Kids are bored at Church. Advice requested

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1ke said:
Get some materials that explain the mass at his level so he understand what is going on.
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You can create your own jeapardy game and give some rewards for right answers.
 
Saturday evening Mass works best for our family. We go to Mass, then picnic at a park. When we get home it’s time for the littleist ones to go to bed and we put on a movie.

Sunday morning is truly relaxed. Slow, lazy breakfast and we each get time to do whatever we want until about noon. And yes, that means the kids can get screen time or sleep in.

I would encourage you to come up with a “lifestyle change” sort of plan in order to help move the conversation in the right direction. Reward and normalize.

I agree with the reading the readings ahead (I’ll often do that at Friday night dinner or over the homeschool week) and going to a teaching Mass can help a lot. Having a Magnificat or Magnifikids can also help quite a bit.
 
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resolute said:
I also remember having to explain to my son that there are 168 hours in a week and that God allows us to do as we please the other 167 hours and that at 1 hour a week God is actually asking very little of us.
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I think is reasonable. The children should know that it is serious, but also something they have to do whether they like it or not, but that it is not that onerous.

Forcing the children to be as involved as their parents is a mistake.

I don’t think having the children being pressured into a lot of involvement- particularly after 8 years of being absent from church- is a too much to ask. I remember one of my school chums being forced to go to like 3 or 4 Christian Missionary Alliance services with his parents back in the day. Zero to 90 overnight is fine for the adult making the decision, but taking kids who are thinking on their own in school all day- I think you’ll get backlash.
 
@anikins 9 to 14 years old isn’t old enough? 😳
How old would you suggest?
 
I thought Mass was boring as a teen until I matured and actually researched it and understood it and now I’m in my early 20s and I love it. Maybe see if there are any fun and informative YouTube videos or books that break up the Mass and explain what each part means? If he understands what everything means and the traditions behind everything then it might be better for him. Also make sure you tell your kids about how the Mass leads up to Jesus! Once I found out that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist I understood why it’s so important and not boring.
Edit- make sure your kids have a Missal to follow along in- it’s sometimes easy to get distracted during readings but the missal keeps me focused!
 
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Question regarding this topic: should kids think Mass is fun or should kids treat Mass as a very important event in their lives?
 
Aulef said:
Question regarding this topic: should kids think Mass is fun or should kids treat Mass as a very important event in their lives?
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It’s not a question of “fun”; you offer a false dichotomy.

If they see it as something unpleasant to be endured, what will be the first thing that happens when they move out?

hawk

p.s. before I met her, the Catholic man my now wife’s mother dated (and later married) offered to buy breakfast afterwards if she came to Mass with him. After I don’t know how many breakfasts, she’d seen enough that she entered RCIA, and met me at a Catholic event . . .
 
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Aulef said:
Do important events have to be fun?
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Of course not. And even if these children think Mass is boring- ESPECIALLY if they think Mass is boring- they should definitely know that they are still going to be in attendance.

A lot of things are boring, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t necessary.

Its a bit much to expect the children to be true believers right away after years of chilling on Sunday morning. However, they can still be required to attend.
 
Do you pray together at home. If you start doing a family rosary in the evening, it might do the trick. The rosary is very powerful
 
crypiehef said:
We recently started going back to church after an 8 year hiatus. Reasons which are personal but yes, we made a huge mistake in that.

Our kids (3 of them) were all baptized. Their ages range from 9 to 14. Our oldest son remembers going to church when he was younger and doesn’t have a problem going back. My youngest, daughter, seems to be very into going as well, however, our middle son has no interest what-so-ever.

We asked him what he thought of mass last Sunday and just replied “boring”.

This last Sunday was, in fact, their first day going back to mass and I understand why he is bored. (Our fault of course).

Any suggestions on helping maybe motivate or help him feel more comfortable? Without putting a complete fear of God into his head?

Thank you for any suggestions. God bless.
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Sadly, your kids have to learn the basics because of your decision to keep them from mass. It’s disappointing but hopefully you can repair that damage. My best recommendation that I can offer is:
  1. go to a children’s mass. Usually 9am masses have a children’s service outside for the homily so they can get a simplified lesson.
  2. Don’t skip a mass again. Your kids will probably continue to say why do I need to go to mass when you didn’t for so many years. It’s going to take many proofs by action to repair that damage for your kids.
 
Your post has made me think about boredom in general. I spent many boring hours as a child. Nobody felt they had to keep me stimulated. This was not a good thing in my life, but I will say, it’s taught me how to deal with boredom. Perhaps your children need more boredom in general so that something creative can come from them. In other words, this may be a problem they have to solve, not you. You could steer the middle child to the internet to learn the parts of the Mass, but not do anything more. But if it were I facing this problem, I wouldn’t ask the children how they liked Mass. Sometimes you don’t want to hear the answers.
 
First understand and help your children to understand that:

• that at each Mass God makes us present at our own Redemption.
• that we become mystically present at the Life, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ.
• that we return to the Last Supper, Calvary, and the empty tomb.
• that Jesus Christ makes Himself fully present at each Mass, trying to help us grow in faith, hope and love, and all the virtues.
• that at EACH Mass He is teaching us, healing us, befriending us, telling us to “come down from the tree”, feeding us, dying and rising for us, sending us out on a mission.
 
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I’m so happy that you and your family are back! Kids tend to be bored at anything where they have to sit and listen, so the family structure during the week is very important. Rosaries and prayers will encourage and prepare them for verbal involvement. Excitement is contagious - so your example is important. Maybe each kid has their own copy of Magnifikid -something they can own. There are many resources for kids at all ages on cites such as the Catholic Company. EWTN has children’s programming for various ages. Watch movies about the different saints. Does your parish have faith formation for kids? Do they have a particular saint they identify with? Just some of my thoughts - best to you and your family.
 
Thank you for the advice. We haven’t missed a Mass since going back. We live in the South and there are only a few Catholic churches around me none of which offer a children’s Mass unfortunately.
 
There are all baptised but have not received first communion or confirmation. We just started working with the Church director and they are pointing us in the right direction. Thank you for all the great advice. Everyone has really gotten me thinking and I believe we are going in the right direction now.

Thanks!
 
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