Kind of a silly question

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Brian2944

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I’m not sure what forum this thread belongs but here goes:

I get my motivation for working out at the gym by enjoying the thought of girls thinking I look good. I’m married and I’m not thinking lustful thoughts about other women, but is it a sin to find motivation in knowing girls like you?

Is this sinful?
 
So, you are not lusting yourself, but don’t mind trying to look a certain way specifically to be an occasion of sin to women? Am I getting this right? 😉
 
No, of course I’m not wanting girls to look lustfully at me. I just like the feeling of being found attractive (just like everybody else does), and I use this as motivation at the gym. I’m able to notice how attractive another woman looks without thinking lustful thoughts, so I guess I enjoy the same towards me.

I’m worried about crossing the line of pride. I don’t have the thought of “I’m the best”, but its nice to be wanted.

I work out with my wedding ring on so I’m not trying to meet women there, but I do enjoy being approached and looked at…so I workout more to keep this feeling.

Crossing the line? :confused:
 
Crossing the line?

I don’t know for sure. But if I were your wife, I would be hurt and offended. I don’t know about the sinfulness of this particular act, but it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. I’m guessing that it’s a symptom of maybe a not-so-God-centered outlook. (We all suffer from that at times.) Perhaps your conscience is trying to give you a gentle nudge to reevaluate your priorities?
 
I think it’s a matter of degree.

Everyone likes to look their best – it makes you feel confident in your relations with others, and can be a source of healthy self-esteem, not to mention being a healthier person over all.

However, if you are a married man who works out specifically because he wants to look more attractive to women other than your wife, you need to reset your motivations for health and fitness. Seriously.
 
Brian2944 said:
I’m not sure what forum this thread belongs but here goes:

I get my motivation for working out at the gym by enjoying the thought of girls thinking I look good. I’m married and I’m not thinking lustful thoughts about other women, but is it a sin to find motivation in knowing girls like you?

Is this sinful?
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It would be considered vanity. It would be more of an imperfection than a sin, since it is not so much something that you want - you may want girls to think you look good, but you don’t want to be vain - and sin requires an act of the will. Therefore this would probably fall into the category of a fault, but you have to be careful because faults can lead to sin.
 
Brian2944 said:
No, of course I’m not wanting girls to look lustfully at me. I just like the feeling of being found attractive (just like everybody else does), and I use this as motivation at the gym. I’m able to notice how attractive another woman looks without thinking lustful thoughts, so I guess I enjoy the same towards me.

I’m worried about crossing the line of pride. I don’t have the thought of “I’m the best”, but its nice to be wanted.

I work out with my wedding ring on so I’m not trying to meet women there, but I do enjoy being approached and looked at…so I workout more to keep this feeling.

Crossing the line? :confused:
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This would be the capitol sin of Pride.
 
sounds like vanity to me. Wanting to be attractive to your wife would be virtuous.

Probably you should change your thought processes–when you think about being attractive, focus on being attractive to your wife. It’s really hard to change thought processes. Maybe you could look at your life and see where else vanity might be poking up its head. Do you buy things to impress people? Do you wear clothes in a way that is immodest? Are you overly concerned with other people’s opinion of yourself?

I’m impressed that you are self reflective enough to pick up on this flaw.

Everyone has certain struggles with particular “root sins.”

Working out is a good thing (done in moderation). So, don’t stop working out. Plus, I’m sure your wife appreciates it (unless it is too time consuming).

Don’t forget to pray about it. If you really want to make progress, you should confess it.
 
JezuUfamTobie said:
Crossing the line?

I don’t know for sure. But if I were your wife, I would be hurt and offended. I don’t know about the sinfulness of this particular act, but it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. I’m guessing that it’s a symptom of maybe a not-so-God-centered outlook. (We all suffer from that at times.) Perhaps your conscience is trying to give you a gentle nudge to reevaluate your priorities?
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I agree. Would you like your wife to do things that she knew would attract other men? Would you like her to do said things with the direct intent of attracting them? Wouldn’t you feel badly that she was directly seeking attention from other men? When a couple is married they are given such a great gift- each other. They should live in a way that uplifts and upholds each other. Granted the “good” feelings you get from the extra attention can be nice, but that attention does you no good. Those women weren’t given to you. Perhaps it is more of a self-esteem issue or a lack of attention from you wife. Marraiges can get … “stale” after a while. Maybe if you focused more on you relationship with your wife instead of looking good for other women you would find the benefits ten fold. I think it’s all a normal part of human nature, but we humans are far from perfect. Pray and focus on the things that should matter the most.

All the best! Peace and Prayers!🙂
 
Don’t know if it is a sin, but I do give you extra points for pondering your motivation. I think that is a sign you are moving in the right direction.
 
Brian2944 said:
No, of course I’m not wanting girls to look lustfully at me. I just like the feeling of being found attractive (just like everybody else does), and I use this as motivation at the gym. I’m able to notice how attractive another woman looks without thinking lustful thoughts, so I guess I enjoy the same towards me.

I’m worried about crossing the line of pride. I don’t have the thought of “I’m the best”, but its nice to be wanted.

I work out with my wedding ring on so I’m not trying to meet women there, but I do enjoy being approached and looked at…so I workout more to keep this feeling.

Crossing the line? :confused:
Click to expand...
I used to date a guy who had the same problem. I didn’t waste much time on him because I didn’t see where it would lead to a very emotionally comfortable life with him. If he was in constant need of affirmation from every other female around him, even though I gave him plenty, then life would be pretty miserable for me after a very short while. Women don’t appreciate this behavior at all.

Just give it some more thought. I’m sure your wife is not comfortable with your preoccupation with what other women think about your physique, even if she never says so.
 
  1. Wear baggy pants and a baggy shirt. No one will be able to see your pecs, lats and slats.
  2. Instead of working out at a gym, volunteer to unload trucks at the local community food bank; that way all that effort will get put to use generating useful work instead of just being wasted on moving weights up and down.
Or volunteer at the local hospital pushing wheelchairs around.

Or volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and build or fix up some houses.

Or pick up litter along the highway.

Why waste all that energy???
 
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