Kind of dissapointed with my child's CCD Teacher

[mrs_katekista]

Well, actually, what your daughter described is Modalism which is in fact an incorrect understanding of God.

I would certainly not have handled it the way your daughter’s teacher did (but then again, we don’t really know what happened exactly).

Sixth grade is difficult, some students have begun developing abstract reasoning skills while others are still very concrete. So, this is a difficult transitional time in the way these things can be explained.

Thanks 1ke for providing that perspective. I will definitely look that up. Or do you have links/resources I can go to to learn more about it?

My children know that the analogies we use to explain the Blessed Trinity are not perfect but it gives us a way to understand this mystery a little bit better.

Yes, the teacher’s reaction bugs me, too. (Not much anymore at this moment.)

Thanks for sharing!

Peace and all good.

 

[houseofsaul]

Why are we so quick to jump to the teacher’s defense and not the child’s. The teacher was clearly in the wrong. she told the child she was wrong but not once tried to clarify how. That sets a mindset for other children to not answer questions for fear of being done the same way. Doesn’t appear the teacher cared to even convey the answer to her own question…most likely because the student gave a better understanding than the teacher was capalbe of doing herself. Just because sone feel the kid should toughen up because it will happen again and again does not justify the actions of the teacher. Tolerance to ignorance, rudeness and the like imo have become to commom place.

 

[acadiANNA]

I believe CCD teachers especially need to exhibit behaviors that will promote self-esteem. In my opinion/judgment, the teacher showed lack of respect for one of God’s children. When a child feels he/she can contribute and participate, they have a right to do so without fear of ridicule or intimidation. The teacher is the adult here. The teacher should feel that each person in her class is important and that she is responsible for their spiritual growth, maybe even emotional growth. When you are a leader and role model, you need to step up to the challenge. It is true, we are not going to be treated lovingly and caringly all of the time. Learning to handle ‘slights’ when we are young helps us throughout our whole lives. Your daughter is growing up. With your help and support, she can forgive the action of this teacher and realize there will be less of these times than of the good times. She will gain confidence in time. I’m all for nurturing good and Christ-like behaviors. May God give you peace with this issue and bless all involved with knowledge and compassion.

 

[houseofsaul]

I believe CCD teachers especially need to exhibit behaviors that will promote self-esteem. In my opinion/judgment, the teacher showed lack of respect for one of God’s children. When a child feels he/she can contribute and participate, they have a right to do so without fear of ridicule or intimidation. The teacher is the adult here. The teacher should feel that each person in her class is important and that she is responsible for their spiritual growth, maybe even emotional growth. When you are a leader and role model, you need to step up to the challenge. It is true, we are not going to be treated lovingly and caringly all of the time. Learning to handle ‘slights’ when we are young helps us throughout our whole lives. Your daughter is growing up. With your help and support, she can forgive the action of this teacher and realize there will be less of these times than of the good times. She will gain confidence in time. I’m all for nurturing good and Christ-like behaviors. May God give you peace with this issue and bless all involved with knowledge and compassion.

AMEN!

 

[mrs_katekista]

Why are we so quick to jump to the teacher’s defense and not the child’s. The teacher was clearly in the wrong. she told the child she was wrong but not once tried to clarify how. That sets a mindset for other children to not answer questions for fear of being done the same way. Doesn’t appear the teacher cared to even convey the answer to her own question…most likely because the student gave a better understanding than the teacher was capalbe of doing herself. Just because sone feel the kid should toughen up because it will happen again and again does not justify the actions of the teacher. Tolerance to ignorance, rudeness and the like imo have become to commom place.

Thank you. I feel very much the same way about how the teacher handled the situation. She could have paused and asked to clarify what the child was saying. Instead, she immediately assumed something else. I think my daughter was quite appalled (maybe too strong of a word again but I can’t think of any other word right now) with the teacher’s reaction. My daughter also commented that, “She did not have to that!” (acting out, placing herself in 3 separate spots in the classroom).

Peace and all good.

 

[Cristiano]

I’m really just venting here - a bit upset that my child seemed to be humiliated in class for trying to explain something. Please kindly share your thoughts if you wish.

My DD is in 6th grade and she attends our parish Rel Ed Program. Last week her class was talking about the Holy Trinity. The teacher asked who knows what it means. My DD said that it’s like how a person has different roles in his/her life (mom/dad to own children, teacher to students, sister/brother to siblings, etc) and yet he/she is still the one and same person. The teacher did not seem to understand her explanation and she was told that she was wrong, in front of the class. I thought that’s humiliating for a child especially her tender age. My DD won’t admit that she’s upset but she’s teary talking about it.

She’s also disappointed because the teacher did not even try to explain the meaning of the Holy Trinity. The teacher just said, we have 1 God in 3 (divine) persons and it’s a mystery. I think my DD expected more…

My children know that we cannot fully understand God’s mystery until we meet Him but they are aware that there are ways we can try to know and understand God better. Only my 3 year old child seem to take concepts at face value but not my 11 and 6 yo kids. They ask a lot of questions.

I told my DD to just forget about it before I found out that she was told she’s wrong in front of her class. But now, I wish my DD can stand up for herself by giving the teacher a written version of her explanation.

So, that’s about it. What do you think?

Peace and all good!

I am sorry but the teacher was right, your daughter was describing the heresy of modality thus she was wrong. There is nothing intrinsically bad saying to a kid that he or she is wrong especially when the error is made in front of a class.

Having said that, there are are many methods to build from an error and to show a more accurate statement of the Trinity without putting down the student, from your post I am not sure that the teacher put down the student in front of the class.

Finally it is normal for a child to be embarrassed when corrected, especially if the child comes from a very protective family. Embarrassment comes from being exposed to something new and unexpected, it is not a sign of something being automatically wrong, sometime people are embarrassed by public compliments because they are not used to receive them. You seem a very protective mother and that is usually good, however, if we teach our children that they can never be wrong then we are going to raise them with the attitude of blaming others for their own failures. I am a very protective father but now I have to undo some damage that I did to my son by not letting him fail and be embarrassed when it could have been a good learning experience for him without being too harmful.

 

[mrs_katekista]

I believe CCD teachers especially need to exhibit behaviors that will promote self-esteem. In my opinion/judgment, the teacher showed lack of respect for one of God’s children. When a child feels he/she can contribute and participate, they have a right to do so without fear of ridicule or intimidation. The teacher is the adult here. The teacher should feel that each person in her class is important and that she is responsible for their spiritual growth, maybe even emotional growth. When you are a leader and role model, you need to step up to the challenge. It is true, we are not going to be treated lovingly and caringly all of the time. Learning to handle ‘slights’ when we are young helps us throughout our whole lives. Your daughter is growing up. With your help and support, she can forgive the action of this teacher and realize there will be less of these times than of the good times. She will gain confidence in time. I’m all for nurturing good and Christ-like behaviors. May God give you peace with this issue and bless all involved with knowledge and compassion.

Thanks a lot! I agree!

 

[Cristiano]

I believe CCD teachers especially need to exhibit behaviors that will promote self-esteem. In my opinion/judgment, the teacher showed lack of respect for one of God’s children. When a child feels he/she can contribute and participate, they have a right to do so without fear of ridicule or intimidation. The teacher is the adult here. The teacher should feel that each person in her class is important and that she is responsible for their spiritual growth, maybe even emotional growth. When you are a leader and role model, you need to step up to the challenge. It is true, we are not going to be treated lovingly and caringly all of the time. Learning to handle ‘slights’ when we are young helps us throughout our whole lives. Your daughter is growing up. With your help and support, she can forgive the action of this teacher and realize there will be less of these times than of the good times. She will gain confidence in time. I’m all for nurturing good and Christ-like behaviors. May God give you peace with this issue and bless all involved with knowledge and compassion.

So are you saying that the teacher should not correct child for saying something completely wrong? Where is the ridicule and intimidation here? I did not see anything in the OP in regard to that. Where is the lack of respect for God’s children?

 

[mrs_katekista]

I am sorry but the teacher was right, your daughter was describing the heresy of modality thus she was wrong. There is nothing intrinsically bad saying to a kid that he or she is wrong especially when the error is made in front of a class.

Having said that, there are are many methods to build from an error and to show a more accurate statement of the Trinity without putting down the student, from your post I am not sure that the teacher put down the student in front of the class.

You have a point, Cristiano. My daughter understands that the analogy is not perfect. She knows that God did not switch from one person to another - that the 3 divine persons of God have always existed. (1ke brought this up earlier and I looked up what modality means)

She knows it’s a mystery we can never fully understand. She also knows that it does not mean that we have to stop there and not try to get even a little understanding of God’s mystery.

She does not have any problem being told she’s wrong but the illustration given why she was wrong was totally different from what she was saying - she tried to explain further was cut off short. Then, the teacher did not make any effort to explain the concept, either.

Finally it is normal for a child to be embarrassed when corrected, especially if the child comes from a very protective family. Embarrassment comes from being exposed to something new and unexpected, it is not a sign of something being automatically wrong, sometime people are embarrassed by public compliments because they are not used to receive them. You seem a very protective mother and that is usually good, however, if we teach our children that they can never be wrong then we are going to raise them with the attitude of blaming others for their own failures. I am a very protective father but now I have to undo some damage that I did to my son by not letting him fail and be embarrassed when it could have been a good learning experience for him without being too harmful.

You are correct. I am very protective of my children, to the point that it drives me crazy some (or often) times. However, my children are aware that they can make mistakes. In the occasions that they do make mistakes, they know that I will never cover it up for them and that they must make reparations for it.

Thanks for sharing!

Peace and all good.

 

[Lucky7]

So are you saying that the teacher should not correct child for saying something completely wrong? Where is the ridicule and intimidation here? I did not see anything in the OP in regard to that. Where is the lack of respect for God’s children?

I agree with you to a point. I didn’t see any lack of respect/ridicule/intimidation here; however, i think the teacher’s response could have been more sensitive. This wasn’t a math problem with a definite right or wrong answer (in which case I have no problem with a teacher saying, “no, that’s wrong”).

I happen to think that the student’s response wasn’t necessarily “wrong” (otherwise St Patrick is wrong too). I think she could have said something along the lines that “that is a good way to try to better understand the mystery that is the Holy Trinity” (and perhaps mention the Shamrock as another way), but then explain that in the end it is something that is very difficult for us to truly comprehen, etc. etc.

However, having been a teacher (both CCD and public school) I tend to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt.

 

[mrs_katekista]

So are you saying that the teacher should not correct child for saying something completely wrong? Where is the ridicule and intimidation here? I did not see anything in the OP in regard to that. Where is the lack of respect for God’s children?

I’m sorry Cristiano, it was indeed not in my OP. I mentioned what the teacher did after saying she was wrong in my response to Allegra, forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=9952008&postcount=14

Thanks again.

Peace and all good.

 

[mrs_katekista]

…In the occasions that they do make mistakes, they know that I will never cover it up for them and that they must make reparations for it.

I meant reparations when necessary.

 

[NSFrame]

I don’t think people were siding with the teacher, per se, or at least I wasn’t. I was saying to keep the teacher neutral and to focus on how the daughter can handle such situations. You don’t want to create an adversarial relationship with a teacher unless something egregious is done (ex. my friend had a teacher in the 70s who would punish white children for playing with black children and her mother pulled her from the school). The daughter has all of high school and college ahead of her, not to mention years of life dealing with a boss, and she is going to have to navigate all sorts of tricky situations.

 

[silicasandra]

You know what bugs me? The teacher is a long-time certified Catholic Elementary School Teacher.

I also think she did not expect anybody from her class to confidently answer her question. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Peace and all good.

Wow, from reading your OP I thought that the teacher had to be new at this (or at least her teaching experience was limited to CCD). 1ke and Cristiano brought up good points about why your daughter’s answer was not correct, but I still think teachers should at least explain why or know how to “let a student down gently.” At the very least, be able to think quickly on our feet when something unexpected happens (which it almost always does!)

Out of curiosity (and not that credentialling necessarily means much of anything ), but do you know if teachers in your diocese are independently credentialed or do they also have to meet state education requirements? In my diocese all teachers have to be state certified as well as take additional courses to be certified by the Diocese within two years after being hired. I am not trying to make a blanket statement and say that your daughter has a “bad” teacher, but sometimes the requirements aren’t very rigorous and the quality of the teaching can reflect that. Or the teacher might not approach CCD as seriously as her day job since she doesn’t get paid for it.

 

[acadiANNA]

Christiano and Mrs_katekista, I took one word ‘humiliation’ ,and expanded it to mean ridicule and intimidation and lack of respect for one of God’s children. Success for me here is that the daughter has a sincere interest to learn about God. I totally agree that if a student gives a wrong answer, she should be told so, but in an appropriate manner. That is not always the case. God bless you all.

 

[coachdennis]

A good rule for teachers and parents:

Parents – believe 50% of what your child says happen in class

Teachers – believe 50% of what a child says happen at home.

In other words, there are always multiple factors that figure in any “conflict” between teachers and students.

Teachers sometimes are incompetent or poorly trained… and sometimes they are having a bad day and despite their best efforts may have had a bad moment of judgment.

Anyone who has posted on this thread want to claim they have NEVER had a similar experience on the job or at home? If so, I will be glad to startyour canonization paperwork now

Also, sudents can leave out “selective” facts when reporting things to their parents, especially if not mentioning those facts puts them in a more favorable light.

Again, before we put the child on a pedastel or tar and feather the teacher lets take a
step back and put this in perspective.

 

[SouthCatholic]

Thank you BlueEyedLady. I agree with you. I remind her about that all the time. She’s very good at letting things go even though she’s been hurt. This is not a big issue obviously but to attend a weekly RE she does not really need to attend because she learns more from home and only does it for mom (for the sake of being a part of the parish community) - it makes me feel sad …
**
My DD says that she always raises her hand and rarely gets called despite the fact that only a few students are willing to participate**. She told me that sometimes she doesn’t feel like raising her hand anymore. But I keep encouraging her to just keep trying and then this happens.

Peace and all good!

I can respond to this…

Both as a college professor and CCD instructor (I teach second grade–what a huge difference), I find there are always a few students who are gun-ho about participating. As an instructor, part of my job is to encourage participation by ALL of the students. It is one of the ways to immediately determine if everyone gets it.

It truly sounds like your daughter is extremely sensitive. You will not do her any favors if you don’t help her figure out how to get past this.

 

[mrs_katekista]

Thank you all, again for sharing your thoughts. As some of you have suggested, I have to pick my battles. This one is not something I should make a big fuss about but venting here surely helped me realize that (quickly).

 

[kkollwitz]

In my catechism class I don’t think I’ve ever told a kid who volunteered an answer that it was simply wrong. Usually I’ll try to pick the correct parts out and get them to elaborate on them, or at worst say it’s not quite the answer I’m looking for, can you or someone else try again?