Kind of embarrassing - advice needed

[lovedance4ever]

Hello everyone,

I have been concerned about how I have been feeling lately. I have successfully lost and kept off 60 lbs. However, I do have about 30 more to go and am desperately trying to lose them.

Well here is the problem. Food has begun to scare me. I have only been eating about one meal and a snack per day…and I do not know why. If I think about it, I realize that this is not the right thing to do, but at the same time, I do not want to eat. Food has also been making me feel very sick lately; I feel nauseous and my stomach hurts a lot. I do not know if this is connected to how I feel, or if it is a separate problem.

It is just difficult to feel so unattractive all the time, and to constantly struggle with losing the final few pounds. It has been making me so very depressed. This is also very embarrassing for me, as I do not usually like to talk about this kind of thing openly. I am just afraid to mention this to my parents (they have enough on their plate, and I do not want to concern them) and I thought this would be a good place to go for advice and support.

I am a 19 year old female, if that makes any difference.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Prayers are very welcome, as is any advice.

God bless

 

[Angelsflight]

You should probably go see a doctor about the stomach issues, just in case, but it sounds like maybe a side effect of the fear of food…

Be proud that you lost the weight that you did…just be careful. You dont want to fall into an eating disorder either.

Have a doctor check you out…be on the safe side.

 

[SMG44]

I too have lost a significant amount of weight. I was able to lose it quickly and was having some similar symptoms like being nauseous and my stomach hurt. The thought of eating caused fear as I did not want to regain the weight, but my fear comes from anxiety. But I digress, the other symptoms were signs of gall bladder issues and had to have mine removed - I have a family history of gall bladder problems compounded by how quickly I lost the weight. I am not a doctor, but you might want to discuss it with yours.

Praying for you!

 

[Highwayhound]

Hello,

First, thanks for filling out your profile. It gives people some insight into who you are as a young lady. A lot of people do not fill their profile or are very vague.

I have successfully lost and kept off 60 lbs.

:clapping: My sister (since the last time I had seen her) has lost about 20 pounds.

However, I do have about 30 more to go and am desperately trying to lose them.

Lay this at the foot of the cross. Who decided the number (and that is all it is)? A doctor or did you pick a number your self? The number is meaningless.

Well here is the problem. Food has begun to scare me. I have only been eating about one meal and a snack per day…and I do not know why.

Have you considered eating several smallish meals/snacks throughout the day? The idea being to keep your blood sugar levels stable throughout the day which then regulates things and helps the body burn fat safely. You might research this idea.

If I think about it, I realize that this is not the right thing to do, but at the same time, I do not want to eat. Food has also been making me feel very sick lately; I feel nauseous and my stomach hurts a lot. I do not know if this is connected to how I feel, or if it is a separate problem.

A young co-worker of mine I think can only eat rice cakes and carrot sticks. Well, she can eat a little more than that, but she has certain medical issues which severly limit her food choices. She has had a ton of struggles with food. So your situation could have a medical component. It might be worth a trip to a doctor to check your body’s food compatability.

It is just difficult to feel so unattractive all the time, and to constantly struggle with losing the final few pounds. It has been making me so very depressed. This is also very embarrassing for me, as I do not usually like to talk about this kind of thing openly.

There are also emotional/brain issues which can be at play. For example when I was a younger man I went to France to bicycle tour with my dog Cyclops. At the airport I did not tuck my cash all the way into my pocket. It fell out somewhere, but by the time I noticed it was long gone. (Someone had a really nice day that is for sure:shrug Well, my girlfriend loaned me some money so I could go on the trip, but I ran low on funds and my food budget was very limited. I had a great summer in France and Cyclops was a hit with any French people she met. When I got back home where food was plentiful my weight jumped up by 30 pounds. It seems no matter what I do my brain does not want to deplete the body’s energy reserve. So, I guess the moral of this story don’t you go bicycling around France with your dog anytime soon :nope:

I am just afraid to mention this to my parents (they have enough on their plate, and I do not want to concern them) and I thought this would be a good place to go for advice and support.

I understand this. I had a situation in my life where I did not go to my mom for the same reason you mentioned. No dad he took off when I was 8. Again lay it all at the foot of Jesus’ cross. Sometimes a problem is just too big for us or our souls are too cloudy. Give it to the big guy and let him hold on to it.

I am a 19 year old female, if that makes any difference.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Prayers are very welcome, as is any advice.

God bless

I am including a link about a young woman who’s message about life is truly inspiring:

youtube.com/watch?v=kPF1FhCMPuQ

I really like the point when she says, “I declare life!” (It comes just after 5 minute mark.)

By the way what do you write and also, what sort of history interests you? I like real life escapes history books from World War II.

God bless

 

[Socrates1889]

You need to talk to someone for your own mental well being. Weight Watchers are wonderful people and some may have gone through the same thing you are going through. You are right, in order to loose weight and stay healthy you do need to eat and eat properly.

Something that may help you feel better sooner is B-complex OR a multivitamin. Lacking vitamins can make you feel ill as well as depressed. Eating the way you are may have you lacking in them. Keep in mind some Vitamins can make you feel nauseous. The B-complex can possibly help with the depression. Regular vitamins make me feel sick so I only take children’s vitamins.

 

[R_C]

First of all, your commitment is praiseworthy.

However, I hope you are following some guidance and not doing this alone. Both in physical and in spiritual matters, proper direction by experts is often needed. I know with the health system here this may not be too easy but then I am worried about the negative reactions you mention…metabolism is a delicate issue. It may be necessary to start taking steps to bring it to balance, and then work from there to keep your efforts in a way that will be more healthy.

Now, from the spiritual standpoint, I am very concerned about your intention: you do realize that “it is the spirit that gives life, the flesh profits for nothing”, don’t you? Vanity, being a sinful inclination, can bring along many of those things you are experiencing (depression, embarrassment, dissatisfaction) while on the other hand you should not worry about being “unattractive” (are you talking of the fact that you not easily tempt men to lust? Because I personally don’t have any issue seeing all women as attractive, and I would never judge unattractive a woman according to the mere appearance). To begin with, Christ loves you of an infinite love. Second, we live in a sinful world focused on fake images of a sacrilegious sexuality, and we cannot focus on what the world wants us to look like or act like…we ought to focus on what is best.

I do suggest that you mention this to your parents. It would be a wonderful thing since it will show just how much you love them and value their opinion, and I think those are the two things that will always make parents feel as parents. Besides, no matter what, they probably already noticed what is going on and are probably worried inside, though they respect you and do not try to abruptly ask you, perhaps waiting for you to do what all sons and daughters do and eventually talk to them They can help you from there on to perhaps bring more equilibrium into your effort.

For the spiritual aspect, you may want to speak to your pastor and mention that you may need a few minutes of his time for spiritual direction, so that then you can explain to him what motivates you and together you can figure out how to get rid of the negative feelings and dissatisfaction and how to turn your effort into something that is even more pleasing to God.

 

[RoseMary131]

Hello everyone,

I have been concerned about how I have been feeling lately. I have successfully lost and kept off 60 lbs. However, I do have about 30 more to go and am desperately trying to lose them.

Well here is the problem. Food has begun to scare me. I have only been eating about one meal and a snack per day…and I do not know why. If I think about it, I realize that this is not the right thing to do, but at the same time, I do not want to eat. Food has also been making me feel very sick lately; I feel nauseous and my stomach hurts a lot. I do not know if this is connected to how I feel, or if it is a separate problem.

It is just difficult to feel so unattractive all the time, and to constantly struggle with losing the final few pounds. It has been making me so very depressed. This is also very embarrassing for me, as I do not usually like to talk about this kind of thing openly. I am just afraid to mention this to my parents (they have enough on their plate, and I do not want to concern them) and I thought this would be a good place to go for advice and support.

I am a 19 year old female, if that makes any difference.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Prayers are very welcome, as is any advice.

God bless

Congratulations on your weight loss.

I would want you to tell me if you were my daughter, even with all the other things “on my plate.” As my daughter, I would want to make sure everything is going well.

A visit with the doctor would be a first stop. I would also want you to talk with a nutritionist to help with meal planning - this can be arranged by the doctor.

If all is well and its safe to keep losing weight, I would see about other aids in helping you lose weight and find what works best for those last pounds you want to loose. Maybe a community center for exercising, weights, swimming and group exercising like Zumba. Maybe Weight Watchers for more support.

I would give you a big hug…a hug for all the work you have done, hugs for the pain, the fear, and for being depressed.

I hope you make time to talk with your parents tomorrow.
:hug1:

 

[JaneBennet]

Hello everyone,

I have been concerned about how I have been feeling lately. I have successfully lost and kept off 60 lbs. However, I do have about 30 more to go and am desperately trying to lose them.

Well here is the problem. Food has begun to scare me. I have only been eating about one meal and a snack per day…and I do not know why. If I think about it, I realize that this is not the right thing to do, but at the same time, I do not want to eat. Food has also been making me feel very sick lately; I feel nauseous and my stomach hurts a lot. I do not know if this is connected to how I feel, or if it is a separate problem.

It is just difficult to feel so unattractive all the time, and to constantly struggle with losing the final few pounds. It has been making me so very depressed. This is also very embarrassing for me, as I do not usually like to talk about this kind of thing openly. I am just afraid to mention this to my parents (they have enough on their plate, and I do not want to concern them) and I thought this would be a good place to go for advice and support.

I am a 19 year old female, if that makes any difference.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Prayers are very welcome, as is any advice.

God bless

Congratulations on losing the weight. It can be hard. Like you, I was very depressed with how I looked, and I lost 100 lbs. I am still working on another 20. As far as your pains, you need to see a doctor to rule out anything serious. I got to the point where I only ate about 1000 to 1200 calories a day which was not healthy because I was also exercising a lot.

Here is what ultimately helped me.

1. Realize that who you are is more than your physical appearance. Even when I got down to my goal weight I was not happy and decided I needed to be focused more on body fat percentage because that is what is related to long-term health. I realized that my depression, although influenced by appearance, was more related to failing in other parts of my life. Now I am working on improving all parts of my life, including my appearance, and I feel a lot healthier for it.
2. You need to really focus on what you are eating. For a while, I got to where I would eat a meal and a snack per day of about 1000 to 1200 calories, not caring much about where the food came from, but this is wrong. It really really matters what you are eating. God has put such great things here on the earth for us, and our job is to make them a balanced part of our diet as much as possible, cutting out the processed fake foods. Smaller meals and snacks consisting of fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, lean proteins is the way to go.
3. Add exercise that gives you a sense of accomplishment. When I started losing weight, I could not jog 3 minutes, now I am up to 7 miles at a time. This helps me not be afraid to splurge on my meals here and there because I know I can just run a few extra miles. I bargain with myself on this sometimes. Dessert day equals a 5 mile run, not just 3 miles, etc.

If you really make the food lifestyle changes permanent then you don’t need to have a food anxiety. Right now I have let sweets creep back in too much because I have kept that stuff around. Make smart choices and have smart options only, and don’t be too hard on yourself for a slip. Tomorrow is always a new day.

God Bless.

 

[newlywed8]

I am going to try to answer this while staying away from medical advice, here it goes.

1. Like others have said - congrats on loosing 60 lbs - that is a great accomplishment! Many people do not have the self control to do that.
2. When people who are very overweight start eating healthy, it is common for there to be a big drop in weight, followed by a plateau. So it is very common for the last pounds to be harder to lose. You have to be patient with yourself. Extreme dieting is not going to help because you are not going to be able to keep it up. It is far more beneficial to learn how to eat healthy and enjoy it, so you can keep it up in the long term.
3. I am not saying this is what is happening for you, but I have heard of people doing extreme dieting feeling ill when they finally do eat. Eating only one meal a day does not sound like it is enough. It may be psychological, but feeling ill can also be physical.
4. Like other posters have said, it is very possible you are missing key vitamins in your diet, such as iron or B12, which can cause depression or emotional difficulties. Getting outside and getting some sun and perhaps some exercise can also do wonders for boosting your mood and helping with weight loss. Work on developing a balanced diet. There are many helpful organizations with tips and support. WeightWatchers is great, but there are others, such as SparkPeople, which are completely free.

Keep your focus on becoming healthy, not on just about the numbers. Do not go too extreme in your attempt to get your weight down to what you want. The key is to be healthy.