kissing

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I’m sure this question has been asked loads of times before but how much kissing can you do as boyfriend and girlfriend? If things don’t go beyond kissing is that all ok? would appreciate your views.
 
Practically speaking, I say isolate kisses to short and square on the lips, no nibbling or tonguing. Anything more **will get most people aroused ** and put you and your b/g-f in a tempting situation. Dr. Laura agrees wholeheartedly. No need to play with fire. From someone who has made the mistake before, you’ll be much happier to have saved that for marriage in addition to all the other privledges you will get.

BTW, this thread belongs in moral theology, not family life.
 
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tangent:
I’m sure this question has been asked loads of times before but how much kissing can you do as boyfriend and girlfriend? If things don’t go beyond kissing is that all ok? would appreciate your views.
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Since the good Lord has wired our systems so that kissing naturally leads to intercourse, and stopping is hopelessly frustrating, I would stay away from anything you wouldn’t do in front of your mother. Period.

Don’t ask “how far can we go?” Just don’t start. If the magic is there, it has a will of its own and it can get you into a lot of trouble.
 
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vluvski:
Practically speaking, I say isolate kisses to short and square on the lips, no nibbling or tonguing. Anything more **will get most people aroused **and put you and your b/g-f in a tempting situation. Dr. Laura agrees wholeheartedly. No need to play with fire. From someone who has made the mistake before, you’ll be much happier to have saved that for marriage in addition to all the other privledges you will get.

BTW, this thread belongs in moral theology, not family life.
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vluvski is right. It’s very easy to get aroused when you passionately kiss with your honey. Keep your tongue to yourself!
 
Here is a great Catholic website that answers many questions about these subjects. If you put your mouse over the ‘Chastity Q&A’ section, you can then choose the link titled, ‘How Far is Too Far?’.


God Bless.🙂
 
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tangent:
I’m sure this question has been asked loads of times before but how much kissing can you do as boyfriend and girlfriend? If things don’t go beyond kissing is that all ok? would appreciate your views.
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Just to let you know, kissing in and of itself is not a mortal sin. But if it leads to more physical acts, then you open yourself up to mortal sin.
 
Basically think “affectionate” rather than “passionate” because you’re demonstrating true, chaste love for each other–not how far you can (or can’t) go. :love:

God bless,

Marian84
 
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jrabs:
Just to let you know, kissing in and of itself is not a mortal sin. But if it leads to more physical acts, then you open yourself up to mortal sin.
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Actually, it can be (I’m not talking about a peck).
 
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StratusRose:
Then how?
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More passionate kisses done for arousal. But remember, the 3 req for a mortal sin have to be there. In sins related to purity/chastity reaching climax outside of the marital embrace is not the only way to be in mortal sin.
 
😃 As my papa used to say, "If you have to ask - don’t do it!"
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tangent:
I’m sure this question has been asked loads of times before but how much kissing can you do as boyfriend and girlfriend? If things don’t go beyond kissing is that all ok? would appreciate your views.
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lifeisbeautiful:
More passionate kisses done for arousal. But remember, the 3 req for a mortal sin have to be there.
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Hmm. I don’t totally agree with that. However, I do recognize that there is a fine line.
 
Yes, lifeisbeautiful, according to the CCC, incomplete acts of lust can be mortally sinful regardless of whether or not they end in sexual climax. It specifically mentions (tho I can’t say where) that purposeful arousal, even non-genital arousal, without plans to “make good on it” is a grave matter and if the other conditions are met, is a grave sin. For most people, kisses with tongue or nibbling or even extended, “mushy” lip kisses are going to be arousing.
So… if you disagree with lifeisbeautiful that passionate kissing can be mortally sinful, you’re also disagreeing with the Catholic Catechism.
 
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mercygate:
Since the good Lord has wired our systems so that kissing naturally leads to intercourse, and stopping is hopelessly frustrating, I would stay away from anything you wouldn’t do in front of your mother. Period.
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What excellent, common-sense advice that hits home with almost everyone and certainly provides a meaningful guideline for anyone in their teen years!
 
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vluvski:
Yes, lifeisbeautiful, according to the CCC, incomplete acts of lust can be mortally sinful regardless of whether or not they end in sexual climax. It specifically mentions (tho I can’t say where) that purposeful arousal, even non-genital arousal, without plans to “make good on it” is a grave matter and if the other conditions are met, is a grave sin. For most people, kisses with tongue or nibbling or even extended, “mushy” lip kisses are going to be arousing.
So… if you disagree with lifeisbeautiful that passionate kissing can be mortally sinful, you’re also disagreeing with the Catholic Catechism.
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So are you saying that I “lust” after my boyfriend? I can tell you right here and right now that I do not. When we kiss each other we mean not to go any further than that. Yeah I might slip in the tongue a little, or he may, but kissing with us doesn’t last long because we know what it can lead to. It’s not like he shoves his tongue down my throat! :eek: I understand what it means by preparing the body for intercourse. We know our boundaries.
 
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StratusRose:
So are you saying that I “lust” after my boyfriend? I can tell you right here and right now that I do not. When we kiss each other we mean not to go any further than that. Yeah I might slip in the tongue a little, or he may, but kissing with us doesn’t last long because we know what it can lead to. It’s not like he shoves his tongue down my throat! :eek: I understand what it means by preparing the body for intercourse. We know our boundaries.
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Intention of the heart is at core here.
When you two kiss and your heart is pure in extending/receiving that kiss, then fine. You’re clear. It is a demonstration of your love and affection, no more, no less.

But watch any TV show or movie where you see a girl or a guy go up to someone they aren’t married to and plant “a deep one” on them and you see clearly what the Church is talking about. The person giving the kiss in that situation knows exactly that the receiver will get aroused by the kiss and the giver has no plans to take it any further. The giver, in this situation, should they be Catholic and fully knowledgeable about what he/she is doing would, in that instance be committing a mortal sin of lust.
 
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YinYangMom:
Intention of the heart is at core here.
When you two kiss and your heart is pure in extending/receiving that kiss, then fine. You’re clear. It is a demonstration of your love and affection, no more, no less.

But watch any TV show or movie where you see a girl or a guy go up to someone they aren’t married to and plant “a deep one” on them and you see clearly what the Church is talking about. The person giving the kiss in that situation knows exactly that the receiver will get aroused by the kiss and the giver has no plans to take it any further. The giver, in this situation, should they be Catholic and fully knowledgeable about what he/she is doing would, in that instance be committing a mortal sin of lust.
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Yes, I agree with you. Now we’re all on the same page. You said what I couldn’t put in words. Thanks! 😃
 
Man! I can’t even READ this thread without encountering a near occasion of sin! And I’m seriously OLD!
 
Right, everyone is different. I absolutely, positively, cannot kiss my fiance in that way without getting things hot. Even if it is just the tiniest little bit, even if we cut ourselves off right there… it leads to thoughts and just down the wrong road in general. My fiance agrees that he cannot handle it either. Not even a little, but that’s just us. If you and your significant other can be pure and chaste in mind, heart, and body while ‘indulging’ in more physical kisses, then you’re probably in the minority. In general, it is just a poor idea.
 
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