kissing

[vluvski]

mercygate:

Man! I can’t even READ this thread without encountering a near occasion of sin! And I’m seriously OLD!

Ok, that cracked me up. Me neither. Everyone has different boundaries, I guess. FI and I couldn’t even make it through the NFP book without having to take a break to cool off!

 

[mercygate]

vluvski:

Ok, that cracked me up. Me neither. Everyone has different boundaries, I guess. FI and I couldn’t even make it through the NFP book without having to take a break to cool off!

 

[StratusRose]

vluvski:

In general, it is just a poor idea.

Thanks for the relationship advice, but both my significant other and I are capable of displaying self-control.

 

[contemplative]

mercygate:

Man! I can’t even READ this thread without encountering a near occasion of sin! And I’m seriously OLD!

This will cool you down…

C G Am7 Em7
What do you get when you kiss a guy?

 F          Fm      Dm7       G7

You get enough germs to catch pneumonia –

Em Em7 Em6 A7sus4 A7
After you do, he’ll never phone ya;

F Dm7 G F Fdim C
I’ll never fall in love a - gain;

A7 F G F G C G F Fdim C
Dontcha know that I’ll never fall in love again?

I’ll Never Fall In Love Again midi

*Words & Music by Burt Bacharach & Hal David
Recorded by Dionne Warwick, 1970 *

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

vluvski:

… purposeful arousal, even non-genital arousal, without plans to “make good on it” is a grave matter and if the other conditions are met, is a grave sin. For most people, kisses with tongue or nibbling or even extended, “mushy” lip kisses are going to be arousing.

Very well said :clapping:

BTW, lust does not mean that you have in your mind that you want to use someone (though that could be an example of it), and it can happen with people we love. From the Catechism:
Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is** morally disordered ** when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

It is very easy to fall in lust, thanks to our original sin. (Christopher West explains it well, you can also read about it in a more profound way in Love and Responsibility, by JPII before he was JPII). It is something one has to ongoingly fight against, even in marriage.

 

[LeahInancsi]

As stated by STATUSROSE:

Thanks for the relationship advice, but both my significant other and I are capable of displaying self-control.

Before I saw your last comment, I wanted to scream “We are not animals. Let’s hope we can control our emotions enough to stop before it is too late.” I’m glad to see you’re mature enough to CONTROL yourselves.

For someone who can’t stop after a couple kisses without intercourse has serious emotional problems.

 

[tangent]

vluvski:

Yes, lifeisbeautiful, according to the CCC, incomplete acts of lust can be mortally sinful regardless of whether or not they end in sexual climax. It specifically mentions (tho I can’t say where) that purposeful arousal, even non-genital arousal, without plans to “make good on it” is a grave matter and if the other conditions are met, is a grave sin. For most people, kisses with tongue or nibbling or even extended, “mushy” lip kisses are going to be arousing.
So… if you disagree with lifeisbeautiful that passionate kissing can be mortally sinful, you’re also disagreeing with the Catholic Catechism.

Yes, I agree. but if you didn’t find French kissing arousing, but on the contrary found it rather boring, but did it out of curiosity, what then? Personally, I found my first kiss a let down, and kissing in general not arousing. I know this coming from a guy might sound unusual, but there’s the case. I never felt the temptation to take it any further. In fact I remember thinking distinctly that the whole kissing thing was greatly exaggerated. I still do, though clearly lots of people seem to be more susceptible.

 

[Siena]

Wait until you kiss someone you love… It will knock your socks off!

 

[vluvski]

Siena:

Wait until you kiss someone you love… It will knock your socks off!

So, so, so true!
When I was living at the Catholic student center, I shared a simple, innocent goodbye kiss with my now-fiance.
It was so overwhelming I literally stumbled the ten feet to the Blessed Sacrament Chapel and collapsed right in front of the tabernacle.
leahlnancsi:

Before I saw your last comment, I wanted to scream “We are not animals. Let’s hope we can control our emotions enough to stop before it is too late.” I’m glad to see you’re mature enough to CONTROL yourselves.

For someone who can’t stop after a couple kisses without intercourse has serious emotional problems.

You misunderstand me. Whether or not the pair can stop before intercourse is not the issue. I am a virgin, and so is my fiance. Obviously, we’re able to stop ourselves despite having shared (IMO, unfortunately) some rather passionate kisses.

It isn’t necessary to have intercourse or even engage in illicit behavior such as mutual masturbation for the act to become a grave matter. Kissing is enjoyable. Passionate (as opposed to affectionate) kissing is enjoyable because it is arousing. Purposely engaging in an arousing activity when one cannot complete the act could in and of itself be a mortal sin, whether or not completion is intended, unintended, or even considered.

Self control is not the issue, not in spite of but because of the fact that we are not animals. We are capable of rational thought. With that capability comes the responsibility to exercise discretion so that our actions do not lead us to sinful thoughts. We are also instructed not to purposely expose ourselves to the near occasion of sin. For most people, passionate kissing constitutes a near occasion of sin.

 

[kage_ar]

contemplative:

This will cool you down…

C G Am7 Em7
What do you get when you kiss a guy?

F Fm Dm7 G7
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia –

Em Em7 Em6 A7sus4 A7
After you do, he’ll never phone ya;

F Dm7 G F Fdim C
I’ll never fall in love a - gain;

A7 F G F G C G F Fdim C
Dontcha know that I’ll never fall in love again?

I’ll Never Fall In Love Again midi

Words & Music by Burt Bacharach & Hal David
Recorded by Dionne Warwick, 1970

I will be singing this all day long now My husband and son will most likely call you later to thank you personally

 

[contemplative]

kage_ar:

I will be singing this all day long now My husband and son will most likely call you later to thank you personally

Funny thing…the tune wormed it’s way into my head already.
and
my DH thinks he is coming down with a cold.
The tune had some real meaning for me…no kisses this morning.

 

[LeahInancsi]

Vluski,

I’ve figured out the disconect in our varied experiences with kissing. I looked at some personal peofiles. I’m a 50 year old woman and many of you are 20ish guys.

BIG DIFFERENCE! I suspect that, in general, women like kissing more than men. Men want to get to the “fireworks.”

This is God’s plan. Men’s sex drive is intended to perpetuate the human race, but it is only intended for procreation as opposed to fun. That’s where you skate the thin line of sin.

 

[vluvski]

Just in case there’s any question, I’m a woman of 23 years.

 

[LeahInancsi]

Sorry, for the mistake. There is a 20ish guy in this thread somehwere.

As for this topic and my contribution to it. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with this problem anymore.

 

[Juliaaa]

yeah tangent, my first kiss was on the pretty yuck-e-ish too:S i was like, either i’m not doing this right, he’s not doing this right, or i’m supposed to be a nun!

haha. no… i’m still considering a vocation.

i know there is a hard-to-define line here… and it’s tough stuff. sometimes.

i’m sure the thread name itself yuckaroused everyone just kidding. but i certainly clicked on it. hah.

you sound like an extremely moderate girl, as does the other girl who wrote something like you did… and, that’s awesome.
(posting unfinished)

 

[StratusRose]

LeahInancsi:

Sorry, for the mistake. There is a 20ish guy in this thread somehwere.

As for this topic and my contribution to it. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with this problem anymore.

Just to diffuse any confusion I am also a 23 year old woman.

 

[StratusRose]

LeahInancsi:

This is God’s plan. Men’s sex drive is intended to perpetuate the human race, but it is only intended for procreation as opposed to fun. That’s where you skate the thin line of sin.

Sex is not only for procreation.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

vluvski:

So, so, so true!
When I was living at the Catholic student center, I shared a simple, innocent goodbye kiss with my now-fiance.
It was so overwhelming I literally stumbled the ten feet to the Blessed Sacrament Chapel and collapsed right in front of the tabernacle.

You misunderstand me. Whether or not the pair can stop before intercourse is not the issue. I am a virgin, and so is my fiance. Obviously, we’re able to stop ourselves despite having shared (IMO, unfortunately) some rather passionate kisses.

It isn’t necessary to have intercourse or even engage in illicit behavior such as mutual masturbation for the act to become a grave matter. Kissing is enjoyable. Passionate (as opposed to affectionate) kissing is enjoyable because it is arousing. Purposely engaging in an arousing activity when one cannot complete the act could in and of itself be a mortal sin, whether or not completion is intended, unintended, or even considered.

Self control is not the issue, not in spite of but because of the fact that we are not animals. We are capable of rational thought. With that capability comes the responsibility to exercise discretion so that our actions do not lead us to sinful thoughts. We are also instructed not to purposely expose ourselves to the near occasion of sin. For most people, passionate kissing constitutes a near occasion of sin.

:clapping:

In some cases its like if one plays the Russian Roulette and does not get killed. Just because one did not get killed does not mean it was ok.

 

[mlchance]

tangent:

I’m sure this question has been asked loads of times before but how much kissing can you do as boyfriend and girlfriend?

None. My wife won’t let me have a girlfriend.

Bah-dum-ching!

But seriously folks: Once you cross the line between kissing and foreplay, you’ve gone too far. Keep in mind that your mileage to get to that line might vary.

– Mark L. Chance.