Kneeling at Funerals

[Brownginger]

I recently attended a funeral at a local Catholic parish and was amazed that no one knelt during the Consecration and the other parts of the liturgy for which kneeling is prescribed by our Archbishop. Later, I contacted the parish and was told that such behavior is done because there probably are some non-Catholics in attendance who would not understand the “ups and downs.” I remember other funerals where the Catholics knelt at the appropriate times and no one seemed perplexed or put off. The priest-celebrant merely offered visitors the alternative of sitting.

This puts me in mind of what is happening in secular America, where Christians are denying their deeply-loved symbols for fear that persons of other faiths might be offended thereby. Thus, Nativity scenes are being hidden, public yuletide greetings are discouraged, Thanksgiving is not celebrated in some school districts, even Valentine’s Day is ignored because it might be contrary to the beliefs of a small minority of students and other residents.

Are some pastors becoming so politically correct that at a funeral Catholics in attendance are not encouraged to follow generally-accepted behavior because one person or another might not understand? Is Jesus’ Presence on the Altar not to be adored – are we not to humble ourselves in His Presence – out of a false sense of deference to non-Catholics? Is Jesus to be essentially forgotten in favor of ritual neutrality at funerals?

Perhaps non-Catholics would be delighted to see their Catholic friends give proper resepct to the Holy Eucharist. Perhaps some might even be led thereby to inquire into becoming Catholic themselves. A funeral and a wedding are perfect occasions for evangelization; by discouraging kneeling, a pastor is denying the Holy Spirit a simple yet very effective means of inspiring souls open to His whisperings.

Funerals by their very nature take the focus away from the Altar. We tend to think about the deceased beloved and about family and friends; we are busy reading directions and hymns; and we may even be envisioning the pleasures awaiting us at the reception. By the simple act of kneeling, our minds return to the Mass and to Him to whom we are praying for the repose of the soul of the departed loved one we have come to remember. Most non-Catholics don’t mind.

 

[Bonnie]

We haven’t had a problem here. The priests explain beforehand that non-Catholics can sit if they wish & shouldn’t take Communion. One priest used to tell people to remain standing in the pew - that didn’t work well as it made it impossible for Catholics to get out of the pew. Now that we are allowed to kneel after the Lamb of God, it’s not a problem - non-Catholics sit.

The only time I got confused was a huge and very fancy wedding Mass. Lots of non-Catholics and no one said when to stand, sit, or kneel.

 

[decatholic]

**
Funerals by their very nature take the focus away from the Altar. We tend to think about the deceased beloved and about family and friends;** we are busy reading directions and hymns; and we may even be envisioning the pleasures awaiting us at the reception. By the simple act of kneeling, our minds return to the Mass and to Him to whom we are praying for the repose of the soul of the departed loved one we have come to remember. Most non-Catholics don’t mind.

Funerals by nature…what else takes the focus away? By the nature of funerals they should indeed point the to resurrection. I work in a cemetery and have never had your experience. On the contrary, it makes us point to the Altar. Hope this experience helps.

 

[Irishmom2]

You could have knelt if you desired to do so. I have seen people kneel on the floor during mass when there are no kneelers, and most people just sat.

Did they actually say not to kneel, or do you mean they did not give direction at all? Or did they say please sit where we normally would kneel?

It is true that funerals are sometimes attended by lapsed Catholics or non-Catholics. They just follow along what everyone else is doing. Sometimes, they are left standing while everyone behind them is kneeling.

 

[RodH]

Sounds like just one more example of weakwilled and pathetic leadership from the local parish.

OP: Just kneel next time.

Are you not to show adoration to the Lord because a Methodist, atheist or Jew might not like standing up and sitting down?

Indeed, the liturgy would be a grand way to prick the curiosity of those attending.

“Why do you kneel and stand?” says the pagan.

And there, right there, you have a wonderful opportunity to explain the Mass which is, after all, the plan of salvation!

 

[Kielbasi]

, I contacted the parish and was told that such behavior is done because there probably are some non-Catholics in attendance who would not understand the “ups and downs.” I remember other funerals where the Catholics knelt at the appropriate times and no one seemed perplexed or put off. The priest-celebrant merely offered visitors the alternative of sitting.

.

Most aware non-catholics know about the different postures that Catholics use during masses, they may not know the particulars as to why, or when, but few are totally unaware. I’ve suggested that those that aren’t familiar sit toward the rear and just do what the others in front who presumably know do.

Unless the deceased Catholic had no Catholic relatives, and the vast majority of those in attendance were non-catholic, I can’t see it.

 

[Valdemar]

Unless the deceased Catholic had no Catholic relatives, and the vast majority of those in attendance were non-catholic, I can’t see it.

I agree with your post and am not being critical and I get your point, but I can’t see it at all.

Folks, we Catholics have surrendered. I mean, given up. Run away. Fled. Folded.

I’m a convert and the biggest problem by FAR I have with the culture of Catholicism, no, the WHOLE problem I have with it, is the wholesale embarrassment Catholics have, especially some priests, deacons, Bishops, Cardinals and…etc…with BEING Catholic.

Would ANYONE here expect a Moslem to let you waltz into a Mosque along with…ya’know…the Pope and…bow to Mecca…ya’know…along with…the Pope…without taking your shoes off?

Would ANYONE expect a Baptist to POUR water?

Would anyone expect a Calvinist minister to open the service with an invitation to speaking in tongues?

Would anyone expect a freakin’ Green Bay Packers fan to wear a Broncos jersey at a Bowl party?

C’mon, people.

We are either Catholic or we are NOT.

No, it isn’t always “both-and”.

Sometimes it is “either-or”.

 

[pianistclare]

Likely a bunch of non-Catholics.

They grieve too you know.

Our priest prefaces the kneeling parts of the Mass with the words:

Please kneel or sit, according to your own customs.

No problemo.

 

[pensmama87]

Likely a bunch of non-Catholics.

They grieve too you know.

Our priest prefaces the kneeling parts of the Mass with the words:

Please kneel or sit, according to your own customs.

No problemo.

Yes.

I stumbled on a funeral a few years ago (along with a couple other daily Mass attendees). The only people there who knew the deceased were presumably his children. It was very clear that they had not been to Mass in ages, but it was also clear that they were grieving. The priest didn’t make announcements about what to do, but employed a couple subtle gestures to remind them when to do what.

It’s been my experience that non Catholics can be very, very uncomfortable kneeling, and don’t understand why we do it.

 

[dconklin]

Our music minister will usually give instructions if the priest does not.

To the other extreme, the other night at Mass at the beginning of the Preparation of the Gifts, the sound technician (new, big church) had trouble with the sound system and it finally cut on before the beginning of the Eucharistic prayer. It must have startled a friend of mine and he stood up. He is “very Catholic” and a lot of people just took his cue stood up. Eventually he figured it out and sat back down.