Kneeling for Communion- Trouble

[Cat]

Thanks for the reply The thing is, I am obedient to my parents. Extremely obedient. But in this case they never said couldn’t kneel. They’re just making fun of me for doing so.

You might be rationalizing. ?? Your parents never said you couldn’t do something, so you do it.

What you need to do is find out specifically what your parents would like you to do.

Ask them, politely, “Mom, Dad, how would you prefer that I receive Holy Communion? I would like to be in obedience to you and honor your wishes.”

If they say, “Like everyone else,” then you will know for sure what they prefer, and you can obey.

If they say, “We don’t care, do whatever you please,” then continue to kneel.

But don’t rationalize. Don’t say, “Well, they never said I couldn’t do it.” ASK them.

 

[ChristisRisen32]

I’m not rationalizing. I did ask them. They said it was my choice. Yet I’m still getting comments. So the messages are inconsistent. From your tone it sounds like you think I’m deliberately trying to disobey my parents. I’m not.

 

[ChristisRisen32]

I am impressed by your faith and your obediance to your parents and the Church. I wish that more of the teens in our youth program had your understanding. It is also worth noting that simple conversation can go a long way. If you are not emotional and can express yourself in a logical manner I think it could help with your family.

“This is something that really helps me in my faith and I feel that I should be doing. I recognize that it is embarassing. Most things are that go against the crowd. You raised me to be strong enough to follow what I think is right and I believe this is the right things for me to do. I am not judging you or anyone elses actions and fully support and respect any Church approved way to recieve our Lord.”

Maybe not word for word but something like this would probably take the heat off of you from your parents without them feeling defensive.

That is splendid advice I think I will do that if it comes up again.

 

[ChristisRisen32]

I agree your in a tough situation and your parents should not be making fun of you because faith is a very personal thing. However, have you ever stopped to consider that your parents are loosing their faith in “real presence” and thats why they dont kneel. When they see you do so they react the way they do because they wished they had your type of believing faith. Also, not in your case but sometimes its impossible for people to do so because of health reasons or time reasons- for example in most cases if your in the choir you dont have time to kneel because before you know it you have to sing. Think about things from all peoples points of view not only your own.

Hmm. I’ve often thought about this and I don’t think they’ve “lost faith” in the real presence. But I don’t think they understand it means a lot to me. My sister was making jokes that maybe next time I should somersault and have them throw the host in my mouth. I didn’t think it was funny. The Eucharist is truly 100 percent God and I wish people would treat it that way.

As for looking at other points of view, you’re right. I understand not everyone can or wants to kneel. I’m okay with that. Any way the Church approves reception of Holy Communion is a correct way.

 

[Monica4316]

Okay so I’m getting very frustrated at the moment. I’m a teenager living at home with my family and we go to Mass every week. My parents are both Catholic, but not heavily spiritual. My dad is very knowledgeable about the Church and knows doctrine backwards and forwards, but he lacks a lot of the piety that I seek. My sister went to Catholic school, and likes being Catholic, but not really that active in her faith. Recently, I’ve decided that in order to maximize my reverence for the Most Holy Eucharist, I will kneel and receive it on the tongue. However, I’m getting frustrated. I get many stares at Mass from the EMHCs because NO ONE else does it. Additionally, my own family has made rude remarks about this. My sister said that it was “embarrassing” to do this because it holds up the line a little longer. My dad and her started laughing at me after Mass today saying that I’m making so many people perplexed by my weird “posture” and that I might as well “entirely prostrate on the ground to make a scene”. What should I do about this? Should I just stop kneeling for communion? I’ve talked to our associate pastor before Mass the first time I did it and he said it was fine. I know I’m allowed by the Church but I don’t like all this backlash I’m getting from my family and the stares from the laity.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Tony

Sorry to hear that Tony I’m meaning to receive Communion kneeling as well, but like with you, no one at my parish does this. Here’s my view… if your priest said it’s okay, then it’s okay, and try to just not pay attention to what people say or their reactions it might help you to be at the near end of the line, where there are less people. Also, it might help to only receive from the priest - not sure if you do that or not - because he said it’s okay so you won’t get an odd reaction there.

I think… keep doing it! It might give others the courage to follow your example… also, maybe it’s even kind of good to get this sort of reaction, because it makes you uncomfortable rather than tempting you to pride, - just let it humble you but keep on showing reverence to Our Lord

Here are some encouraging articles/videos
offerimustibidomine.blogspot.com/2011/06/ppe-benedicts-intention-beyond-indults.html
offerimustibidomine.blogspot.com/2011/06/impressive-forward-thinking-bishops.html
here is another young man who receives Communion kneeling, and he gives some advice on that youtube.com/watch?v=egkp1tYrpBk&feature=share

God bless!

 

[Monica4316]

I disagree that the OP is being disobedient or disrespectful to parents.

Disagreeing is not disrespecting…

there have been various times in the lives of the Saints, when their parents told them to do something but they couldn’t because it went against their devotion to God. For example, if a parent said “I dont like you going to Mass”, or “I don’t like you being Catholic”, - what should the person do? St Philomena’s parents begged her to marry the emperor but she made a vow of virginity to Christ and did not and was martyred for that… (she’s very courageous, that must have taken a lot). St Gemma’s family tried to get her to dress more fashionably but she kept on wearing what she felt she should wear.

It’s different if a parent says: “I FORBID you from…”… then it’s humble to obey. But if the parent simply disagrees… we do not need to agree, if we’re talking about faith. Otherwise, Christians whose parents are atheists would need to renounce their faith in God. Jesus said, we need to love Him first. Of course we should always be charitable and respectful, and obedient, but having a different view is not disobedience.

The OP said that his parents didn’t forbid him from receiving Communion kneeling, - people just ridicule it. Which is very unfortunate, but it doesn’t mean it would be more humble to stop kneeling. If someone orders you to stop…then it’s humble. If someone ridicules… that is different.

I might be wrong, but this is how I see it.

God bless

 

[ChristisRisen32]

Sorry to hear that Tony I’m meaning to receive Communion kneeling as well, but like with you, no one at my parish does this. Here’s my view… if your priest said it’s okay, then it’s okay, and try to just not pay attention to what people say or their reactions it might help you to be at the near end of the line, where there are less people. Also, it might help to only receive from the priest - not sure if you do that or not - because he said it’s okay so you won’t get an odd reaction there.

I think… keep doing it! It might give others the courage to follow your example… also, maybe it’s even kind of good to get this sort of reaction, because it makes you uncomfortable rather than tempting you to pride, - just let it humble you but keep on showing reverence to Our Lord

Here are some encouraging articles/videos
offerimustibidomine.blogspot.com/2011/06/ppe-benedicts-intention-beyond-indults.html
offerimustibidomine.blogspot.com/2011/06/impressive-forward-thinking-bishops.html
here is another young man who receives Communion kneeling, and he gives some advice on that youtube.com/watch?v=egkp1tYrpBk&feature=share

God bless!

I appreciate the articles. They’re very good. Interestingly enough, the Youtube video you posted I have seen before. This guy’s videos are what inspired me to start kneeling in the first place

 

[Monica4316]

I appreciate the articles. They’re very good. Interestingly enough, the Youtube video you posted I have seen before. This guy’s videos are what inspired me to start kneeling in the first place

lol! that’s good I have a couple friends who kneel for Communion and someone I know shared this video on facebook. However at my parish no one kneels and most people receive in the hand.

 

[Catholicpotato]

Yeah, I really do not see the “disobedient” part of this. I think one would be assuming a lot to even get that. The OP gives no indication or hint of disobedience. In fact, I think this is the type of young adult that takes very seriously the obedience to parents issue. The OP has not bad mouthed his parents. Just given a straitforward and honest account of a situation that is pretty straiforward to solve. We have to be careful that our own projections on teens that want to be countercultural dont get in the way. In this case, the counterculture is the reverent position.

 

[ChristisRisen32]

lol! that’s good I have a couple friends who kneel for Communion and someone I know shared this video on facebook. However at my parish no one kneels and most people receive in the hand.

Have you talked to Father about it?

 

[ChristisRisen32]

Yeah, I really do not see the “disobedient” part of this. I think one would be assuming a lot to even get that. The OP gives no indication or hint of disobedience. In fact, I think this is the type of young adult that takes very seriously the obedience to parents issue. The OP has not bad mouthed his parents. Just given a straitforward and honest account of a situation that is pretty straiforward to solve. We have to be careful that our own projections on teens that want to be countercultural dont get in the way. In this case, the counterculture is the reverent position.

Thank you. This was my intention. I respect my parent’s authority and I wouldn’t want to give the impression otherwise

 

[Cat]

I’m not rationalizing. I did ask them. They said it was my choice. Yet I’m still getting comments. So the messages are inconsistent. From your tone it sounds like you think I’m deliberately trying to disobey my parents. I’m not.

No, I don’t think you’re deliberately disobeying them. I did put question marks after my statement about rationalizing, because I wasn’t quite sure if that was the case or not.

If they said it’s your choice, then kneel. Keep kneeling, and probably they will eventually stop making fun of you. Some parents are like that–they just don’t know how to deal with things they don’t understand, so they keep picking at it.

You just keep doing the right thing and being quiet and respectful about it, and they will have nothing to make fun of.

 

[Kielbasi]

What should I do about this? Should I just stop kneeling for communion? I’ve talked to our associate pastor before Mass the first time I did it and he said it was fine. I know I’m allowed by the Church but I don’t like all this backlash I’m getting from my family and the stares from the laity.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Tony

Even though kneeling is considered a greater sign of piety, you aren’t showing much humility by your actions, as it calls attention to you by adopting a different posture than everyone else in your parish.

Further, because you are a teenager, a lot of the other people in church, just accredit your actions as being smart alecky and not pious at all.

I’d recommend that you conform to the usual protocol of your parish in order not to send out the wrong vibe. In a few years, you’ll be able to attend the church of your choice where kneeling is more commonplace, and you’ll be a bit older so that folks would give you a lot more respect.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I don’t talk about religion with them. I don’t think it’s a response to how I perceive their actions.

Why not? You don’t have to preach or point out their perceived failings, but do you talk about the homily after Mass, mentioned something your learned in your reading? Talking about your faith/religion among your family, who are all also Catholic, shouldn’t be hard. especially since your father is well versed in doctrine, ask him about it! I bet you’ll learn something!

As for kneeling, I think Cat’s post is very instructive. Learning obedience in such a simple atmosphere is a wonderful blessing.

 

[ChristisRisen32]

Even though kneeling is considered a greater sign of piety, you aren’t showing much humility by your actions, as it calls attention to you by adopting a different posture than everyone else in your parish.

Further, because you are a teenager, a lot of the other people in church, just accredit your actions as being smart alecky and not pious at all.

I’d recommend that you conform to the usual protocol of your parish in order not to send out the wrong vibe. In a few years, you’ll be able to attend the church of your choice where kneeling is more commonplace, and you’ll be a bit older so that folks would give you a lot more respect.

Not showing humility? Not to sound rude, but that’s kind of a big judgment to make.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Tony

 

[ChristisRisen32]

Why not? You don’t have to preach or point out their perceived failings, but do you talk about the homily after Mass, mentioned something your learned in your reading?

Because it normally ends with my dad trying to argue with me. My dad is well versed in doctrine, doesn’t mean he agrees with it all. So he’ll say things like it’s not a big deal to miss Mass or supporting abortion/birth control is okay. I’d just prefer to stay out of arguing with parents since I have much to learn to even question the authority of my parents.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Tony

 

[Irishgal49]

Hello Tony,

Kneel and receive. Don’t worry about others. Sometimes in following God we must stand alone. I say this because I have severe knee and hip problems. I watch others kneeling and feel very sad. I wish so much I could kneel but I cannot. I bow and genuflect but I see people look at me too…often thinking I must not be very respectful but the pain I am in constantly in my left hip does not permit me to kneel. If I could kneel, I would do exactly what you are doing just in love and appreciation that I CAN kneel and show my Savior how much I love and worship him.

Blessings to you!

 

[Kielbasi]

Not showing humility? Not to sound rude, but that’s kind of a big judgment to make.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Tony

I’m not saying you’re not humble.

I am saying that you don’t seem to appear humble to adults with your actions.

I’m not making any judgements about your actions at all, I’m not in your church.

But a lot of the adults in your church are, and some of them may be judging you to be a smart alecky teenager, and that really isn’t going to be of much help to you as you build your own life.

 

[suko]

ChristisRisen32,

since your parents said that it’s your choice, then keep kneeling. Don’t worry about the stares, the “he’s drawing attention to himself” comments, or the “he needs to conform his posture to the rest of the parish’s” comments. If you truly believe that Christ is truly present, body, blood, soul and divinity in the blessed sacrament, then keep doing what you’re doing and showing our Lord your adoration and love for him.

Here are some other good links about kneeling for you:

youtube.com/watch?v=8pA-kLY2CkY

youtube.com/watch?v=Ap1KL2D5ae4

May the Peace of Christ be with you my friend.

 

[benedictgal]

You might be rationalizing. ?? Your parents never said you couldn’t do something, so you do it.

What you need to do is find out specifically what your parents would like you to do.

Ask them, politely, “Mom, Dad, how would you prefer that I receive Holy Communion? I would like to be in obedience to you and honor your wishes.”

If they say, “Like everyone else,” then you will know for sure what they prefer, and you can obey.

If they say, “We don’t care, do whatever you please,” then continue to kneel.

But don’t rationalize. Don’t say, “Well, they never said I couldn’t do it.” ASK them.

Cat, I think that your post misses an important point here. First and foremost, the parents are not forbidden their son to take on this posture; they are ridiculing him for it. Second, it is not the EMHCs who should determine how a communicant receives. That is his right.

The revised GIRM that will be inserted in the coming Roman Missal states that:

The norm established for the Dioceses of the United States of America is that Holy Communion is to be received standing, unless an individual member of the faithful wishes to receive Communion while kneeling (Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, Instruction, Redemptionis Sacramentum, March 25, 2004, no. 91).

While the parents are their children’s first teachers, they, too, need to be properly catechized in the Faith. If the young person in question were doing something horrible during the Mass (listening to his Ipod, sending a text or some other act), then, the parents should intervene and quickly. However, in this case, the young OP is not doing anything wrong and is well within his right to receive Holy Communion in this legitimate manner. Rather than discourage him, we should follow his example of courage and fidelity.