Know Any Good Unitarian Jokes? (or other)

[BrassCricket]

Hey all, resident UU here. For a religion about nothing, we sure get a lot of jokes headed our way. But we love the attention. Anyways, I’m doing a project for my religions class about humor in religion, and I want your help. I need to compile more religious jokes that are self-effacing/in good taste. Of course, to search for such a thing on the internet normally, well, let’s just say the results are unpleasant.

So to get the ball rolling, I’ll give a few examples of the jokes I’ve seen about my faith, and maybe you’ll share some you know. Above all, be tasteful.

Why are Unitarians so bad at singing? Because we’re always reading ahead to see if we agree with the lyrics.

(From an episode of the Simpsons, set at the church ice cream social)
Lisa: What flavors do you have?
Rev. Lovejoy: Well, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and our new Unitarian flavor ice cream.
Lisa: I’ll have that
(Rev hands her an empty bowl)
Lisa: But there’s nothing in there.
Rev: Eeeexactly.

(From an episode of MAS*H where Col. Potter calls the chief chaplain at the Pentagon)
Potter: Answers his own phone. Must be a Unitarian.

 

[Annie_B]

Making jokes about anyone’s religion is very disrespectful
Annie

 

[RebeccaJ]

Back in the day when I attended UU services and “stuff”, I always liked the 'you know you’re a UU when" lists…

You get mail from committees you didn’t know you were on.
You know at least two people who are upset that trees had to die for your church to be built.
You find yourself rewriting a church survey, rather than taking it.
You call up your minister in the middle of the night, panicking because you are starting to believe in God.
To explain your personal theology, you have to use interpretive dance.
You think a Holy Day of Obligation is your turn to do coffee.

 

[AJTheMan]

Back in the day when I attended UU services and “stuff”, I always liked the 'you know you’re a UU when" lists…

You get mail from committees you didn’t know you were on.
You know at least two people who are upset that trees had to die for your church to be built.
You find yourself rewriting a church survey, rather than taking it.
You call up your minister in the middle of the night, panicking because you are starting to believe in God.
To explain your personal theology, you have to use interpretive dance.
You think a Holy Day of Obligation is your turn to do coffee.

Aha!

 

[RebeccaJ]

Aha!

Well I did have very Buddhist leanings at the time.

 

[AJTheMan]

Well I did have very Buddhist leanings at the time.

Is that right? Well, I’m glad that you were able to find the religion (Catholicism) that fits for you. I hope you find comfort in it.

 

[John_Lazarus]

I heard they start all their prayers with, “To Whom it may concern:”.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Is that right? Well, I’m glad that you were able to find the religion (Catholicism) that fits for you. I hope you find comfort in it.

Thanks.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I heard they start all their prayers with, “To Whom it may concern:”.

The only time you hear any reference to Jesus Christ is when the janitor falls down the stairs.

 

[RebeccaJ]

How Many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb?

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual Light Bulb Sunday Service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

 

[zaffiroborant]

I don’t know any jokes but it did visit here for my Unitarian Jihadist name.. This is The First Reformed Unitarian Jihadist name generator there is also the Unitarian Jihad name generator found here.

Brother/Sister Katana of Patience

 

[grace_singh]

here is one i heard :

the KKK came to pay a visit to the local UU church late one night, in response to the church’s civil rights activities. in light of UU theology, they decided to do someting different, and burt a giant, wooden question mark on the church property.

http://www.forums.boolprop.com/images/smilies/covereyes.gif sorry!

 

[RebeccaJ]

I don’t know any jokes but it did visit here for my Unitarian Jihadist name.. This is The First Reformed Unitarian Jihadist name generator there is also the Unitarian Jihad name generator found here.

Brother/Sister Katana of Patience

Sister Pepper Spray of Forgiveness

 

[Contarini]

Hey all, resident UU here. For a religion about nothing, we sure get a lot of jokes headed our way. But we love the attention. Anyways, I’m doing a project for my religions class about humor in religion, and I want your help. I need to compile more religious jokes that are self-effacing/in good taste. Of course, to search for such a thing on the internet normally, well, let’s just say the results are unpleasant.

So to get the ball rolling, I’ll give a few examples of the jokes I’ve seen about my faith, and maybe you’ll share some you know. Above all, be tasteful.

Why are Unitarians so bad at singing? Because we’re always reading ahead to see if we agree with the lyrics.

(From an episode of the Simpsons, set at the church ice cream social)
Lisa: What flavors do you have?
Rev. Lovejoy: Well, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and our new Unitarian flavor ice cream.
Lisa: I’ll have that
(Rev hands her an empty bowl)
Lisa: But there’s nothing in there.
Rev: Eeeexactly.

(From an episode of MAS*H where Col. Potter calls the chief chaplain at the Pentagon)
Potter: Answers his own phone. Must be a Unitarian.

My advisor used to quote this one:

Unitarians believe in three things: the Fatherhood of God, the brotherhood of man, and the neighborhood of Boston. (This of course applies better to old-fashioned Unitarians than to the contemporary, postmodern kind, who definitely find the first two items too patriarchal!)

Also, Garrison Keillor has some good Unitarian jokes.

Edwin

 

[John_Lazarus]

Sister Pepper Spray of Forgiveness

Brother Atom Bomb of Desirable Mindfulness

 

[cheese_sdc]

Making jokes about anyone’s religion is very disrespectful
Annie

Might as well laugh at yourself. Everyone else is doing it. :lol:

Brother Cricket Bat of Humanitarianism

 

[cheese_sdc]

Hey all, resident UU here.

:waves: Hello! I’ve been attending UU services for almost two years.