Knowing someones secret

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o0omaryo0o

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What would you do if you would find out someones secret??

A few days ago I found out a “secret” from somebody. It was something that
happened to this person in the past, it really broke my heart since I’ve been through the exact same thing.
I honestly really don’t know what to do with it, should I tell this person that I know and understands his pain and all that.
Or should I keep it to myself. Which I find very difficult cause I can’t talk about it with anyone else and it keeps spinning around in my head.
Sometime ago I prayed for a special intention during a Vespers in the chapel where this person also was, that was before I found out his secret. But the intention was about what’s happened to me in the past, but also to him. So I honestly think he already knows what I"ve been through.

Just need some advice here!

(Oops I saw I’ve posted this in the wrong category, (i’m new here) sorry, hope someone can move it to the right place)
 
I would keep the secret to myself. If he wanted you to know about it, he would share it with you. You can talk to someone else about what happened to you, like a counselor. People really have to work through their problems themselves, and it’s a shame someone devulged his “secret” to you, or however you found out. But if he wanted to talk about it with you, he would.
 
Yes somewhere in my heart I think I should keep it to myself. But another part of me wants to be there for this person. I tried to pray for him today but right now I’m just overwhelmed by emotions.
I myself already have had counseling and still have someone with whom I already talk about my own past.
I found out about his past by accident on a internet forum where he had placed his story. It was an forum for people who just like us went through the same circumstances…
 
But you can be there for that person, without him knowing you know his secret. Just be his friend and be there for him. Maybe, in time, he’ll share his secret with you himself, and that will open up the door for more dialog.
 
I suggest you keep this information to yourself and pray for this person.
 
o0omaryo0o said:
Yes somewhere in my heart I think I should keep it to myself. But another part of me wants to be there for this person. I tried to pray for him today but right now I’m just overwhelmed by emotions.
I myself already have had counseling and still have someone with whom I already talk about my own past.
I found out about his past by accident on a internet forum where he had placed his story. It was an forum for people who just like us went through the same circumstances…
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If he posted his story on an internet forum and you were able to identify him then it doesn’t seem very secret.
 
momor said:
If he posted his story on an internet forum and you were able to identify him then it doesn’t seem very secret.
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Not necessarily. Chances are the person is using a pen name on a public forum, but at the same time receiving support from people who have same experiences. o0omaryo0o may just happen to know this person’s pen name.

At any rate, o0omaryo0o should keep what she found out to herself. Wanting to talk to the person in this case, seems to have two folds: out of sympathy(other centered), cannot contain own overwhelming emotion(self centered). The person has expressed himself in a forum to get support, and he probably has sought professional help also. Therefore, I suggest o0omaryo0o to overcome the strong emotion, keep this secret to self, and stay in appropriate boundary.

Boundary is very important.
 
Keep it to yourself, and use the opportunity to pray for that person.
 
Rence said:
I would keep the secret to myself. If he wanted you to know about it, he would share it with you. You can talk to someone else about what happened to you, like a counselor. People really have to work through their problems themselves, and it’s a shame someone devulged his “secret” to you, or however you found out. But if he wanted to talk about it with you, he would.
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i agree:D
 
Can you communicate with the other person anonymously on the other board and offer your support that way?
 
baltobetsy said:
Can you communicate with the other person anonymously on the other board and offer your support that way?
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I could do that, but don’t want to. Besides the message he posted are already some time old. And I don’t know if he still is looking on the website.

Last night I woke up at 02.00 and haven’t slept at all ever since. I tried to call up a very good friend and ask him for advice. But he wasn’t there…
The entire night I was thinking I should tell him, I can’t really explain why… Just a feeling inside of me that tells me that I should…

I’ve been thinking about calling him up and ask if I can talk to him today…
But at the same time I’m a bit scared to do so right now…

I really appriciate all your advice, and I understand and agree with it in some ways, but it’s really hard when you’re in this position and know what I know…
 
o0omaryo0o said:
I really appriciate all your advice, and I understand and agree with it in some ways, but it’s really hard when you’re in this position and know what I know…
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Yes, it is hard, but we’ve all learned secrets, and it’s not a good idea at all to tell them. I can only recommend prayer and more prayer.
 
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