Knowing yourself with regards to holiness

[JoyToTheWhirled]

So I’m having an inner dialogue. Watching the temptations that float through my head regularly. Temptations to swear and gripe and lose my temper. To murmur irritations and backbite about my husband. To indulge the more carnal appetites in unhealthy ways. It’s all going on and I just become more keenly aware of that as I walk as a Christian.

I’m having this dialogue because I really am challenged by this holiness topic of recent days, and if you can’t begin by looking at yourself honestly, you’re missing the point, i reckon.

So the latest temptation bubbles up. Now, through the astounding grace of finally receiving Our Lord in communion in the past couple of weeks, I think I have been very blessed to be able to resist quite a bit of the temptations that were besetting me for years in the run up to my conversion. But I am very aware that this is a temporary grace and that God, wanting me to be a full grown believer, will at some point allow me to face the full force of these things again, and that my calling is to cling to Him as tightly as I can, avail myself of all His graces and resist the devil.

Tonight I am tired, and sneaky temptation sidles up and grabs my attention. I brush it aside. But then, for the first time, the temptation returns immediately and is accompanied by a rationalising voice suggesting that it really wouldn’t hurt because I am tired and weak and after all I can always go to confession.

Like, woah! The devil kind of overplayed his hand there because I suddenly jolted out of my train of thought because that is SO clearly a stupidly sinful rationalisation!

I kind of chuckled about it, but was so grateful for the ability to be honest in self examination and be aware of my weaknesses.

This is just me rambling really, sharing one of the many new things God is showing me post-confirmation.

 

[Seagull]

Very honest post - and true warrior accountability - bravo !
I’m amazed when I hear of monks - who deprive themselves of sleep -
that’s such a difficult time - for me - to do battle -
I usually take a nap, if I can - lol -
And I awake - clear minded and focused - and thankful !

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

i heard a preacher say we are most vulnerable to sin when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
It makes the acronym “halt”

I liked it, anyway.

 

[Greenfields]

That makes a lot of sense
Sometimes when the battle is subtle and constant,like in mass this morning with distractions and thoughts,I look at the cross and tell Jesus I really want to concentrate and pray and I’m having a hard time,I give it to You as You know how I really feel ,I’m tired and struggling.
Praying to the Holy Spirit and St Michael when there’s persistent silly thoughts is wonderful.After sometime intrusive thoughts back off.