"Lack of Form" in annulment cases: please advise

[Kathryn_Ann]

Hi, dear friends on the forum:

I just saw a reply in a recent post that caught my eye, as I had not heard the term “Lack of form,” in annulment cases. Please advise on this situation if you can: It’s a bit complicated so I’ve pieced it together as best I can: I need advice as I want to help a close friend.
**
Situation:**

If a non -practicing Catholic (the groom) marries a practicing Episcopalian( the bride) in her Episcopal Church by the Episcopal Rector of the parish, (no permission asked or arrangements made by the groom with a parish of his own)

And then the bride converts to Catholicism after a year of RCIA, (and I don’t know if the groom was ever was baptized a Catholic, but assume so, and I don’t know if he was ever confirmed. He also did not seem to attend along with his bride during RCIA and was accepted for all the world by the parish priest as a Catholic in good standing. )

and their marriage is blessed on Holy Saturday

then the couple later obtains a civil divorce,

(and here are some additional important issues: The groom, with an escalating temper over the years, demanded a divorce over and over, exhibiting psychologically cruel behavior, continuing to demand a divorce…
**
Questions:**

If the couple now remains only divorced civilly, but the bride decides to ask for an annulment, would the “lack of form” be an approach that the bride could use in applying for the decree of nullity?

Or, because the marriage was blessed upon her entrance to The Church, would her only available approach be simply beginning the process and then stating all of the above? Is a marriage like this, blessed in the Church, immune to an annulment? Would not the fact that a Catholic (groom) married in the Episcopal Church mean that there was a “lack of form?”

I ask because I had never heard of the “lack of form” and wondered if that means that a Catholic (non practicing) marrying a protestant in an Episcopal Church might be something that would meet the requirements for “lack of form.”

I have read that the “lack of form” is sometimes quicker in these cases. But also, the fact that the groom was angrily demanding a divorce for several years and in a situation where the bride experienced mental cruelty from her husband’s behavior, would those facts in themselves shorten the process?

I have to add this: Unbelievably, a few years after the divorce, perhaps seeing what he had missed, the groom has alluded to the idea, (asked his now civilly- divorced bride) to remarry him, causing the young lady to smile and say “No thank you.” Yet she wonders what her place is in all this. I believe she can go to Holy Communion, with the usual necessity and graces of the Rite of Penance and Reconciliation.) But she feels as if in limbo for a number of reasons.

Apparently, the groom has matured somewhat, but going back into a marriage like this seems ill advised. Yet I do know that in the eyes of the Church, a civl divorce means very little if nothing, and an annulment is necessary if she or either party ever wishes to re-marry (someone else) in the Catholic Church.

I am wondering if the “lack of form” would apply here. The bride is considering all sides of the question and I only want to help.

I have had a Church annulment myself, before I completed RCIA, and so I am familiar with the process. But in my case, the situation was so very different, one of the less complicated cases with no doubts surfacing as in the case of my friend, the bride spoken of here.

I am very grateful for any advice here, especially on Church law. I also welcome opinions on whether the bride should even consider a re-marriage to this person in The Church.
There are always two sides to every story, so I am not here to vilify. I have prayed about the situation and wonder if God could work to restore this couple. I have seen some maturity in the groom involved, yet also seen the former problems of temper re-emerge. God is great, and my heart goes out to both of them. Are second chances possible. Or in this case advisable?

This is a very difficult situation where knowing the facts would help, while all of us involved are praying.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

and their marriage is blessed on Holy Saturday

What is colloquially called “blessing a marriage” is more technically called “convalidating a marriage.” In other words, this couple got married in the Catholic Church.

If the couple now remains only divorced civilly, but the bride decides to ask for an annulment, would the “lack of form” be an approach that the bride could use in applying for the decree of nullity?

There is no lack of form. They got married in the Catholic Church according to the rules they needed to follow.

Is a marriage like this, blessed in the Church, immune to an annulment?

No more or less immune than any other marriage among Catholics.

I ask because I had never heard of the “lack of form” and wondered if that means that a Catholic (non practicing) marrying a protestant in an Episcopal Church might be something that would meet the requirements for “lack of form.”

But that wasn’t the end of it. They convalidated their marriage so that remedied the lack of form.

And overall, the best advice for anyone dealing with marriage issues is to talk with their priest. There are always details that don’t come up in these discussions – and shouldn’t. But the priest will be in a good position to ask the right questions and provide the best advice.

 

[Ancient1]

The bride does not “choose” any approach, nor is this forum going to help you. Although it’s possible in this case Lack of Form applies, the complexity of this I doubt may be addressed definitively with your description or our collective knowledge.

The lady involved should very soon see her priest to help her complete the applications to the Marriage Tribunal for the diocese of the parish she is currently residing in. They will know what approach applies, what doesn’t, and will ask every minute detail necessary to figure it out.

You will never figure it out this way, believe me, you must go to the Tribunal. The priest cannot even say for sure, nor has he the authority.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

Lack of form is fairly straight forward. Anyone baptized Catholic must follow Canon Law

Can. 1059 Even if only one party is Catholic, the marriage of Catholics is governed not only by divine law but also by canon law, without prejudice to the competence of civil authority concerning the merely civil effects of the same marriage.

Which means it must ordinarily be witnessed by a priest or deacon. Otherwise it lacks the proper form. Convalidation provides the proper form; so a convalidated marriage cannot be declared null for lack of form. Any Decree of Nullity would require other grounds. This can only be determined by someone familiar with Tribunal processes.

 

[NewEnglandPriest]

Hi, dear friends on the forum:
If a non -practicing Catholic (the groom) marries a practicing Episcopalian( the bride) in her Episcopal Church by the Episcopal Rector of the parish, (no permission asked or arrangements made by the groom with a parish of his own)

And then the bride converts to Catholicism after a year of RCIA, (and I don’t know if the groom was ever was baptized a Catholic, but assume so, and I don’t know if he was ever confirmed. He also did not seem to attend along with his bride during RCIA and was accepted for all the world by the parish priest as a Catholic in good standing. )

and their marriage is blessed on Holy Saturday

Confirmation does not matter for this situation. Two baptized Catholics exchanged vows in front of the priest, the Church considers them to be in a sacramental marriage.

If the couple now remains only divorced civilly, but the bride decides to ask for an annulment, would the “lack of form” be an approach that the bride could use in applying for the decree of nullity?

No, lack of form does not apply since they did exchange vows in front of a priest/deacon.

Or, because the marriage was blessed upon her entrance to The Church, would her only available approach be simply beginning the process and then stating all of the above?

She needs a “full annulment.” The entire history of her relationship to her husband will be explored in that process.

Is a marriage like this, blessed in the Church, immune to an annulment?

No.

Would not the fact that a Catholic (groom) married in the Episcopal Church mean that there was a “lack of form?”

I ask because I had never heard of the “lack of form” and wondered if that means that a Catholic (non practicing) marrying a protestant in an Episcopal Church might be something that would meet the requirements for “lack of form.”

The Church considers their exchange of vows in front of the priest to be the moment their marriage became sacramental.

I have read that the “lack of form” is sometimes quicker in these cases. But also, the fact that the groom was angrily demanding a divorce for several years and in a situation where the bride experienced mental cruelty from her husband’s behavior, would those facts in themselves shorten the process?

There is no “lack of form” case here. There is no guarantee of an annulment.

 

[anp1215]

As others have said, lack of form would not apply in this situation.

The woman involved needs to think long and hard about her decisions in this matter. She can apply for an annulment, but if it is denied (which it very well could be), she must either return to her husband or remain single for the rest of her life or until he dies.

 

[Ancient1]

The woman involved needs to think long and hard about her decisions in this matter. She can apply for an annulment, but if it is denied (which it very well could be), she must either return to her husband or remain single for the rest of her life or until he dies.

That is not precisely so, rarely in life or even religion are things that cut and dried!

First of all, why not apply to the Tribunal? Get clarification on the real status of her marriage? The truth can only help. You make it sound like it’s better to remain in ignorance. Only with some decree from the Tribunal can she make further decisions.

Secondly, this husband could die, she would then be completely free to marry.

Third, if the marriage is “valid” she may still obtain a civil divorce for good reasons and even remarry and maintain a Josephite marriage, which could be blessed by the Church when her first husband dies. I know of two such cases in my own parish that were condoned by a conservative Archbishop and priest.

 

[anp1215]

That is not precisely so, rarely in life or even religion are things that cut and dried!

First of all, why not apply to the Tribunal? Get clarification on the real status of her marriage? The truth can only help. You make it sound like it’s better to remain in ignorance. Only with some decree from the Tribunal can she make further decisions.

Secondly, this husband could die, she would then be completely free to marry.

Third, if the marriage is “valid” she may still obtain a civil divorce for good reasons and even remarry and maintain a Josephite marriage, which could be blessed by the Church when her first husband dies. I know of two such cases in my own parish that were condoned by a conservative Archbishop and priest.

Living in ignorance? Sure, she could apply to the Tribunal if she wanted to. But her marriage is already assumed to be valid, so if she chose not to, she would not be “living in ignorance.”

I said that if this husband died that she was free to remarry.

As others have said, lack of form would not apply in this situation.

The woman involved needs to think long and hard about her decisions in this matter. She can apply for an annulment, but if it is denied (which it very well could be), she must either return to her husband or remain single for the rest of her life or until he dies.

The priest and Archbishop you speak of have married persons in the Catholic Church who were not free to marry under the condition that they refrain from relations unless the previous spouse dies?

 

[Corki]

Third, if the marriage is “valid” she may still obtain a civil divorce for good reasons and even remarry and maintain a Josephite marriage, which could be blessed by the Church when her first husband dies. I know of two such cases in my own parish that were condoned by a conservative Archbishop and priest.

Even if this was true, which I doubt, with her first marriage affirmed, the only option, Josephite or not, is **another **civil marriage which would have it’s own lack of form problem. They may as well just tell the couple to move in together.

 

[anp1215]

Even if this was true, which I doubt, with her first marriage affirmed, the only option, Josephite or not, is **another **civil marriage which would have it’s own lack of form problem. They may as well just tell the couple to move in together.

Right, a Josephite marriage can be allowed if the couple freely exercises the option to not engage in relations, despite having the ability to. And even then, if one of the spouses changes their mind, marital relations must resume (or begin).

A person who is married to someone else does not have the ability to exercise conjugal rights with the current “spouse.” They are not free to marry. A Catholic priest who attempts to marry such a person in the Church is…very confused.

 

[FCGeorge]

Hello Kathryn Ann,
First of all, may God bless you for your willingness and desire to help your friend. It seems that you are placing her eternal salvation above her temporary feelings and short term happiness. Rare these days, my sister!

You mention that her husband did this to her…

(and here are some additional important issues: The groom, with an escalating temper over the years, demanded a divorce over and over, exhibiting psychologically cruel behavior, continuing to demand a divorce…

Perhaps she has never mortally sinned but if she is like most of us she has likely been guilty of a few in her life. Perhaps there have been times even when she persisted in the grave sin of contraception or premarital relations or whatever.

When she truly repented of whatever sin (assuming again that she has sinned) what did her Heavenly Bridegroom’s love and forgiveness look like for her?

When/if her earthly bridegroom truly repents of his sin towards her? What will her love and forgiveness look like for him?

Why would she not want to love and forgive like she is loved and forgiven? Why would she rationalize that she will be loved and forgiven in a way that she is not willing to love and forgive?

How long would her Heavenly Bridegroom have waited for her repentance? How long will she wait for her earthly bridegroom’s repentance?

These are just some questions you could maybe consider asking her, especially if she considers herself a Christian and desires to imitate Christ.

Thank you for your willingness to help a lost soul… our Holy Father’s Lenten message actually encouraged this!!!

zenit.org/article-34255?l=english

(Please, nobody jump in with the “You just want every battered husband or wife to stay put and take their beating!!!” shriek. That is not the case at all. A separation can be morally licit. Early Church fathers even encouraged separation from an unrepentant adulterous spouse… until the spouse was repentant. Our Blessed Lord doesn’t remain in us and we in Him when we commit a mortal sin. I’m just speaking to the response that He ALWAYS gives with we are truly repentant and seek reconciliation with Him.)
Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

Hello Kathryn Ann,
First of all, may God bless you for your willingness and desire to help your friend. It seems that you are placing her eternal salvation above her temporary feelings and short term happiness. Rare these days, my sister!

…Perhaps she has never mortally sinned but if she is like most of us she has likely been guilty of a few in her life. Perhaps there have been times even when she persisted in the grave sin of contraception or premarital relations or whatever.

When she truly repented of whatever sin (assuming again that she has sinned) what did her Heavenly Bridegroom’s love and forgiveness look like for her?

When/if her earthly bridegroom truly repents of his sin towards her? What will her love and forgiveness look like for him?

Why would she not want to love and forgive like she is loved and forgiven? Why would she rationalize that she will be loved and forgiven in a way that she is not willing to love and forgive?

How long would her Heavenly Bridegroom have waited for her repentance? How long will she wait for her earthly bridegroom’s repentance?

These are just some questions you could maybe consider asking her, especially if she considers herself a Christian and desires to imitate Christ.

Thank you for your willingness to help a lost soul… our Holy Father’s Lenten message actually encouraged this!!!

zenit.org/article-34255?l=english

(Please, nobody jump in with the “You just want every battered husband or wife to stay put and take their beating!!!” shriek. That is not the case at all. A separation can be morally licit. Early Church fathers even encouraged separation from an unrepentant adulterous spouse… until the spouse was repentant. Our Blessed Lord doesn’t remain in us and we in Him when we commit a mortal sin. I’m just speaking to the response that He ALWAYS gives with we are truly repentant and seek reconciliation with Him.)
Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING

I completely agree with you, FC George, about forgiveness and I know you are not speaking in defense of innocent people putting up with battering. Your words are kind and compassionate and I thank you very much.

I think the hard part here must be that the husband is completely unrepentant. After years of demanding a divorce and then getting one, a few years have gone by and he misses the opportunity to have a victim whom he can psychologically abuse. Having witnessed several of these episodes of angry outbursts, I have become deeply saddened, indeed dismayed and shocked at how any person can seem to have an inherent need to punish an innocent spouse.

Even so, Our Heavenly Father still loves us and yearns for us to truly love one another in deed as well as declaration. We forgive, yet we go on. Here is a husband who insisted on a divorce without any grounds other than his impossible temperment, and his own perceived superiority over a wife he felt “beneath” him, despite her attempts to live up to his impossible demands.

I am inclined to think that after a time, (and it has already been a few years now,) if the husband remains unrepentant, that the young lady should consider applying to the Tribunal for an annulment. She is still young, and I would hope for her freedom to choose whether to remain single or not, only after all is brought out into the open under the authority of the Church.

One needs such wisdom in the midst of chaos. To remain forever wondering, to see that the spouse remains unrepentant and yet not to inquire about the possibility of an annulment seems a most difficult road. Having gone through an annulment myself, before entering the Church, I know the care and compassion shown the petitioner in the midst of a very confusing time.

I know Our Lord also sees her patience, her hope during those nightmarish years, where divorce was demanded of her by her cruel spouse and where she was confused, hurt and yet always continuing to pray, to insist that they both go to counseling sessions (during which he became increasingly angry) and then having no more strength or inclination to fight the demand for a separation and divorce, having had to finally acquiesce to his desire to end the marriage.

He may be sorry at some later time, but then, he has cruelly mis-treated an innocent spouse, and remains, after several years, unrepentant.

Our Lord did not wish any husband to act this way. Even Pharoah had a time limit put upon him during which he also failed to repent. Life has consequences. In this case, the person who would not “forgive” an innocent spouse is now, it seems, shocked at the very consequences he demanded.

This lack of any repentance seems to be the key. I suspect that he misses, as many psychological abusers do, the presence of someone upon whom he can point all his angst and anger. One cannot live a life walking on eggshells. In these cases, friends can only look upon the situation, seek more wisdom as you have all provided here, and pray and advise as best they can.

Unless and until one has seen a friend going through this, or has gone through this oneself, it may be unlikely to understand it fully or have much compassion. I am grateful for those here who did more than quote rules and regulations.

I can hardly comprehend the situation myself, yet my heart goes out to a friend in need. The Diocesan Tribunal, provided by Holy Church, has the wisdom and experience to fully address the situation calmly, with God’s grace.

I am very grateful for you and all those here who took the time to give their own “take” on the situation and to advise with compassion.

Many blessings,

 

[FCGeorge]

I completely agree with you, FC George, about forgiveness…

Christ’s wine of true forgiveness has been watered down by the therapeutic into the version we now have today.

It goes something like this…

One spouse gets tired of the truly bad behavior of another spouse. Let’s say that the husband gets tired of putting up with the wife’s sinful ways. The husband civilly divorces the wife.

Leaving aside for a moment whether or not the civil divorce represented an immoral offense (if there was some other way to provide the necessary protection then the civil divorce *cannot *be tolerated and does constitute an immoral offense (ccc 2383))…

The husband then quickly rationalizes that he has “forgiven” his wife when he is no longer angry or bitter with her.

This is because our modern therapeutisized version of “forgiveness” is about the “I.” Do I feel better? I am “healthier” when I feel better. * I should forgive because I* will feel better.

“Forgiveness” is now a feeling.

Is this Christ-like forgiveness?

When that husband prays the prayer our Blessed Lord taught us he should expect that it will be answered. He will be forgiven “as he forgives those who trespass against him.” Yes, even his wife… especially his wife. For he is especially commanded to love his wife as Christ loves him.

He may say, “I forgive you but no way will we ever reconcile. For I have endured your sin too long. It is time for me to move on. I have waited too long for you to change. But I do really forgive you honey!!”

He will find that the very wall he built preventing reconciliation with his earthly spouse now also prevents reconciliation with his Heavenly Spouse.

And it is better for me that a millstone be hung around my neck and I be thrown into the sea than that I were to “encourage” him to “forgive” like this.

Bryan

LOVE SO AMAZING