Lack of young Catholics

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mathematoons

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In every parish where I have ever attended Mass, there are childen and teenagers, and then there are the parents of these, and then there’s the over-50 crowd. However, I’m 28, and I never meet anyone near my age. Does anyone else in my age range experience this? If so, what do you do about it? Do you try to make friends with people of different ages or religions? Or do you forget about social circles altogether?
 
At that age, people get wrapped up daily living, work and “socializing” (e.g. leading amoral lives). Many are still touting any anti-religous baggage they may be carrying. However, the good news that many shape up and start going to mass later on in life. I should know, I was one of them. 😉
 
It is true that many people in their 20s do stray away from the Church…and it is also true that many return later in life, as the previous poster noted. That being said…in my archdiocese, at any rate, (Vancouver) many parishes have organized young adult groups that organize activities for the 20-35 crowd. Maybe contact the diocese and ask if any of the parishes have a group like this?
 
Soldier_Of_God said:
At that age, people get wrapped up daily living, work and “socializing” (e.g. leading amoral lives). Many are still touting any anti-religous baggage they may be carrying. However, the good news that many shape up and start going to mass later on in life. I should know, I was one of them. 😉
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This.
 
twf said:
It is true that many people in their 20s do stray away from the Church…and it is also true that many return later in life, as the previous poster noted. That being said…in my archdiocese, at any rate, (Vancouver) many parishes have organized young adult groups that organize activities for the 20-35 crowd. Maybe contact the diocese and ask if any of the parishes have a group like this?
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I have to agree that I was one of these as well.
 
I spent the entirety of my 20s living in college towns, so I never had that problem myself. But it is something many Catholic young adults face. You are not alone.

I don’t know of any one-size-fits-all solution (if I did, I’d have written a book and be touring the country from parish to parish selling my program :p), but there are a few things you can do.

Twf gave a good suggestion. Even if there are not many young adults in your parish, perhaps there is a parish nearby that is doing more on that front. A call to the diocesan office might help.

Also, it is possible to underestimate how many young adults are actually in a parish. There may be more there than you think. You could talk to your pastor about starting up a young adult group, even if it’s just something as simple as advertising in the bulletin to have a group trip to see some movie that’s coming out.

It’s a tough age, though. People in their 20s and early 30s can be in vastly different stages of life. I had so many friends getting married after college that at 25 I felt like the odd man out because I was still single. When the people you used to hang out with are married and starting a family, it changes things. No one wants to hang out after 8pm. 😛 That can make it difficult for the young adult crowd to connect with each other as more and more of their ranks transition into married/family life.
 
mathematoons said:
In every parish where I have ever attended Mass, there are childen and teenagers, and then there are the parents of these, and then there’s the over-50 crowd. However, I’m 28, and I never meet anyone near my age. Does anyone else in my age range experience this? If so, what do you do about it? Do you try to make friends with people of different ages or religions? Or do you forget about social circles altogether?
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I’m older than you. I live in a college community, so I do see a lot of people of various ages.

What happens at our parish, and one reason I love it so much, is that we don’t pay much attention to ages. I mean, I do understand that it’s good to have friends near your age (but “near” is relative to some degree!). But it’s also good to have friends of all ages.

For example, a group of five of us who got together a couple of months ago for an out-of-town trip included a 20 year old, a forty-something, me (in my early fifties), and a couple of sixty-somethings. When we go to lunch, a woman who is almost always with is is in her seventies. Another good friend of all of ours (including the 20-year-old) doesn’t socialize with us much outside of church because he’s taking care of his ailing wife…but he is 91.

We get into the greatest conversations, and we all care about each other.

While I understand your desire for friends of your age and hope you find a place to meet them, don’t rule out the rest. It is so enriching to have a varied group.

Going to things your church offers, such as a bible study (if they have one) or volunteering for any service activities, those kinds of things will help you meet people.

Someone earlier made a good observation as well, saying there might be more people your age than you think.
 
I’m 25 and I find the same thing, there aren’t many people in my parish who are my age. However, recently I’ve made a good Catholic friend who’s my age who I met serving food at the local soup kitchen. Try volunteering somewhere and maybe you will, too!

God bless!
 
I can’t seem to find anyone with children at all. I would love to meet some women with kids in the pre-teen to teen range.

Although I hang out with people of all ages, it would be good to make some Catholic women friends my age, who can hang out sometimes.
 
TrueLight said:
I can’t seem to find anyone with children at all. I would love to meet some women with kids in the pre-teen to teen range.

Although I hang out with people of all ages, it would be good to make some Catholic women friends my age, who can hang out sometimes.
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Can you get Father to put something in the bulletin?

Maybe start a “Marian Mom’s Meet-up” or a “Ladies Lectionary Latte?” Brew some Mystic Monk Coffee and invite Father to come in and pray and bless everyone and have a cup of Joe?

-Tim-
 
TimothyH said:
Can you get Father to put something in the bulletin?

Maybe start a “Marian Mom’s Meet-up” or a “Ladies Lectionary Latte?” Brew some Mystic Monk Coffee and invite Father to come in and pray and bless everyone and have a cup of Joe?

-Tim-
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LOL.

The women would have to come from outside the parish because there are not a lot of younger people in the parish.
 
TrueLight said:
LOL.

The women would have to come from outside the parish because there are not a lot of younger people in the parish.
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The king was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The feast is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy to come. Go out, therefore, into the main roads and invite to the feast whomever you find.’ The servants went out into the streets and gathered all they found, bad and good alike, and the hall was filled with guests. (Matthew 22:8-10)*

I don’t know why I quoted that. 🤷😃

-Tim-
 
I’m 27. The people near my age that attend Mass have children, and I don’t, so I feel it is awkward to approach them. I try and make aquaintances there with people of any age, usually other church volunteers who are in their 40s and 50s, and we sometimes go to lunch as a group.

As for friends in general I don’t have that many since I’m a quiet person.
 
mathematoons said:
In every parish where I have ever attended Mass, there are childen and teenagers, and then there are the parents of these, and then there’s the over-50 crowd. However, I’m 28, and I never meet anyone near my age. Does anyone else in my age range experience this? If so, what do you do about it? Do you try to make friends with people of different ages or religions? Or do you forget about social circles altogether?
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Early 20s here.

I’m not a super social person so I’ve never been too concerned with knowing everyone my age in my parish. That said, I am very lucky to be in a rather strong and traditional diocese. That is where the young Catholics are.

The best way to meet them is to be involved. You’ll meet 50 people of retirement age for every young Catholic you meet, but that’s just the way demographics and free time work out. Try volunteering for religious ed. I do that. Also, somewhere in your diocese is a young, very faithful priest. Get to know him. He knows who all the young, faithful Catholics are because he’s trying as hard as possible to get them in a cassock or a habit. 😉

Also, something I haven’t tried but possibly would: Theology on Tap.
 
TimothyH said:
The king was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The feast is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy to come. Go out, therefore, into the main roads and invite to the feast whomever you find.’ The servants went out into the streets and gathered all they found, bad and good alike, and the hall was filled with guests.* (Matthew 22:8-10)

I don’t know why I quoted that. 🤷😃

-Tim-
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We have an employee at our parish (on campus) who, on Saturday nights before Mass, walks up and down the street, telling everyone he meets that they are welcome to join us. 😃
 
TrueLight said:
I can’t seem to find anyone with children at all. I would love to meet some women with kids in the pre-teen to teen range.

Although I hang out with people of all ages, it would be good to make some Catholic women friends my age, who can hang out sometimes.
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I am 38, 3 boys ages 13, 11, and 8. My husband is 39 🙂 I don’t have any friends my age who are as excited about growing closer to God. It’s tough to be sure. Our priest is my age, but that is only so helpful 🙂 I can’t call him up and just chat 🙂

Kim
 
Incomplete said:
We have an employee at our parish (on campus) who, on Saturday nights before Mass, walks up and down the street, telling everyone he meets that they are welcome to join us. 😃
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Cool, but likely a little bizarre feeling to be approached by him I would think 😉
 
Being a young 28, I understand, to a degree, what you are seeking.

For me though, I always gravitated toward older people. I rarely ever had friends my own age. All but one of my past girlfriends have been older. I’ve since sworn off women until God brings one into my life, if ever.

Having attended a few weekday Masses at the OF parish, I have always been the youngest. At the FSSP parish, I’m the only one my age not married or with multiple kids- that I can tell. I don’t particularly relate to families, nor do I particularly care to be friends with them. I have a loose schedule and I get thoroughly annoyed at others’ responsibility being an excuse for breaking planned outings.

My advice is to find enjoyment and friendship in the wiser, older parishioners. They often have great advice on life, the faith, and anything else you can throw their way.

Also, seeking out others your age isn’t a bad thing. I’d inquire as to any diocese-wide groups or retreats. Heck, there could be your new best friend for life hanging out in another parish wondering the same thing.
 
When I was about 30 with two young children, I made a Christ Renews His Parish and a Cursillo. I made many friends there, and now I am 63 and still have many of the same friends. I am in a Group Reunion with women I have been sharing Christ with for close to 30 years. We have grown in our faith and love of Jesus and the Church together. God has truly blessed me.

That is one suggestion I have to make. Cursillo is still going strong in the Catholic Church, and many parishes are re-introducing parish retreats such as CHRP. Many of the people making them are in the late 20’s to 40’s age range.
 
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