Ladies: Is this true?

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RadioKid18

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Hi all,
So this question is for the ladies out there. I am a HS senior at a Catholic HS and dating what I thought was a really nice faithful girl. She is a mass goer and doesn’t have a problem with most Catholic teaching. The other night the subject of sexuality came up and she kind of shocked me. The conversation was kind of stupid but we were talking about how comfortable we would be in a locker room with a person with same sex attraction (SSA). Our HS has a pool so it is possible to be naked in a locker room if one showers. I said I use a towel to cover up and mastered the art of changing without exposing. Duh! I’m a guy. My gf on the other hand had a VERY different opinion. She said she had no problem walking around naked because girls don’t mind being naked around each other and only guys have a pervy eye (I got really annoyed with that comment). She said girls aren’t homophobic (she is against gay marriage tho) and its not uncommon for them to be “curious” about each other. Supposedly she claims it has something to do with the feminine quality of nurturing. I don’t know what that means and I didn’t ask but the “curious” part kind of concerns me. As far as the SSA goes, she said she didn’t care if a lesbian saw her and would take it as a compliment if she was eyed up by one. She wouldn’t feel violated but if a guy was in the locker room she would. I don’t get it! What is the difference? To me anyone looking at you with sexual intentions and you allowing them to do so is crossing a line. Gender doesn’t matter in that case.

RK18
 
I don’t know if it’s true for all women, but I don’t care about other females seeing me change in a locker room. Having said that, in high school all students had to shower together in same-sex groups after PE (think a pole with six shower heads around the top) - no privacy - and the guys didn’t have a problem being naked around each other either. The occasional guy who tried to slink around and change behind towels got made fun of for having something to hide.
 
“Curious” was at least a bad choice of words and if she truly thinks it is a compliment when someone (of any gender or orientation) ogles you like a piece of meat, she shows a sad lack of self-respect. I’d ask for clarification from her before leaping to that conclusion, however. I merely mean the attitude concerns me, even though it seems to be fairly prevalent. It is, after all, possible to think of yourself as a human incarnation of the Venus by Botticelli…a divine piece of artwork that anyone might find enjoyable to look at. That’s just vain.

I think it is true that women are less threatened by lesbians than men are threatened by gays. Maybe this has to do with the fact that women have a stereotype (based on some amount of truth) that rapists are men. Certainly men fear other men as rapists in a way that they do not fear sexual assault from a woman…again, the evidence of what goes on among incarcerated males indicates that this stereotype is not without some truth. So while it is uncomfortable to be looked upon with lust, it is even more uncomfortable to be looked upon by someone who could also make you a victim of a sexual crime.

But no, I would not say that women have no problem with having another woman talk about them like a piece of meat, even when those women are trying to compliment the other woman about how a man would look upon them. I think if a lesbian in a locker room made comments about another woman, it would rightly be looked upon as sexual harassment by many women, possibly most.
 
In High School I was always uncomfortable in the locker room, and now I am an old great grandmother going to the community pool, I still am uncomfortable. Some young women seem to delight in “showing it all”, I was taught to be more prudent. Does this help you in any way??? God bless
 
I agree that the word “curious” isn’t a good choice of words because it implies other things. But I think that it is true that women seem to be more comfortable around each other naked. I don’t know…I’ve never been inside a men’s locker room before.

I’ve always been a fairly modest woman. I wasn’t the kind of girl who would get totally naked in a dressing room or a locker room…but I never had an issue with other women doing so.

I went through basic training and we had to get comfortable changing and showering in front of 40 girls within the first half hour or so being in the dorms. It’s no different for either gender. You just got used to it…and quickly.
 
lazygal said:
In High School I was always uncomfortable in the locker room, and now I am an old great grandmother going to the community pool, I still am uncomfortable. Some young women seem to delight in “showing it all”, I was taught to be more prudent. Does this help you in any way??? God bless
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Yes, I’ve been in men’s locker rooms (empty of men) and noticed that they do not tend to have that certain number of “privacy showers” that women’s locker rooms do. This was a long time ago, but it is not true that women do not care what other women see them naked. Some women would rather their OB/GYN didn’t have to see them naked. If there were such a thing as a communal urinal in women’s restrooms, I think that relatively few women would use them. So no, women aren’t less private around other women than men are around other men, certainly not when it is in a group of strangers. Women on sports teams have this tendency to see each other as real or quasi-siblings, though, that is true. It is that kind of comfort, though; to put a sexual thing on it would be practically incestuous.
 
Times and feelings seem to have changed. Back in my Catholic high school days, boys had open gang showers, and girls had canvas-enclosed private shower booths. Traditionally it was males who were assumed to be much more casual about same-gender nudity, as it was expected we would also encounter it in college locker rooms, dorms, and the military. The same was true at the Catholic Summer camp I went to - owned by the diocese and staffed by seminarians. While some individuals may have been self-conscious, the social expectation at that time was “no big deal” for males.
 
God made men and women to respond differently to sexual stimuli.

I’m going to make some generalizations, and of course, there are exceptions. But for the most part…

…men are aroused by SIGHT. For men, just the sight of a female (and sometimes, just thinking about the sight of a female) is enough to turn them on. That’s why women have to be considerate of males, and not deliberately dress in a way that will make it difficult for a man to “calm down.” OTOH, for many males, it wouldn’t matter if the woman was wearing a Mrs. Santa Claus fat suit complete with a red flannel hat–many men would still be aroused by the sight of the female eyes, or the lips, or the hands–it doesn’t take much “female” sight to arouse a typical man!

Women are NOT aroused by sight. Oh yes, we enjoy seeing a handsome man with a healthy, strong body. But this doesn’t arouse us. Women are aroused by touch and by atmosphere (candlelight, soft music, flowers, pleasant scents, sweet words, etc.) This is one reason why many women are not aroused by “porn” at all, and in fact, many women are repulsed by it. Sight doesn’t arouse most of us.

So that’s probably why it usually doesn’t matter to women whether or not they are nude. They aren’t turned on by the sight of nudity, so there is no sexual “shiver” at the sight of another naked woman. I’m not even sure if a lesbian would be aroused by sight. I think many lesbians would be more aroused by touch and atmosphere than by the sight of a woman…

I personally think this ability to be comfortable with the nude female body is God-given, because women have to give birth, which requires them to expose themselves completely. Usually women do not give birth alone, but with someone, sometimes several people, to help them. In ancient times, women helped each other to give birth (and in some cultures, this is still the way it’s done). In more modern times, a medical person was present, and often that person was a man.

So it’s kind of a good thing that women are less self-conscious about their nudity.

Also, women generally do most of the childrearing, and this means that often, a child will see his mom in a state of undress; e.g., when she is going to the bathroom, or changing clothes or taking a bath. Many moms (and I was one, and so was my mom and my grandma) did not close doors when there were small children in the house, because they were on the alert for any danger to those children. Again, it’s a good thing (for the children) that many women are not unduly bothered by being nude.

Hope these comments help the OP understand us women!

And again, I know–generalizations always have exceptions.
 
Cat said:
God made men and women to respond differently to sexual stimuli.

I’m going to make some generalizations, and of course, there are exceptions. But for the most part…

…men are aroused by SIGHT. For men, just the sight of a female (and sometimes, just thinking about the sight of a female) is enough to turn them on. That’s why women have to be considerate of males, and not deliberately dress in a way that will make it difficult for a man to “calm down.” OTOH, for many males, it wouldn’t matter if the woman was wearing a Mrs. Santa Claus fat suit complete with a red flannel hat–many men would still be aroused by the sight of the female eyes, or the lips, or the hands–it doesn’t take much “female” sight to arouse a typical man!

Women are NOT aroused by sight. Oh yes, we enjoy seeing a handsome man with a healthy, strong body. But this doesn’t arouse us. Women are aroused by touch and by atmosphere (candlelight, soft music, flowers, pleasant scents, sweet words, etc.) This is one reason why many women are not aroused by “porn” at all, and in fact, many women are repulsed by it. Sight doesn’t arouse most of us.

So that’s probably why it usually doesn’t matter to women whether or not they are nude. They aren’t turned on by the sight of nudity, so there is no sexual “shiver” at the sight of another naked woman. I’m not even sure if a lesbian would be aroused by sight. I think many lesbians would be more aroused by touch and atmosphere than by the sight of a woman…

I personally think this ability to be comfortable with the nude female body is God-given, because women have to give birth, which requires them to expose themselves completely. Usually women do not give birth alone, but with someone, sometimes several people, to help them. In ancient times, women helped each other to give birth (and in some cultures, this is still the way it’s done). In more modern times, a medical person was present, and often that person was a man.

So it’s kind of a good thing that women are less self-conscious about their nudity.

Also, women generally do most of the childrearing, and this means that often, a child will see his mom in a state of undress; e.g., when she is going to the bathroom, or changing clothes or taking a bath. Many moms (and I was one, and so was my mom and my grandma) did not close doors when there were small children in the house, because they were on the alert for any danger to those children. Again, it’s a good thing (for the children) that many women are not unduly bothered by being nude.

Hope these comments help the OP understand us women!

And again, I know–generalizations always have exceptions.
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Agree 100%.

A lesbian is still not a man. We straight ladies imagine lesbians view the human body the same as we do. It can be pretty, but it’s not going to arouse us out of context.
 
Kelfa28 said:
I went through basic training and we had to get comfortable changing and showering in front of 40 girls within the first half hour or so being in the dorms. It’s no different for either gender. You just got used to it…and quickly.
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This has been my experience as well. I also had group showers after gym in HS. At this point I couldn’t careless if a woman was watching me shower.
 
Cat said:
God made men and women to respond differently to sexual stimuli.

I’m going to make some generalizations, and of course, there are exceptions. But for the most part…

…men are aroused by SIGHT. For men, just the sight of a female (and sometimes, just thinking about the sight of a female) is enough to turn them on. That’s why women have to be considerate of males, and not deliberately dress in a way that will make it difficult for a man to “calm down.” OTOH, for many males, it wouldn’t matter if the woman was wearing a Mrs. Santa Claus fat suit complete with a red flannel hat–many men would still be aroused by the sight of the female eyes, or the lips, or the hands–it doesn’t take much “female” sight to arouse a typical man!

Women are NOT aroused by sight. Oh yes, we enjoy seeing a handsome man with a healthy, strong body. But this doesn’t arouse us. Women are aroused by touch and by atmosphere (candlelight, soft music, flowers, pleasant scents, sweet words, etc.) This is one reason why many women are not aroused by “porn” at all, and in fact, many women are repulsed by it. Sight doesn’t arouse most of us.

So that’s probably why it usually doesn’t matter to women whether or not they are nude. They aren’t turned on by the sight of nudity, so there is no sexual “shiver” at the sight of another naked woman. I’m not even sure if a lesbian would be aroused by sight. I think many lesbians would be more aroused by touch and atmosphere than by the sight of a woman…

I personally think this ability to be comfortable with the nude female body is God-given, because women have to give birth, which requires them to expose themselves completely. Usually women do not give birth alone, but with someone, sometimes several people, to help them. In ancient times, women helped each other to give birth (and in some cultures, this is still the way it’s done). In more modern times, a medical person was present, and often that person was a man.

So it’s kind of a good thing that women are less self-conscious about their nudity.

Also, women generally do most of the childrearing, and this means that often, a child will see his mom in a state of undress; e.g., when she is going to the bathroom, or changing clothes or taking a bath. Many moms (and I was one, and so was my mom and my grandma) did not close doors when there were small children in the house, because they were on the alert for any danger to those children. Again, it’s a good thing (for the children) that many women are not unduly bothered by being nude.

Hope these comments help the OP understand us women!

And again, I know–generalizations always have exceptions.
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I’m not buying this. If women are not aroused by SIGHT, then why is Brad Pitt so popular? It’s not like he has directly talked to or touched any of his many drooling fans. I remember being in high school, and the girls could be very much turned on by some guy they thought was hot, a guy who’d never looked at them, let alone talked to them or touched them. The only difference was that they mentally projecting some decent dialogue into their fantasies. Being chatty instead of ready to dispense with chatter in one’s fantasies does not make someone above covetousness or arousal via the eyes.

If some woman started eyeing me and making sexual comments like I was a piece of meat, I’d be pretty upset about it. I think most women would be.
 
ShanaA1984 said:
This has been my experience as well. I also had group showers after gym in HS. At this point I couldn’t careless if a woman was watching me shower.
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Yes, well wait until you’re at the pool locker room after exercise class with the ladies who’d like to lose some weight. There is plenty of self-consciousness. Perhaps, however, this is because women mostly fear being judged by other women as unattractive to men, rather than being judged unattractive to lesbians.
 
RadioKid18 said:
As far as the SSA goes, she said she didn’t care if a lesbian saw her and would take it as a compliment if she was eyed up by one. She wouldn’t feel violated but if a guy was in the locker room she would. I don’t get it! What is the difference? To me anyone looking at you with sexual intentions and you allowing them to do so is crossing a line. Gender doesn’t matter in that case.

RK18
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It would never cross my mind to worry about a lesbian woman checking me out, and I used to change around gay and bisexual women all the time. Only one of them ever told me she found me attractive–not in the dressing room–and she was pretty shy about it. Guys behave very differently. It doesn’t feel at all the same to have a guy be attracted to you. 🤷

Oh and I’m very shy about changing in front of anyone, but changing around women makes me a million times less uncomfortable.
 
EasterJoy said:
I’m not buying this. If women are not aroused by SIGHT, then why is Brad Pitt so popular? It’s not like he has directly talked to or touched any of his many drooling fans. I remember being in high school, and the girls could be very much turned on by some guy they thought was hot, a guy who’d never looked at them, let alone talked to them or touched them. The only difference was that they mentally projecting some decent dialogue into their fantasies. Being chatty instead of ready to dispense with chatter in one’s fantasies does not make someone above covetousness or arousal via the eyes.

If some woman started eyeing me and making sexual comments like I was a piece of meat, I’d be pretty upset about it. I think most women would be.
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I think women are attracted by sight, else why would handsome men attract more women than men with fewer physical attributes. However when a man looks at an attractive woman he might well think…hmmm would like to have sex with her…I don’t mean he’d sit and actually THINK about it but this is a natural reaction. A woman who sees a handsome man generally doesn’t think well I’d like to hop into bed with him. She might think I’d like to talk to him, get to know him…and then see what happens. But I think Cat is correct. We both like “eye candy” but have a different reaction.

As to parading around in the buff, I think this is highly individualized. Our health club has private showers and most women go from the locker area to the shower with a towel wrapped around. But some just march down the hall into the showers without a stitch on. I would be horrified and not because I think some gal is perving me but it just seems so inapprorpriate. Same with our steam room. Some wear a swimsuit or a wrap and other just plop those bare cheeks on the bench…to which I think…EWWWWW!

Lisa
 
LisaA said:
I think women are attracted by sight, else why would handsome men attract more women than men with fewer physical attributes. However when a man looks at an attractive woman he might well think…hmmm would like to have sex with her…I don’t mean he’d sit and actually THINK about it but this is a natural reaction. A woman who sees a handsome man generally doesn’t think well I’d like to hop into bed with him. She might think I’d like to talk to him, get to know him…and then see what happens. But I think Cat is correct. We both like “eye candy” but have a different reaction.

As to parading around in the buff, I think this is highly individualized. Our health club has private showers and most women go from the locker area to the shower with a towel wrapped around. But some just march down the hall into the showers without a stitch on. I would be horrified and not because I think some gal is perving me but it just seems so inapprorpriate. Same with our steam room. Some wear a swimsuit or a wrap and other just plop those bare cheeks on the bench…to which I think…EWWWWW!

Lisa
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It is kind of hard to know what other people, male or female “normally” think, but if I believe what men have told me, if there are no visual stimuli available, during certain states a man’s brain will simply supply some imaginary stimuli gratuitously. So to some degree we may be talking apples and oranges.

Yeah, there is a EWWWW factor that I think–and again, this is just based on what I gather from others as the norm–women feel hesitant to violate while men are more likely to feel hesitatant to publicly admit they notice. After all, we know guys who don’t want to admit that anything at all is capable of "EWWW"ing them! To some extent, perhaps what shows up as extremes during adolescence never entirely recedes, especially in a place as intimate as a lockerrrom! 😃
 
EasterJoy said:
Yes, well wait until you’re at the pool locker room after exercise class with the ladies who’d like to lose some weight. There is plenty of self-consciousness. Perhaps, however, this is because women mostly fear being judged by other women as unattractive to men, rather than being judged unattractive to lesbians.
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I am one of those women who would like to lose some weight and I am still not bothered by it. I don’t give 2 cents what other women think of and if a guy doesn’t like me for who I am weight and all then I want nothing to do with them.
 
ShanaA1984 said:
I am one of those women who would like to lose some weight and I am still not bothered by it. I don’t give 2 cents what other women think of and if a guy doesn’t like me for who I am weight and all then I want nothing to do with them.
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That is an entirely reasonable attitude, and one that is a lot more likely to lead to a serene outlook on life! 👍
 
I think part of it is also simply physical anatomy. Most of my friends growing up were guys (I am female) and those friends were close friends. We discussed a lot of topics and the locker room came up a few times. From what I gathered, the guys were shy about nudity because they were afraid a stray thought or hormone or gust of air would give them an erection and the other boys wold think they were gay. Gals, on the other hand, wouldn’t be likely to notice if one happened to become aroused by some errant thought or hormone.

For myself, I was shy about undressing in the locker room because I am a bit overweight. But after a time I got comfortable with nudity around other women.

I have been admired by bisexual and lesbian women a time or two and that doesn’t bother me in the least. I simply explained that I am entirely heterosexual and that was that. No hard feelings on either side. If a bisexual or lesbian admires me I think 'Whoohoo, it’s nice to be appreciated!"
 
For me I was (and still am) uncomfortable changing around other girls in the locker room and heaven forbid I be naked in front of them! I mastered the art of changing quickly without being revealing (Id wear a tank top and small shorts under my clothing so no undergarments were shown) and if at any time I had to do more than a simple change Id change in the bathroom or a shower stall corner and hope no one would see me cuz there wasnt a door.

I think a lot of the girls who didnt care were all skinny or whatever. Or so my memory recalls. 🤷
 
There is a difference between being comfortable being naked around other people (when it isn’t necessary to be naked around them, I’m not talking dr’s visits here) and for it to be ok/modest to be naked around other people (same sex or not). A person here in the US can get used to being naked around others and not feel like it is a big deal, but it doesn’t mean they are being modest, it just means they have been desensitized to this type of detail of purity.
Being flattered by someone looking at you with sexual thoughts is more of a sign of vanity or insecurity than a sign of any type of virtue.

I went to schools and camps that were good Catholic ones and in each one special care was taken so that we did not have to be naked in front of each other. Little things do matter.
 
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