Ladies: Is this true?

[TheRealJuliane]

Hi all,
So this question is for the ladies out there. I am a HS senior at a Catholic HS and dating what I thought was a really nice faithful girl. She is a mass goer and doesn’t have a problem with most Catholic teaching. The other night the subject of sexuality came up and she kind of shocked me. The conversation was kind of stupid but we were talking about how comfortable we would be in a locker room with a person with same sex attraction (SSA). Our HS has a pool so it is possible to be naked in a locker room if one showers. I said I use a towel to cover up and mastered the art of changing without exposing. Duh! I’m a guy. My gf on the other hand had a VERY different opinion. She said she had no problem walking around naked because girls don’t mind being naked around each other and only guys have a pervy eye (I got really annoyed with that comment). She said girls aren’t homophobic (she is against gay marriage tho) and its not uncommon for them to be “curious” about each other. Supposedly she claims it has something to do with the feminine quality of nurturing. I don’t know what that means and I didn’t ask but the “curious” part kind of concerns me. As far as the SSA goes, she said she didn’t care if a lesbian saw her and would take it as a compliment if she was eyed up by one. She wouldn’t feel violated but if a guy was in the locker room she would. I don’t get it! What is the difference? To me anyone looking at you with sexual intentions and you allowing them to do so is crossing a line. Gender doesn’t matter in that case.

RK18

I don’t know about your GF. I know I don’t feel comfortable strutting around naked in front of anyone, other women, men, whomever. Yuk. And when I was in high school we had a lesbian PE teacher who would always manage to come into the girls’ locker room when we were in the shower. We’d post a look out who would warn us when she was coming so we could hurry up and get out ASAP because she would leer at us. Well, I say, “us,” but mostly I cut that class or came up with some excuse not to change out. I hated PE and that lesbian teacher was one of the reasons.

I think it’s strange to say that she would be complimented by being ogled by a lesbian in a locker room. Kinda creepy if you ask me.

 

[RadioKid18]

Thanks for all the replies! Couple of things:

1. If women aren’t visually enticed then why was there such a big to do about “Magic Mike.” My gf and her friends watched it several times and when us guys said we’d like to go watch a movie about a female stripper they looked stunned. We didn’t really want to but were trying to prove a point. I don’t buy that women aren’t aroused by sight. Maybe some of you aren’t but the younger generations of women seem to be. I mean no disrespect but I think older generations will have a different view point. Today’s girls seem to have no problem telling a guy he is hot and that such a guy turns them on. That would have been scandalous for my grandma to do.
2. I still don’t get the difference between a guy and a lesbian other than you can’t tell if a lesbian is aroused. Physical attraction is to someone’s body. Most men and women have a preference thus their flavor will excite them. Also, I was involved in a fine arts program last summer (not at school) where we painted a nude man and woman. The nude woman (she was attractive) did not give me an erection so I’m sort of offended at the comment that nude woman + man = sexual arousal. Not every guy is raging perv ladies despite what you have been told.
3. I have a friend from Europe that practically laughed at me when I told him of this. He said in Europe going topless is nothing and it doesn’t cause every guy on the beach to get an erection. Even more he said nude beaches and mixed sex spa’s are not uncommon either. Again, he said erections really aren’t an issue at these places and there isn’t a sexual tone to it. He said we are prudes here and our obsessing over it is more the issue than anything else. Shockingly, he also claims that sexual crimes happen half as much in Europe than they do in the US. So I guess in Europe nude is ok no matter what!
4. I asked about the “curious” terminology and I got shrugged at. All my gf said was girls like boobs as much as guys. Ok? I suspect something is up because she is vague and evasive when I try to talk about it. I have been reading more about female sexuality and I don’t like what I hear. It seems the idea of “experimentation” is quite permissible and encouraged for young women. Rather disappointing to me but I’m not surprised. God help our worlds women!

Any further thoughts?

 

[TheRealJuliane]

1. I asked about the “curious” terminology and I got shrugged at. All my gf said was girls like boobs as much as guys. Ok? I suspect something is up because she is vague and evasive when I try to talk about it. I have been reading more about female sexuality and I don’t like what I hear. It seems the idea of “experimentation” is quite permissible and encouraged for young women. Rather disappointing to me but I’m not surprised. God help our worlds women!

Any further thoughts?

Um…NOPE! I have no attraction to other women’s breasts whatsoever. And heterosexual women don’t, so what’s up with your GF? All of this lesbian experimentation that girls do these days is just pure sickness, IMO. I’d back off on this girl if I were you.

 

[JackieMom]

I worked for years in labor and delivery. I’ve seen thousands of pairs of breasts. To a straight woman, a breast might as well be a leg or a nose. Some are nicer than others but it ain’t no thing. Your “girlfriend” sounds immature.

 

[hsmomforlife]

Same with our steam room. Some wear a swimsuit or a wrap and other just plop those bare cheeks on the bench…to which I think…EWWWWW!

Lisa

And all I think about with bare cheeks on the bench is…worms! EEEEEWWW!!! Really…intestinal parasites…bluck! Keep your cheeks to yourself!

 

[FriendlyFace]

Um…NOPE! I have no attraction to other women’s breasts whatsoever. And heterosexual women don’t, so what’s up with your GF? All of this lesbian experimentation that girls do these days is just pure sickness, IMO. I’d back off on this girl if I were you.

Yeah, your girlfriend and her friends don’t sound typical to me either. I have no idea who Magic Mike is (and I don’t want to know) but I personally don’t feel any attraction to complete strangers and I’d be pretty disgusted to see anyone-- male or female-- stripping. It’s not consistent with human dignity.

 

[RadioKid18]

Yeah, your girlfriend and her friends don’t sound typical to me either. I have no idea who Magic Mike is (and I don’t want to know) but I personally don’t feel any attraction to complete strangers and I’d be pretty disgusted to see anyone-- male or female-- stripping. It’s not consistent with human dignity.

It was a movie starring Channing Tatum and his early life as a male stripper. I’m glad to meet a lady that isn’t all sketch about that movie. Seriously, after seeing how my gf and her friends acted towards it I can totally relate to the disgust women get when guys oogle at strippers. It’s like willfully becoming a zombie someone else controls. Rather disturbing and glad I don’t hang around guys that think that way.

Um…NOPE! I have no attraction to other women’s breasts whatsoever. And heterosexual women don’t, so what’s up with your GF? All of this lesbian experimentation that girls do these days is just pure sickness, IMO. I’d back off on this girl if I were you.

I don’t know what’s up with her. That is why I came here lol! I have to say that this weeks “revelations” have really made me go cold on her. I’m confused as anything but I don’t want to be a jerk and cut her loose if I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill here. It’s really odd though that she is being vague and sketch. I feel as though she is holding something back. We used to be open about serious issues but this seems to be a brick wall.

 

[LisaA]

Um…NOPE! I have no attraction to other women’s breasts whatsoever. And heterosexual women don’t, so what’s up with your GF? All of this lesbian experimentation that girls do these days is just pure sickness, IMO. I’d back off on this girl if I were you.

EEEWW me either! I honestly don’t like watching women parade around the locker room without a towel. I’m certainly not ogling other women’s bodies, in fact if someone is in my section dressing I’m always careful to look down or away as I’m heading to my locker.

I have to wonder if all of the media attention when Madonna and that other woman did a big gooby kiss and all of the Lesbian activism makes younger women want to experiment or do a little sex play because they think it’s exciting and edgy not because they are actually attracted to other females. This is new… I always had very close girlfriends and we’d have slumber parties but no one even suggested anything even remotely sexual.

Lisa

 

[Viki63]

Thanks for all the replies! Couple of things:

1. If women aren’t visually enticed then why was there such a big to do about “Magic Mike.” My gf and her friends watched it several times.

I like Channing Tatum’s work (the Eagle, the Vow) but chose not to see Magic Mike, knowing the subject matter. I can’t see how any “nice faithful mass-attending girl” would knowingly go to that movie, much less several times.
Red flag.

 

[holyrood]

She said she had no problem walking around naked because girls don’t mind being naked around each other and only guys have a pervy eye (I got really annoyed with that comment). She said girls aren’t homophobic (she is against gay marriage tho) and its not uncommon for them to be “curious” about each other. Supposedly she claims it has something to do with the feminine quality of nurturing. I don’t know what that means and I didn’t ask but the “curious” part kind of concerns me. As far as the SSA goes, she said she didn’t care if a lesbian saw her and would take it as a compliment if she was eyed up by one. She wouldn’t feel violated but if a guy was in the locker room she would. I don’t get it! What is the difference? To me anyone looking at you with sexual intentions and you allowing them to do so is crossing a line. Gender doesn’t matter in that case.

RK18

No, all girls and women don’t feel this way. I was not at all comfortable having to shower with other women in boot camp. I would not like a woman eyeing me up any more than having a man come in the shower and eye me up with the same intentions. I agree with you–what’s the difference?

 

[Kamaduck]

High school senior here, throwing in my 2¢.

She said she had no problem walking around naked because girls don’t mind being naked around each other and only guys have a pervy eye (I got really annoyed with that comment). She said girls aren’t homophobic (she is against gay marriage tho) and its not uncommon for them to be “curious” about each other. Supposedly she claims it has something to do with the feminine quality of nurturing. I don’t know what that means and I didn’t ask but the “curious” part kind of concerns me. As far as the SSA goes, she said she didn’t care if a lesbian saw her and would take it as a compliment if she was eyed up by one. She wouldn’t feel violated but if a guy was in the locker room she would. I don’t get it! What is the difference? To me anyone looking at you with sexual intentions and you allowing them to do so is crossing a line. Gender doesn’t matter in that case.

Personally, I do not like anyone to see me naked. I get self-conscious. However, I would not be any more uncomfortable around a lesbian than I would be around a straight girl, provided neither was disrespectful. It’s completely different than being naked in front of a guy would be. I would be afraid in front of a guy. I would be much less afraid that the lesbian would harass or assault me. I certainly wouldn’t take it as a compliment if she were staring, but I’d be WAY less uncomfortable and scared than if she were a guy.

Thanks for all the replies! Couple of things:

1. If women aren’t visually enticed then why was there such a big to do about “Magic Mike.” My gf and her friends watched it several times and when us guys said we’d like to go watch a movie about a female stripper they looked stunned. We didn’t really want to but were trying to prove a point. I don’t buy that women aren’t aroused by sight. Maybe some of you aren’t but the younger generations of women seem to be. I mean no disrespect but I think older generations will have a different view point. Today’s girls seem to have no problem telling a guy he is hot and that such a guy turns them on. That would have been scandalous for my grandma to do.

We’re dealing in generalities. It’s not that girls don’t find men’s bodies attractive, it’s just that personality usually matters a bit more.

I don’t actually know what movie you’re talking about, but based on some of the other replies, it sounds pretty bad that your girlfriend decided to see it so many times.

1. I still don’t get the difference between a guy and a lesbian other than you can’t tell if a lesbian is aroused. Physical attraction is to someone’s body. Most men and women have a preference thus their flavor will excite them. Also, I was involved in a fine arts program last summer (not at school) where we painted a nude man and woman. The nude woman (she was attractive) did not give me an erection so I’m sort of offended at the comment that nude woman + man = sexual arousal. Not every guy is raging perv ladies despite what you have been told.

For me, it’s just fear. I understand that guys are not all “pervs”, but the power dynamic is completely different if the person ogling you is another woman. Women do not have the same kind of power here. I am confident that I can defend myself from other high-school-aged girls.

1. I have a friend from Europe that practically laughed at me when I told him of this. He said in Europe going topless is nothing and it doesn’t cause every guy on the beach to get an erection. Even more he said nude beaches and mixed sex spa’s are not uncommon either. Again, he said erections really aren’t an issue at these places and there isn’t a sexual tone to it. He said we are prudes here and our obsessing over it is more the issue than anything else. Shockingly, he also claims that sexual crimes happen half as much in Europe than they do in the US. So I guess in Europe nude is ok no matter what!

I’m not sure he’s right that that they happen half as much, but Europe is culturally different than the US.

1. I asked about the “curious” terminology and I got shrugged at. All my gf said was girls like boobs as much as guys. Ok? I suspect something is up because she is vague and evasive when I try to talk about it. I have been reading more about female sexuality and I don’t like what I hear. It seems the idea of “experimentation” is quite permissible and encouraged for young women. Rather disappointing to me but I’m not surprised. God help our worlds women!

Meh. Either she’s bisexual or she’s simply saying that we are aware of them. I am, anyway. I keep looking at them, even if I try not to. I’m just so used to the idea that men judge us by how our breasts look. I try not to stare, but it’s hard not to compare myself to other people.

And sometimes I’ve just seen a sexualized ad and need to remind myself of what people actually look like.

 

[CradleJourney]

While I agree everyone is different, I also agree most men are physically aroused by sight, while most women, while they may be attracted to someone, are not necessarily aroused by it.

Also, to me, there is a difference between being possibly seen by a lesbian who might think lustful thoughts about me, who (knowing I’m not attracted to women) wouldn’t make an issue of it and I’d never even know about it, versus being possibly seen by a male who might think lustful thoughts about me, and sets out to woo/seduce/stalk/harass me, etc - or even just make insulting remarks. Thus, I have no problem quickly and calmly changing in a women’s locker room.

Add in cultural conditioning to that as well - if I show my body to a man (outside medical or art situations) in this society most everyone would agree that I was enticing/inviting him aka “asking” for it. Not so if I simply change in front of a woman.

 

[Cat]

I’m not buying this. If women are not aroused by SIGHT, then why is Brad Pitt so popular? It’s not like he has directly talked to or touched any of his many drooling fans. I remember being in high school, and the girls could be very much turned on by some guy they thought was hot, a guy who’d never looked at them, let alone talked to them or touched them. The only difference was that they mentally projecting some decent dialogue into their fantasies. Being chatty instead of ready to dispense with chatter in one’s fantasies does not make someone above covetousness or arousal via the eyes.

If some woman started eyeing me and making sexual comments like I was a piece of meat, I’d be pretty upset about it. I think most women would be.

Brad Pitt is popular, yes, and women sigh and moon over him (he’s not my cup of tea–I love Robert Patrick, the Terminator, etc.).

But generally speaking, we women don’t get sexually aroused by the sight of him or the sight of any man. I’m talking about physical arousal.

A healthy man will see a picture of a lovely actress and start getting an erection. He will see a woman, a perfect stranger, walking down the street, and start getting an erection. He will go to the beach and struggle to keep from having a constant erection. He will see his wife and start getting an erection. That’s the way God made men, and there’s nothing wrong or sinful about it.

All a healthy man has to do is SEE his wife in a sexy negligee, and he is aroused and ready for action within a minute a two. (Older men will take a little longer.)

I see my husband and I love him, and if he starts whispering sweet words to me and embracing and kissing me, I will start to get aroused, and within about 10-20 minutes, I will be ready for action.

But I don’t get aroused at the sight of him, or any man, including my favorite movie stars and athletes. Yes, my husband and all those men are attractive to me, and I admire their masculine good looks and their muscles and eyes and hair, etc.–but I don’t get physically aroused at the sight of them. That’s the way God made women.

I think that’s why most women are more comfortable with group nudity than men are. We aren’t physically aroused by sight, and men are.

 

[Cat]

Thanks for all the replies! Couple of things:

1. If women aren’t visually enticed then why was there such a big to do about “Magic Mike.” My gf and her friends watched it several times and when us guys said we’d like to go watch a movie about a female stripper they looked stunned. We didn’t really want to but were trying to prove a point. I don’t buy that women aren’t aroused by sight. Maybe some of you aren’t but the younger generations of women seem to be. I mean no disrespect but I think older generations will have a different view point. Today’s girls seem to have no problem telling a guy he is hot and that such a guy turns them on. That would have been scandalous for my grandma to do.
2. I still don’t get the difference between a guy and a lesbian other than you can’t tell if a lesbian is aroused. Physical attraction is to someone’s body. Most men and women have a preference thus their flavor will excite them. Also, I was involved in a fine arts program last summer (not at school) where we painted a nude man and woman. The nude woman (she was attractive) did not give me an erection so I’m sort of offended at the comment that nude woman + man = sexual arousal. Not every guy is raging perv ladies despite what you have been told.
3. I have a friend from Europe that practically laughed at me when I told him of this. He said in Europe going topless is nothing and it doesn’t cause every guy on the beach to get an erection. Even more he said nude beaches and mixed sex spa’s are not uncommon either. Again, he said erections really aren’t an issue at these places and there isn’t a sexual tone to it. He said we are prudes here and our obsessing over it is more the issue than anything else. Shockingly, he also claims that sexual crimes happen half as much in Europe than they do in the US. So I guess in Europe nude is ok no matter what!
4. I asked about the “curious” terminology and I got shrugged at. All my gf said was girls like boobs as much as guys. Ok? I suspect something is up because she is vague and evasive when I try to talk about it. I have been reading more about female sexuality and I don’t like what I hear. It seems the idea of “experimentation” is quite permissible and encouraged for young women. Rather disappointing to me but I’m not surprised. God help our worlds women!

Any further thoughts?

RadioKid18, someday when you are married–you will discover that even if you are a demigod of physicality, with a ripped muscular body, a full head of hair, sparkling eyes, white teeth, and a smile that could melt ice–you will discover that your body and face alone won’t be enough to arouse your wife. She will be “attracted to” you, yes, and find you appealing. But if you try making love to her after just presenting yourself in all your handsomeness, and doing a little “striptease,” she will shake her head and say, “I’m not ready yet!”

Arousal for a woman requires time (most of the time–it depends on what phase of her cycle she is in). It doesn’t happen just because she sees an attractive man. The physical traits of female arousal happen because of foreplay and atmosphere, and it usually takes 10-20 minutes–more for some women.

BTW, I’m not making this up. This was part of Glamour Magazine sex survey just a few months ago! Glamour Magazine is about as secular as you can get, so I’m not talking about Christian women who are often more modest than other women and would have little to no interest in Magic Mike, 50 Shades, etc… I’m talking about the secular women who would be interested in Magic Mike, etc.–and these secular women say that it takes about 20 minutes to be “ready,” and that it’s not “sight,” but “touch,” “atmosphere,” etc.

Someday, RadioKid18, you will remember this post and thank this old lady for really good advice!

 

[RadioKid18]

Brad Pitt is popular, yes, and women sigh and moon over him (he’s not my cup of tea–I love Robert Patrick, the Terminator, etc.).

But generally speaking, we women don’t get sexually aroused by the sight of him or the sight of any man. I’m talking about physical arousal.

A healthy man will see a picture of a lovely actress and start getting an erection. He will see a woman, a perfect stranger, walking down the street, and start getting an erection. He will go to the beach and struggle to keep from having a constant erection. He will see his wife and start getting an erection. That’s the way God made men, and there’s nothing wrong or sinful about it.

All a healthy man has to do is SEE his wife in a sexy negligee, and he is aroused and ready for action within a minute a two. (Older men will take a little longer.)

I see my husband and I love him, and if he starts whispering sweet words to me and embracing and kissing me, I will start to get aroused, and within about 10-20 minutes, I will be ready for action.

But I don’t get aroused at the sight of him, or any man, including my favorite movie stars and athletes. Yes, my husband and all those men are attractive to me, and I admire their masculine good looks and their muscles and eyes and hair, etc.–but I don’t get physically aroused at the sight of them. That’s the way God made women.

I think that’s why most women are more comfortable with group nudity than men are. We aren’t physically aroused by sight, and men are.

I emphatically disagree with the idea that if a man sees an attractive woman he immediately gets an erections. I’ve been to the beach and seen VERY attractive girls in almost nothing. I did not get an erection. I see attractive girls all the time and do not loose my mind. I have also painted a nude man and woman in a fine arts camp and no erection. Also, as my friend from Europe said, nude / topless beaches are popular there and guys do not walk around sporting an erection.

Your claims about men make it sound like we are shallow and lack self-control. Some guys do but most don’t. Maybe in your generation b/c of the female body taboo things worked like that but not in my generation. If we responded as you claim we would be walking around with erections daily. It would be the norm.

 

[Debora123]

I personally don’t like anyone (except my husband) seeing me naked… whether it’s a guy or a girl. With that being said, I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority. Either way, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal and find it quite petty that you’re so worried about your gf being ok with being seen nude by other women in a women’s locker room. There’s really nothing wrong with that.

 

[Debora123]

“Curious” was at least a bad choice of words and if she truly thinks it is a compliment when someone (of any gender or orientation) ogles you like a piece of meat, she shows a sad lack of self-respect.

I would have to disagree with this. Just because someone looks at you and finds you attractive doesn’t mean they’re seeing you as a piece of meat or some object to be used and discarded. Neither is it wrong to appreciate it and feel good when someone finds us physically attractive.

Heck if none of us ever found each other physically attractive, I’m not sure our species would still be here…

 

[Debora123]

I emphatically disagree with the idea that if a man sees an attractive woman he immediately gets an erections. I’ve been to the beach and seen VERY attractive girls in almost nothing. I did not get an erection. I see attractive girls all the time and do not loose my mind. I have also painted a nude man and woman in a fine arts camp and no erection. Also, as my friend from Europe said, nude / topless beaches are popular there and guys do not walk around sporting an erection.

Your claims about men make it sound like we are shallow and lack self-control. Some guys do but most don’t. Maybe in your generation b/c of the female body taboo things worked like that but not in my generation. If we responded as you claim we would be walking around with erections daily. It would be the norm.

Thank you so much for saying this. There seems to be a sentiment around here on CAF that a guy is going to lust and lose control every time he sees female skin.

I grew up around the beach and I can also say that men do not walk around with erections and constantly drooling over the very attractive women in bikinis all around them.

We all need to give men a little more credit here…

 

[RadioKid18]

I personally don’t like anyone (except my husband) seeing me naked… whether it’s a guy or a girl. With that being said, I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority. Either way, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal and find it quite petty that you’re so worried about your gf being ok with being seen nude by other women in a women’s locker room. There’s really nothing wrong with that.

Please allow me to clarify. What has me worried is that she is being sketch about this whole thing like she is hiding something. Someone above suggested she may have bisexual feelings and unlike many guys I consider cheating to be cheating no matter who it is with. In my generation the word “curious” implies sexual curiosity. When I (in a non-confrontational way) asked by gf about this she was evasive of my question.

Thank you so much for saying this. There seems to be a sentiment around here on CAF that a guy is going to lust and lose control every time he sees female skin.

I grew up around the beach and I can also say that men do not walk around with erections and constantly drooling over the very attractive women in bikinis all around them.

We all need to give men a little more credit here…

You are welcome! It really is true that some people think female skin to men is like honey to bees. Personally I don’t know any physically unattractive women. I guess it is like who notices the trees after being in a forest for awhile? The women / girls I know may not all be the societal ideal of “attractive” but they are beautiful to me. To me the only thing that can really make a woman unattractive is her attitude / personality. There is one girl in my class that could be a model but she is soooooo snobby and gossipy that I would never date her even if she pleaded with me to go out with her. Look at what Taylor Swift does to all her ex-bfs! She writes songs about how awful they are! I find her attractive but I would NEVER date her yuck!

 

[Kamaduck]

Please allow me to clarify. What has me worried is that she is being sketch about this whole thing like she is hiding something. Someone above suggested she may have bisexual feelings and unlike many guys I consider cheating to be cheating no matter who it is with. In my generation the word “curious” implies sexual curiosity. When I (in a non-confrontational way) asked by gf about this she was evasive of my question.

Even if she is bisexual/has some SSA, that doesn’t mean she’s cheating on you. It’s not “cheating” to change in front of someone in a locker room. It’s a locker room. Changing is what you do there. If there happen to be lesbians around, you may still need to change.

Now, if you think she is experimenting with other girls, that would be cheating. But she may just be embarrassed about possibly having SSA.

It’s possible that she’s not sure whether she has bisexual feelings or not. Maybe that’s why she used the word “curious”?

I’m just guessing here. Like I said, she could just be saying that she’s aware of how the girls around her look. I know I’ve been there.