Ladies

[realtiger]

I want to be able to love someone but I don’t know if this is true love or impurity Ladies that’s why I need your help.

Let’s say you were in a terrible situation (or lets even say you had an evil spirit) and your husband or lover told you "babe i would love if you were a stripper if you turned to drugs,I don’t care if you one day become Peg Bundy from Married with Children or if you turned to be materialistic and ditsy and utterly cold woman. I dont care if you were worse than the cast of the Real Housewives of New Jersey I would still be the luckiest man in all the land if I were to be with you. I don’t care if you were the most miserable and immoral woman I in the world would never regret marrrying you.

Let’s say you are a professional and your husband doesn’t care if you are his obese lunchlady that chain smokes before and after serving children the food.

What would you say? Would you think he is “creeping” you out? Turning you off? Or do you think he is letting his wife take advantage of him?

Would this turn you off for a man to say this or more importantly think this way about a woman he loves? what would then be the Catholic teaching of this? Is this chastity?

I need some (name removed by moderator)ut from men too.

 

[EasterJoy]

“St. John Chrysostom suggests that young husbands should say to their wives: I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us… I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you.” (§ 2365 Catechism of the Catholic Church)

You are wording this all wrong.

It absolutely* must* matter to you that your bride might turn out to be a "materialistic and ditsy and utterly cold woman, “worse than the cast of the Real Housewives of New Jersey” or “the most miserable and immoral woman in the world.”

You must want your wife to be happy, you must ardently want her to be holy. That means it will matter profoundly that she not become any of those things you listed, if only because you care about giving her the best life possible. Therefore, you will want to say, “I intend to stick with you and help you to be the best you can be, no matter what you do that sets you back from that.” If that freaks her out, keep looking.

Do not promise that you will never leave. Sometimes, the welfare of the wayward spouse requires it, and sometimes the wayward spouse poses a threat to the innocent spouse or their children. You must be willing to leave if moral imperative requires you.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

Tobit is a traditional reading for wedding because it addresses this issue:

When they had finished eating and drinking, they wanted to retire. So they brought the young man out and led him to the bedroom.
2
Tobiah, mindful of Raphael’s instructions, took the fish’s liver and heart from the bag where he had them, and put them on the embers intended for incense.*
3
The odor of the fish repulsed the demon, and it fled to the upper regions of Egypt;* Raphael went in pursuit of it and there bound it hand and foot. Then Raphael returned immediately.

4
When Sarah’s parents left the bedroom and closed the door behind them, Tobiah rose from bed and said to his wife, “My sister, come, let us pray and beg our Lord to grant us mercy and protection.”
5
She got up, and they started to pray and beg that they might be protected. He began with these words:
“Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors;
blessed be your name forever and ever!
Let the heavens and all your creation bless you forever.a
6
You made Adam, and you made his wife Eve
to be his helper and support;
and from these two the human race has come.
You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone;
let us make him a helper like himself.’b
7
Now, not with lust,
but with fidelity I take this kinswoman as my wife.
Send down your mercy on me and on her,
and grant that we may grow old together.
Bless us with children.”

8
They said together, “Amen, amen!”
9
Then they went to bed for the night.

 

[tabycat]

Sounds like the guy in the OP should be dumped as quick as possable!

 

[fpt]

I want to be able to love someone but I don’t know if this is true love or impurity Ladies that’s why I need your help.

Let’s say you were in a terrible situation (or lets even say you had an evil spirit) and your husband or lover told you "babe i would love if you were a stripper if you turned to drugs,I don’t care if you one day become Peg Bundy from Married with Children or if you turned to be materialistic and ditsy and utterly cold woman. I dont care if you were worse than the cast of the Real Housewives of New Jersey I would still be the luckiest man in all the land if I were to be with you. I don’t care if you were the most miserable and immoral woman I in the world would never regret marrrying you.

Let’s say you are a professional and your husband doesn’t care if you are his obese lunchlady that chain smokes before and after serving children the food.

What would you say? Would you think he is “creeping” you out? Turning you off? Or do you think he is letting his wife take advantage of him?

Would this turn you off for a man to say this or more importantly think this way about a woman he loves? what would then be the Catholic teaching of this? Is this chastity?

I need some (name removed by moderator)ut from men too.

The man is or should be to be the " New Adam of his wife" and the " Holy Beloved of his wife" , I mean:

the Male, the Fiancé, the Bridegroom, the Sweetheart, the Love, the Lover, the Beloved, the Companion, the Friend, the Best friend, the Boy-friend, the Helper, the Soul-Mate, the Companion, the Partner, the Associate, the Husband and the potential Father, the Educator, the Teacher, the Professor, the Thinker, the Philosopher, the Master, the Mentor, the Follower, the Thinker, the Philosopher, the Schoolboy, the Pupil, the Student, the Male Opposite Number, the Alterity, the Complementarity, The Prince, The King, the Doctor, the Nurse, the Guide of his Wife, and The Person who reveals in her, her part of masculinity and helps her feminity.

Husband is the teacher of the sexuality of his wife, he is also the professor of the sexuality of his wife, and then he is the doctor, and the lovable master of the sexuality of his wife.

Thus, at each mission, or state of life its corollary.

 

[TrixieMcGee]

If my husband said something like this (seriously, not jokingly) it would seriously creep me out. This would have creeped me out way way more if someone I was just dating or even engaged to said this. I want a man to love me for me, but I don’t understand why a man would choose to a woman who is any of those things and if his spouse started doing or becoming any of these things I would hope that he would try to get her into counseling or if need be separate himself from her for his own good and protection. That wouldn’t necessarily change his love for her, but he needs to do what is best for the situation.

Now I am thinking that the OP is probably in a relationship (it doesn’t seem like marriage to me, but I could be wrong) with a woman who has some serious issues. If you aren’t married, it is probably best to run and get out of that situation. If you are married, you need to get that woman some counseling or something.

If she doesn’t have any issues and for some reason you just want to display that you love that person unconditionally, saying something like that is not a good way to do it. It will just serve to creep her out and possibly scare her away. Now if you are thinking this way about this woman and you aren’t married to her, you may have an unhealthy attachment as opposed to a normal healthy relationship. If you are married it is admirable that you would stand by your spouse, but you would need to get them help if you love them.