Ladies...

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Every woman is a rule unto herself.

If I’ve ever made a mistake about understanding women it was by asking other women for advice on things to do for my wife.

Just be yourself. Some women are very forward. Some are shy. Some women are just plain screwy.

Women that I’ve encountered that were interested in me have tried the following approaches:

Acted interested in my hobbies. Expressed an interest to come along.

Didn’t let on about anything for years. I never had a clue she was interested in me. Then a couple months before graduation I started getting mysterious letters. Nothing disgusting, rather sweet actually, but obviously she was interested. I forgot how she went about letting me know who the author of the letters were.

Didn’t want to say good bye. Started to find lame excuses to part. Skip a class to study with me type of thing…

This one is really common - they’ll let you know through a friend. I’ve had numerous talks with an old buddy who will ask me, “did you ever notice so-n-so?” or “What do you think of so-n-so?” I’ve also played the disinterested third party for several friends.

One, I was certain we had something going. Then woosh! cold shower. She showed no interest in me for months. Then later I get a letter telling me how I had swept her off her feet.

Some women have made a suggestion at a date. It’s kind of hard to explain it. They said something like they would LOVE to see such-n-such movie, or go to someplace. They leave it hanging there in front of you as if they are helpless to buy their own ticket and go see it for themselves.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane… It’s been a while - just celebrated my 13th anniversary so I’ve been outa the loop.
 
Black_Jaque said:
Every woman is a rule unto herself.

If I’ve ever made a mistake about understanding women it was by asking other women for advice on things to do for my wife.

Just be yourself. Some women are very forward. Some are shy. Some women are just plain screwy.

Women that I’ve encountered that were interested in me have tried the following approaches:

Acted interested in my hobbies. Expressed an interest to come along.

Didn’t let on about anything for years. I never had a clue she was interested in me. Then a couple months before graduation I started getting mysterious letters. Nothing disgusting, rather sweet actually, but obviously she was interested. I forgot how she went about letting me know who the author of the letters were.

Didn’t want to say good bye. Started to find lame excuses to part. Skip a class to study with me type of thing…

This one is really common - they’ll let you know through a friend. I’ve had numerous talks with an old buddy who will ask me, “did you ever notice so-n-so?” or “What do you think of so-n-so?” I’ve also played the disinterested third party for several friends.

One, I was certain we had something going. Then woosh! cold shower. She showed no interest in me for months. Then later I get a letter telling me how I had swept her off her feet.

Some women have made a suggestion at a date. It’s kind of hard to explain it. They said something like they would LOVE to see such-n-such movie, or go to someplace. They leave it hanging there in front of you as if they are helpless to buy their own ticket and go see it for themselves.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane… It’s been a while - just celebrated my 13th anniversary so I’ve been outa the loop.
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Excellent insights Black Jacque but in the interest of fairness Every Man is a rule unto himself as well.
 
Ok. But I don’t know why being fair was necessary. Was what I said somehow insulting to women? That each is a rule unto herself - in other words they’re individuals and ought to be treated as such.

I just don’t gather that women have the same confusion trying to understand men. If anything they lament our transparency.
 
Black_Jaque said:
Ok. But I don’t know why being fair was necessary. Was what I said somehow insulting to women? That each is a rule unto herself - in other words they’re individuals and ought to be treated as such.

I just don’t gather that women have the same confusion trying to understand men. If anything they lament our transparency.
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No of course you weren’t being insulting but I just wanted to give some perspective that just men are as unique as women are.
 
Black_Jaque said:
Ok. But I don’t know why being fair was necessary. Was what I said somehow insulting to women? That each is a rule unto herself - in other words they’re individuals and ought to be treated as such.

I just don’t gather that women have the same confusion trying to understand men. If anything they lament our transparency.
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I would say women find men confusing, to a degree…I think as a woman, I find my husband confusing at times. He finds me more confusing, that’s all.😃
 
childofmary1143 said:
What signs can a woman give that she is romantically** interested** in another man?
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When I like a man, I notice that I smile whole lot more. Although, tend to smile a lot to practically everyone…but when I like someone (romantically), the smile becomes “molar to molar”.😃

My walk becomes “bouncy-er”. My voice lilts a lot in his presence. Really not the same as when I am discussing the weather with a friend. 🙂

Although telling or writing to the guy directly that I like him is something I am not comfortable doing (good for the women who have more guts 🙂 ) , I just let the guy pick up on the many cues I send his way.
 
Just plant one on him. At that point, even I can figure out that you’re interested in me…
 
Hmmmm…I’m thinking back to when I first met my man 😃 . He was going on an overseas vacation and I started asking him about it. We started talking about it endlessly. There was tons of eye contact (that I usually don’t give).
We started texting each other CONSTANTLY.
He let me talk about Catholicism all the time (with geniune interest on his part)

Thinking back on it, I had mentioned to him the amount of eye contact I gave him that obviously showed my interest.
He had no clue 🤷 , for him our eye contact wasn’t more than ordinary people give each other.

So I can see how some things that are so obvious to one gender, aren’t completely obvious to the other.
🙂
 
childofmary1143 said:
I am asking you Women what ‘intentional’ signs that you (women) consciously may give to let a man know that you are romantically interested in him.
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Well, I’m married now, BUT, it wasn’t so long ago that I was playing the “dating game.”

I’m assuming we’re talking about an environment where mingling/talking are commonplace, such as an office, bar, club or party.

When I was interested in a guy, I would talk to him, ask questions, smile a lot, laugh at his jokes, and maybe drop him a compliment or two. If he asked me for my number or mentioned going to dinner sometime, I knew he reciprocated my interest–whether or not he followed through was his problem, not mine. If not, I would move on.

Now, if I was dealing with a persistent guy that I was NOT interested in dating, I would keep my answers very short–mostly “yes” or “no” without room for elaboration. At the earliest break in conversation, I would excuse myself for the ladies room, go there, fix my make up, and find a friend to talk to, and usually the guy takes the hint. I’ve very rarely had to say, “I’m sorry, I’m just not interested.” It has happened though, and I’ve simply stated that I had my eye on someone else and usually that does the trick.
 
MCGar said:
{Snip}.

So I can see how some things that are so obvious to one gender, aren’t completely obvious to the other.
🙂
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I would put it slightly differently: ladies, we don’t have a clue at all!!!

Your best method of communicating? Try a brick upside the head. Anything else, and we’ll just think to ourselves, “Gee, I wonder whether she’s interested?” (Or, worse, conclude that she isn’t).

I’ve been given home-baked goodies made especially for me and brought to my house in a special trip without any other reason for her bringing them to me – no special occasion, “Just thinking of you” … and not realized she was interested.

More than once.

MEN DON’T GET SUBTLE HINTS!!!
 
Too funny! Who knew men were that clueless? 😃 We’ve been giving you WAAAY more credit than that!
 
Liberanosamalo said:
Too funny! Who knew men were that clueless? 😃 We’ve been giving you WAAAY more credit than that!
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Yeah, that’s why the women’s discussions about men usually fail to elicit helpful advice.

“He said he was tired. Why did he say that? What was he trying to tell me?”
“Maybe he didn’t like your outfit.”
“You think I looked fat in it?”
“I don’t, but he might have. Or maybe something else happened that day. What other things happened?”
“Well, I left the dog biscuits at home.”
“Ouch! You know he loves that dog.”
“So he was mad at me for forgetting the dog biscuits! And that’s why he said he was tired, to retaliate at me! That makes sense!”

No, it doesn’t! He said he was tired because HE WAS TIRED!!! There was no subtle subtext going on at all! And it works in reverse, too:

Man (Entering, stage left): “Hi, honey!”
Woman (seated, stage right, quietly): “Hi.”
Man (looking concerned): “Um, is something wrong?”
Woman (eyes flicking to him, then to Man’s muddy work boots left on the carpet prominently in the middle of the room, then back to him; lips pressed firmly together in a thin line; arms folded in front of her; body language radiating anger): “No.”
Man (picking up the paper): “Oh, okay. You want to catch a movie tonight?”
Woman (rising, tears dripping from eyes): “No! I hate you!” (Woman exits, stage right).
Man (quizzical look on his face, pauses, then sits down in Woman’s chair and picks up the remote, turning on the tv): “Huh. I wonder what that was all about.”

And the sad thing is, he really doesn’t realize what the problem is. Yup, we’re clueless.
 
Godfollower said:
Yeah, that’s why the women’s discussions about men usually fail to elicit helpful advice.

“He said he was tired. Why did he say that? What was he trying to tell me?”
“Maybe he didn’t like your outfit.”
“You think I looked fat in it?”
“I don’t, but he might have. Or maybe something else happened that day. What other things happened?”
“Well, I left the dog biscuits at home.”
“Ouch! You know he loves that dog.”
“So he was mad at me for forgetting the dog biscuits! And that’s why he said he was tired, to retaliate at me! That makes sense!”

No, it doesn’t! He said he was tired because HE WAS TIRED!!! There was no subtle subtext going on at all! And it works in reverse, too:

Man (Entering, stage left): “Hi, honey!”
Woman (seated, stage right, quietly): “Hi.”
Man (looking concerned): “Um, is something wrong?”
Woman (eyes flicking to him, then to Man’s muddy work boots left on the carpet prominently in the middle of the room, then back to him; lips pressed firmly together in a thin line; arms folded in front of her; body language radiating anger): “No.”
Man (picking up the paper): “Oh, okay. You want to catch a movie tonight?”
Woman (rising, tears dripping from eyes): “No! I hate you!” (Woman exits, stage right).
Man (quizzical look on his face, pauses, then sits down in Woman’s chair and picks up the remote, turning on the tv): “Huh. I wonder what that was all about.”

And the sad thing is, he really doesn’t realize what the problem is. Yup, we’re clueless.
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:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

The really sad part about these exchanges is that they are absolutely accurate!
 
Dear Opening Poster, what were you actually asking about?

I mean, asking what signs she could give that she were interested in you? Or, being accosted by you, that she’s interested in someone else already? Or, being with you, that she’s found a new romantic interest?

In case 1, look for signs of attraction. That includes body language following your own, reflecting it, or somehow complimenting it. Additionally, signs of being nervous and uncollected, without obvious signs of resentment. She may lose her ability to think clearly, start stuttering or repeating herself, being clumsy and whatnot. Another type of girl might start showing off, such as let’s say, showing off certain physical attributes or qualities of personality, or achievements or talents. She will inquire into your life, your hobbies, whatnot.

In case 2, it will be more obvious, plus, she won’t be cooperating even if she does seem flattered.

In case 3, you will likely notice she’s after someone else, as well as her interest in you is dropping.

I can evaluate further if you’d like me to.

Good luck and avoid games as much as possible. Simplicity is a virtue and honesty is one as well.
 
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