Large Families on Purpose

[bitterhope]

To the parents of larger families who have responded, or who will respond, here a few specific questions

When did your mind and heart begin to truly comprehend and accept that you were meant to have a larger family? What helped that acceptance to come about?

Did you ever have any embarrassment about wishing for another baby, even though your family was already large?

How did you handle the chaos of large family life? Did you become very self-disciplined and organized? Or did you learn to let go of expectations a bit? Or both?

What practical things truly set apart your family from smaller ones, meaning, what practical aspects of your family culture are unique to your family precisely because they came about due to its increasing size? For example, in our family, we color code towels and have special plate designs and toothbrush types for each child. We also use over-the-door hooks for hanging up towels and bathrobes and jackets over. Every. Single. Door. Of. Our. House! . We also have a shoe shelf for everyone’s shoes at the front door. We line up to go places, even for tooth brushing time at the bathroom. We cram many beds in tiny bedrooms. We homeschool. And the list goes on. Our home is weird to others with smaller families, and I LOVE to see how other big families make it work.

When I was pregnant with my twins it hit me that I was going to need to rearrange my life or I was going to end up having a breakdown. I did a ton of praying. I started asking my mom some major religious questions (she had 16 kids), and I spent a lot of time in the confessional talking to the various priests. Reading accounts of large families of saints and others also helped. Many times Catholic moms of many are reminded by priests that birth control is wrong whether you have 0, 1, or 20 children–God does not accept a set amount as enough. Believe it or not, reading about Celine Dion was a turning point for me. He mom was told the same thing echoed throughout history by priests to moms of many. Her mother was wishing to stop having children BEFORE she was born, and imagine if she had? Same with many saints (Catherine of Siena among others). The world would be so different without these people and saints. It all helped me accept God had a plan for me and my children.

I have been embarrassed many times announcing pregnancies. I had my oldest 9 months into my marriage. I was 18. My second came at 19. Twins at age 20. My fifth when I was just turning 22. Each time I was embarrassed. It’s gotten better. I no longer care that my mom, my husband, my kids and I are the only ones happy a new baby is coming. Embarrassment fades over time. Another thing I’ve come to accept I guess.

For me, the big family chaos is normal. I grew up with it. My husband has learn to just accept things and go with the flow. We are super organized in some things (chores, finances, medical records, schedules, etc), and completely unorganized in others (laundry, laundry, laundry!!!) my husband and I have had to determine what is most important at a given time and let go of the rest.

Not sure what sets us apart from smaller ones to be honest. I’ll ask my husband if he knows. He only had a sister and she’s much younger than him. Probably one thing is that we rely on our kids to pull their own weight and we don’t cater to every want like I see many parents do when they only have 2 or 3 kids. Chores are nonnegotiable. If the kids can’t do theirs for any reason they are responsible for “hiring” a replacement. For instance, if someone has fishes and will be gone for the evening, they can either pay a sibling to do the fishes if arrangers switch a sibling’s chore, but they are responsible not me. They must by their own electronics. They do odd jobs for neighbors or work part time when they hit 16. We provide all needs but they buy most wants. My 17 year old took a job to by himself an art tablet ($1200) and now is saving for college. Most smaller families don’t need to do that with their kids.

One more thing, we do laundry parties on Saturdays. All clean clothes are placed on the “laundry chair” during the week until the party. We turn on music and sort, fold and put away clothes at the party. Smaller families giggle at our laundry chair.

 

[Xantippe]

We only have three so far, but we do the color coding for towels, Toothbrushes, and water bottles. I remember that from when I was a kid, and I figured if I started young it’d be easier than implementing a system after.

One neat idea I’ve heard, though our house is too small, is to put more kids in a room to sleep and then use a bedroom as a closet - keep clothes organized by gender and size rather than by kid.

Our three boys will share a room. The older two have it now because the baby is with us. It’s not a room to play in, just for sleeping.

We also color code towels to avoid sending too many towels to make sure that each bathroom gets enough towels, even with only three children. The MBR gets all white towels and the baby’s wash cloths, our daughter gets hot pink and orange towels, and our son gets turquoise and green towels.

It’s visually very simple.

Also, I try to buy a lot of identical socks in each size to avoid losing half a pair. (So, none of those multi-packs with three or four different pairs each in a different pattern.)

 

[Xantippe]

And we stick to two clothing brands: Old Navy and Children’s Place, so that everything will mix well together. The youngest ones still get new clothes, but we don’t have to buy as much this way.

That’s a very good point.

I also think that hot pink is fabulous for color coordinating girls’ clothing. After many years of resisting pink (and making some dumb purchases that didn’t match anything else), I finally realized this with my younger daughter–that you can make hot pink match a lot of different colors. A quote I’ve seen says, “Pink is the navy blue of India.”

Baby Girl also does amazing things with leopard print (including combined with hot pink), but that’s not everybody’s cup of tea.

 

[jmjZelie]

We also color code towels to avoid sending too many towels to make sure that each bathroom gets enough towels, even with only three children. The MBR gets all white towels and the baby’s wash cloths, our daughter gets hot pink and orange towels, and our son gets turquoise and green towels.

It’s visually very simple.

Also, I try to buy a lot of identical socks in each size to avoid losing half a pair. (So, none of those multi-packs with three or four different pairs each in a different pattern.)

Do you, by any chance, use IKEA towels? If yes, can you guess how I figured it out?

 

[Xantippe]

Do you, by any chance, use IKEA towels? If yes, can you guess how I figured it out?

Some.

The first few sets of colored towels originally came from the grocery store, so even less classy than IKEA!

 

[ThePCWife]

When I was pregnant with my twins it hit me that I was going to need to rearrange my life or I was going to end up having a breakdown. I did a ton of praying. I started asking my mom some major religious questions (she had 16 kids), and I spent a lot of time in the confessional talking to the various priests. Reading accounts of large families of saints and others also helped. Many times Catholic moms of many are reminded by priests that birth control is wrong whether you have 0, 1, or 20 children–God does not accept a set amount as enough. Believe it or not, reading about Celine Dion was a turning point for me. He mom was told the same thing echoed throughout history by priests to moms of many. Her mother was wishing to stop having children BEFORE she was born, and imagine if she had? Same with many saints (Catherine of Siena among others). The world would be so different without these people and saints. It all helped me accept God had a plan for me and my children.

I have been embarrassed many times announcing pregnancies. I had my oldest 9 months into my marriage. I was 18. My second came at 19. Twins at age 20. My fifth when I was just turning 22. Each time I was embarrassed. It’s gotten better. I no longer care that my mom, my husband, my kids and I are the only ones happy a new baby is coming. Embarrassment fades over time. Another thing I’ve come to accept I guess.

For me, the big family chaos is normal. I grew up with it. My husband has learn to just accept things and go with the flow. We are super organized in some things (chores, finances, medical records, schedules, etc), and completely unorganized in others (laundry, laundry, laundry!!!) my husband and I have had to determine what is most important at a given time and let go of the rest.

Not sure what sets us apart from smaller ones to be honest. I’ll ask my husband if he knows. He only had a sister and she’s much younger than him. Probably one thing is that we rely on our kids to pull their own weight and we don’t cater to every want like I see many parents do when they only have 2 or 3 kids. Chores are nonnegotiable. If the kids can’t do theirs for any reason they are responsible for “hiring” a replacement. For instance, if someone has fishes and will be gone for the evening, they can either pay a sibling to do the fishes if arrangers switch a sibling’s chore, but they are responsible not me. They must by their own electronics. They do odd jobs for neighbors or work part time when they hit 16. We provide all needs but they buy most wants. My 17 year old took a job to by himself an art tablet ($1200) and now is saving for college. Most smaller families don’t need to do that with their kids.

One more thing, we do laundry parties on Saturdays. All clean clothes are placed on the “laundry chair” during the week until the party. We turn on music and sort, fold and put away clothes at the party. Smaller families giggle at our laundry chair.

How did you rely on your children to pull their own weight when they were under age 6 or so?

 

[bitterhope]

We keep a small wardrobe for each of the little girls and pass down everything that is in good condition. Once one grows out of it, her little sister immediately gets it! And we stick to two clothing brands: Old Navy and Children’s Place, so that everything will mix well together. The youngest ones still get new clothes, but we don’t have to buy as much this way.

Our son is lonely in his own bedroom whereas his sisters are packed in like sardines. I still hope that God will bless us with another son. But knowing His wonderful sense of humor, if we have another baby, it will likely be another girl!

I forgot about the water bottles! We do that, too. That is actually part of their Christmas presents this year. They use their color coded water bottles every day and they have worn them out!

Our five boys share the “master bedroom” and have that bathroom. The three girls share a smaller bedroom and my husband and I have the smallest room. We only have two bathrooms but the hall bath stays cleaner anyway since the boys have their own. We’ve decided if we ever do have another baby (please pray we do!), we will finish our attic into a big loft with two small bedrooms and an open school/play area. We will put the older boys upstairs, give the girls the master bedroom, and give the little boys the current girls room. As it stands now we are finishing the attic as just open area without the bedrooms.

 

[Dorothy]

Wonderful!

Let me think what questions I want to ask you…

I am definitely curious about the planning and carrying out of duties related to cooking and laundry. What kinds of meals did you make for such a large family? Did you ever struggle with doubt or confusion about remaining within God’s will for your family? Did you try to go to Mass altogether or did you take turns going to separate Masses while you had babies and toddlers?

When they were young teens I taught them how to use the washer and dryer.
Before that I did it all, and we had a “sock drawer” in the kitchen, as I didn’t know who owned what socks!

I remember every three months or so I would say to myself “How can I organize this better?”

It goes without saying that there were many humorous times, and many sad times as well.

The meals I made were mostly pasta and meatballs and salad; beef stew, roasted chicken parts with mashed potatoes and salad; (always salad with every meal, and canned veggies with most meals); franks and beans; hamburgers and fries, meat loaf, broiled pork chops, (whatever meat was on sale.) There was always fruit, in season, in the refrigerator. Lunches for school was either baloney sandwiches, or peanut butter and jelly.

Yes, I did struggle because after the sixth child I had phlebitis. The “hot spots” on my leg were so painful I could not get out of bed and had to use a bedpan. My husband took his vacation then to take care of the family That is where my Mom and some friends helped out as well, with bringing meals.

Sadly my husband was poorly catechized and did not come to Mass regularly. I went to a very early Mass on Sunday by myself, and when the children reached about six years old I started to take them. My husband came only occasionally.

It wasn’t till many years later that he suffered with cancer, and that brought him into the faith strongly; he began to seriously practice it then. After six years of battling prostate to bone cancer, he died peacefully surround by me and all the children who made it on time with the driving and air travel. He had home hospice at that time.

The night before he died, and after the last child arrived at about 10:00 PM we had a prayer meeting around his bed and played his favorite song on a CD “On Eagle’s Wings”. Then each child (they were all adults then) shared a bit of how much they appreciated him taking them fishing and sledding when they were younger. At that time my husband wasn’t able to speak, but had tears in his eyes.

I could write much more but it would take a big book!

Dorothy

 

[bitterhope]

How did you rely on your children to pull their own weight when they were under age 6 or so?

We start them out as soon as they can walk. Babies can load the dish washer with mom. They can collect dirty clothes and even toss them in the washer. They pick up their own messes and put away the clothes in their drawers. They are able to set the table and clear the table. They can feed the pets and pick up trash to put in the trash can. They are able to put toys away, wipe up spills, put the shoes in the closet, hang coats if the hangers are low enough, put books on the bookshelf and help out with projects. Kids under six are very capable of pulling their own weight around the house. My current two year old has her name in the chore chart. This week she has laundry which means she collects dirty clothes from the bedrooms and bathrooms each morning to take to the laundry room. Next week she has porches which means she helps mom sweep and tidy the porches and yards each day. The week after that she has dishes which means she will help mom rinse dishes, load the dish washer and scrub pots and pans. Of course I do most of it but it gets her in the habit of chores and also helps her learn how they are done. My 4 year old is mostly independent with his chores now but every thing is fine on an age appropriate level. Newborns don’t come out reading but we start reading to them early to establish that habit. It’s the same with responsibility.

 

[jmjZelie]

Some.

The first few sets of colored towels originally came from the grocery store, so even less classy than IKEA!

Okay.

What is really funny is that I immediately thought of IKEA when you mentioned the towel colors, because WE get our towels from IKEA (have done so for years) and those colors are what we use, plus a sunny yellow for the baby.

Then, I read your post to my husband and he said “they must shop at IKEA!” I really got a chuckle at that.

And who cares about classy? IKEA is awesome, especially for kids.

 

[Xantippe]

Okay.

What is really funny is that I immediately thought of IKEA when you mentioned the towel colors, because WE get our towels from IKEA (have done so for years) and those colors are what we use, plus a sunny yellow for the baby.

Then, I read your post to my husband and he said “they must shop at IKEA!” I really got a chuckle at that.

And who cares about classy? IKEA is awesome, especially for kids.

Oh, yes!

 

[jmjZelie]

How did you rely on your children to pull their own weight when they were under age 6 or so?

It was hardest teaching my oldest how to help, but by the time she was 6, she was regularly helping with some things like folding laundry, washing bathroom sinks and wiping mirrors, tidying up her own belongings. She is still not a naturally tidy child, but she is also a WONDERFUL helper and loves to work alongside a parent.

With my subsequent children, each one has learned at a progressively earlier age to do more helpful tasks, by watching the modeling of their siblings. My toddler can put a load into the washing machine for me to start and she can lay out placemats and napkins and pick up her toys with assistance.

The hardest thing for me to do, as a mother, is to remember to leverage my helpers and not try to do it all myself.

 

[Xantippe]

It was hardest teaching my oldest how to help, but by the time she was 6, she was regularly helping with some things like folding laundry, washing bathroom sinks and wiping mirrors, tidying up her own belongings. She is still not a naturally tidy child, but she is also a WONDERFUL helper and loves to work alongside a parent.

With my subsequent children, each one has learned at a progressively earlier age to do more helpful tasks, by watching the modeling of their siblings. My toddler can put a load into the washing machine for me to start and she can lay out placemats and napkins and pick up her toys with assistance.

The hardest thing for me to do, as a mother, is to remember to leverage my helpers and not try to do it all myself.

I don’t know if this is a birth order thing, but our third has been a freakishly helpful wunderkind since she was 2ish–she wants to get her own crackers, tidy her own room, wipe spills, buckle her own car seat buckle, snap herself into her stroller, dress herself, wash her own hair, etc. That may be some sort of inborn personal trait or the effect of being surrounded by much bigger people that do stuff for themselves or probably both.

On the other hand, our oldest is on the autism spectrum and was very oppositional for years and also had iffy fine motor skills. I was dressing my oldest and dragging her to the car for school until she was 8 while her smaller brother was dressing himself for preschool by 4.

Different kids are different.

 

[bitterhope]

You asked about meals–we eat lots of traditional Mexican meals partly because we enjoy them but mainly because it’s so cheap. We made a 10 pound pork roast into 20 DOZEN tamales–enough to feed us several meals. Beans and rice, bocoles, sopes and chorizo con huevos are also cheap meals. We also make spaghetti a lot. Everything from scratch and tons of vegetables. Each meal starts with a salad while we finish the cooking so kids get their vegetable regardless if if they like the vegetable we eat with the meal. Plus they leave me alone and don’t constantly ask for snacks while I’m trying to finish cooking. Salads start each lunch and dinner time and can be as simple as plain lettuce or include tons of chopped vegetables and fruits. It depends on which child has dinner that night because they all prefer different stuff or are not really wanting to make much of a salad that night. They all love salad and it’s a healthy snack that doesn’t ruin their dinner. We don’t put meats in the salads though because that does fill them up and also adds to the cost of the salad. One day last week the “salad” consisted of apple slices and celery sticks but it still counted for our family. If you have kids that don’t like vegetables, try adding salads.

 

[pensmama87]

This isn’t so much a large family thing as a cheapo thing, but I almost never serve meat as a “stand alone item” - it’s definitely a condiment in our house. We actually do a lot of Mexican as well - we find it’s very flavorful but inexpensive.

Oh, and when I was babysitting and had lots of littles at home during the day, even though they weren’t all mine, I did a lot of dinner prep - cutting vegetables etc. during nap time. So then I just had to assemble. Also, I basically never make anything that requires peeling potatoes. For some reason it just takes forever…so I just don’t anymore. Scrub and chop for roasting is more my speed.

 

[jmjZelie]

You asked about meals–we eat lots of traditional Mexican meals partly because we enjoy them but mainly because it’s so cheap. We made a 10 pound pork roast into 20 DOZEN tamales–enough to feed us several meals. Beans and rice, bocoles, sopes and chorizo con huevos are also cheap meals. We also make spaghetti a lot. Everything from scratch and tons of vegetables. Each meal starts with a salad while we finish the cooking so kids get their vegetable regardless if if they like the vegetable we eat with the meal. Plus they leave me alone and don’t constantly ask for snacks while I’m trying to finish cooking. Salads start each lunch and dinner time and can be as simple as plain lettuce or include tons of chopped vegetables and fruits. It depends on which child has dinner that night because they all prefer different stuff or are not really wanting to make much of a salad that night. They all love salad and it’s a healthy snack that doesn’t ruin their dinner. We don’t put meats in the salads though because that does fill them up and also adds to the cost of the salad. One day last week the “salad” consisted of apple slices and celery sticks but it still counted for our family. If you have kids that don’t like vegetables, try adding salads.

Pretty please can you share your recipe for chorizo con huevos? We have a delicious dish that my husband was taught to make by a Puerto Rican family friend that has chorizo and red beans and rice. But we always have leftover chorizo! We love it and we love eggs, so we need to try chorizo con huevos!
We eat a lot of Mexi-Cali flavors, especially now that we live in SoCal and it is all so easy to find. We also eat meatloaf and roasts and pastas and soups. We always have some sort of high-protein entree, and some salad and bread, steamed veggies and we keep canned green beans and applesauce and cottage cheese on hand to fill up bellies in case the kids are still hungry. It helps us stretch an entree, because the entree is the most expensive part of a meal.
We also like baked potatoes with toppings and fresh baked bread and rice and beans and chili and cornbread. Very cheap meals but also very nutritious and filling.

 

[jmjZelie]

This isn’t so much a large family thing as a cheapo thing, but I almost never serve meat as a “stand alone item” - it’s definitely a condiment in our house. We actually do a lot of Mexican as well - we find it’s very flavorful but inexpensive.

Oh, and when I was babysitting and had lots of littles at home during the day, even though they weren’t all mine, I did a lot of dinner prep - cutting vegetables etc. during nap time. So then I just had to assemble. Also, I basically never make anything that requires peeling potatoes. For some reason it just takes forever…so I just don’t anymore. Scrub and chop for roasting is more my speed.

The same was true for us until about a year ago when we discovered our oldest loves to peel veggies. Now mashed potatoes and cooked carrots are making a comeback to our dinner table!

 

[pianistclare]

I wish this were true. Most people assume he “can’t keep it in his pants” and they aren’t afraid to voice those assumption. It’s really unfair because he is a wonderfully living husband and father. Everything he does is for us. Of course must of the world isn’t privy to the fact that we are now completely abstaining because this is what HE has chosen. Most people would never understand making that decision. And yeah, many construe it very negatively as well. Talk of infidelity and such, especially with him being a Mexican man. Everybody knows how they view and treat women.

OK, I’m going to have drop out of this thread. You get mad about people assuming things about you, yet you make this statement about Mexican men?
unbelievable.

 

[MomaMary8]

To the parents of larger families who have responded, or who will respond, here a few specific questions

When did your mind and heart begin to truly comprehend and accept that you were meant to have a larger family? What helped that acceptance to come about?

I always had a hard time accepting the idea of a set number of kids. To follow the premarital advice on agreeing to an amount of children always rubbed me wrong. As I had mentioned in a previous post, DH said 3, I said 5, we agreed on 4. When bab # 5 came, we joked that I had won. When baby #6 was born we said God won! It really was at #6 that we felt free or liberated from the societal constraints of what constitutes the right amount of kids when factoring in XY&Z. That was when we truly let go and let God happen in our family size.

Did you ever have any embarrassment about wishing for another baby, even though your family was already large?

With trusting God in my family size, I never felt that longing for a baby. That could be partly due to how quickly they came. When you are 3 mo postpartum and pregnant again, you don’t have much time to long for another. When there was space between kids, I didn’t yearn to be pregnant. I saw so much infertility around that I was thankful for how many I was blessed with at the time and was grateful at the blessing of another when they did come. Miscarriages always remind me of how fragile life is and how blessed I am when I get to keep one on Earth with me:heart:

How did you handle the chaos of large family life? Did you become very self-disciplined and organized? Or did you learn to let go of expectations a bit? Or both?

Chaos? What chaos? The more children I have the more organized I become. I did let go of expectations in some areas. Towels are not put away and stacked with each band lined up with the towel below it, they are now just stacked. Laundry may sit for a few days, as long as 3-4 loads are done a day, I’m happy. My meals are not gourmet, but something that takes 1 hour or less to prep and make…but I do cut veggies fast My kids are neat and clean. They dress modestly, but still fashionably. I have a set of standards that I keep to, but I don’t drive ourselves insane by demanding a standard for arbitrary reasons. My young girls like to do their own hair. It’s neat and clean and that’s fine. They may not have the cute French braids or latest pintrist hairstyle but that’s okay. They are clean, brushed, well mannered and joyful.

What practical things truly set apart your family from smaller ones, meaning, what practical aspects of your family culture are unique to your family precisely because they came about due to its increasing size? For example, in our family, we color code towels and have special plate designs and toothbrush types for each child. We also use over-the-door hooks for hanging up towels and bathrobes and jackets over. Every. Single. Door. Of. Our. House! . We also have a shoe shelf for everyone’s shoes at the front door. We line up to go places, even for tooth brushing time at the bathroom. We cram many beds in tiny bedrooms. We homeschool. And the list goes on. Our home is weird to others with smaller families, and I LOVE to see how other big families make it work.

We gave up on color coding cups and towels. We just couldn’t find enough different colors of cups or the colors available would change with the fashion. They put their towel on their own hook and know which one is theirs. They’ve learned to respect each other’s things as its a mutual desire. No one wants to use someone else’s towel…and they don’t pull towels out excessively because they know they’ll get laundry duty if they do! They do have their own drawer for toiletries in the bathroom. It used to be plastic drawers in the closet (Rubbermaid style) but we remodeled and have drawers for all now. 4 per room is common. It’s dresser space that’s hard to come by. Toys are in the basement…no extra room for a playroom! That would be pure luxury!

Chores are a must and littles can pair socks, wipe down tables, find hangers, carry dirty laundry down, take out garbage, etc. Everyone has a part in helping the family. It’s not about just helping out mom or dad, but recognizing they are part of a family and we work best together.

I would say a big thing to remember in your family size is to humbly thank God for the gift of your family size. My in-laws were always boastful about having 9 kids and it kills me. My parents were lucky to have 4, and they fought hard to keep #4 alive. They were always humbled by how much God blessed them with the ability to have 4. I knew I was a treasured gift. My sisters and brothers-in-law don’t have that same feeling. They felt like a by-product of sex w/o birth control. A much different perception.

 

[Usige]

When did your mind and heart begin to truly comprehend and accept that you were meant to have a larger family? What helped that acceptance to come about?

We likely came at it from a different place then some. Since we lived a mostly secular life for the first 10 years of our marriage, it was our return to God that started us down the road. I’m not sure that we planned on having a large family so much as saying, “well perhaps one more and then we’ll see.” Each time it’s come down to saying we’ve got room for one more. Much of ours is that we spent the first half of marriage saying we are in control of our lives, the last 10 years we’ve turned to God and simply ask “Lord, lead and we shall follow.” That mindset change has made it so we don’t worry about what *might *happen 20 - 30+ years down the road. Since adding God and prayer to our decisions our life has become much less stressful, despite the additional precious lives we have to care for. Much of it is a feeling of being blessed that God would entrust us with the lives of his children. That played a huge part in our acceptance.

Did you ever have any embarrassment about wishing for another baby, even though your family was already large?

Nope. Now admittedly I’m in my 40s so I really don’t give a rip what other people think. I figure as long as you can support your kids then have 20 if that’s what you feel called to do.

How did you handle the chaos of large family life? Did you become very self-disciplined and organized? Or did you learn to let go of expectations a bit? Or both?

It’s a bit of both, but overall we simply let go of expectations. I’ve always been a bit of a live and let live person. I know things will get done eventually, but really the key for us is take care of needs and be flexible.We have must does and nice to dos. Laundry and groceries are a must do so they are fairly scheduled. Cleaning is broken into must be done (kitchen, bathrooms), but nice todo are things like bedrooms. If the kids don’t get around to straightening them up then no big deal. Then again if they can’t find something I hand them a shovel and say, start digging.

What practical things truly set apart your family from smaller ones, meaning, what practical aspects of your family culture are unique to your family precisely because they came about due to its increasing size?

We don’t color coordinate stuff. We have two sequences of clothes; girls and boys. Each gets cycled through and when we get to a gap in ages they get put in blue or pink tubs in the basement. What clothes are yours is tied to sex and size so what’s yours today, might be someones else’s a couple months or years down the road. Tooth brushes are kinda their own responsibility. We have different ones for each of them, but they have to keep track of which one is theirs. If you don’t grab the right one I’ll grab the first one that comes to hand. Same with towels. If there is one that is “yours” then hang it up and get it when you get out. I figure we share the same genes, same environment and same dirt so if it’s in your bathroom it’s fair game. If you don’t like it then you tell me which one you want me to toss at you.

The most practical things for us is that we can actually use bulk food from places like Costco without worrying about things expiring before they are gone. The other things is that I’ve gotten really good at fixing a washing machine. With that many people in the house parts go out on our machine about once every 3 years. Instead of dropping 800 bucks on a new one I learned how to fix it myself for 40 - 50 bucks. I actually keep a spare pump on hand because being without a washer for more than two days starts causing issues.