K
KCtheMommy
Guest
1ke actually inspired this post and story from me. It’s inspired by another post about baptism, and how it got to last rights/baptism is just how these forums go.
I would LOVE to hear how you all would have handled it… what YOU would have done in my position. I’ll finish with what my priest thought at the time…
It was almost 3 years ago and I was about 17 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child. MY DH, a US Navy Sailor was deployed on the USS Lincoln and was currently on reponse to the Tsunami in Thailand. Meanwhile back home with 2 lil’uns and another on the way I moved to a bigger home. I had the help of all the wives and some of the guys back home int he squadron. I got really sick during the move and it was discovered my gall-badder was attacking. This was way mroe than our local hospital could handle at the NAS considering the pregnancy so I was sent to the nearest big military hospital – Madigan.
I was in a holding pattern on the labor and delivery floor while the doctor’s decided what to do – cut me wide open as standard pregnancy surgery dictated – or TRY for laproscopy since baby was still small enough to perchance not interfere with the more simple surgery. EITHER WAY – they were doing what they could to save both of our lives in the most conservative way possible. The Red Cross had been contacted (after a fit in the ER back at the NAS where a nurse was being a stinker about it, and a corpseman got involved and called for me) and DH was on his way home from half way across earth…
Finally they decide on “laproscopy FIRST, but we will cut you wide open if we can’t do it.” I am due to go into the OR the next morning. I have a SWEET RN whom I ask before bed to arrange a PRIEST to be there in the morning for the Anointing of the Sick and a special blessing for my unborn child. A baptism by proxy if he had to, or something for the baby if he/she didn’t survive the surgery.
5AM, I am getting ready for surgery. I ask for the priest. I am told the Chaplain is on “his way.” Then I am informed that it’s NOT a CATHOLIC PRIEST - but a Mormon ELDER. “He’s coming through the gate right now.”
So World War III erupts in my hospital room when I DECLINE the mormon holy man. I am crying my eyes out – seriously, so fearful of going into this surgery without a blessing for the baby. BUT it get’s better: here comes the head nurse and she’s literally yelling at me for being SELFISH and RUDE on not allowing this chaplain to come pray with me. I say "
obviously you are not Catholic, or you would not be disrespecting my faith, nor my wishes, nor denying me a sacrament important to me and this baby. I can’t do this, it’s not right, it’s not what I need, I need a sacrament, other faith’s can’t preform this sacrament!" She literally screams while walking out the door that she IS Catholic, and that I am a jerk: ‘all he wants to do is pray with you! You are a horrible person!’" She slammed the door so hard the room shook.
My sweet RN looks at me and says “I asked for a chaplain, and I don’t blame you, as a Catholic I would have declined too.” I realize the faux paux, the nurse said Chaplain – not Priest, but hey, she never suspected that a mormon would show up for a catholic patient. And you know what? I felt BAD. Here this guy got up at the crack of dawn to have me say “no” – so he had to turn and go home.
I also felt bullied at the same time.
Eventually we got through it – the baby and I. I’ll never forget the situation though.
When I told our priest,(who was a friend too) he literally dropped his head into his hands and said “I should have been there for you.” That made me want to cry, and I told him “no it was way too far for you to travel Father.” (three+ hours each way) His response made me feel much better about how I handled it, even with the crying, yelling and door-slamming.
How would you handle the situation? Have you considered you might be really sick suddenly and that your last rites, or annointing of the sick might be lost in the murk of “chaplain” as it now stands vs. just requesting a priest?
Where should politeness end and proactiveness begin?
Even though we kind of laugh about it now, I am still hurt I never received the sacrament. They would NOT wait by OR schedule to get a priest. I even demanded they call the local arch-diocese but the head nurse told me she had already done her job and would not call.
What would you do? Would you pray with the Mormon Holy man, or would you decline? Would you have stopped the surgery to have the proper clergy brought in?
I would LOVE to hear how you all would have handled it… what YOU would have done in my position. I’ll finish with what my priest thought at the time…
It was almost 3 years ago and I was about 17 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child. MY DH, a US Navy Sailor was deployed on the USS Lincoln and was currently on reponse to the Tsunami in Thailand. Meanwhile back home with 2 lil’uns and another on the way I moved to a bigger home. I had the help of all the wives and some of the guys back home int he squadron. I got really sick during the move and it was discovered my gall-badder was attacking. This was way mroe than our local hospital could handle at the NAS considering the pregnancy so I was sent to the nearest big military hospital – Madigan.
I was in a holding pattern on the labor and delivery floor while the doctor’s decided what to do – cut me wide open as standard pregnancy surgery dictated – or TRY for laproscopy since baby was still small enough to perchance not interfere with the more simple surgery. EITHER WAY – they were doing what they could to save both of our lives in the most conservative way possible. The Red Cross had been contacted (after a fit in the ER back at the NAS where a nurse was being a stinker about it, and a corpseman got involved and called for me) and DH was on his way home from half way across earth…
Finally they decide on “laproscopy FIRST, but we will cut you wide open if we can’t do it.” I am due to go into the OR the next morning. I have a SWEET RN whom I ask before bed to arrange a PRIEST to be there in the morning for the Anointing of the Sick and a special blessing for my unborn child. A baptism by proxy if he had to, or something for the baby if he/she didn’t survive the surgery.
5AM, I am getting ready for surgery. I ask for the priest. I am told the Chaplain is on “his way.” Then I am informed that it’s NOT a CATHOLIC PRIEST - but a Mormon ELDER. “He’s coming through the gate right now.”
So World War III erupts in my hospital room when I DECLINE the mormon holy man. I am crying my eyes out – seriously, so fearful of going into this surgery without a blessing for the baby. BUT it get’s better: here comes the head nurse and she’s literally yelling at me for being SELFISH and RUDE on not allowing this chaplain to come pray with me. I say "
obviously you are not Catholic, or you would not be disrespecting my faith, nor my wishes, nor denying me a sacrament important to me and this baby. I can’t do this, it’s not right, it’s not what I need, I need a sacrament, other faith’s can’t preform this sacrament!" She literally screams while walking out the door that she IS Catholic, and that I am a jerk: ‘all he wants to do is pray with you! You are a horrible person!’" She slammed the door so hard the room shook.
My sweet RN looks at me and says “I asked for a chaplain, and I don’t blame you, as a Catholic I would have declined too.” I realize the faux paux, the nurse said Chaplain – not Priest, but hey, she never suspected that a mormon would show up for a catholic patient. And you know what? I felt BAD. Here this guy got up at the crack of dawn to have me say “no” – so he had to turn and go home.
I also felt bullied at the same time.
Eventually we got through it – the baby and I. I’ll never forget the situation though.
When I told our priest,(who was a friend too) he literally dropped his head into his hands and said “I should have been there for you.” That made me want to cry, and I told him “no it was way too far for you to travel Father.” (three+ hours each way) His response made me feel much better about how I handled it, even with the crying, yelling and door-slamming.
How would you handle the situation? Have you considered you might be really sick suddenly and that your last rites, or annointing of the sick might be lost in the murk of “chaplain” as it now stands vs. just requesting a priest?
Where should politeness end and proactiveness begin?
Even though we kind of laugh about it now, I am still hurt I never received the sacrament. They would NOT wait by OR schedule to get a priest. I even demanded they call the local arch-diocese but the head nurse told me she had already done her job and would not call.
What would you do? Would you pray with the Mormon Holy man, or would you decline? Would you have stopped the surgery to have the proper clergy brought in?
I’m glad it all worked out, though.
).