Last Rites

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My father passed away in September and the hospice nurse (who is also a nun), before his passing, administered what we thought were Last Rites. Turns out, she was only anointing him with holy oil. We fear that my father, a devout and spiritual man, would be troubled to know that he did not receive Last Rites before he died. Have we really done irrevocable damage? Is there some way to administer them now even though he is already gone? My rational side knows that a man like my father is in heaven, but part of me wonders if we perhaps affected his journey “home”. Any wisdom you can impart will be most helpful.
 
I am so sorry for your loss, and even more so because of the upsetting ciircumstances.

Perhaps dad did receive the Sacrament. The terminology is changed. What used to be called “Last Rights” (Extreme Unction) is now called the “anointing of the Sick” If a priest ever visited you dad, he probably was anointed.

But even if he wasn’t anointed, If he was a practicing Catholic while he was able, we must believe that Jesus came for him when he was near death.

Love & Prayers.
 
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Mysty101:
I am so sorry for your loss, and even more so because of the upsetting ciircumstances.

Perhaps dad did receive the Sacrament. The terminology is changed. What used to be called “Last Rights” (Extreme Unction) is now called the “anointing of the Sick” If a priest ever visited you dad, he probably was anointed.

But even if he wasn’t anointed, If he was a practicing Catholic while he was able, we must believe that Jesus came for him when he was near death.

Love & Prayers.
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Just a small correction. The “Last Rites” refers to a collection of rites celelbrated prior to death. Extreme Unction (now called the Anointing of the Sick) was one of those rites. Viaticum is another, confession yet another. We should not confuse the Anointing of the Sick (or Extreme Unction) as the Last Rites.

Deacon Ed
 
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emcdev:
My father passed away in September and the hospice nurse (who is also a nun), before his passing, administered what we thought were Last Rites. Turns out, she was only anointing him with holy oil. We fear that my father, a devout and spiritual man, would be troubled to know that he did not receive Last Rites before he died. Have we really done irrevocable damage? Is there some way to administer them now even though he is already gone? My rational side knows that a man like my father is in heaven, but part of me wonders if we perhaps affected his journey “home”. Any wisdom you can impart will be most helpful.
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Last things first here… We cannot give the sacraments to one who is deceased. When doing the Anointing of the Sick most priests will do so even if the person has been dead for as much as 30 minutes, but usually not beyond that. If the person is apparently dead the anointing is conditional (“If you are alive, I anoint you…”).

What Sister did was a sacramental, not a sacrament. As I mentioned in another post, the “Last Rites” are a collection of rites: confession, viaticum and the Anointing of the Sick. It is more than just the anointing.

You have not done “irrevocable damage” by not having this done. If, as you say, your father was a spiritual man than it is quite likely that he lived expected that he could be called before God at any moment (this is how we are all supposed to live). Even the simple anointing that Sister did could strengthen him for his final journey.

Be at peace.

Deacon Ed
 
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emcdev:
My father passed away in September and the hospice nurse (who is also a nun), before his passing, administered what we thought were Last Rites. Turns out, she was only anointing him with holy oil. We fear that my father, a devout and spiritual man, would be troubled to know that he did not receive Last Rites before he died. Have we really done irrevocable damage? Is there some way to administer them now even though he is already gone? My rational side knows that a man like my father is in heaven, but part of me wonders if we perhaps affected his journey “home”. Any wisdom you can impart will be most helpful.
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Pray for your Father and offer Mass for his soul that is the best thing you can do for him now. It really does sadden me when the faithful are mislead and do not know what needs to be done when a loved one is seriously ill or near death. It is now in God’s hands, trust in God to be both just and merciful.
 
I was watching EWTN last night and Father Groeschel received a question from a caller that was very similar. He said that the Last Rites are not required before death. It is preferred to have them if possible, but not necessary.

Rest in the trust and hope of the Lord. It was through no fault of yours or of your father’s that he did not receive what he would have liked before death. Rest in the Lord.
 
The “Last Rite” is now the person’s last reception of Holy Communion. The annointing now allows that the person could get well. In the old days when the priest showed up for Last Rites, the person figured he was a goner. Jesus healed many and the new Rite takes into consideration that the person may live. Folks are also annointed before undergoing serious medical procedures. There are many places that do not see a priest very often such as prisons, hospitals, nursing homes Etc. As Deacon Ed said the oil is used as a Sacramental. After the Chrism Mass, some of the Holy Oils were given to the chaplains of our local prisons, who are both Catholic Sisters. Many are not aware of these developments, although it has been years since they became the norm. Some still get angry when they can not get a priest to administer ,what they still feel is “Last Rites,” to their loved one.

May God bless you,
Deacon Tony SFO
 
It is important to not erase the clear line between a Sacrament and a sacramental.

The Oil blessed by a Bishop known as the Oil of the Infirm (OI) is to be used only by a Catholic priest, only for the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick. No one else should even be in possession of it.

Blessed Oil for use by lay persons is a sacramental and is NOT used in the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick.
 
I recall a directive from the 'Vatican several years ago forbidding the use of blessed oil by the laity to anoint others. The prohibition was specifically to eliminate the problem discussed here: confusing the sacramental with the Sacrament of Anointing. It was an unfortunate loss. Blessed oil was a popular sacramental in the Charismatic groups at that time. However the abuse was serious and, since people were being deprived of the Sacrament, action was needed.
 
Thank You Deacon Tony for the information. I did not know of these developments. My father passed away 3 years ago in Hospice. The afternoon before he passed he indicated to us that he wanted the receive his Last Rites. We called in a Catholic priest who came, prayed and then left. We were wondering if my father did not receive his final anointing because
  1. he was no longer able to respond or
    2)The priest came from a parish that my parents didn’t belong to.
You’ve clearly answered my question and you’ve set my heart at ease.

God Bless.🙂
 
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