Latecomers to Mass

[the_phoenix]

LATENESS TO MASS and END-OF-THE-PEW SITTING

I remember learning at home that being late to Mass through your own fault was a venial sin if you arrived any time up until the Gospel, and a mortal sin if you arrived after the Gospel reading had started, unless you could find another Mass to attend where you’d be on time (or could get there before the Gospel).

That said … Am not entirely sure what this website I’m quoting from is, (if anyone can find a better source, please let me know) but here’s what I found on doing a search on Google that led me here: olrl.org/Lessons/Lesson36.shtml

**What kind of sin is it to be late for Mass on a Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation? **
If, through your own fault, you come into the church –
Anytime before the priest takes the veil off the chalice, you commit a venial sin, unless you stay for the missed part in another Mass.
Anytime after the priest takes the veil off the chalice you commit a mortal sin, unless you stay for another entire Mass.
The priest removing the veil from the chalice marks the beginning of the Offertory, the first of the three principal parts of the Mass.

I’m one of those people that like to come early and lay claim to an end of the pew. Reason being, I’m short, so sitting at the end provides the most opportunity to see the Consecration rather than another parishioner’s back. I’m willing to extend the courtesy of moving in to accomodate families, all’s I ask is that you in turn show the courtesy of please letting me know of your intention to enter the pew before you actually come in. It isn’t pleasant being bumped or shoved by people (especially larger than you) who don’t even make eye contact … they’re just suddenly on top of you.

If it looks like the Mass is packed and I * REALLY * want that end seat so I can have a chance to see (if there were trees to climb, I’d be up in one like Zacheus ), I have another alternative. I can stand up, and with a polite bow, move outside the pew to direct those coming later in to the middle, all very courteous-like, very respectful, no pushing or shoving, then calmly re-take my seat on the end.

~~ the phoenix

 

[MJE]

Years ago I read a story about a man arriving late at Mass every Sunday and leaving early. The pastor did not know the man but one Sunday while another priest was celebrating Mass the pastor positioned himself outside the door and stopped the man after leaving the church prior to the final blessing. The pastor gently chatised the man for being routinely late and leaving early. The man explained that he worked for the RR and that every Sunday AM the train pulled into the industrial area of town for just over an hour for a routine task. He would run/walk the 2-3 miles to the church and leave early enough to run back and be ready when the train pulled out. He did not live in the area.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

I apologize, but I have not taken the time to read this entire thread. I just wanted to let you know what my parish has just started to do.

Our priest made an announcement a couple of weeks ago explaining the importance of the Liturgy of the Word.

He explained that, in order to show proper reverence, anyone arriving late would be asked to wait in the lobby area and the ushers would seat them at the soonest possible time that would not be distracting to the other people.

Malia

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

MJE:

Years ago I read a story about a man arriving late at Mass every Sunday and leaving early. The pastor did not know the man but one Sunday while another priest was celebrating Mass the pastor positioned himself outside the door and stopped the man after leaving the church prior to the final blessing. The pastor gently chatised the man for being routinely late and leaving early. The man explained that he worked for the RR and that every Sunday AM the train pulled into the industrial area of town for just over an hour for a routine task. He would run/walk the 2-3 miles to the church and leave early enough to run back and be ready when the train pulled out. He did not live in the area.

What a beautiful story…thanks for sharing it!

malia

 

[oldfogey]

If I was told to “wait in the lobby” because I was late, I would immediately change my parish.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

oldfogey:

If I was told to “wait in the lobby” because I was late, I would immediately change my parish.

Wow, I thought it was a good thing…oh well, to each his own.

Malia

 

[Karl_Keating]

leaner:

Nope, that bugs the nuts outta me too. Just flippin SLIDE over, wouldya?? And it’s not just if you’re late, we’re almost ALWAYS early, by at least 10min if not more. But people just HAVE to sit on the end…why is that!!! I have to step in a skirt and nice shoes and drag my two small children past them, and of course, they’re acting like it’s MY fault, as if I asked to sit in the middle or something…LOL. Inevitably, in their efforts to stay off the peoples feet, one of my kids loses his/her balance (they’re 4 and 2) and falls smack into their lap…was THAT what they had in mind? Is the “end seat” that important!!! Geeze – yep, that really bugs me too!

There are many posts here, from people with young children, asking for more understanding of how difficult it is to get a large family out the door of the house on time.

It would be nice to see more understanding for people who arrive at church early precisely to nab the aisle seats. In not a few cases, they see it as a necessity.

It may be a matter of possible incontinence that could force them to make a dash for the restroom. It might be that they suffer from agoraphobia or another emotional malady. It might be that they have queasy stomachs and wonder whether they’ll even make it through Mass without wretching. It might be that because of a physical ailment they need the extra elbow or leg room that an end seat provides.

Yes, there are some selfish people who just as easily could slide to the middle of the pew, just as there are selfish people with kids who just as easily could have left home early enough to make it to Mass on time. But if most large-family latecomers have a legitimate excuse, perhaps most end-seat folks do too. It’s just that they might not advertise the fact.

 

[eirepinkie]

yinekka:

I have just returned from a parish council meeting and the topic of persistent latecomers was brought up. I am not talking about the person who comes late once in a blue moon. We didn’t come to any decision as to what to do because “we mustn’t judge any one.”

Has this problem been solved in your parish? If so how?

Well, I don’t know about my “home” Parish, but at the other one I go to, during one sermon Father talked about what makes a good Catholic, and I know he mentioned people coming late to mass. I’m not sure if it worked- I’m someone who freaks out if I’m not somewhere at least five minutes early. But that’s probably a good idea- sneaking it in that way.

~Stacey

 

[Gwyn]

" For those that leave early, my wife wanted to hang a sign at the back of the church “The first person to leave the Church early was Judas”

I also remember a story about a man who always left right after receiving communion. In spite of the pastors efforts, he continued with this bad habit. So one day the pastor had two altar boys with candles waiting at the back orf the Church for him. They accompanied him to his car, lit candles and all. He stayed for the whole Mass after that.

MrS"

I think this is so true. Many people do leave after communion in our parish. That sign would surely be effective.
We leave normally after the last hymn is finished. However if we have to go somewhere we only leave after the priest leaves. On occassion DH has left after communion - that is because we have a parking problem and if he has parked in the laneways (not fire route) as Father has recommended and he is blocking someone, so he hurries out to move the car. But DS and I will stay in church.

 

[Gwyn]

When DS was younger, yes, it was hard making it on time to church and we live a 5 minute drive from church.

Now it is DH that makes us late, he does not get up till a half hour or less before mass and takes for ever in the batthroom. It is OK according to him to leave home at 9.30 for 9.30 mass.
If DS and self are ready we occassionally honk from the car (I can bet alot of the neighbours hate us for that)
However, if DH is not ready, DS and I take off, DH can come late. (We do have 2 cars)

 

[maryjk]

Thank you Mr. Keating.
I am a women aged 39 that looks to be in very good health. But I need to sit on the end. And not just any end, I need to sit on the left end. When people come late, and try to have me just move in, I say no and allow them to step over.
They are late for what may be a very good reason. Maybe they had to feed the baby, maybe the clothes in the dryer did not dry and they had to run it again. Maybe they forgot to set the alarm. I don’t know.
But I am sitting on the end because of knee surgery. All of the wraps, canes and crutches are gone, but the pain and stiffness remains. I sit there so that when we are sitting, I can bend my knee back and forth, so that when we stand, I do not fall.
I am sorry, but you will have to step over me. I don’t mean to be rude and I don’t do it to punish the late people. I do it so I don’t fall. So yes that end seat is that important.
How about this, I won’t judge the people that have to step over. Please don’t judge the people sitting on the end.

 

[redtech]

We’ve got some whoppers in our church.

There is a family that gets there 10 minutes late EVERY week. I just think its so rude. They also walk all the way up to the front. They are a large family and I realize that its hard to get kids ready sometimes. (they’re pre-teens and teens) but EVERY week? I have a daughter and another baby on the way. I’ve never been late to mass. I won’t say I will never be late but since their kids are older, I can’t imagine what excuse they have.

Then there is another older lady that won’t scoot down and hogs the aisle seat. She’s really rude about it too. She never smiles and she doesn’t shake hands when offering peace to each other. My daughter is one and a half and she loves shaking hands and she actually was tapping the lady on the arm to try to get her to shake hands. She just scowled at her. Then as people start going to communion, she leaves by going through one of the front doors. She actually fights against traffic as people are coming back to their seats. I don’t think she’s catholic because she never recieves. I just wonder why she’s there if she’s so miserable about it.

 

[ridesawhitehors]

All I can say is that more and more people have less and less discipline and respect - and expect others to accomodate them.
Getting you and your family to mass on time is EASY if you have any discipline in your family or personal life at all. There are always extenuating circumstances that come up occasionally… but as a rule, there is NO excuse for consistant delinquincy… its just our sloppy culture that treats everything so casually, and families pass it down to other families.
Kudos to any council that tries to do something about it. Its their responsibility to guard order in the parish. It IS their business.

 

[eirepinkie]

redtech:

We’ve got some whoppers in our church.

There is a family that gets there 10 minutes late EVERY week. I just think its so rude. They also walk all the way up to the front. They are a large family and I realize that its hard to get kids ready sometimes. (they’re pre-teens and teens) but EVERY week? I have a daughter and another baby on the way. I’ve never been late to mass. I won’t say I will never be late but since their kids are older, I can’t imagine what excuse they have.

Then there is another older lady that won’t scoot down and hogs the aisle seat. She’s really rude about it too. She never smiles and she doesn’t shake hands when offering peace to each other. My daughter is one and a half and she loves shaking hands and she actually was tapping the lady on the arm to try to get her to shake hands. She just scowled at her. Then as people start going to communion, she leaves by going through one of the front doors. She actually fights against traffic as people are coming back to their seats. I don’t think she’s catholic because she never recieves. I just wonder why she’s there if she’s so miserable about it.

I LOVE your daughter!

Yeah, I agree there. I’m happy to go to church, even by myself. Maybe she’s been going since childhood and for one reason or another, feels “obligated” to go even if she doesn’t believe?

Maybe she should be accompanied to her car by alter boys with candles, too.

~Stacey

 

[ILO]

oldfogey:

If I was told to “wait in the lobby” because I was late, I would immediately change my parish.

I think it would be better to immediately change your habit. Is your comfort really so important that you must disturb the reverence of everyone else?

ILO

 

[palmas85]

You see, you guys just don’t get it. So what if they are late? It’s their Mass anyway, come on get off of your high horse. This is the modern era. Show up on time, what an archaic concept. Concern for others why, the Mass isn’t for them. Lets get real bud, you are behind the curve on this one. Do what you wanna do and live how you wanna live. Freedom baby, freedom.

 

[Kielbasi]

yinekka:

I have just returned from a parish council meeting and the topic of persistent latecomers was brought up. I am not talking about the person who comes late once in a blue moon. We didn’t come to any decision as to what to do because “we mustn’t judge any one.”

Has this problem been solved in your parish? If so how?

When I was a kid , back in the 60s, the parish priest ordered the ushers to lock the doors at the beginning of mass.

Solved the problem of latecomers pretty efficiently.

 

[Krasnaya_Kometa]

Kielbasi:

When I was a kid , back in the 60s, the parish priest ordered the ushers to lock the doors at the beginning of mass.

Solved the problem of latecomers pretty efficiently.

That’s horrible. People will be late, some people simply can’t help it. For example, I know of a family that is chronically late, but they live fifteen miles away from the Church. Can’t fault them for that, at least they get there eventually. I’ve never seen them come in after the first reading, although I saw them come in during it once. And I kind of like their daughter so if they tried to keep her out I would not be happy. You’re basically condemning them, really, and that elevates tardyness to an unforgiveable sin, when in reality it isn’t a sin at all.

That said we have a rather small parish with a rather small worship area. Which I love because it’s easier to be more of a family that way. I went to a basilica not too long ago and just did not feel like I was in Church, or at the very least I didn’t feel like I was at home.

 

[CarrierOfChrist]

Krasnaya Kometa:

That’s horrible. People will be late, some people simply can’t help it. For example, I know of a family that is chronically late, but they live fifteen miles away from the Church. Can’t fault them for that, at least they get there eventually. I’ve never seen them come in after the first reading, although I saw them come in during it once. And I kind of like their daughter so if they tried to keep her out I would not be happy. You’re basically condemning them, really, and that elevates tardyness to an unforgiveable sin, when in reality it isn’t a sin at all.

That said we have a rather small parish with a rather small worship area. Which I love because it’s easier to be more of a family that way. I went to a basilica not too long ago and just did not feel like I was in Church, or at the very least I didn’t feel like I was at home.

I used to live 28 miles away from our parish and I can tell you that if we were ever late, it was because of a flat tire or some act of nature. We can make the small sacrafice of getting up extra early in the morning and making sure we make it to church on time.

I must confess that I do just barely make it to mass on time quite often. I need to work on getting to mass earlier. I am not talking about this as a matter of just timeliness, so-to-speak, but as a matter of reverence and more time for prayer before the mass begins.

I don’t understand what you mean by “did not feel like I was in Church.” Could you please elaborate?

God Bless - Christina

 

[Darrel]

Best bet is to offer them a seat and be sure to say “Peace Be With You” when the time comes. I’m sure we have all kinds of luke warm Catholics treating Mass like there going to work with an attendance policy. Why should I be bothered if someone comes into Church late? If I see they are nervous because they are late I feel bad for them and want them to feel welcome.

Dont we have anything bigger to worry about? Go after a policy for being quiet in adoration or something.

-D