Latin Mass Only

[mesurman]

Here is the story.

My daughter had a baby a year and two months ago. My daughter and the father have matured and come to the decision to be married after much discussion and counseling with our Parish Priest. Both are in their early to mid twenties. This is a good thing. Now comes the problem. My future son-in-laws’ mother refuses to attend the wedding because the Mass will NOT be in Latin, nor will she allow her husband and two daughters attend either. What am I to do? This has been a long road for the last two years. I do not want to overreact and exacerbate the situation. Any suggestions? Anyone else here have similar situations they have dealt with?

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Clearly being a Latin Mass Only family did not prevent a grandchild out of marriage, but never mind. If it will make the woman happy have a Latin wedding. No biggie. It is a beautiful liturgy. After the wedding, however, someone might want to take the time to explain to her that denial of the legitimacy of the non-Latin Mass is a heresy.

 

[1ke]

Any suggestions?

Tell them they will be missed, and move on.

Seriously, there isn’t much you can do with someone who thinks they are more Catholic than the Pope. It’s almost a mental illness. Self-absorbed to the point of rejecting legitimate authority in the matter of the Liturgy. It’s not a battle you can win.

If there is a priest that your future SIL can have talk to them, maybe they can be gotten through to, but I doubt it.

 

[1ke]

If it will make the woman happy have a Latin wedding. No biggie. It is a beautiful liturgy.

It is perhaps a “biggie” if the parish in which they are being married does not offer the Extraordinary or the Ordinary Form in Latin. The priest, altar servers, etc, must be trained in the Extraordinary Form and not many are. In our diocese there is one parish offering the EF and it’s over an hour’s drive away.

We do not have any details on where the couple is marrying, and why they have chosen the Ordinary Form. I’m assuming it is that they are marrying in the bride’s parish-- which may not even offer either form in Latin.

The mother-in-law is being unreasonable and prideful. And, if she misses her own son’s wedding, it’s her own fault.

 

[shannyk]

I agree with 1ke wholeheartedly. Make your wedding plans, send her and invite, and move on. It’s ridiculous of her to demand the wedding be to her specifications and threaten not to come if it isn’t. She sounds quite immature.

 

[Em_in_FL]

What are the opinions of the Bride and Groom? I think their thoughts should be considered first and foremost - otherwise it’s just griping IL’s on both sides…

It’s THEIR wedding… they need to decide what they want. Then inform the parents.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

Time for the son to decide for himself what to do. And if the FIL and sisters don’t attend, that is their loss.

Being more Catholic than the Pope often ends up with people being far less Catholic than the pope.

You don’t have to do anything but be supportive and leave it to your daughter, future SIL and the priest they are working with.

Attend the wedding and wish them well.

Your daughter will have in-law issues on that side. You can be the good in-laws.

 

[mesurman]

Thanks to all.

My daughter is being married in our parish by an excellent priest. The mother of my future SIL has already said she will not attend the Wedding Mass, period. The other members of her family are not going because she is controlling and will be really upset if they attend. My daughter and future SIL are continuing with their plans.

 

[mesurman]

Clearly being a Latin Mass Only family did not prevent a grandchild out of marriage, but never mind. If it will make the woman happy have a Latin wedding. No biggie. It is a beautiful liturgy. After the wedding, however, someone might want to take the time to explain to her that denial of the legitimacy of the non-Latin Mass is a heresy.

Thanks for the comment about the pregnancy. It really stinks when your kids don’t listen, but thanks for rubbing salt in the wound. Regarding making the woman happy, it is not her wedding, she can stay home it is her choice.

 

[Norseman82]

Thanks to all.

My daughter is being married in our parish by an excellent priest. The mother of my future SIL has already said she will not attend the Wedding Mass, period. The other members of her family are not going because she is controlling and will be really upset if they attend. My daughter and future SIL are continuing with their plans.

Where is the SIL’s father in all of this?

Is it possible that there are deeper issues here, like she is trying to punish her son for an out-of-wedlock pregnancy? (Please do not take that as a “rubbing salt in the wounds” type of comment).

Is she a sedevacantist?

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Thanks for the comment about the pregnancy. It really stinks when your kids don’t listen, but thanks for rubbing salt in the wound. Regarding making the woman happy, it is not her wedding, she can stay home it is her choice.

Sorry, I was thinking in terms of the mil being more Catholic than Pope as one poster put it.

 

[1ke]

Thanks for the comment about the pregnancy. It really stinks when your kids don’t listen, but thanks for rubbing salt in the wound. Regarding making the woman happy, it is not her wedding, she can stay home it is her choice.

I don’t think this was a comment meant to be salt in the wound towards you or your daughter.

I believe it was attempt at pointing out the *irony *of the future IL’s misplaced superiority complex towards non-Latin mass attendees.

I can see how you would take it as an insult to your daughter. But really, that’s now how it read to me.

 

[Norseman82]

I don’t think this was a comment meant to be salt in the wound towards you or your daughter.

I believe it was attempt at pointing out the *irony *of the future IL’s misplaced superiority complex towards non-Latin mass attendees.

I can see how you would take it as an insult to your daughter. But really, that’s now how it read to me.

Yes, I read it in the vein of the SIL’s mother “straining the gnat while swallowing the camel”, i.e., teaching her son to keep his zipper closed is more important than insisting a Mass be in Latin. Violation of the former is grave matter, while a valid Mass that is not in Latin is not even a sin!

 

[mesurman]

Sorry, I was thinking in terms of the mil being more Catholic than Pope as one poster put it.

Thanks. That thought has been gnawing at me since I responded to your post. This is a highly emotional situation for my wife and I. I took your comment the wrongway. I apologise. I also feel that the mother is trying to get back at her son and my daughter for the embarrassment they caused. I am forging ahead in forgiveness the way I want God to forgive me. I love my daughter and my granddaughter and I will learn to love my future SIL. God is good. God Bless you all. I guess I was just looking to vent and some confirmation on my movement forward.

 

[kage_ar]

Tell them they will be missed, and move on.

Seriously, there isn’t much you can do with someone who thinks they are more Catholic than the Pope. It’s almost a mental illness. Self-absorbed to the point of rejecting legitimate authority in the matter of the Liturgy. It’s not a battle you can win.

If there is a priest that your future SIL can have talk to them, maybe they can be gotten through to, but I doubt it.

I’d go as far as to buy her a copy of the book by that title - “More Catholic Than The Pope”

books.google.com/books?id=71n5G94Mf0AC&printsec=frontcover&dq=more+catholic+than+the+pope&ei=d6xwSpGqGKKUMujq1eYO