Lay carmelite and Marriage

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shorin69

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I apologise if I ask you a silly question. I was reading about the Lay Carmelites and I am confused I read that when a person make the final vow make the promise of chastity… I a person is single and meet a girl who want to marry and have kids? In other words what about marriage sexuality?

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Fr. John Hardon, S.J. and the Modern Catholic Dictionary to the rescue!
CHASTITY. The virtue that moderates the desire for sexual pleasure according to the principles of faith and right reason. In married people, chastity moderates the desire in conformity with their state of life; in unmarried people who wish to marry, the desire is moderated by abstention until (or unless) they get married; in those who resolve not to marry, the desire is sacrificed entirely.

Chastity and purity, modesty and decency are comparable in that they have the basic meaning of freedom from whatever is lewd or salacious. Yet they also differ. Chastity implies an opposition to the immoral in the sense of lustful or licentious. It suggests refraining from all acts or thoughts that are not in accordance with the Church’s teaching about the use of one’s reproductive powers. It particularly stresses restraint and an avoidance of anything that might defile or make unclean the soul because the body has not been controlled in the exercise of its most imperious passion. (Etym. Latin castus , morally pure, unstained.)
 
You can be a lay Carmelite and still be married. I believe there is a lay Carmelite right on this forum (@Dorothy ) who has stated in previous posts that she joined when she was married with children.

It’s also my understanding that lay Carmelites typically do not take “vows”, only promises. In some cases they may as a final step make vows of obedience and chastity, but the chastity is “in accordance with one’s state in life” which means if you are married then you are allowed to have the normal, permitted sexuality with your spouse, basically just live according to the Church’s teaching for married people.
 
You are correct. And, there are several married couples in the Lay Carmelite Communities I know of.
 
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