Regarding Lay Catholic Deacons A man contiplating to become a lay deacon A 45 year old soon to be divorced from a civil marraige has two grown up daughters 19 & 23 never got married in the church still open minded to have a spouse if God permits Can he still become a deacon? UPON entering deaconate he has a girlfriend is obligaged to quit the deaconate even though he has full intentions to marry this individual
How about intimacy? Or do you have to be celebate?
CONFUSED MIND WANTS TO KNOW WHAT ARE HIS OPTIONS
?:confu
sed:
There are several points you bring up which concern me. First of all, there is no such thing in the Catholic Church as a “lay deacon”, as another poster has explained.
Second, if you are being divorced you would not even be accepted for the inquirery. A deacon candidate must be an example to the faithful of how to live within and by Church doctrine and teachings. Marriage outside of the Church and a divorce are not in line with what is proper. This does not mean that one could not “work out” these issues and come into full communion and be reconciled, and then be accepted; but all of the work will be up to you, not the Church.
Third, if you are “open minded” to have a spouse, then you need to discern that first, not the diaconate. The diaconate is a life changing adventure; it is not a club or a sideline job. It is a 24-7, 365 vocation. After ordination you will forever be a member of the clergy, at work, at home, at Church, everywhere. It is not an elected position or title like many other denominations; it entails an ontological change which leaves an indelible mark on a man’s soul.
Fourth, the girlfriend, if you are dating at the time of formation your bishop and diocese will give guidelines; it will be up to your bishop if you are allowed to continue. Our bishop feels that it is okay to be in a relationship while in formation. The time will come when decisions will have to be made, until then just keep going. If the decision is made to marry, then you will most definitely be asked to leave the program to return after some time of marriage, you will not be ordained while in a non-married relationship. Our diocese is an informal five years. I say informal because it is an unwritten rule as far as I know. But after all issues are taken care of to make things regular, and after some time prescribed by the diocese, then the person can re-apply and possibly be accepted and pick up where he left off. But remember this is up to the local ordinary, the bishop.
Fifth, this one bothers me most of all. What are you asking? Is it ok to be intimate with your girlfriend? Sex is only acceptable in marriage, sacramental marriage; anything outside of that is fornication and grave sin. So outside of marriage, intimacy is rightfully forbidden and places in jeopardy your immortal soul, this includes sex in a civil marriage. This is why people in these situations should refrain from Holy Communion.
Sixth, ordained men are required to be celibate by discipline of the Latin Rite Church. There are only exceptions (exceptions is not the proper term) in permanent deacons and priests who have converted into the Church and ordained into the Latin Rite priesthood. Ordained men do not marry; only in very rare circumstances will Rome grant permission for a deacon to re-marry after being widowed. In other words, if you are ordained as a single man, you will be required to make the promise of celibacy, or take this vow if entering a community, i.e. non-secular clergy.
