Learning from life's struggles

[cmscms]

Hi everyone,

Please bear with me because I have a lot of thoughts running around my head and I am not sure I can write them in a clear way.

It is often said that through life’s struggles, we grow closer to God and gain more gifts/virtues such as patience and charity and a whole list of others.

However, I often struggle with the same type of issues and honestly, for the amount of suffering I have gone through, I don’t think I have learnt a lot.

I do admit that I do try to continually seek God out, but no more than I did 15 years ago so I don’t think I have grown closer to God. As for charity, I have LESS of it than I use to . I use to have a strong mentally that whenver I went through a trial and no one was there for me, I would make sure that if ever I met someone going through a similar trial, I would be there for them. Now, I am just so worn out of going through trials alone, if I was to meet someone going through a similar trial, the only thing I would be able to give them is honesty ie I would say ‘I know this hurts, I went through it myself, but since no one was there for me, I don’t have it in me to give what I never received. I will pray for you but I am not going to sugar coat it, you have a long road ahead and there is little I can do’. Admitedly that is probably not what anyone wants to hear, but it really is all I have to offer.

Also, always ending up with the same struggles is really starting to take a toll on my self-esteem and I am starting to get humiliated. I have to wonder why I can’t learn.

One thing I have learnt is to choose my battles and if I don’t think someone will take me seriously, I don’t waste time trying to explain my point of view because I realize it will only give me a headache. Well… there are a few situations where I am starting to resent people.

And lastly, (and this is a big one), I am trying to do God’s will but sometimes I just feel like I am like a little kid believing in Santa Claus ie I often have seen crhistmas specials where kids think Santa will make their divorced parents get back to gether or that Santa will bring back a dead parent. And I wonder ‘Am I fooling myself thinking God will help me’. I do want to thumble myself and accept His will, but it does not change that I have my part to do. For example, if I want to loose weight, I can’t just pray ‘Dear Lord, make me skinny’. I need to pray for God’s help then hit the gym and eat healthy. Other situations in life are no so clear cut. So, it is very hard for me to trust in God, when I don’t directly hear Him telling me what to do.

So, now that I have let my rant out about my never ending confusion, can people share how trials have made them closer to God and what they had to do

CM

 

[tbcrawford]

Hi CM I am so sorry you are having such a tough time.
I too have had some tough times in my life.

For me though when I hear of or come across someone who is going through an experience I have had I have total empathy and sympathy for them and try to pray for them and help them in any way I can.
I have experiences a lot of heartache and worry through the years…the death of those family members we love and miss terribly, relationship problems, child loss,pregnancy worries, worries over beahviour of adult children,worries for my grandhcildren,health concerns, cancer…caring for family members,homeless…my life expreiences have touched on so many painful topics.

I have had crisis’ of faith on a few occasions in the past.

In the past few years I have built a very close relationship with God.I feel all my prayers are answered. I place all my trust in God that His will be done.

I have a completely different persepctive now than when I was younger.I have been inspired by reading about some of the saints and their struggles.I have read a lot of bible passages.Most of all I have built a prayer life that I enjoy and this has brought me closer than ever before to God.

Don’t be hard on yourself you have suffered and these struggles have an impact on each of us,it is only natural to feel as you do. I pray God will comfort you and guide you.

(((Hugs)))

God bless

 

[chevalier]

Hey, CMS. Well, same here but you know something… Sometimes burnout hits you and you need to take a small vacation. Or a big one if the problem is more serious. Change the environment for a while, do something different, make sure the needs typically neglected by strong people (food, warmth, water, sleep) are covered, as they’re awful mood lowerers but can be fixed so easily; it’s similar when certain nutritious ingredients are missing, e.g. magnesium when one gulps a coffee after coffee, which often happens to me and chocolate isn’t a bad hotfix. It’s amazing how much those small things can mess up (and without need). If it’s something psychological, reading a book or two and getting a better understanding of what’s going on sometimes helps. In theological matters, if old answers aren’t satisfying probably new ones must be sought. Carry on but have a cup of good green tea (long brewed) or something like that.