Leaving a Nuptial Mass Early

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jesusalright4me

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Hey guys! So I could use your opinion on this.

I recently attended a Nuptial mass I wasn’t officially invited to. I knew the bride and the groom, and I was told to come by mutual friends. It was a TLM, and I wanted to see what a Nuptial High Mass looked like. It was generally assumed that the bride and the groom wouldn’t care if I was there, as long as I didn’t go to the reception (since, you know, food costs money).

I sat out of sight in the choir loft with some of my friends who were recording the wedding. It was a beautiful mass, in fact the most beautiful Nuptial mass I have ever been to. However, I found it hard to enter into the mass because I felt weird having not been officially invited. It felt off. So, after the sermon, I quietly exited the choir loft and hung out in the church’s lounge the rest of the time.

Was leaving mass early this case a grave matter, in which case I should go to the Sacrament of Penance? In any case, I was not planning on receiving communion, so I thought that leaving before the Mass of the Faithful/Liturgy of the Eucharist was the most appropriate time. (in hindsight, I found out that the couple really did not care if a few extra guests showed up to hear mass).
 
Whatever could make you think that leaving a nuptial Mass is even a minor sin? Of course it is not.

It would be the same for walking in on a weekday Mass, or having gone to Mass on Sunday, entering for a brief time at a second Sunday mass and then leaving.
 
While I see what you’re saying, isn’t one supposed to participate in the entire mass as soon as it starts (or, if one arrives late for good reason, as soon as they get there?)
 
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I know it is, and the silly thing is I knew that going into the mass. It just felt really strange since I never have actually gone to a wedding uninvited, and got somewhat paranoid. In hindsight, I should have just sat in the pews and stayed the whole time, but I overthought things 🤷‍♂️
 
Yes, for any mass which is considered obligatory - which are only Masses on a Sunday or a holy day of obligation.

There is absolutely no obligation attached to any other Mass.
 
That makes sense. But even if it is allowed, it still would feel odd to, say, leave mass early at a daily mass. Without those words “Ite missa est” uttered by the priest, something seems off, you know?
 
You are asking a question about feelings.

Feelings come and feelings go; they change and morph.

They are not grounds for making decisions; logic and truth are.

No, I do not know that something “seems (feels) off” leaving early at a daily Mass. It is almost always done for a reason, such as a schedule requiring one to be somewhere else, like at work, in conflict with staying to the end of Mass. I have on an occasion had to leave Mass early on a weekday. I have made that decision based on the circumstances at the time.

You left because you felt uncomfortable staying to the end of the nuptial Mass, and now you feel uncomfortable about leaving that Mass. I am not saying your feelings are wrong; only that they are not grounds for making decisions concerning leaving Mass or not leaving Mass.

Having feelings is not bad or wrong. They are just a fact of life. Feelings may coincide with making a bad decision; or they may contradict our need to make a decision. Feelings are not the cause of making a bad decision; choice is the reason we make bad decisions (also referred to as free will).

Feelings may also accompany making a good decision; but if one then decides to make decisions based on feelings, one is going to end up making some wrong decisions (which may or may not have any moral consequences).

It appears you are young; one of the lessons of life is that feelings are usually a very poor reason upon which to make decisions. Facts are a far better basis.
 
jesusalright4me said:
I recently attended a Nuptial mass I wasn’t officially invited to. I knew the bride and the groom, and I was told to come by mutual friends. It was a TLM, and I wanted to see what a Nuptial High Mass looked like. It was generally assumed that the bride and the groom wouldn’t care if I was there, as long as I didn’t go to the reception (since, you know, food costs money).
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All masses are open to the public. Masses are not private. You did nothing wrong by attending.

It was fine that you left, but it was unnecessary.

I don’t know why you would think it was any sort of sin to leave mass early.
 
I am definitely of the younger crowd. And don’t get me wrong, I agree with you on feelings. I just needed that reminder. Feelings can correspond with truth or with falsehood, the importance is that we use faith and reason to determine which one they correspond with.

Thanks for the encouragement/pointing me to the facts!
 
I don’t mean to come across as mean. I am 72, so " been there, done that, got a closet full of t shirts". I gathered you are young. Just consider it some grandfatherly advice.
 
1ke said:
All masses are open to the public. Masses are not private.
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Well, yes and no. I’ve attended more than one Mass at the abbot’s private chapel in the monastery I’m associated with. The chapel is in the cloister, and you’d better not be there unless by invitation, if you’re not a cloistered member of the community. Fortunately I was invited! (as an aside I work at the abbey and have access to the cloister for my work, but I only use that privilege when my work requires it).

But your point is well taken, any Mass is open to the public that is in a publicly-accessible church or chapel.
 
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