Leaving Mass early.

[mlz]

If they are like me, they were taught from an early age that the sanctuary is not the place for visiting with others. The church I grew up in had a basement where we went after Mass for coffee and donuts and we visited with friends there. If you don’t have that kind of space available at your parish that might be why people don’t socialize.

I do understand about the sanctuary, but we have a beautiful “gathering” area just outside the sanctuary doors. It must be our parish or past practice there.

mlz

 

[Exorcist]

I am a new convert and before I became Catholic and my husband and I attended we were so amazed how FAST Catholics leave after church! (We’ve been protestant all our lives and been to various churches and Catholics at this parish we went to left the fastest we’ve ever seen - my husband dubbed it “The Catholic 500”!

Now that I’m Catholic and am so amazed with the Mass it seem so wrong to leave before it is over mainly because I see myself as “part” of the Mass with the rest of the Body of Christ. Unless it’s an emergency or something not typical I can’t see why anyone should have to leave before the Mass is over. Humility would show honor to those in charge and the priest should leave before the rest in my opinion.

In Him,
mlz

P.S. Why is it Catholics don’t want to visit with others after Mass? At least some… This is something I miss…fellowship with others. Discussing the homily, our week, our struggles, our life and praying for each other…maybe it’s our parish?

Out here in California we Catholics have never made the investment in vocations and churches to allow smaller parishes in many cases where it is far easier to socialize. One of the absolute most horrid things of many Catholic parishes is running them like factories. 4, 5, 6+ Masses/day. That’s not healthy.

Now of course some will immediately retort with “at least we have a parish church”, “thank God that many people want to attend Mass”, yada, yada, yada, when in reality it’s not a healthy situation for a parish.

The people I attend Mass with are remarkably programmed too. One Sunday morning a (fairly new) couple put on a buffet breakfast for us after Mass. It was announced two weeks ahead of time, then the week before and once again at the Mass just before the breakfast.

Sure enough at the end of Mass 90% or more of the people scurried away as always. My pastor wanted to talk about something and when we were done he asked me to head over to the hall with him for breakfast. I had not planned on it but I went.

I had no idea what to expect. The man and his wife own a restaurant across town. They and 4 paid staffers (all in chef’s whites) has layed-out a brunch that would have put the Waldorf Astoria to shame. And there were possibly 20-30 (of perhaps 300) there. It was sad.

After consuming about 7,500 calories and getting a “doggie platter” that could feed a family of four normal people for a week, I was on my way. I drove past a couple of greasy spoons on the way home with parking lots filled with cars I recognize from Mass.

The couple never did this again and who could blame them?

There is one final reason that comes to mind why people don’t hand around. They’ve just had it with the parish/pastor long ago and they come specifically to satisfy their Sunday obligation. I would guess 20-30% of my parish is like that.

 

[SMHW]

How sad!

My California parish loves it when we have pancake breakfasts, fiestas,and other things going on. And while probably two thirds of the people do leave right away after Mass there is always a big contingent that hangs out in the courtyard / gathering space to have coffee and donuts or just to socialize. (Well, sadly a lot of them started socializing while still inside the church --but our tabernacle is in a separate chapel so those who want to pray do have a place to go.)

 

[Exorcist]

How sad!

My California parish loves it when we have pancake breakfasts, fiestas,and other things going on. And while probably two thirds of the people do leave right away after Mass there is always a big contingent that hangs out in the courtyard / gathering space to have coffee and donuts or just to socialize. (Well, sadly a lot of them started socializing while still inside the church --but our tabernacle is in a separate chapel so those who want to pray do have a place to go.)

That’s excellent. My parish used to be like that when I was a kid. I remember going to 9:00 Mass, going home, changing clothes and then going to a parish BBQ. Very, very different feel today.

As I said in the case of my parish, many have been treated poorly by pastors and others over the years at the parish. Some of those that remain are very hard-shelled about things. They go to fulfill their obligation and then they are gone.

 

[fastenatingguy]

Reading some of these posts I wonder what has happened to common sense. A few people are quoting technicalities like when the Deacon says what or where the Priest was when or what verse was being sung? If you stop and think about it doesn’t that all seem silly. I mean you just received the Lord into your body, the same God who if he stopped thinking of you for even a split second, you would cease to exist. How is anything other than a major medical, life or death ie. serious issue more important than your Lord? You can’t make it 5 more minutes? A football game, a good seat for breakfast? Really? And yes it’s quite chilly way up here on this high horse but c’mon really, this should be a no brainier, of course it’s rude to eat and run. I think common sense dictates here.

Thanks for the common sense.

My wife does not attend mass anymore. My 16 year old son and I attend together and it is more likely that we get there a minute or two late than ever thinking about leaving early. Not that being late is right, it isn’t. I have just instilled in my son that when the music is over, that is when we can think about leaving.

We can all do better, so let’s pray for that.

 

[ByzCathCantor]

My wife does not attend mass anymore. My 16 year old son and I attend together and it is more likely that we get there a minute or two late than ever thinking about leaving early. Not that being late is right, it isn’t. I have just instilled in my son that when the music is over, that is when we can think about leaving.

We can all do better, so let’s pray for that.

We will pray for you and your family, as well as for all of us!

It is great that you are instilling the sense of “proper” in your son. It truly does fall on us as Catholic parents to be good examples and the primary catechists of respectful and reverent worship. Looking back, I know I can thank my grandmothers and my godfather as well as my parents for their example in this regard,

 

[fastenatingguy]

We will pray for you and your family, as well as for all of us!

It is great that you are instilling the sense of “proper” in your son. It truly does fall on us as Catholic parents to be good examples and the primary catechists of respectful and reverent worship. Looking back, I know I can thank my grandmothers and my godfather as well as my parents for their example in this regard,

Thank you, training a boy is like training a puppy. I was one once.

Eventually…we get it.

I just thought about this phenomenon at our parish. The 9:30 Mass is by far the most crowded with families, followed by 11:00. But every so often we attend 6:45 (“Dad, do we have to get up THAT early?”) and 8:00 where the crowd is older and there are few small children. When there are fewer attending, almost nobody leaves early. It seems that there may be “strength in numbers” and “monkey see, monkey do” for those that leave early (whether that is right after communion OR after the end of the song. (ag123, I know when the Mass ends according to GIRM, but I think it is proper to “finish”).

 

[fastenatingguy]

Out here in California we Catholics have never made the investment in vocations and churches to allow smaller parishes in many cases where it is far easier to socialize. One of the absolute most horrid things of many Catholic parishes is running them like factories. 4, 5, 6+ Masses/day. That’s not healthy.

Now of course some will immediately retort with “at least we have a parish church”, “thank God that many people want to attend Mass”, yada, yada, yada, when in reality it’s not a healthy situation for a parish.

The people I attend Mass with are remarkably programmed too. One Sunday morning a (fairly new) couple put on a buffet breakfast for us after Mass. It was announced two weeks ahead of time, then the week before and once again at the Mass just before the breakfast.

Sure enough at the end of Mass 90% or more of the people scurried away as always. My pastor wanted to talk about something and when we were done he asked me to head over to the hall with him for breakfast. I had not planned on it but I went.

I had no idea what to expect. The man and his wife own a restaurant across town. They and 4 paid staffers (all in chef’s whites) has layed-out a brunch that would have put the Waldorf Astoria to shame. And there were possibly 20-30 (of perhaps 300) there. It was sad.

After consuming about 7,500 calories and getting a “doggie platter” that could feed a family of four normal people for a week, I was on my way. I drove past a couple of greasy spoons on the way home with parking lots filled with cars I recognize from Mass.

The couple never did this again and who could blame them?

There is one final reason that comes to mind why people don’t hand around. They’ve just had it with the parish/pastor long ago and they come specifically to satisfy their Sunday obligation. I would guess 20-30% of my parish is like that.

That is a disappointment. Usually around Chicago, a free meal means a huge crowd.

We have a boy scout pancake breakfast once yearly and we get maybe 1/3 of the attendance from each mass, plus some people that don’t attend mass but come out for the food. We don’t charge but it is a fund raiser. Most people are extremely generous.

 

[fastenatingguy]

Out here in California we Catholics have never made the investment in vocations and churches to allow smaller parishes in many cases where it is far easier to socialize. One of the absolute most horrid things of many Catholic parishes is running them like factories. 4, 5, 6+ Masses/day. That’s not healthy.

Exorcist,

Would you elaborate on this? I am not sure I understand your point.

My parish is enormous by Chicago standards. Our Basilica was built with that in mind. We have six Sunday Masses and five priests, so either one visiting priest or one priest pulls double duty. Since I have attended for all my 54 years, I don’t think of it as a factory. I think of it as my home (although God’s house). But some could consider it a factory.

 

[thistle]

Out here in California we Catholics have never made the investment in vocations and churches to allow smaller parishes in many cases where it is far easier to socialize. One of the absolute most horrid things of many Catholic parishes is running them like factories. ** 4, 5, 6+ Masses/day. That’s not healthy**.

That is a ridiculous comment to make and not for you to judge.

Our parish has 14,000 parishioners and we get an average 80%+ Mass attendance.
To accommodate everyone we have 10 Masses every Sunday.
Are you suggesting that most parishioners should just stay at home and not fulfill their Sunday obligation???

 

[fastenatingguy]

That is a ridiculous comment to make and not for you to judge.

Our parish has 14,000 parishioners and we get an average 80%+ Mass attendance.
To accommodate everyone we have 10 Masses every Sunday.
Are you suggesting that most parishioners should just stay at home and not fulfill their Sunday obligation???

I hope that isn’t his point. It may be that he means a smaller congregation has advantages. I am sure that he will elaborate.

But that is a wonderful testament to your parish! In my parish in Chicago, we have a small but vibrant number of Filipino American families, and they represent the growth in our parish and school. We were heavily Irish/Bohemian/Bavarian 50 years ago, but today it is more watered down (and more Italian and Polish).

 

[MissRose73]

I used to be one of those who left before the final blessing but have repented my ways & do not do so now. Priests really need to emphasize from the pulpit the importance of staying until the final blessing & him leaving the worship space during the recessional hymn.