Leaving mass immediately after receiving

[Abigail]

kage_ar

Thanks for your encouragement!

I do think the situation will work itself out eventually, but it will probably take a while. The last pastor only lasted a few months, and the new one has only been there a couple weeks…

Basically what’s happened is that there is an “in-group” and an “out-group.” The people who run the church are in the “in-group” and filter information to the pastor, who then supports them. Members of the “out-group” who have complained about being made to feel unwelcome find that they are considered the problem… I hear this is pretty common in Protestant churches, too.

No pastor can make a group of people like another group of people – he can tell them to be more welcoming and charitable, but if they are determined to exclude those who don’t share their beliefs, all that will happen is that they will greet you with an icy smile and a limp handshake. Members of this group practice actual “shunning,” where they will turn away physically from those who don’t meet their standards, and shield their faces from them. Not a pretty thing at all…and I really don’t blame a priest for not believing it goes on.

 

[ELROD]

Well, I read a lot of interesting comments from different ones here. I suppose being compared to Judas should upset me more than it does but not being by nature a dramatic person, knowing to a large extent it is true, knowing that I have made up my mind to not continue that bad practise is good enough for me. I remember several months ago I had gone to confession to the above mentioned priest and I was telling him what a really rotten person I was mostly talking to him about the “7 deadly sin” type of stuff. I was saying that I fell so short of being anywhere like Jesus and no matter what I tried I would fail miserably before I even got one foot out the door. He laughed, loudly, and told me that I had a very large amount of company in that regard. Anyway thanks to all for the support. I am jealous of those that have some choice of masses. Like one gal said, if you don’t live in a well populated catholic area, not much to choose from. I would have to drive for 3 hours to get to a tradional latin mass. Maybe I would’t like it but I imagine I would. Wow, I just sinned by being Jealous, I guess. Lord help me!

 

[bpbasilphx]

I’m dependent on public transportation.

On Holy Thursday, I visited another parish which started late. The Maundy, of course, was protracted, even though they had two priests.

I had to leave right after Communion to catch the bus home. Otherwise, I couldn’t have gotten back home!

 

[EasterJoy]

I’m probably going to regret posting this but, I will do it. Yesterday, at the Saturday Mass, the homily was only about the fact that many people have been observed leaving Mass right after receiving communion and how this made the priest feel and many of the reasons he imagined for why people did this and what it meant for the state of their soul or at least the sort of flippant regard this indicated for the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I know it is wrong to do this. Having said that, I have been leaving just like he said.
What I don’t agree with are all the reasons that he said tht it indicated about how people felt regarding the body and blood of Jesus.
I basically became convinced of the truth of the Catholic Church back from approx 1998 through 2002 by studing the faith on the internet, downloading apologetic material, articles et commentary on catholic web sites reading several books by Chesteron et others. I began going to RCIA before I ever attended Mass. You would not believe the way RCIA is taught at the church I went to. I overheard one of the instructors, who was a convert from a protestant religion ask the priest what she should tell her protestant friends when they asked her if the host really became to body of blood of Jesus Christ. He said that she could tell them "no it doesn’t. My daughter heard him say it also. When I go to Mass anywhere around here it is more like a three ring circus than any solemn worship. The people who do the music are always trying some new song, or pounding their guitars or playing over the top of the priest who doesn’t seem to care a bit anyway. I could go on and on about what goes on and on and I know this is wrong too.
So the priest was sort of scowling the all through the mass. I recieved communion and went back to my place. There was no mediation or reverence, he immediatly said, before he gave the blessing that a couple wanted to give a little presentation regarding some Encounter Group or something of the kind. Then he went through a list of announcements. Then the blessing, then the horrible music started up again. I love the Catholic faith but I would like it to be more orthodox. I know I am a rotten person and a terrible sinner. We have had new priests from time to time but they just seem to go with to flow. I have tried to keep a better attitude but nothing ever changes except for the worse. I have left out a lot. I don’t know why I’m even posting this.

Well, talking to other people when you are frustrated is a healthy habit. If you do it on the internet, you need to have a thick skin, but you do get a lot of feedback.

I know a guy who would hear your story and say: True, True, and Unrelated. Correlation and causation aren’t the same thing. You’re a sinner. You’re surrounded by sinners. If you took out a sinner and threw a saint into the mix, there would still be a lot of sinners, albeit sinners with a bright spot in their midst. You are in a truly bad spot, I’m not saying you aren’t, but truly bad spots are not a new thing in this vale of tears. It’s the default condition.

You and your pastor are both frustrated, neither one of you knows what to do about it, and undoubtedly the truth is that this is simply something that is, in many ways, out of your direct control. You pray, you do what you can, and you give up the rest to God.

I guess I have nothing to offer, save to go back to this old chestnut:

GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference.

Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did,
this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen
Reinhold Neibuhr-1926

 

[EasterJoy]

Please, call and schedule a meeting with the Pastor. Explain to him that parishioners have told you that you are not holy enough to attend Mass. He will take care of that!!

Um, or he may let out a deep breath and mutter that you can take a number. This is probably not the first time the pastor will have heard about similar behavior. God is not a control freak, and He doesn’t give his priests that kind of direct power. I know priests that are fully aware they can’t change this kind of thing. That doesn’t mean they don’t believe it happens.

Still, if one were not to go expecting the pastor to make everything right, but just telling him that you feel hurt and need someone discrete to talk to about it, I would think he might help you a lot. Maybe he can do something, maybe he can’t, but he can probably console you, validate that the behavior is out of bounds, and help you figure out how to accept this as human weakness. He’ll talk to someone or to the group, I would think, if you two decide it might help, but he won’t tell a soul, if you ask him not to.

If not, well, the drive to see a priest at a local retreat center would be worth the time and trouble. A kind ear and wise advice can make all the difference, even if the advice isn’t a single thing you didn’t know already.

 

[puzzleannie]

I’m probably going to regret posting this but, I will do it. Yesterday, at the Saturday Mass, the homily was only about the fact that many people have been observed leaving Mass right after receiving communion and how this made the priest feel and many of the reasons he imagined for why people did this and what it meant for the state of their soul or at least the sort of flippant regard this indicated for the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I know it is wrong to do this. Having said that, I have been leaving just like he said.
What I don’t agree with are all the reasons that he said tht it indicated about how people felt regarding the body and blood of Jesus.
I basically became convinced of the truth of the Catholic Church back from approx 1998 through 2002 by studing the faith on the internet, downloading apologetic material, articles et commentary on catholic web sites reading several books by Chesteron et others. I began going to RCIA before I ever attended Mass. You would not believe the way RCIA is taught at the church I went to. I overheard one of the instructors, who was a convert from a protestant religion ask the priest what she should tell her protestant friends when they asked her if the host really became to body of blood of Jesus Christ. He said that she could tell them "no it doesn’t. My daughter heard him say it also. When I go to Mass anywhere around here it is more like a three ring circus than any solemn worship. The people who do the music are always trying some new song, or pounding their guitars or playing over the top of the priest who doesn’t seem to care a bit anyway. I could go on and on about what goes on and on and I know this is wrong too.
So the priest was sort of scowling the all through the mass. I recieved communion and went back to my place. There was no mediation or reverence, he immediatly said, before he gave the blessing that a couple wanted to give a little presentation regarding some Encounter Group or something of the kind. Then he went through a list of announcements. Then the blessing, then the horrible music started up again. I love the Catholic faith but I would like it to be more orthodox. I know I am a rotten person and a terrible sinner. We have had new priests from time to time but they just seem to go with to flow. I have tried to keep a better attitude but nothing ever changes except for the worse. I have left out a lot. I don’t know why I’m even posting this.

I think you would be doing a great service to your pastor and parish if you sat down with him and explained exactly what you have said here. Gently try to show him how his words do not match the situation in your parish, and that your experience illustrates some of the causes for the very irreverance he bemoans.

Welcome Home! don’t judge the Church by the behavior of Catholics! fortunately we are forever renewed by the entrance of good new people like you–you do realize your reception of the sacraments enriched and graced the entire Church!

 

[ELROD]

Thank you, puzzleannie for the encouragement and kind comments. I am afraid I don’t have the intestinal fortitude for that kind of talk with the priest. I have come close enough over the last few years to know that most of them in this diocese have a rather “liberal” type of thinking that would consider anything that could be construed as “turning back the clock” , not welcome. Also, forget about the bishop, sorry to be so blunt.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to say what you did. God Bless You and yours.

 

[crenfro]

Elrod, I’m a rotten person and terrible sinner too. Most people don’t believe that I was capable of some of the things I’ve done in the past. That’s why Jesus came and died on the cross for us - to save us from our rottennesses and terrible sins. I also applaud you for sticking with your new found faith despite all these annoyances and negativities.

Don’t dance that Judas shuffle. Perhaps, one Mass at a time, you can make yourself stay for the complete celebration until it becomes a habit. You could even offer it up as redemptive suffering - as a penance.

I hate lousy music at Mass too. What I hate worse is when the musicians use their ministry to garner attention to themselves, instead of for worshipping our Lord. I’ve been to masses where they sort of wait around for applause. I don’t applaud them. Maybe with prayers from others I’ll learn to be more charitable.

Too, what really scares me about when people slink out of mass early is the poor example it has on children and people, not so well versed in their faith, who are easily impressionable.

Have you considered praying, saying some rosaries or something about all these things that are getting you down?

Also, I’d recommend switching to another Catholic parish if it’s at all feasible for you where you’ll be better fed.

I switched a few years ago from one parish to another, but there’s a selection of parishes around here. Felt very guilty at first even though I knew it was okay. I switched because the parish I was at - the congregation stood during the consecration when they could have just as well kneeled, people other than a priest/deacon were giving the homily, and confession time was extremely limited. Didn’t feel comfortable addressing any of this with the pastor because I got the feeling he thought that my concerns were trivial and because another parishoner told me I didn’t know what I was talking about. The pastor is also a very likeable and good priest.

anyway, just my two cents… Keep fighting the good fight, Elrod.

 

[FAB]

It is always interesting to me when I see a post and thread like this all if the ‘I’ 's. I don’t like the misic, I don’t like the homily, I don’t like how the preist did this or that I, I, I.
Since the liturgy is the work of God through his people, perhaps a bit more charity should be given who are trying to do thier best for Him.
As one who is every Sunday behind a guitar, I know the time it takes in preparation, and prayer to get ready for the celebration. In my case care is alsways given to ever selection of music, of how it relates to the readings and how the congregation and join in the liturgy.
Jesus left the Church in our hands and for most of those in ministry we work to reflect his light as much as possible.
If you want changes is your liturgy, join the liturgy committee. You can then have a direct effect on what is done. The kind of critiques given on these blogs are certainly not uplifting. I believe Jesus told us to remove the plank from our own eye first. Perhaps if more did so, they wouold see the absolute spiritual beauty in the celbration of every mass and the question of leaving early would never arise.
Peace,
FAB

 

[ELROD]

Remember,FAB, the advice someone left on one of these posts? You’ve gotta have thick skin if your going to post on these forums, or read them for that matter. I’ve already stated that I had made up my mind not to leave mass early any longer. Please, reciprocate and pound your guitar in your basement or something. I swear, this is a large part of the problem. All the laity just climbing all over one another to show off at mass in one way or another. I have watched people all my life, I do it for a living, it doesn’t take too long to spot a phony. I’ll say that for what it is worth the most memorable and moving masses attended by myself have been occasions where the musical staff were sick or under bad weather and we just didn’t have any song leader. Beautiful, you could hear people singing strongly all around. Good old songs that everyone remembered. Peace to you, ELROD

 

[FAB]

Remember,FAB, the advice someone left on one of these posts? You’ve gotta have thick skin if your going to post on these forums, or read them for that matter. I’ve already stated that I had made up my mind not to leave mass early any longer. Please, reciprocate and pound your guitar in your basement or something. I swear, this is a large part of the problem. All the laity just climbing all over one another to show off at mass in one way or another. I have watched people all my life, I do it for a living, it doesn’t take too long to spot a phony. I’ll say that for what it is worth the most memorable and moving masses attended by myself have been occasions where the musical staff were sick or under bad weather and we just didn’t have any song leader. Beautiful, you could hear people singing strongly all around. Good old songs that everyone remembered. Peace to you, ELROD

There’s also a rule not to be insulting or deming to others. We are told that by the standard we judge we shall also be judged. For you I pray that you live a perfect life. I would advise that you do an examination of conscience to see the sinfulness in your judgemental nature and visit the confessional sooner than later.

Peace,
FAB

 

[ELROD]

Yep, you are right FAB, I am rolling downhill like a snowball headed for hell. I never said it wasn’t true, in fact, I was the first one to say it about myself. Pride, 7 deadly sins, it is horrible. It is the stuff of my confessions.

 

[FAB]

Yep, you are right FAB, I am rolling downhill like a snowball headed for hell. I never said it wasn’t true, in fact, I was the first one to say it about myself. Pride, 7 deadly sins, it is horrible. It is the stuff of my confessions.

Looks like there’s hope for you then. I’ll pray for you as I ‘pound’ my guitar at this Sunday’s Echaristic celebration.
Peace,
FAB

 

[ELROD]

For some strange reason I would like to hear that! Thank you for praying for me. I am grateful. Elrod