Leaving Mormonism

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Brandon_Cal said:
Part of it lies in my uncertainty in where to go after leaving the LDS Church. I feel that I’m at an impasse in choosing between the Orthodox and Catholic churches. I feel that my wife could cope with my decision if I had a firm belief in the truth of another church to complement my firm belief in the error of the LDS. For now I only have the latter. I hope you’ll pray for me as well. 🙂
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I will be praying for you and Sunstone. If you are deadlocked between Orthodox and Catholic I would encourage you to pray, which you are probably doing, and look for the keys.

Christ named one apostle Rock, Jn1:42 and gave the keys of the kingdom to one apostle setting him as a sure rock of unity, Mt16:17-19. Christ appointed to the apostles a kingdom that they may eat and drink at His table (Mass) sitting on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel. He told Peter Satan wanted to sift all the apostles as wheat also saying, in the presents of all the apostles, I have prayed for thee (Peter singular) that thy (Peter’s) faith fail not. and when Perer is converted, after denying Christ three times, Peter is to strengthen the brethren, which is all the brethren including the other apostles, Lk22:29-32.

We see Christ doing this, with the other apostles present, in Jn31:14-17 feed my sheep, feed my lambs. Peter, who’s faith will not fail, being guaranteed by Christ’s prayer, is to feed all Christ’s sheep from the youngest lambs to the greatest sheep. Peter is universal shepherd (first minister), Isa22:19-22. He can speak for the whole Church throughout the world, not just a geographical or national group, but a truly universal church.
 
iepuras said:
Prayers for you too.

Your wife has ailing health and you are being pressured to be senior missionaries? That is terrible. I hope all goes well for you.
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My wife has endured 6 years of gastroesophageal cancer. She’s had three inches of her esophagus removed, three rounds of radiation on her stomach, a chemotic device strapped to her midsection for a year. I gave her numerous priesthood blessings (despite my unbelief… she requested them), she was blessed by our Stake President before surgery as well. I convinced her to “hedge her bets” by having an Orthodox priest give her a blessing at the hospital right before her last operation. She’s now in remission (Thanks be to God!)

Since our local Mission President heard of her recovery (an old friend of our son), he has sent our name to a Mission in British Columbia, from whence came the request to serve a Senior Couple’s Mission. My wife, in her new-found health feels she owes it to God to serve the LDS Church, yet I feel as if we’re being taken advantage of given our good news. I wouldn’t mind a charitable Senior Couple’s Mission, but I suspect given my tenure in university education that I would be expected to fulfill a role that involves indoctrination in the LDS faith. I cannot in good faith do this, which is the main reason why I’m so adamantly against it.

Despite all that, my wife an I are still quite old. Though she might be in remission, either she or I may any day kick the bucket. I do not want to spend my last months serving a church that I believe to be a sham. I’m doing my best to distract my wife’s attention from all this, but ultimately I may very well have to spill the beans and tell her that I want nothing to do with it all. I appreciate all of your prayers 🙂
 
Sunstone said:
Yes, this is very much the case. My circumstances are making it difficult to leave quietly, as I’m in the leadership in my Mormon ward and am known in Mormon studies circles.

I’m currently the First Counselor to the Bishop in my ward. Those of you who have first hand experience with Mormons know that there is going to be a big, public “issue,” despite the fact that I have no personal ill-will for the LDS Church, have not been offended, and am not angry.

I’m just moving on.
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Oh my.
You certainly are navigating landmines with this.

Prayers. Hoping your wife’s love for you has a strong component of love that has no connection with her faith.
Marriage is so very hard, especially when one spouse changes a great deal who they are and what they believe.

God’s special graces to you and your wife.
 
Brandon_Cal said:
My wife has endured 6 years of gastroesophageal cancer. She’s had three inches of her esophagus removed, three rounds of radiation on her stomach, a chemotic device strapped to her midsection for a year. I gave her numerous priesthood blessings (despite my unbelief… she requested them), she was blessed by our Stake President before surgery as well. I convinced her to “hedge her bets” by having an Orthodox priest give her a blessing at the hospital right before her last operation. She’s now in remission (Thanks be to God!)

Since our local Mission President heard of her recovery (an old friend of our son), he has sent our name to a Mission in British Columbia, from whence came the request to serve a Senior Couple’s Mission. My wife, in her new-found health feels she owes it to God to serve the LDS Church, yet I feel as if we’re being taken advantage of given our good news. I wouldn’t mind a charitable Senior Couple’s Mission, but I suspect given my tenure in university education that I would be expected to fulfill a role that involves indoctrination in the LDS faith. I cannot in good faith do this, which is the main reason why I’m so adamantly against it.

Despite all that, my wife an I are still quite old. Though she might be in remission, either she or I may any day kick the bucket. I do not want to spend my last months serving a church that I believe to be a sham. I’m doing my best to distract my wife’s attention from all this, but ultimately I may very well have to spill the beans and tell her that I want nothing to do with it all. I appreciate all of your prayers 🙂
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I feel for you in your dilemma, but I think that if you serve in any capacity, a church you do not believe in, then this could lead to high levels of stress and a deterioration in you own health. Maybe it’s time to sit down with your wife and honestly discuss this. I will pray for you both.
 
I had a similar journey. I stopped believing in the mormon church during my marriage. My then husband, who is rather bombastic about his belonging to the “true church” asked me to keep up the pretense of being a true believer for the sake of the children. I did and it was hell.
When my kids were teenagers I couldn’t take it any more and I left the marriage. There were other problems as well. I was not what he wanted. The only thing we had in common was the church and when that was gone for me there was not much left. None of my children stayed mormon. I found that prayer helped a lot. I remember when I first prayed to Jesus. It was so wonderful. Mormons are not allowed to pray to Jesus but I found it was easier to love the person of Jesus than the heavenly father of mormonism, who seemed like an abstraction.
During a recent homily at my parish, my priest spoke about the biblical passage of Jesus walking on water and how Peter sank when he took his eyes off Jesus. He said we all have periods in life where we will have to “walk on water” and the key is to keep looking at Jesus.
I don’t know about you but I never heard much about Jesus when I was a mormon. I think they have changed, but in my day, everything was about bringing in investigators, tithing, food
storage and the like. And I found the mormon prayer life to be lacking.
Another thing. I am also in remission of stage 4 cancer, after three surgeries and a dire
prognosis. I know for me, I went into remission when I stopped working and let my body rest when it needed to. Sometimes I feel pretty lazy, but if I try to do too much I pay the
price the next day. I feel a mission would be too taxing for your wife. I am 66 and have the regular aches and pains of getting older, as well as having battled cancer for the last
five years. I have to be somewhat flexible in order to have good days.
God bless you. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
 
RE: Couple missions. My parents served more than once. The first was in a nice suburb in the USA, with friends who were the mission president and his wife. The really enjoyed it. The next one was as the leadership for a small branch in a rural area of the USA. The LDS Church ran their free Book of Mormon ads regularly on the local stations, and my parents would drive a free Book of Mormon to those who requested one. They had a 300 mile radius on rural roads to deliver, and my dad started falling asleep at the wheel. !!! I felt like they were being taken advantage of, for both of those missions. Like sketchy telemarketers who prey on grandmas and grandpas.

Health factors should be weighed carefully. The LDS church does not allow young missionaries to serve with health issues. Encouraging older missionaries with serious health issues to serve is less than stellar behavior, IMO.
 
lynnettejane said:
I feel for you in your dilemma, but I think that if you serve in any capacity, a church you do not believe in, then this could lead to high levels of stress and a deterioration in you own health. Maybe it’s time to sit down with your wife and honestly discuss this. I will pray for you both.
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On a practical note, why not join a local RCIA, start investigating what real Christianity is.
 
Brandon_Cal said:
My wife has endured 6 years of gastroesophageal cancer. She’s had three inches of her esophagus removed, three rounds of radiation on her stomach, a chemotic device strapped to her midsection for a year. I gave her numerous priesthood blessings (despite my unbelief… she requested them), she was blessed by our Stake President before surgery as well. I convinced her to “hedge her bets” by having an Orthodox priest give her a blessing at the hospital right before her last operation. She’s now in remission (Thanks be to God!)

Since our local Mission President heard of her recovery (an old friend of our son), he has sent our name to a Mission in British Columbia, from whence came the request to serve a Senior Couple’s Mission. My wife, in her new-found health feels she owes it to God to serve the LDS Church, yet I feel as if we’re being taken advantage of given our good news. I wouldn’t mind a charitable Senior Couple’s Mission, but I suspect given my tenure in university education that I would be expected to fulfill a role that involves indoctrination in the LDS faith. I cannot in good faith do this, which is the main reason why I’m so adamantly against it.

Despite all that, my wife an I are still quite old. Though she might be in remission, either she or I may any day kick the bucket. I do not want to spend my last months serving a church that I believe to be a sham. I’m doing my best to distract my wife’s attention from all this, but ultimately I may very well have to spill the beans and tell her that I want nothing to do with it all. I appreciate all of your prayers 🙂
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God bless you and your wife. Serving a senior couples mission is the last thing you and your wife should be doing. If your wife wants to serve God, there are lots of things she can do locally without having to move to another place for 18 - 24 months. BC would not be a bad place to get sick, but if something were to happen to either of you, I’m sure you would rather be close to your family and existing support system.

I’m sorry that you are being pushed into revealing your disaffection with the LDS church when you would rather not upset your wife. I cannot imagine hiding my feelings from my spouse. I’m sure it is very difficult for you. While honesty can be quite painful, it is better in the long run. You and Sunstone are in my prayers.
 
Sunstone said:
Yes, this is very much the case. My circumstances are making it difficult to leave quietly, as I’m in the leadership in my Mormon ward and am known in Mormon studies circles.

I’m currently the First Counselor to the Bishop in my ward. Those of you who have first hand experience with Mormons know that there is going to be a big, public “issue,” despite the fact that I have no personal ill-will for the LDS Church, have not been offended, and am not angry.

I’m just moving on.
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I left the church with four children living in Ogden Utah. Difficult to say the least. I understand. Prayers your way.
 
I will offer my Sunday Mass for you who seek the truth.

To make you a spectacle before alot of people to keep you in it sounds to me it is already on shakey ground.

In the meantime, there is such a thing as baptism of desire. Whether Catholic or Orthodox the two are the ‘lungs’ so to speak of the universal Christian Church…or Catholic Christian Church.

So your desire to leave and move on is already bringing you into the life of the Holy Spirit and if there are surrounding circumstances where you cannot leave, you make up your mind, make an act of faith, and if no other opportunity comes to you for water baptism, you are baptized in your desire for Jesus Christ.
 
I went to Mass this morning and prayed for all of you in this present dilemma as well as those who do not know about our forum, and those Muslims that perhaps seek a higher calling in the Lord but cannot for fear of death.

Another thought came to mind…if you can…to go to Catholic RCIA during week nights, once a week.

You can receive the baptism of desire…and then there is the reception of the Eucharist, the healing and powerful experience of absolution by Our Lord…so clearly separate and beyond the simple priest hearing you in the confessional.

Baptism and the sacraments…the Word of God in the Liturgy where you are assembled with the entire believers in Christ…united with those in heaven.

The Mass is literally heaven on earth.

I pray you pursue the Lord beyond the baptism of desire.
 
Sunstone said:
Yes, this is very much the case. My circumstances are making it difficult to leave quietly, as I’m in the leadership in my Mormon ward and am known in Mormon studies circles.

I’m currently the First Counselor to the Bishop in my ward. Those of you who have first hand experience with Mormons know that there is going to be a big, public “issue,” despite the fact that I have no personal ill-will for the LDS Church, have not been offended, and am not angry.

I’m just moving on.
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Sunstone, I understand how you feel. I’m a sunday school president, so not really as “high profile” as a counselor, but I think I understand your emotions. I also do not harbor any ill will, but would like a nice quiet exit, but the way the LDS church goes after “apostates” may not make it so smooth. If you ever need a pal to talk to who is in the same boat, let me know. I start RCIA class this week, so I’m pretty psyched.

I’ve not been able to determine the best way to quietly leave the church, but both my wife and I are planning on leaving. She was raised Catholic and is returning home, so to speak. We joined the LDS church several years ago, and basically realized we don’t believe half the statements members are expected to make (i.e. this is the true church, etc). So we are currently trying to determine the most appropriate way to move on, while learning more about the Catholic church.

I know it’s not easy, but you are not alone on this transition. God bless,

J.
 
Prayers going your way Sandstone and Brandon Cal
May the Holy Spirit strengthen and guide you.

jesus g
 
josh29 said:
Sunstone, I understand how you feel. I’m a sunday school president, so not really as “high profile” as a counselor, but I think I understand your emotions. I also do not harbor any ill will, but would like a nice quiet exit, but the way the LDS church goes after “apostates” may not make it so smooth. If you ever need a pal to talk to who is in the same boat, let me know. I start RCIA class this week, so I’m pretty psyched.

I’ve not been able to determine the best way to quietly leave the church, but both my wife and I are planning on leaving. She was raised Catholic and is returning home, so to speak. We joined the LDS church several years ago, and basically realized we don’t believe half the statements members are expected to make (i.e. this is the true church, etc). So we are currently trying to determine the most appropriate way to move on, while learning more about the Catholic church.

I know it’s not easy, but you are not alone on this transition. God bless,

J.
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Josh,

Hello and welcome to CAF.

There are several of us former Mormons here so if you are in need of some insight, advice, support, etc., just give a holler.

Will be praying for you and your wife in your RCIA journey.

Im guessing if it’s just you and your wife who are LDS, your exit wont be nearly as hard and as painful as it could be.

It seems that some in LDS leadership position are getting to the point where they dont harass people who are leaving. Not all, of course, but many are making it “easier”

Again, welcome
 
Greetings
I am reaching out to offer strength and hope during your difficult transition. I know first hand how difficult it is, especially with a close knit ward who keeps track of your attendance. Please keep your eyes, hearts and heads focused on The Savior, The Cross and The Holy Spirit and you will be lead. Continue to be prayerful in your quest for truth.
You are not alone…
 
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