Leaving Mormonism

[Janderich]

You are correct. I see this as the words of Joseph Smith and his close associates, who were seeking to prevent people from speaking against them. It is a false teaching, insomuch that it is used to shield a false prophet from being called out, as a false prophet. In other words, it is a means to working under deception and lies. Jesus always teaches us to walk in the light. Let our yes be a yes and our no be a no. There is no call by Jesus to keep ourselves quiet in the face of deception, pretending it doesn’t exist, in order that the deceivers can further their goals.

Hi Rebecca, Here then is the question: Is contention justified when we feel others are not speaking the truth?

 

[debbie_h]

To be fair, in my time as a Mormon I found that a lot (not all) non-LDS Chistians I encountered took a great deal of time and effort to try to convert me from my faith. I constantly felt like a target and like people were waiting to pounce on me with the intention of “saving” me from my beliefs.

I can understand why many former LDS walk away from religion altogether. For example, as unfair as it may be, I will never step foot in an charismatic “evengelical” Protestant church because of the way I was treated by them when I was LDS. everything from the accusations of Satan worship to personal attacks on my character were made. Fortunately, I had many positive experiences from catholics, orthodox, Lutherans, and Episcopalians. Which is probably why I didn’t write of Christianity and religion all together. With that said the damage done by others treatment of me and my own disillusionment of the organization and doctrines did a substantial number on me. I spent 7 years away from even the mildest of consideration of finding a new church.

So yes, while I left not because of other faiths/denominations efforts to convert/cause me to leave, but because of my own conflicts in fath vs reason vs doctrine. But that doe not invalidate the reality that there was a great deal of effort put in by others outside of the LDS faith to attempt to do the same thing.

Welcome to CAF & welcome home!
If you haven’t already shared, what brought you into the LDS & what was it that led you out & into the Catholic faith?

 

[RebeccaJ]

I will admit, once I left the LDS church i thought i would go straight into Catholicism. It turned out that because my faith was so betrayed it became difficult for me to believe in anything. I questioned every little thing and looked for excuses to not believe. My trust has been broken but it’s slowly coming back. What helped me out was not looking for a specific religion to trust in but to find trust in God again. Then once I find my faith in God again, i’m hoping believing in doctrines will become easier again. It’s not a fun journey but it’s necessary.

Cheers,

The Irishman

I understand. It is the way I went, but it took me a couple of decades! The Internet was a help for me, to explore what I was taught as a Mormon, and to study other faiths. It takes a leap, eventually. Either continue on in unbelief or jump in, and that jump, is very difficult.

Another former LDS in my parish, thinks it takes leaving Mormonism, to find trust again. And for those who are still Mormon, they think it takes leaving to be able to look at Christianity as it is, without the filter of Mormonism.

The leaving is only the first difficult step in the journey. More difficult steps to follow, but you, and we, are not journeying alone. God is with us, even during the part of our journey where faith has been utterly destroyed.

God bless you on your journey.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Hi Rebecca, Here then is the question: Is contention justified when we feel others are not speaking the truth?

I think people can view contention when there is none. Some view having a different understanding from their own, as contentious.

To the point of the OP, and my own experience, it takes discernment on the part of both parties. To view each other with the love of Christ, seeking to convey truth, but allowing in the other, the freedom of conscience that God has gifted us.

 

[RebeccaJ]

-] /-]

I completely understand. I felt the same way, and did not automatically revert to Catholicism once I realized that Mormonism wasn’t what it claimed to be. It was a process. I also started with the basics, and not necessarily looking for a specific religion. Heck I even considered Islam. But once I began to trust in God, I started to realize that it was that concept of trusting in God that led me to realize that a total apostasy of Christ’s Church was impossible, and then I realized that it was the Catholic Church that was there through everything in history, since Jesus Christ established it 2000 years ago. All the beliefs and practices of that Church are still here, never lost, never needing to be restored. I do hope that one day you too will come to that realization, whenever it comes.

Keep praying!

Yes, the basics. God, who is love. Follow the love of God.

 

[Marie5890]

I will admit, once I left the LDS church i thought i would go straight into Catholicism. It turned out that because my faith was so betrayed it became difficult for me to believe in anything. I questioned every little thing and looked for excuses to not believe. My trust has been broken but it’s slowly coming back. What helped me out was not looking for a specific religion to trust in but to find trust in God again. Then once I find my faith in God again, i’m hoping believing in doctrines will become easier again. It’s not a fun journey but it’s necessary.

Cheers,

The Irishman

First…a belated Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!

Second, I, too, understand. The betrayal of trust is very real. And it takes real time.

Praying for you on your journey.

 

[Matthew_Light]

As an ex-Mormon, I see it more as trying to get the truth out about Mormonism. Don’t you think truth is important?

The problem is, many of the beliefs of Mormons are (in my view) more true than the prevailing cultural atheism most Mormons fall into into when their faith is crushed.

Here are a few of the teachings of Mormonism that I believe are true:

• Family and the raising of the next generation is much more important than just entertaining ourselves
• Drug use and drunkenness are a scourge on society
• Personal integrity is very important
• One should work hard and do a good job in your career
• Sexuality should be channeled into marriage, not treated as a diversion and a plaything
• Jesus is Lord

Typically, some or many of those beliefs are lost when a Mormon loses his or her faith. Taking them (in my view) away from Truth, not towards it.

 

[Marie5890]

The problem is, many of the beliefs of Mormons are (in my view) more true than the prevailing cultural atheism most Mormons fall into into when their faith is crushed.

Here are a few of the teachings of Mormonism that I believe are true:

• Family and the raising of the next generation is much more important than just entertaining ourselves
• Drug use and drunkenness are a scourge on society
• Personal integrity is very important
• One should work hard and do a good job in your career
• Sexuality should be channeled into marriage, not treated as a diversion and a plaything
• Jesus is Lord

Typically, some or many of those beliefs are lost when a Mormon loses his or her faith. Taking them (in my view) away from Truth, not towards it.

And that is why, when they come to understand the house of cards Mormonism is and built on, they end up with a crisis of faith, and the above are abandoned.

Again, most leave, not because of outside influences, but because they learn the deception that they have been exposed to.

Deceptions that have been allowed to remain in place, though it does seem that their leadership has begun to do a little of “yea, well, yea, that is true.”

 

[debbie_h]

It’s a fair statement to say that, for the most part, TBMs simply don’t question what they are taught. That, for them, if the LDS church says it’s so, than it’s so.

If anything, at least in the past, the idea of one’s questioning or having doubts about teachings etc, was so very frowned upon, and you were seen somehow as having “less of a testimony”

Doubting was taught to be of Satan. Period. And that if you were doubting, it was Satan that was causing those doubts.
They made having doubts tantimount as being evil.

Having doubts, having questions, having concerns, is not evil. God can handle our doubts.He really can.

Oh yes I completly agree with this statement Marie.
This is why it’s so hard to leave.

 

[debbie_h]

It is my experience and opinion that the cause for the increase on inactivity and “loss of testimony in the Church” is internal and has nothing to do with external influences. The largest threat to the LDS belief structure is their own doctrines, dogmas, traditions and how their leadership operates in regards to these things

I agree that the LDS do encourage up to a certain level of questioning provided that you only stick to LDS friendly materials, accept the wishy washy explanations & leave it at that. Anything other than your standard ‘pre-approved’ Q&A’s is therefore frowned upon.
In my own experience (Cradle Mormon here) outside influences had nothing to do with my questioning & growing doubt of the LDS doctorine & history. Even as a child & teenager, It didn’t stack up right.

 

[Janderich]

It’s a fair statement to say that, for the most part, TBMs simply don’t question what they are taught. That, for them, if the LDS church says it’s so, than it’s so.

If anything, at least in the past, the idea of one’s questioning or having doubts about teachings etc, was so very frowned upon, and you were seen somehow as having “less of a testimony”

Doubting was taught to be of Satan. Period. And that if you were doubting, it was Satan that was causing those doubts.
They made having doubts tantimount as being evil.

Having doubts, having questions, having concerns, is not evil. God can handle our doubts.He really can.

Of course questions are not evil. Particularly when approached in the right manner. I’ve had many questions but I search patiently for answers, and answers come. I do not fear looking into our history just as I hope you do not fear looking into the history of Catholicism. However, it is important not to form hasty judgments and start a “search” with ones mind already made up. This is what I see over and over again. In fact, some non-LDS on these forums refuse to read the BofM. It actually baffles me as to why they do not. For some reason they brand it as evil without even looking into it. Now that would be an interesting discussion!

The issue comes when people do not search in the right light. They only turn to sources which seek to tear down the truth, and unsurprisingly, they find they are left with nothing but bitterness in return. As Neil A. Maxwell once said, "Some insist upon studying the Church only through the eyes of its defectors—like interviewing Judas to understand Jesus. Defectors always tell us more about themselves than about that from which they have departed” (BYU Speaches, “All Hell is Moved”, Nov 8, 1977). I say, search in the right light, study both sides on an issue, and search deeply.

Let me ask you a question Marie. Would you suggest people read The Great Apostasy by James E. Talmage to understand Catholicism? What if that was the only book they read on the subject, or perhaps they read a few books but all by those who had left the faith?

 

[iepuras]

The problem is, many of the beliefs of Mormons are (in my view) more true than the prevailing cultural atheism most Mormons fall into into when their faith is crushed.

Here are a few of the teachings of Mormonism that I believe are true:

• Family and the raising of the next generation is much more important than just entertaining ourselves
• Drug use and drunkenness are a scourge on society
• Personal integrity is very important
• One should work hard and do a good job in your career
• Sexuality should be channeled into marriage, not treated as a diversion and a plaything
• Jesus is Lord

Typically, some or many of those beliefs are lost when a Mormon loses his or her faith. Taking them (in my view) away from Truth, not towards it.

Mormonism is not the only faith tradition that teaches these things And other than the last one, these teachings/beliefs are not even unique to people who believe in God. Many of these beliefs are actually strengthened when ones leaves the LDS church. As someone who has left the LDS church and who knows others who have as well, leaving has freed us to find the Truth. Leaving was a critical step in my finding the Truth.

*Many ex-Mormons find the impetus to leave because of their children. They seek to protect them and want them to be free. For me, my children were a big part of why I left. If it wasn’t for them, I could have tolerated staying because of a desire to be accepted by my family of origin. My children inspired me to leave for their sake.

*There are many ex-Mormons who don’t drink at all or drink responsibly, just like everyone else.

*Personal integrity is another reason why many ex-Mormons leave. Their integrity is such that they refuse to live a lie as a believing Mormon to make others happy or to look good in the eyes of others. Many ex-Mormons pay a high personal price through lost jobs, shunning by Mormon friends and family members and even divorce due to their personal integrity.

• Hard work is not unique to Mormons. Ex-Mormons do not suddenly become lazy.

*Sexual immorality can be found among believing Mormons. They are no more “pure” than anyone else in that regard. How important is marital fidelity and love in Mormon culture when it is not uncommon for marriages to end in divorce simply because one of the spouses no longer believes? In many of these marriages the LDS church is more important than the spouse.

Frankly it is rather insulting to assume that ex-Mormons throw morality out the window when they leave. Yes, some do. However the majority continue to live lives of integrity. They are faithful to spouses, raise good kids and work hard. They are not any more sinful than anyone else.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Didn’t take long to compare Mormons who leave with Judas Iscariot. Typical.

 

[iepuras]

Didn’t take long to compare Mormons who leave with Judas Iscariot. Typical.

Yup. And ex-Mormons all become a bunch of sinners.

 

[iepuras]

I will admit, once I left the LDS church i thought i would go straight into Catholicism. It turned out that because my faith was so betrayed it became difficult for me to believe in anything. I questioned every little thing and looked for excuses to not believe. My trust has been broken but it’s slowly coming back. What helped me out was not looking for a specific religion to trust in but to find trust in God again. Then once I find my faith in God again, i’m hoping believing in doctrines will become easier again. It’s not a fun journey but it’s necessary.

Cheers,

The Irishman

I completely understand. It can take time. I wish you the best on your journey. You will be in my prayers.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Yup. And ex-Mormons all become a bunch of sinners.

Of course.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Of course questions are not evil. Particularly when approached in the right manner. I’ve had many questions but I search patiently for answers, and answers come. I do not fear looking into our history just as I hope you do not fear looking into the history of Catholicism. However, it is important not to form hasty judgments and start a “search” with ones mind already made up. This is what I see over and over again. In fact, some non-LDS on these forums refuse to read the BofM. It actually baffles me as to why they do not. For some reason they brand it as evil without even looking into it. Now that would be an interesting discussion!

The issue comes when people do not search in the right light. They only turn to sources which seek to tear down the truth, and unsurprisingly, they find they are left with nothing but bitterness in return. As Neil A. Maxwell once said, "Some insist upon studying the Church only through the eyes of its defectors—like interviewing Judas to understand Jesus. Defectors always tell us more about themselves than about that from which they have departed” (BYU Speaches, “All Hell is Moved”, Nov 8, 1977). I say, search in the right light, study both sides on an issue, and search deeply.

Let me ask you a question Marie. Would you suggest people read The Great Apostasy by James E. Talmage to understand Catholicism? What if that was the only book they read on the subject, or perhaps they read a few books but all by those who had left the faith?

I think you will find, the Catholics here who were once Mormon, studied Catholicism from all angles. No one wants to be deceived again.

Personally, I looked for “anti-Catholic” material, though I was already familiar with Talmage’s material. I looked for the deceptions, for hidden history, for dubious Popes. Unlike Mormonism, Catholics are free to use any source they choose, without being taken to task for not approaching in the “right” disposition. If I had found a whiff of hidden anything, including secret ceremonies, I would not be Catholic today.

It is an error on your part to assume Catholics seek to control how Catholicism is viewed. That is manipulation. For Catholics, manipulation is immoral. For Mormons, it is SOP.

 

[Janderich]

I think you will find, the Catholics here who were once Mormon, studied Catholicism from all angles. No one wants to be deceived again.

Personally, I looked for “anti-Catholic” material, though I was already familiar with Talmage’s material. I looked for the deceptions, for hidden history, for dubious Popes. Unlike Mormonism, Catholics are free to use any source they choose, without being taken to task for not approaching in the “right” disposition. If I had found a whiff of hidden anything, including secret ceremonies, I would not be Catholic today.

It is an error on your part to assume Catholics seek to control how Catholicism is viewed. That is manipulation. For Catholics, manipulation is immoral. For Mormons, it is SOP.

Hi Rebecca, I think you have missed the ideas presented in my post and instead taken it as an attack on Catholicism and dissenters of the Mormon faith. It is no such thing. Rather it is an investigation on how we should seek out and separate truth from error. I have presented the quote and questions so that you might be able to see both sides. However, it seems you have jumped to false conclusions (the exact thing I was speaking to) so I will simply list out the main points:

1. Seek in the right light: A person filled with hatred, doubt, fear, or anger will be blinded in their search, they will misinterpret and misunderstand.
2. Study both sides of an issue: The person who discovers a new fact and looks at anti-mormon material only is looking at only half an issue.
3. Search deeply: Religious truth is much more than skin deep. Mere outward facts are not enough. The gospel deals with why and how. A person must understand motivations to understand truth.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Sorry, but your posts are full of biases against people who leave Mormonism.

This one has the, people who leave are angry and therefore can’t understand truth.

People are going to be angry, happy, sad, etc. Truth does not depend on our feelings. Truth is.

 

[Janderich]

Sorry, but your posts are full of biases against people who leave Mormonism.

This one has the, people who leave are angry and therefore can’t understand truth.

People are going to be angry, happy, sad, etc. Truth does not depend on our feelings. Truth is.

I am not implying that all who leave the LDS church are angry. I never said such.
But I am saying that to understand truth we must have the right spirit.

And again, he that receiveth the word of truth, doth he receive it by the Spirit of truth or some other way? If it be some other way it is not of God. Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that recieveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth? Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together. (D&C 50:19-22)