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Exorcist
Guest
You can also welcome the person sitting next to you before Mass begins. The fact that you can also welcome them elsewhere does not change this fact. There is no opportunity cost.
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Exorcist
Guest
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minkymurph
Guest
Yes it is. It requires being reasonable and common sense.Come on - it’s clearly a loss for some and of benefit to others. Just read the posts - we each have our own opinion, and I will not even give you mine (though I’d like to). We should respect the opinions of others, even if we do not understand them.
Since it is optional, as has been shown in the GIRM, all you have to do is find a parish and/or Mass that includes that part of the sign of peace (if that is your style) or omits it (if that is your style).
I know that if I attend Mass at my parish, there will be handshakes, hugs, kisses, and laughter continuing into the Agnus Dei. I also know that if I go down to the local Dominican Priory for Mass, that will not occur.
I attend Mass accordingly. Was that so difficult?
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japhy
Guest
But he/she never called them rude. You used the word, Exorcist didn’t.
And hospitality to strangers is a common theme all throughout the Bible.
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johnnyjones
Guest
I walk from the second row of pews in the front, to the rear of the church to shake hands with an usher and return, wearing a glove.
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Seeker1961
Guest
It also requires a variety of experiences available. If every parish around you is doing things the same way, you can’t avoid it.Yes it is. It requires being reasonable and common sense.
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Brendan
Guest
In our parish, we have 30+ Extraordinary Handshake Ministers to help the priest do that type of thingI walk from the second row of pews in the front, to the rear of the church to shake hands with an usher and return, wearing a glove.
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ProVobis
Guest
In our parish, we have 30+ Extraordinary Handshake Ministers to help the priest do that type of thing
Ten points!
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Allamanda
Guest
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R1ch4rd
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Phemie
Guest
It wasn’t for you. OTOH, to go to the next parish I have to travel over 300 miles – and I find the same situation. From what I’ve seen in my travels, finding a different situation would require me to travel ~1000 miles to the closest Trappist community.I know that if I attend Mass at my parish, there will be handshakes, hugs, kisses, and laughter continuing into the Agnus Dei. I also know that if I go down to the local Dominican Priory for Mass, that will not occur.
I attend Mass accordingly. Was that so difficult?
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quilisma
Guest
This is probably an unusual case, but I suffer from panic disorder, and one of the things that can bring me to near panic is the dread of having to shake hands with all those strangers. From childhood I have always feared and dreaded that moment.
I am usually able to force myself to do it (with a great feeling of relief when it is over and I won’t have to deal with it for another whole week), but sometimes the panic gets overwhelming and I have to leave Mass just after the Our Father.
That probably makes me a bad Catholic and an evil person. But I just needed to point out that not everyone finds the handshake a spiritually uplifting thing. I realize that the Mass is not about what I like or don’t like, but that “sign of peace” has always been a peace-destroyer for me.
I have found an Extraordinary Form Mass near home which is a great relief – I’m now able to concentrate on worshiping the Lord without the creeping dread of the “sign of peace” hanging over my head. That probably sounds stupid to someone who has never experienced it, but please believe me, it is real and it is not trivial.
I am usually able to force myself to do it (with a great feeling of relief when it is over and I won’t have to deal with it for another whole week), but sometimes the panic gets overwhelming and I have to leave Mass just after the Our Father.
That probably makes me a bad Catholic and an evil person. But I just needed to point out that not everyone finds the handshake a spiritually uplifting thing. I realize that the Mass is not about what I like or don’t like, but that “sign of peace” has always been a peace-destroyer for me.
I have found an Extraordinary Form Mass near home which is a great relief – I’m now able to concentrate on worshiping the Lord without the creeping dread of the “sign of peace” hanging over my head. That probably sounds stupid to someone who has never experienced it, but please believe me, it is real and it is not trivial.
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nickybr38
Guest
I hope this isn’t too off topic.
Recently a friend of mine attended a Lutheran service where they also participate in the ‘sign of peace’… only they get a bit extreme. My friend is used to Catholic services so when the time came for the sign of peace she was prepared to shake hands.
This lady does NOT like to be touched. She was abused in her youth and for her being touched is very traumatic. But she knew shaking hands was expected so she had braced herself and prepared for it.
But then people aren’t just shaking hands… they’re grabbing her and forcing her into hugs. So she backs herself into a corner. There are people between her and the aisle. She thought since everyone in her aisle had already hugged her this would grant her some peace…
But some lady CLIMBS OVER THE PEW to hug her.
I mean, as ridiculous as the hand shaking may seem there could be far worse. Far, far worse.
And yes, my friend was traumatized by the whole thing. Thus why I ended up hearing the story. Poor thing.
Recently a friend of mine attended a Lutheran service where they also participate in the ‘sign of peace’… only they get a bit extreme. My friend is used to Catholic services so when the time came for the sign of peace she was prepared to shake hands.
This lady does NOT like to be touched. She was abused in her youth and for her being touched is very traumatic. But she knew shaking hands was expected so she had braced herself and prepared for it.
But then people aren’t just shaking hands… they’re grabbing her and forcing her into hugs. So she backs herself into a corner. There are people between her and the aisle. She thought since everyone in her aisle had already hugged her this would grant her some peace…
But some lady CLIMBS OVER THE PEW to hug her.
I mean, as ridiculous as the hand shaking may seem there could be far worse. Far, far worse.
And yes, my friend was traumatized by the whole thing. Thus why I ended up hearing the story. Poor thing.
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fedupbeliever
Guest
Sorry, but the practice is annoying. We have enough phony well-wishing all day long at work and social events without making it a requirement at mass. 
Personally, I’d like to slap the person next to me to stop him/her talking.
Personally, I’d like to slap the person next to me to stop him/her talking.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Could you just go to the restroom just before the sign of peace? Or step out into the narthex (away from people) for a brief moment? It certainly does not sound stupid to me! I have had plenty of people who nod and smile, or even a small bow, instead of shaking hands, and I am not insulted in the least. It should be an option, not a requirement.
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agnes_therese
Guest
No, doesn’t make you a bad Catholic or an evil person, nor does it make you sound stupid. I’m very glad you found a place where you don’t have to worry about it.
Handshakes should be voluntary. Anyone who would try to force you to shake hands is rude and uncivilized. Give them the Miss Manners “excuse me?” look and take your hand back. It’s yours, no one else has a right to it.
Handshakes should be voluntary. Anyone who would try to force you to shake hands is rude and uncivilized. Give them the Miss Manners “excuse me?” look and take your hand back. It’s yours, no one else has a right to it.
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Elizabeth502
Guest
I think the thing that I find most uncomfortable about this “ritual” is the contrived nature of it. It happens “on cue.”
One can still wish others well when the others are strangers; it’s just that it should be a more natural setting, i.m.o. It appears that a minority of Mass-goers enjoy the artificial setting of it (at all Masses I attend), with the only exception being smaller Masses at which most of the attendees are already familiar with each other, and thus even the “timed” aspect of it is acceptable, due to a level of intimacy and anticipation.
I’m perfectly comfortable approaching strangers; I would just feel much more comfortable if people could select their own random person to greet, and do so before Mass, as a signal that we understand what our inner disposition should be before we even begin the liturgy. That is both the spirit of Christian worship (wishing each other peace) and does not interrupt the second half of the liturgy.
I would love to see a priest encourage this in his parishioners: “If you are so moved, it’s nice to greet each other before entering the nave, wishing ‘Peace Be With you’ to anyone you happen to come across prior to the start of Mass.” I think that would be very meaningful to witness – to me, much more meaningful than some artificial command which results in the many awkward moments described on this thread and undoubtedly experienced by all of us. I also think this treats Mass-goers in a more adult way, which assumes that people should be responsible for taking Christian initiative instead of waiting passively forr an “order.”
Jews do it differently. They tend to do it after synagogue services, because those services usher in Shabbat. So afterwards, while people are leaving, they often say (again, often to strangers), “Shabbat Shalom.” In their context this makes perfect sense to wish others a peaceful Shabbat, and it’s very beautiful to give & receive that. It occurs within a natural rhythm and doesn’t come across as stilted, & it also doesn’t happen in the middle of the service.
Timing and context are everything.
One can still wish others well when the others are strangers; it’s just that it should be a more natural setting, i.m.o. It appears that a minority of Mass-goers enjoy the artificial setting of it (at all Masses I attend), with the only exception being smaller Masses at which most of the attendees are already familiar with each other, and thus even the “timed” aspect of it is acceptable, due to a level of intimacy and anticipation.
I’m perfectly comfortable approaching strangers; I would just feel much more comfortable if people could select their own random person to greet, and do so before Mass, as a signal that we understand what our inner disposition should be before we even begin the liturgy. That is both the spirit of Christian worship (wishing each other peace) and does not interrupt the second half of the liturgy.
I would love to see a priest encourage this in his parishioners: “If you are so moved, it’s nice to greet each other before entering the nave, wishing ‘Peace Be With you’ to anyone you happen to come across prior to the start of Mass.” I think that would be very meaningful to witness – to me, much more meaningful than some artificial command which results in the many awkward moments described on this thread and undoubtedly experienced by all of us. I also think this treats Mass-goers in a more adult way, which assumes that people should be responsible for taking Christian initiative instead of waiting passively forr an “order.”
Jews do it differently. They tend to do it after synagogue services, because those services usher in Shabbat. So afterwards, while people are leaving, they often say (again, often to strangers), “Shabbat Shalom.” In their context this makes perfect sense to wish others a peaceful Shabbat, and it’s very beautiful to give & receive that. It occurs within a natural rhythm and doesn’t come across as stilted, & it also doesn’t happen in the middle of the service.
Timing and context are everything.
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Aran_Houlihan
Guest
I always hug but i ask the people is it OK before mass
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