Leaving romance for priesthood

[Pag_Hingowa]

I’ve heard some priests left the Church because they were longing for a wife and children. My case is the opposite, I am married, childless, but I wish to take the road of ministerial priesthood. Is it possible for me to join the seminary and be a candidate for the priesthood?

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

 

[Little_One0307]

No becuase you are married. Have you thought about becoming a deacon?

God bless.

 

[Trishie]

Canon Law
intratext.com/IXT/ENG0017/__P3R.HTM

ARTICLE 3: IRREGULARITIES AND OTHER IMPEDIMENTS (that prevent ordination)

3° one who has attempted marriage, even a civil marriage, either while himself prevented from entering marriage whether by an existing marriage bond or by a sacred order or by a public and perpetual vow of chastity, or with a woman who is validly married or is obliged by the same vow;

Ordained as a Deacon

You can be ordained as a deacon under these conditions of Canon Law
intratext.com/IXT/ENG0017/__P3P.HTM

§2 A candidate for the permanent diaconate who is not married may be admitted to the diaconate only when he has completed at least his twenty-fifth year; if he is married, not until he has completed at least his thirty-fifth year, and then with the consent of his wife.

 

[The_Long_Road]

Why on earth would anyone think that breaking one lifelong sacrament vow would therefore make you a great candidate for taking another lifelong vow. Did you even think before posting your question? Of course not, because your not here to get answers, your only here to troll. Go somewhere else to to get your jollies.

 

[Pag_Hingowa]

Why on earth would anyone think that breaking one lifelong sacrament vow would therefore make you a great candidate for taking another lifelong vow. Did you even think before posting your question? Of course not, because your not here to get answers, your only here to troll. Go somewhere else to to get your jollies.

Please don’t judge me, I’m just looking for advice and struggling to become faithful and ardent follower of Christ. I’m here not to be condemned or ostracized.

 

[Trishie]

Pag, sometimes comments over the Internet can sound harsher than they should.
It can be impersonal at times. Not everyone ‘gets’ where another person is ‘coming from’. The poster does have a real point, if not expressed in the same way someone else might.However you are basically thinking Priesthood is the best way/ only real way? to grow closer to the Lord, to become one with God’s love, but it can be so any state of life is if you truly follow Christ, if you lovingly serve others, if you fully respond to God’s grace in your particular state in life.

God bless you for your desire to come closer to Him, and to live your life more fully in Him.

Becoming holy is difficult in any vocation. Priests have no fewer challenges than married men, different, but many.

I ask Blessed Louis Martin to pray for you. And his wife, Blessed Zelie Martin, the parents of St Therese of Lisieux.
He wanted to be a priest, she, a nun, instead they became saints within marriage, and raised a saint who is also a Doctor of the Church.

May God guide and protect you and draw you deeply into His life
Warm regards, your sister in Christ, Trishie

However, you could consider Profession in a lay/secular Order of the Church,
or as suggested, check out whether you could seek to become a Deacon.

God bless you.

 

[Trishie]

Regarding Lay/Secular/Third Orders of the Church.
These Orders allow deep study, for instance, the Franciscans have a particular love of gospel and the Eucharist.

Many married Saints and Blessed come from these Orders.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=179983
newadvent.org/cathen/14637b.htm

A more general description:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_order

“The term Third Order designates persons who live according to the Third Rule of a Roman Catholic religious order. Their members, known as Tertiaries, are generally lay members of religious orders, i.e. men and women who do not necessarily live in a religious community and yet can claim to wear the habit and participate in the good works of some great order.
A “Secular Order” (also called a “Third Order Secular”) is defined according to Canon Law (1983) of the Latin Rite of the Roman Catholic Church in the following way:
Associations whose members share in the spirit of some religious institute while in secular life, lead an apostolic life, and strive for Christian perfection under the higher direction of the same institute are called third orders or some other appropriate name.”. (Can. 303) Code of Canon Law of the Roman Catholic Church. Members of these orders are called Tertiaries (Latin tertiarii, from tertius, third). The old monastic orders had attached to their abbeys confraternities of lay men and women, going back in some cases to the 8th century. The Confraternity Book of Durham is extant and embraces some 20,000 names in the course of eight centuries. Emperors and kings and the most illustrious men in church and state were commonly confraters of one or other of the great Benedictine abbeys. The confraters and consorors were made partakers in all the religious exercises and other good works of the community to which they were affiliated, and they were expected in return to protect and forward its interests; but they were not called upon to follow any special rule of life."

 

[Pag_Hingowa]

Pag, sometimes comments over the Internet can sound harsher than they should.
It can be impersonal at times. Not everyone ‘gets’ where another person is ‘coming from’. The poster does have a real point, if not expressed in the same way someone else might.However you are basically thinking Priesthood is the best way/ only real way? to grow closer to the Lord, to become one with God’s love, but it can be so any state of life is if you truly follow Christ, if you lovingly serve others, if you fully respond to God’s grace in your particular state in life.

God bless you for your desire to come closer to Him, and to live your life more fully in Him.

Becoming holy is difficult in any vocation. Priests have no fewer challenges than married men, different, but many.

I ask Blessed Louis Martin to pray for you. And his wife, Blessed Zelie Martin, the parents of St Therese of Lisieux.
He wanted to be a priest, she, a nun, instead they became saints within marriage, and raised a saint who is also a Doctor of the Church.

May God guide and protect you and draw you deeply into His life
Warm regards, your sister in Christ, Trishie

However, you could consider Profession in a lay/secular Order of the Church,
or as suggested, check out whether you could seek to become a Deacon.

God bless you.

You are right, Trishies. Priesthood is not the only way to become a good shepherd. Perhaps this is not a divine calling. I should build a sense of wholeness in marriage vocation instead.

Thank you for your prayer for me to live a true follower of Christ.

 

[Pug]

Canon Law
intratext.com/IXT/ENG0017/__P3R.HTM

ARTICLE 3: IRREGULARITIES AND OTHER IMPEDIMENTS (that prevent ordination)

3° one who has attempted marriage, even a civil marriage, either while himself prevented from entering marriage whether by an existing marriage bond or by a sacred order or by a public and perpetual vow of chastity, or with a woman who is validly married or is obliged by the same vow;

Ordained as a Deacon

You can be ordained as a deacon under these conditions of Canon Law
intratext.com/IXT/ENG0017/__P3P.HTM

§2 A candidate for the permanent diaconate who is not married may be admitted to the diaconate only when he has completed at least his twenty-fifth year; if he is married, not until he has completed at least his thirty-fifth year, and then with the consent of his wife.

Trishie,

I can’t tell, but I think it is possible that you have quoted the wrong canon, or anyway, not the canon you intended. Did you mean this one:Can. 1042 The following are simply impeded from receiving orders: 1° a man who has a wife, unless he is lawfully destined for the permanent diaconate;
The one you quoted (labeled as section 3) is talking about one who has tried to get married while already married and the like. (like bigamy)

 

[Pug]

I’ve heard some priests left the Church because they were longing for a wife and children. My case is the opposite, I am married, childless, but I wish to take the road of ministerial priesthood. Is it possible for me to join the seminary and be a candidate for the priesthood?

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

My advice is not really on the topic of your inquiry. I think some wives could become frightened if they heard that their husband was considering the priesthood (I do not mean the diaconate), since she might fear that this meant he was not committed to her and that he might leave her. So, consider not telling your wife that you inquired about if it was possible for you to become a priest.

Also, this conversation here assumes you are a Latin rite Catholic, of course. If you are of a different rite, the answers change.

 

[Pag_Hingowa]

My advice is not really on the topic of your inquiry. I think some wives could become frightened if they heard that their husband was considering the priesthood (I do not mean the diaconate), since she might fear that this meant he was not committed to her and that he might leave her. So, consider not telling your wife that you inquired about if it was possible for you to become a priest.

Thanks Pug. Yes, she woudn’t know.

 

[Little_One0307]

My advice is not really on the topic of your inquiry. I think some wives could become frightened if they heard that their husband was considering the priesthood (I do not mean the diaconate), since she might fear that this meant he was not committed to her and that he might leave her. So, consider not telling your wife that you inquired about if it was possible for you to become a priest.

Also, this conversation here assumes you are a Latin rite Catholic, of course. If you are of a different rite, the answers change.

It is NOT possible for the OP to become a priest, he is married. The Church will not condone this as has per stated by canon law. Being in a Marriage is an impediment to becoming a priest.

Code of Canon Law

Canon 1042 commentary to article 1

Marriage. Normally marriage is an impediment ot oders in light of canon 277. However, in light of the legislation of Pope Paul VI on the permanent diaconate which has been included in the revised Code, permanent deacons who are married are not bound by the impediment. The impediment binds as long as the marriage bond exists. Therefore, it does not bind widowers or those who have obtained an annulment.

God bless.

 

[puzzleannie]

. My case is the opposite, I am married, childless, but I wish to take the road of ministerial priesthood. Is it possible for me to join the seminary and be a candidate for the priesthood?

.

no. your vocation is marriage

unless death or some other eventuality changes that, you are married and therefore not a candidate for the priesthood.

 

[Pag_Hingowa]

Ok, if there is no entrance process for my case, I will no longer consider entering the ministry.

 

[Little_One0307]

Ok, if there is no entrance process for my case, I will no longer consider entering the ministry.

However, I would like to encourage you to get involved with parish ministry. It sounds like you have a heart for other people, and you would be a blessing I am sure.

God bless.

 

[Pug]

It is NOT possible for the OP to become a priest, he is married. The Church will not condone this as has per stated by canon law. Being in a Marriage is an impediment to becoming a priest.

Code of Canon Law

Canon 1042 commentary to article 1

God bless.

I’m not sure why you have posted this to me. I’m assuming you think I posted something incorrect, but I don’t know what that is. Could you clarify for me?

To be clear, there are married men who are Catholic priests. Right now, in these current days, it is possible to go and meet one. They were married already at the time that they were ordained. Eastern rite Catholic men by tradition can be so ordained. The canon that I quoted in my reply to Trishie does not apply to them. Eastern rite Catholics are subject to different rules than we are.

 

[Little_One0307]

My advice is not really on the topic of your inquiry. I think some wives could become frightened if they heard that their husband was considering the priesthood (I do not mean the diaconate), since she might fear that this meant he was not committed to her and that he might leave her. So, consider not telling your wife that you inquired about if it was possible for you to become a priest…

I’m not sure why you have posted this to me. I’m assuming you think I posted something incorrect, but I don’t know what that is. Could you clarify for me?

To be clear, there are married men who are Catholic priests. Right now, in these current days, it is possible to go and meet one. They were married already at the time that they were ordained. Eastern rite Catholic men by tradition can be so ordained. The canon that I quoted in my reply to Trishie does not apply to them. Eastern rite Catholics are subject to different rules than we are.

The above quote. That is why I posted the canon. Eastern Rite Catholics did not come into mind as I don’t think the OP is an Eastern Rite Catholic. Had I thought he was, I would have stated the same thing you stated.

I posted it becuase I was a bit disturbed at some advice you gave the OP to not tell his wife about what he was wishing to do. Now if you did not mean to tell hiim this, please correct me if I am wrong. So I posted the canon because it is explicit and took the emphasis off this advice that in my opionion is not right. One should never encourage dishonesty either by out right by lying or lying by omission. Marriage is supposed to reflect Jesus and His relationship with His Church.

God bless.

 

[Pug]

I posted it becuase I was a bit disturbed at some advice you gave the OP to not tell his wife about what he was wishing to do. Now if you did not mean to tell hiim this, please correct me if I am wrong. So I posted the canon because it is explicit and took the emphasis off this advice that in my opionion is not right. One should never encourage dishonesty either by out right by lying or lying by omission. Marriage is supposed to reflect Jesus and His relationship with His Church.

God bless.

I see, thanks for clarifying. I did indeed suggest that OP *consider *not telling his wife about his inquiry. Automatically in my mind that includes considering, if morally possible. I agree one ought not lie to one’s spouse. I also don’t think one ought to play various sorts of games by concealing necessary information. I don’t share my every thought with my spouse, though. If I stupidly had an adulterous thought while out at dinner together, I wouldn’t trouble my spouse with that knowledge unless something required it. I would rather not burden the other with knowing, if possible. Nor would I tell my spouse if lately I found their laugh grating on my ears. I don’t share all my thoughts unless I think it would be helpful. I am aware that some spouses do feel that every thought ought to be shared. I, however, feel that for my marriage, charity dictates that some things not be volunteered, if possible. Sometimes even thoughts of the grating laugh must be shared, but if it can be avoided, I do.

OP’s question reminded me of something in my personal experience. Perhaps my replies are unavoidably colored by that experience. If so, I apologize.

 

[Little_One0307]

I see, thanks for clarifying. I did indeed suggest that OP *consider *not telling his wife about his inquiry. Automatically in my mind that includes considering, if morally possible. I agree one ought not lie to one’s spouse. I also don’t think one ought to play various sorts of games by concealing necessary information. I don’t share my every thought with my spouse, though. If I stupidly had an adulterous thought while out at dinner together, I wouldn’t trouble my spouse with that knowledge unless something required it. I would rather not burden the other with knowing, if possible. Nor would I tell my spouse if lately I found their laugh grating on my ears. I don’t share all my thoughts unless I think it would be helpful. I am aware that some spouses do feel that every thought ought to be shared. I, however, feel that for my marriage, charity dictates that some things not be volunteered, if possible. Sometimes even thoughts of the grating laugh must be shared, but if it can be avoided, I do.

OP’s question reminded me of something in my personal experience. Perhaps my replies are unavoidably colored by that experience. If so, I apologize.

Pug,

Ahhh I see where you are coming from and I understand totally. It’s kinda of the same scenario if your wife is pregnant and almost ready to give birth and she looks at you and says “Am I fat?” It’s a very delicate situation I am sure.

I just did not know that the not telling his wife would not continue all the way throught the process. I thought in this scenario she would be blind-sided by it. Thanks so much for clarifying for me.

I am not called to the Marriage Vocation, but I pray for you guys in that Sacrament. I did not realise that you guys go through so much. Please pray for those who are called to the priesthood and religious vocations. God bless.

 

[Pug]

I am not called to the Marriage Vocation, but I pray for you guys in that Sacrament. I did not realise that you guys go through so much. Please pray for those who are called to the priesthood and religious vocations. God bless.

Of course, I’m happy to say a particular prayer for your intention this evening. I usually pray for vocations generally in the morning as well.