Leaving straight after mass

[skippykerrie]

Hi All,

First of all I hope this is posted in the correct thread.

A little background, I am blessed with a job where I can attend daily mass a couple of days per week. After mass I usually like to say my after communion prayers and a few petitions to our Lord .

I am having an issue though, there is a good friend of mine who opens and closes the church, she does a fantastic job, however, after mass/ adoration (the priest has not even removed his garments!) and she likes to switch off the lights and get everyone out and lock the church. To be fair majority of people have left and there is only me and a few others are remaining. I don’t have this issue at the other church in my parish, which is where I attend Sunday mass!

Well, I feel I have to dash off because she wants everyone gone, I am not asking for a hour after mass or anything, just a prayer and a goodbye to get me on my way. When I say I won’t be moment she will tell me to hurry or ‘come on’, in a friendly way, but this is starting to test me. Well, today there was a man who ‘runs’ the church along side her and he bellowed from the back “Are you done yet?!?!?!” and I just left.

Just a post to ask if anyone else has this, or do you leave after mass, how long do you stay after? Just could do with some advice, feedback, ideas of what I could do, I am a new(ish) Catholic, so I don’t feel comfortable approaching my priest.

Many thanks for any comments!

God Bless xxx

 

[paduard]

Hi All,

First of all I hope this is posted in the correct thread.

A little background, I am blessed with a job where I can attend daily mass a couple of days per week. After mass I usually like to say my after communion prayers and a few petitions to our Lord .

I am having an issue though, there is a good friend of mine who opens and closes the church, she does a fantastic job, however, after mass/ adoration (the priest has not even removed his garments!) and she likes to switch off the lights and get everyone out and lock the church. To be fair majority of people have left and there is only me and a few others are remaining. I don’t have this issue at the other church in my parish, which is where I attend Sunday mass!

Well, I feel I have to dash off because she wants everyone gone, I am not asking for a hour after mass or anything, just a prayer and a goodbye to get me on my way. When I say I won’t be moment she will tell me to hurry or ‘come on’, in a friendly way, but this is starting to test me. Well, today there was a man who ‘runs’ the church along side her and he bellowed from the back “Are you done yet?!?!?!” and I just left.

Just a post to ask if anyone else has this, or do you leave after mass, how long do you stay after? Just could do with some advice, feedback, ideas of what I could do, I am a new(ish) Catholic, so I don’t feel comfortable approaching my priest.

Many thanks for any comments!

God Bless xxx

Best to endure what you endure; your patience is commendable.

paduard

 

[brian_custer]

have you tried speaking to the custodian about your concern?

 

[JRS_88]

She may have to leave quickly after mass to go to her job, you didn’t say if she worked. Maybe they had something important to do that particular day.

 

[AngelusDomini]

I can understand how this is beginning to test you, I’ve experienced it myself.

Just a few suggestions - when told to ‘hurry up’, just smile and say ‘Just saying a quick thank you’ (maybe this isn’t something this lady is familiar with; although everyone certainly should offer a prayer of thanks).
Say a short prayer of thanksgiving in Church and complete other prayers on your walk back to work.
When it begins to test you offer it up to God and remind yourself how lucky you are to be able to attend Mass frequently.

Hope this helps in a small way.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

You don’t say what this woman’s other responsibilities are, so all we can do is speculate. It could be that she has to get the church locked up and get to work herself, and having to wait for you is endangering her ability to continue performing this service for the church community.

My general thought is similar to my thoughts if I find myself one of the last few in a restaurant that’s closing or a store that’s closing – I want to get out as quickly as possible so that I don’t inconvenience the staff. This is not the time to linger over coffee or idly wander the store aisles.

How about letting some of your thanksgiving spill over to the person doing some behind-the-scenes work to make it possible for you to be at Mass and leave when everyone else leaves.

 

[skippykerrie]

Thanks for all your replies you have helped me. Sorry I really didn’t make it clear. She is retired not elderly, but no work to attend to. In fact oddly enough it is usually the workers that are behind doing prayers. There is also a coffee morning in the room attached to the church,that’s open for aggggeeesss after but the church is still accessible, but she just wants everyone out, this is why my patience is being tested as there is no need to rush off. I am not sure if we have a sacristan is it? I do seem really petty with this complaint, but I see people occasionally half way through chaplets/rosarys and are hurried out of the door.
Plus I would do my prayers before mass but I usually help to set up the altar and candles which I offered to help with. They seem very happy with this, I just might have to open to them I guess.

 

[skippykerrie]

You don’t say what this woman’s other responsibilities are, so all we can do is speculate. It could be that she has to get the church locked up and get to work herself, and having to wait for you is endangering her ability to continue performing this service for the church community.

My general thought is similar to my thoughts if I find myself one of the last few in a restaurant that’s closing or a store that’s closing – I want to get out as quickly as possible so that I don’t inconvenience the staff. This is not the time to linger over coffee or idly wander the store aisles.

How about letting some of your thanksgiving spill over to the person doing some behind-the-scenes work to make it possible for you to be at Mass and leave when everyone else leaves.

I am not sure what else she attends to, we are blessed with a big parish and a lot of helpers so the church is well looked after.

 

[wild_thing]

I don’t know…I’m going against the grain here. I think it’s deplorable. Aren’t the doors situated so that you can still get out even after the doors are locked? Could you offer to be the one to lock the doors on the days you attend mass? Jesus is alone in the church all day…

 

[peter26]

I tend to stay in prayer for at least a couple of minutes, I’m not the only one who does this at my parish and it creates no problems. Quite often in the week there are people doing things in the church after Mass anyway, such as cleaning or changing the flowers. Its certainly a good idea to spend some time in thanksgiving after reviving Jesus in the Eucharist. If you can’t, a charitable conversation with the lady who locks up about allowing you just a couple of minutes may yield results: she probably does not understand why you want to remain behind.

 

[skippykerrie]

I tend to stay in prayer for at least a couple of minutes, I’m not the only one who does this at my parish and it creates no problems. Quite often in the week there are people doing things in the church after Mass anyway, such as cleaning or changing the flowers. Its certainly a good idea to spend some time in thanksgiving after reviving Jesus in the Eucharist. If you can’t, a charitable conversation with the lady who locks up about allowing you just a couple of minutes may yield results: she probably does not understand why you want to remain behind.

Thanks for this. I’m also in the UK.

‘Wildthing’ you’re right… The church seems to need to open for mass, but no longer. As soon as mass is over, they want the church lights off and you to either leave, or go to the coffee morning.

There is a side access door in the meeting room which is open for the coffee etc so no reason to close.

It just seems like the ‘helpers’ have their job that they want to get done as soon as possible and won’t budge. I just find it sad that there isn’t any ‘settle down’ time after mass.

I know we should pray for people who don’t see the importance of this, or the fact that churches ‘must’ allow people to spend time in front of the tabernacle. It’s just hard when you’re there, and there’s no sense on peace. A lady was deep in prayer after mass on Tuesday but they turned the lights off and stood waiting for her, sighing. There’s just no reason for this. There are plenty of people who would offer to lock up. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s any good reason for all this rushing… Just that they don’t see a good reason to stay.

 

[skippykerrie]

You don’t say what this woman’s other responsibilities are, so all we can do is speculate. It could be that she has to get the church locked up and get to work herself, and having to wait for you is endangering her ability to continue performing this service for the church community.

My general thought is similar to my thoughts if I find myself one of the last few in a restaurant that’s closing or a store that’s closing – I want to get out as quickly as possible so that I don’t inconvenience the staff. This is not the time to linger over coffee or idly wander the store aisles.

How about letting some of your thanksgiving spill over to the person doing some behind-the-scenes work to make it possible for you to be at Mass and leave when everyone else leaves.

I am not sure what else she attends to, we are blessed with a big parish and a lot of helpers so the church is well looked after.

 

[pianistclare]

I don’t know…I’m going against the grain here. I think it’s deplorable. Aren’t the doors situated so that you can still get out even after the doors are locked? Could you offer to be the one to lock the doors on the days you attend mass? Jesus is alone in the church all day…

That was my thought as well. Why is the church locked all day???

you can’t complain that Catholics don’t visit the Blessed Sacrament if you keep the doors locked. that’s awful.

 

[pianistclare]

I am not sure what else she attends to, we are blessed with a big parish and a lot of helpers so the church is well looked after.

I would there could ne an allowance made fro personal prayer after Mass. Stress that there are people who may want to make a visit and are going elsewhere.

 

[peter26]

That was my thought as well. Why is the church locked all day???

you can’t complain that Catholics don’t visit the Blessed Sacrament if you keep the doors locked. that’s awful.

I have to say I love it when churches are left open throughout the day and you can just go in a pray for a while. Its a great resource to give people, especially in a busy town center, to just step out of the hustle bustle for a few minutes and spend some time with Jesus.

 

[Catholic1954]

That was my thought as well. Why is the church locked all day???

you can’t complain that Catholics don’t visit the Blessed Sacrament if you keep the doors locked. that’s awful.

Most churches in my diocese are locked when not in use. We have a vandalism problem. Some parishes do have 24 adoration, but you need a key or access number for the lock. I have all but given up praying in the church.

 

[Dorothy]

Most churches in my diocese are locked when not in use. We have a vandalism problem. Some parishes do have 24 adoration, but you need a key or access number for the lock. I have all but given up praying in the church.

There is a parish not too far from me that has adoration of the Blessed Sacrament 24/7. Sadly, there has been some harassment at times, and so the necessity for a code number to open the lock

 

[pianistclare]

Most churches in my diocese are locked when not in use. We have a vandalism problem. Some parishes do have 24 adoration, but you need a key or access number for the lock. I have all but given up praying in the church.

I find that incredible.
We close up around 9-10 pm. the parish down the road closed at midnight.

 

[maltmom]

If I were you I’d speak to my Priest about this. He may not be aware that you and others are being rushed out after Mass. He may be in agreement to keep the church open for 10 or 15 mins after Mass for those who wish to pray.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

I sometimes remain for hours after the Mass, but I usually have things to do in the church and I have the key.

How post-Mass/Adoration prayer is handled varies from parish to parish, diocese to diocese, country to country. While I, too, would like the churches to stay open longer, all day ideally, I understand that is sometimes, often, or never possible depending upon the church. Like Catholic1954, we also have a vandalism problem in the region. Things are stolen or damaged; just two weeks ago I had to have someone banished due to multiple-occurrence theft (yes, I had proof). In my own parish, our pastor has declared that the churches (there are two, plus a chapel) be locked when not in use. Incredible though it may seem, that’s his decision, made after having explored all reasonable alternatives given the resources at the parish’s disposal. Objectively we should be able to do this; the reality on the ground dictates otherwise, at least for now. I and others may not like it, but there it is. Father is the one ultimately responsible for the parish. I may not like his choices about a given situation but they are his to make, not mine.

Having said that, we usually give people at least 5-15 minutes to pray afterwards. My only non-negotiable exception is following the evening Mass in the chapel on Friday when my assistant isn’t around to lock up afterwards. In that case, I need to get going right away in order to open another church for Adoration less than an hour and a half later. Staying another 5-15 minutes would deprive me of dinner, a meal I can’t omit for health reasons. The doors of all churches are locked with a key. Once this is done, no one still inside can exit without a key. (I have had to respond to cries for help via cell phone because the last person with a key left without checking to make sure the building was truly empty.) For all Masses and Adoration, I try to be accommodating if someone wants to stay up to a half hour afterwards. Sometimes, however, I have an appointment or an emergency and in that case I have no choice.

I mention all this because sometimes that’s just the way things are. Do mention it to the pastor/parish priest if it’s a concern to you, but be prepared to be told and accept that other approaches have already been considered. I’m not saying that will definitely happen, but it’s a credible possibility.

===============

For the OP: I have two observations about the scenario you presented. First, if the priest has not even removed his vestments yet, I don’t see what the big rush is. Second, the man yelling “Are you done yet?!?!?!” was completely out of line. There are correct and incorrect ways of clearing the church if necessary; his is an example of the latter. If this is a common occurrence, your parish priest needs to know about it.

In the short term, just do the best that you can with the resources you have, meager though they may seem. I know a few people in my parish who would stay longer after Mass if they could, but they have all expressed to me that they are still thankful for the time they do have. Don’t be afraid to approach your priest, new(ish) Catholic or not. He is a person and cannot read minds, so he won’t know something is bothering you if you don’t tell him. If you have any potential solutions in mind, be prepared to offer them if the opportunity presents itself but please don’t force them upon him.

Unfortunately, sometimes the easiest/best/only alternative is to attend Mass elsewhere. I hope it doesn’t come to that for you.