Leaving the Church

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kit_katt

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I would like to know if there are any formal process beyond simply informing my priest. I have not attended church or any other religious meeting for a long time, but I have been baptised and confirmed. Thanks:)
 
Can you leave? Sort answer: yes, but it’s more complicated than that

I’ve always believed that “once a Catholic always a Catholic” Yes, you can stop going to mass and attend protestant or Unitarian or Jewish or Muslim or whatever service you want, but in the end you’re still Catholic. You’ve just abandoned your faith. As far as I know, the most you can do is revoke your parishioner status at your former church. Your baptism and Confirmation are sacraments bound in both heaven and earth. What God has brought forth within you by the grace of His sacraments can never be revoked, they are with you always!

May God bless you and keep you safe as you find your way in His Truth. I’ll be praying for you!
 
The formal process for leaving the Church is to write to your bishop and inform him of your leaving. I believe this officially removes from you the requirement for obedience to Cannon Law, but the marks of Baptism and Confirmation will always be on your soul. As another said, Once Catholic, Always Catholic. This just makes it so that you officially aknowledge that you have rejected Christ’s church, and are no longer required to obey the rules regarding marriage, fasting, etc. Of course, you would still be held accountable to your informed conscience before God.
 
I’ll pray that God may give you good things and lead you to happiness.
 
I can’t agree with some things in the church, mainly with your views on abortion and homosexuality, no matter how hard I’ve hard I’ve tried. You don’t ‘choose’ to be homosexual, just like you don’t ‘choose’ to be straight. Yes, I know Catholics think being gay means that you’re gonna go out and have sex with everbody and I know some gay people that do that but plenty of straight people do too. My gay friends are genuinly good people, though when they were young they were rejected and even got beat up for being the way they are.

As for abortion, I’m not quite sure what is right and whats wrong, but I’m pretty sure its a woman’s right to do what she must. If she is in extreme poverty, she wouldn’t to bring a baby into the world. Would you? If she was raped, she wouldn’t be able to even look at the child- the kid’s face would remind her of the person who terrorized her. And if you made mistakes when you were a teen,* woud you want to loose years? The average girl would never be able to go to college, to make a life for her baby and herself because most teen fathers don’t even attempt to be apart of the baby’s life. Myself, I wouldn’t be able to give up the child, since my dad is a doctor I know I could support him/her even without a job, but then again I’ve never been in that situation.

Also, I’ve taken a look at the world and I’m not so sure I believe in a Creator. I thought I was connected to God, I used to pray all the time and thought I was, but maybe I was just relieved to get all my emotions out, if even no one was there. Thats what I thought prayer was- talking to God. Like a close friend. But then if you look at the state of the world with so many horrorible things happening everywhere, shouldn’t God be here to help us? We can barely take care of ourselves, let alone the planet you think he gave us.So shouldn’t God help us out some more? Thats not to say I don’t belive there is an afterlife- I think something happens, but I’m not sure what.

I’m young, and I’m still searching for myself. At the moment, I’m thinking about joining the movement called Humanism. Its not atheism, but it is a way of life that supports scientific thinking, family, and the wellness of people in general. Who knows, maybe I will go back to the Church after a while.I’ve read about people who have done that. If what I was taught is true, then God will forgive me for abadoning him/her/it. But for now…I can’t say.
 
Kit Kat, I will pray for you so that you may find a peaceful resolution to all your moral dilemmas. May God bless you.
 
Thanks, mary 🙂

Its nice to see a catholic who isn’t condemming me, foe once.
 
You don’t ‘choose’ to be homosexual, just like you don’t ‘choose’ to be straight. Yes, I know Catholics think being gay means that you’re gonna go out and have sex with everbody and I know some gay people that do that but plenty of straight people do too. My gay friends are genuinly good people, though when they were young they were rejected and even got beat up for being the way they are.
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But The Church dosn’t teach that homosexuality is a ‘choice’, she teaches that homosexual actions are a sin. There are plenty of Catholics who have SSA (Same sex attraction), they just don’t act upon their impulses, just as an alcoholic cannot act upon their impulse to drink. Courage.net is the site of an apostolate that ministers to those who have SSA.
As for abortion, I’m not quite sure what is right and whats wrong, but I’m pretty sure its a woman’s right to do what she must. If she is in extreme poverty, she wouldn’t to bring a baby into the world. Would you? If she was raped, she wouldn’t be able to even look at the child- the kid’s face would remind her of the person who terrorized her. And if you made mistakes when you were a teen,* woud you want to loose years? The average girl would never be able to go to college, to make a life for her baby and herself because most teen fathers don’t even attempt to be apart of the baby’s life. Myself, I wouldn’t be able to give up the child, since my dad is a doctor I know I could support him/her even without a job, but then again I’ve never been in that situation.
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Adoption. There are hundreds, thousands of couples who cannot have their own children and are more than capable of loving, and caring for a child. Where is the right of the child in your view? When does the fetus become a child? When is it not then ok to have an abortion? What’s different between a child in the womb, and a child out of the womb?
Also, I’ve taken a look at the world and I’m not so sure I believe in a Creator.
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This is possibly the most basic of your dilemmas, and one of the hardest to solve. I would say that faith is a gift we must ask for, but if you honestly do not believe then you’re right, it would be intellectually dishonest to remain Catholic. The Catholic teaching on suffering is the only one I’ve seen that provides a response to human suffering while retaining human dignity, and clearly explains God’s love.

Perhaps you’ve investigated these issues very seriously, but I would urge you to study what the Church does teach before leaving. Often people are surprised to find Doctrine does not say what they think it says, and many Church teachings are supposedly common knowledge, but that common knowledge is incorrect. I’ll pray for you in my rosary tonight.
 
But homosexuality is natural! If the church allowed them to get married, maybe they would be more inclined to stay chaste. If you truly, truly love a person and were forever denied the natural right to consumate that love, how would you feel? Depressed, and full of doubt for God. It makes no sense to deny them that basic right! The bible says its wrong, but what about the incest in the bible? Should that make it ok to have sex with one’s siblings? The world is changing, and I think the Church needs to realize that it saying homosexuality is unnatural is as wrong as a black is underneath a white man.

Adoption is an option for some people, but not if they’re like me. I wonder how strong those women could be to have gone through hours of labor and finally hear her baby’s cries then never to see it again. They would forever love those children, but while those kids grew up they would never even know she existed.
 
Well, it sounds like you feel a bit separated from the Church already, kit_katt. I left for a year or so myself. I thought I could never live up to what the Church expected from me, that I could never reconcile what I felt and what I thought I was with what the Church stands for and teaches.

But then I realized that I don’t have to reconcile that. I’m not the reconciler. God is. Doh!

I also had a certain attachment to a certain way of seeing things that was keeping me from being able to see what the Church was really saying. Forming a Catholic worldview and a Catholic conscience is something that doesn’t happen on its own or overnight. It takes work, prayer, study, sacraments, grace, prayer, grace, prayer, prayer, prayer… and did I mention prayer?

I’ll pray for you, kit_katt. And will you do something too? Will you pray a rosary and a Divine Mercy chaplet for the intention of receiving grace and light for your path before you make the decision to leave the Church?

And if you want more light on all this in the form of the written word, might I suggest reading JPII’s The Gospel of Life? But please don’t read it instead of praying the rosary and the chaplet.

May God bless you and help you through this time of struggle. He has helped me. I have faith that He will help you too.
 
I’ll try that, Lee. Ha, I just realized that I still have my rosary on this little statue of mary that was given to me. Just realized I still had that statue, too!
 
Well, how’s that for grace and light already flowing into your life? 🙂

I’ve got my rosary right here and I’ll begin right now. 🙂

(I bought this little $3 wooden rosary at a tiny monastery when I was in the Southwest, searching for my way in the drifting sands of the desert. I’ve carried it in my pocket everywhere I go ever since that day. I held onto these humble little beads as if they were a rope thrown to me when I was drowning and they brought me back home. And let’s just ignore my mixed metaphor of deserts and drowning. The desert was real, though, and so was my feeling of being swept away by my own despair. This kind of thing is only driven out…by prayer.)
 
I can’t pray right now. I’m in Kansas and my rosary is back home is back home in the Buckeye state. Unfortunately, back home couldn’t mean here, because its so much warmer here! But not as much snow…

I have a couple of rosaries (would that be it in the plural? 🤷 ) from when I was a little(technically I still am kid. I think. Does being in HS make you a kid?) the plastic kind, one from France, and I bought one a while back that was gorgeous but i don’t remember if I gave it to my mom or not…It was from that beautiful cathedral in DC.

Well its almost 4 AM here, and I’m going to play laser tag tommorow and possibly ice skate if my foot/leg is fully healed and functional since I sprained/stabbed myself with the skate on accident a few days ago. Thankyou for praying for me!👍
 
No thanks necessary. You can still pray an Our Father, a Hail Mary and a Glory Be, even without a rosary, ya know. And fingers work just as well as beads. Ahem. 😉

I’m going back to the rosary now. I’m only on the second mystery. Have a good time tomorrow. And a safe time too. 🙂

Peace.
 
I can understand why you may be having some difficulties. One question I would ask is how much do you know about what the Church teaches and why? I have found in my own life that I had a lot of the same difficulties you have in understanding the Church. It took a lot of serious study on my part to try to see the reasons. I am much older than you but I go to college (don’t ask, long story) and I talk to a lot of young people who were involved in church growing up, but never understood the Church. If you are looking into another religion, I assume you are studying their doctrines and dogma. I assume that you are trying to understand where they get their doctrine and dogma. I would just ask that you give the Catholic Church the same consideration and investigation. Please do not just go on what you think the Church means, but find the correct answers.

On another note, the abortion issue. First, I agree that a woman has a right to do what she wants with her body. If the “fetus” were her body then she could get rid of it. However, what science tells us is that every part of my body has my DNA. That “fetus” does not have the exact DNA of that woman (or the father for that matter) and is therefore a seperate and distinctly different person/body.

Yes, I can only imagine how difficult of a decision it would be to make an adoption plan for your child. This is something that I will have to try to explain to my son some day. You see, his parents were very young and could not give him the life that they wanted for him and that they felt he deserved so they made a plan for his life instead of a plan for his death. I am sure that my husband’s biological mother also had a difficult time with this same decision, but because these 2 women made these plans I not only have my husband and son but also 2 biological children. You see both adoption and abortion have long reaching consequences.
The Church recognizes the value of every life and defends it. It is the ultimate social justice and human rights organization. It is one of the reasons I love and defend the Church today.
 
I’d like to add two things to that really thoughtful post, Monica, just for a little clarification and because I’ve been thinking about kit_katt and her situation all day, well, most of the night and all day. 🙂
  1. Even if we were discussing the woman’s body, she would not be able to remove (as in, kill) it, because, as the Church teaches and also the Bible, our bodies are not our own. We belong to God. This is why the teachings on life are not only about abortion but include euthanasia, suicide, those with disabilities, etc. Removing a limb is another matter.
This is why I have been recommending reading the Gospel of Life to people far and wide lately. And I wish it were being taught in every parish.
  1. And kit_katt, I’d just like to pass on something I’ve heard Fr. Groeschel say. He quotes (and I’m paraphrasing) St. Augustine as saying that we should be very careful in our search for God; if we find a God to our liking and that we can fully understand, we have not found God but, rather, have made for ourselves an idol.
So, if you are investigating other religions and ideas, be careful to search for truth and not merely for opinions that conveniently match your own. If that were all we needed, we wouldn’t need any religion or philosophies at all. We could just tell ourselves whatever we wanted to hear. And that is all too often exactly what people do, no matter what “ism” they claim.
 
kit_katt: I hope that you can see the truth and not leave the Church. I hope that you don’t give up. Keep reading, talk to a priest. I would give him a polite warning first and ask him to please be patient while you ask the questions and kind of argue your point with him.

These discussions can get heated so agree before hand to not get personal and to be patient with each other and listen to each other.

God created us and created the Church. Without Him you wouldn’t have life. Try to at least give him a chance to help you see the truth.

Thoughts and prayers with you.
 
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