Leaving the Forums, Possibly Leaving the Church: Pray for Me

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THutch04

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I normally don’t do this, but I felt it was appropriate to put in this section:

I think the title says it all. I did this once before, but I think I’m going to have to take a longer break this time. When I find myself actually getting angry at some things I read, I take that as a sign that I am not being helped spiritually, nor am I helping anyone by participating.

As for the second part: I know I’ve posted about this generally on several threads, but just to say it publicly, yes, I am considering leaving the Church. I have been a Catholic for almost 2 years and I cannot say that I fully accept everything that it teaches and proclaims. Until and unless I can say that, I do not feel that I deserve to call myself a Catholic. I believe that I always received the Body of Christ in my former Church, and being required to believe I did not is not something I am able to do at this moment. Had I known and been made fully aware that this was an actual requirement, I would have probably not even converted. It’s my own fault though: I should not have expected my RCIA director or a priest for that matter, to be aware of this particular issue. Maybe I’m not fully “leaving” the Church. As of right now I still plan on attending Mass out of obligation without receiving the Sacraments. But I do not believe that I can truly refer to myself as a Catholic at this point.

I ask that you don’t judge me, but instead please pray for me. I do enjoy reading the forums, and although recently there have been some things said that have upset me, I will truly miss some posters here.
 
THutch, I don’t ordinarily read this forum, but your post caught my eye. Yes, I will pray for you. It was 23 years ago today that I was received into the Church, and my feelings towards it has varied over the years. I think you are entering into a “dry” period, and that is all right. Christ, too, spent time in the desert and came from it stronger.

God bless and keep you,

Dale
 
Hi Hutch

We have never spoken, but I saw your post and couldn’t help feeling attracted to it.
THutch04 said:
I normally don’t do this,
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I’m glad that you did post.
When I find myself actually getting angry at some things I read, I take that as a sign that I am not being helped spiritually, nor am I helping anyone by participating.
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You must be patient with yourself or you’ll break. Anger is an emotion, not a character flaw. Our Holy Father St. Francis went away on a trip to preach in some far away town. When he returned to Assisi, he found that the Brothers were living in a large house, instead of the simple hut where he had left them. He became so angry that he climbed onto the roof and tore it off tile by tile. This is the man who two years after his death was canonized and named by the Church as The Mirror of Perfection.

St. Teresa of Avila was traveling on a wagon when a wheel fell off. She was in a hurry to get to her destination. She got so angry at Jesus that she looked toward heaven and said, “If this is the way that you treat your friends, it’s little wonder that you have so few of them.”
I am considering leaving the Church. I have been a Catholic for almost 2 years and I cannot say that I fully accept everything that it teaches and proclaims.
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Peter walked along with the Lord for three years. At the Last Supper, Jesus told them that he must go away and that they would stay behind. Peter did not understand and protested. Thomas also walked with Jesus for three years and doubted his resurrection until he put his fingers into his wounds.

Yet, it was to Peter that Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” Jesus was the good shephard and Peter was a fisherman. He knew nothign about sheep. Yet, Jesus gave him his job, to be the vicar of the Good Shephard. Peter still did not understand. When Paul came to him with the Gentile converts, Peter rejected them because they were not Jews. It took some fancy talking on Paul’s part to get Peter to see.

You have been walking with Jesus in the Catholic Church for only two years. Don’t you think that you may be expecting too much from yourself? It took the Apostles years to understand and to develop a deep faith.

Faith is a gift that is given to us in the measure that we can tolerate. God is so merciful that he does not overwhelm us.
Until and unless I can say that, I do not feel that I deserve to call myself a Catholic.
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Peter denied Christ three times. Did he deserve to call himself a Christian? Christ believed that he did, otherwise he would not have given him the Keys to the Kingdom. Christ does not judge us on the basis of what we lack, but on the basis of what we have.

The fact that you feel that faith demands more of you means that you do have faith; otherwise, it would not be important to you. A peson who lacks faith does not meditate on it or give it much thought as you have obviously have done.

Perhaps you are misunderstanding the true meaning of faith. Faith is not just about believing what the Church teaches. That’s only part of it. It’s a developmental process. The longer we are Catholic, the deeper we go, but the questions never go away. We are human and were designed in the image and likeness of God. God is intelligent. Therefore, we too are called to be intelligent. We ask questions and we doubt, not because we lack faith, but because as the great saints and doctors of the Church have said, “Faith seeks understanding.”

It sounds like you have doubts, because you are still seeking answers. There is nothing wrong with that.

If you leave the Church, if you deprive yourself of the Eucharist, you deprive yourself of the grace that will lead you to find the answers that you’re looking for.
Had I known and been made fully aware that this was an actual requirement, I would have probably not even converted.
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When you entered the Catholic Church you were asked if you believed what the Church believes and teaches. You answered, “Yes.” At that moment you felt this. That is worth something. Don’t dismiss that.

Now you feel that you’re not so certain about this. This has been the experience of most of the great saints of the Church. St. John of the Cross calls this the Dark Night of the Soul. His solution was to pray, stay close to Christ through the sacraments, trust the Church, even though your may not trust your own judgment. He spoke not from theological theory, but from his own experience. In the end, he woke up from the dark night and found morning. It was a painful experience for him and all those holy men and women who went through this. But those who bit the bullet and remained faithful to what they promised eventually reached a level of spiritual union between their soul and Christ that many of us have never achieved, even though we feel very comfortable in the Church.

Maybe, God is allowing you to experience spiritual aridity and doubts not for his sake, but for your own sake, that you may be able to prove to yourself that you can be faithful to your promise when you entered the Church, despite your doubts.

Do not deprive yourself of the life that Christ offers in the Eucharist, just because of a feeling. Feelings are like the seasons of the year. They come and go in cycles. Christ remains through each and every cycle. Stay with him.

Peace and Happy Easter!

JR 🙂
 
Long time ago, I not only doubted Catholic teachings but made a decision to disprove Catholic teachings. Unfortunately, while I decided to engage the task of disproving Catholic teachings, there was something that kept me waking up early morning every day in order to participate in the Holy Mass. There, I begged God to help me in my anger and disprove Church teachings. The study and search went on for more than twenty years. What did I discover? What I discovered put me into my knees. For instead of disproving Catholic teachings, I found out that Her teachings are pure and true!

May you also discover this wonderful truth.
 
My friend, if you did not have doubts, you would not be a human being. As one who cares about you, I ask you to defer coming to conclusions about the nature of communion at your former church. If, indeed, you believe in the Real Presence in the Eucharist in the Catholic Church, you should not deprive yourself of it just because you are having trouble with the notion of its exclusivity. You have a lifetime to study that and think it out. And do you think Jesus will reject you in the end if you go to Him still questioning it? If you’re faithful to Him, He will be faithful to you. He does not expect you to solve all theological issues.
 
agangbern said:
Long time ago, I not only doubted Catholic teachings but made a decision to disprove Catholic teachings. Unfortunately, while I decided to engage the task of disproving Catholic teachings, there was something that kept me waking up early morning every day in order to participate in the Holy Mass. There, I begged God to help me in my anger and disprove Church teachings. The study and search went on for more than twenty years. What did I discover? What I discovered put me into my knees. For instead of disproving Catholic teachings, I found out that Her teachings are pure and true!

May you also discover this wonderful truth.
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You are in good company. This was the experience of St. Teresa of Avila and St. Elizabeth Ann Seton.

JR 🙂
 
Ridgerunner said:
My friend, if you did not have doubts, you would not be a human being. As one who cares about you, I ask you to defer coming to conclusions about the nature of communion at your former church. If, indeed, you believe in the Real Presence in the Eucharist in the Catholic Church, you should not deprive yourself of it just because you are having trouble with the notion of its exclusivity. You have a lifetime to study that and think it out. And do you think Jesus will reject you in the end if you go to Him still questioning it? If you’re faithful to Him, He will be faithful to you. He does not expect you to solve all theological issues.
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I agree. God does not abandon those who seek him.

JR 🙂
 
THutch, you are always welcome here. 🙂

I will pray for you. St. Monica pray with us: God, always guide and keep THutch close to Your perfect heart, and lead her in accord with Your holy will always. Amen. :signofcross:
 
Lord, your child is in need of your tender love and mercy. She needs your guidance and direction, we pray that you walk with her, now and always, and help her while she struggles with her faith.
She is angry Lord, may you bring her peace. Grant her understanding, love and patience for those who mistakenly pass judgement on others in your name. May she find forgiveness in her heart, as did you when you cried out "Father Forgive them, they know not what they do!"

Lord, may you guide her, that she may recognize Your Will for her only. That she not be swayed by anger, but that all choices she make in her daily life, be choices born of love and faith in you.

Lord, none of us are worthy of You, we kneel humbly before You asking for your divine love and mercy, I ask not only for myself this Holy Easter Sunday, but for THutch04, may you hold her near in your heart, in your loving embrace, strengthening her faith in you Lord. May you grant her peace in her heart as she feels your love pour out abundantly within her. May she not stray far from you Lord, but in undying faith, may she put her troubles in your capable hands, and allow you to offer your loving guidance in her every day.
Amen.

THutch, I pray that you find peace of mind, and that you feel God’s love for you as you struggle with your faith. Do not lose hope! Today is Easter Sunday, and as I reflect on The Resurrection of Christ, I will pray that your faith in the Catholic Church too shall be resurrected. May God be with you in all that you do.
 
Please don’t leave…Praying that Mother Mary will wrap you in her mantle and comfort and intercede for you…

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
J†M†J
Praying for your intentions:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

God Bless
In Jesus through Mary
Steve
 
Praying.

I suggest reading mystics and lives of the saints for inspiration.

God bless your journey.
 
THutch, humanity is a complex thing to deal with. I’m a cradle catholic and I have seen things that would break anyones faith. But the truth is that Jesus asked us all to stay “together” and “be patient with one another”. Inevitably no matter where you go, you will find all sorts of imperfections. It is humanitys’ nature! We have so many religions now for this very reason, but our true goal is to be obedient and pleasing to the Lord and he wants us to “be patient and stay together”. Jesus spent time with us and a couple of times lost his patience too. Just quiet your mind and be still for a moment, make it your sole purpose to please the Lord in His request of staying together and being patient. Maybe this is your cross to carry for Him. THutch spectators at the church are many,but those “truly awake” are called to sainthood and the crosses are heavy. The same family that raised me catholic have given me their back because they now want to embrase “The World” in all it’s misery and I refuse to follow them. It has caused me a lot of sufferring to the point of making me sick with anxiety attacks and it is consumming my life, I barely leave my house now. But I love them, I pray for them and I have faith they will return. Right now you are truly blessed that you can freely take yourself anywhere, I can’t even drive anymore. Being awake and really seeing is hard, I understand you, but be merciful with yourself, that is the part I forgot and I overwhlmed myself. May God in all his glory today bless you.
 
:gopray: Know that you are loved and many of us here are praying for you. Be patient with your disbelief, work through it. What could it hurt?
 
Easter blessings to you, THutch!

From today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Prayers and Intercessions
Let us pray to Christ, the source of life. God raised him from the dead; in turn, he himself will raise us to life by his power. We cry out to him:
  • Christ, our life, save us.
Christ, you are the lightning that flashes across the darkness, the prince of life, the sanctifier of all that is mortal:
may we give you praise by the way we live our lives today.
Lord, you trod the path of the Passion and the Cross:
grant that we, suffering and dying with you, may also be resurrected with you.
Son of the Father, our teacher and our brother, you have made us a royal priesthood for our God:
may we joyfully offer you a sacrifice of praise.
King of glory, we look forward to the day when you come again
to show us your face and make us be like you.

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those that trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

O God, death has been defeated today by your only-begotten Son
and the way to eternity lies open before us.
Grant that we who celebrate the feast of the Resurrection today
may be renewed by your Spirit
and rise again in living light.

Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever and ever.
Amen.
 
THutch04 said:
I normally don’t do this, but I felt it was appropriate to put in this section:

I think the title says it all. I did this once before, but I think I’m going to have to take a longer break this time. When I find myself actually getting angry at some things I read, I take that as a sign that I am not being helped spiritually, nor am I helping anyone by participating.

As for the second part: I know I’ve posted about this generally on several threads, but just to say it publicly, yes, I am considering leaving the Church. I have been a Catholic for almost 2 years and I cannot say that I fully accept everything that it teaches and proclaims. Until and unless I can say that, I do not feel that I deserve to call myself a Catholic. I believe that I always received the Body of Christ in my former Church, and being required to believe I did not is not something I am able to do at this moment. Had I known and been made fully aware that this was an actual requirement, I would have probably not even converted. It’s my own fault though: I should not have expected my RCIA director or a priest for that matter, to be aware of this particular issue. Maybe I’m not fully “leaving” the Church. As of right now I still plan on attending Mass out of obligation without receiving the Sacraments. But I do not believe that I can truly refer to myself as a Catholic at this point.

I ask that you don’t judge me, but instead please pray for me. I do enjoy reading the forums, and although recently there have been some things said that have upset me, I will truly miss some posters here.
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I will include you in my prayers in a special way and have added your intentions to the list on my blog. Peace be with you.

Kelly
“We do not really want a religion that is right where we are right. What we want is a religion that is right where we are wrong.” – G.K. Chesterton, The Catholic Church and Conversion
 
THutch04 said:
I normally don’t do this, but I felt it was appropriate to put in this section:

I think the title says it all. I did this once before, but I think I’m going to have to take a longer break this time. When I find myself actually getting angry at some things I read, I take that as a sign that I am not being helped spiritually, nor am I helping anyone by participating.

As for the second part: I know I’ve posted about this generally on several threads, but just to say it publicly, yes, I am considering leaving the Church. I have been a Catholic for almost 2 years and I cannot say that I fully accept everything that it teaches and proclaims. Until and unless I can say that, I do not feel that I deserve to call myself a Catholic. I believe that I always received the Body of Christ in my former Church, and being required to believe I did not is not something I am able to do at this moment. Had I known and been made fully aware that this was an actual requirement, I would have probably not even converted. It’s my own fault though: I should not have expected my RCIA director or a priest for that matter, to be aware of this particular issue. Maybe I’m not fully “leaving” the Church. As of right now I still plan on attending Mass out of obligation without receiving the Sacraments. But I do not believe that I can truly refer to myself as a Catholic at this point.

I ask that you don’t judge me, but instead please pray for me. I do enjoy reading the forums, and although recently there have been some things said that have upset me, I will truly miss some posters here.
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God got angry at some of the things he saw, you need to remember you are a human being with all the flaws and shortcomings, of being a human, don’t be so hard on yourself, i will pray the holy father will fill you with his healing light and guide you on your path, god bless you :gopray2:
 
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