Legal Marriage

[old_school]

I recently found out that my gf was legally married. She and her fiance were Lutherns. None the less they were married in a courthouse and since then are now in the process of being divorced and are seperated. They never took vowes or had anything done with any mention of God or with any church. The divorce finalizes in December. What is the status of that marriaged, does the church recognize this, what does this mean for me? What should I do? Thanks and God Bless.

 

[YADA]

Your GF needs to meet with your parish priest and discuss the situation. Currently she is not free to be dating nor to be contracting a new marriage as she is still married legally [until the marriage is final].

No tribunal will ever make a decision upon a marriage that has not been disolved in civil court…catholic or other…the marriage must have ended in a civil decree before any sacramental decision is considered…

Marriages contracted between two non-catholics is considered valid until an application for nullity is made and then the normal investigations are followed and the the sacramentallity is either established or not.

One confusion catholics have is in civil marriages [like before a justice of the peace]. For Catholics, this would not be a sacramental marriage but for protestants it is considered valid. The Lutheran Church would recognize this marriage and therefore the Catholic Church would also. I know that seems like a double standard but the Catholic Church does not make the rules that practicing Lutheran’s must follow. If the Lutheran Church would recognize this marriage it cannot become defacto non-sacramental for a lack of form to make things convenient for you…

I was married before a justice of the peace as a Church of Christ member…when I came into the Church years later and after a divorce I was required to submit that first marriage to the Tribunal for a decision before I could have a valid catholic marriage…

I will pray for you and your GF… You both need to step back and get your lives normalized before you go forward…

Then if she gets her civil divorce and a decree of nullity, and you decide to marry…please take the marriage preparation seriously… and your faith even more seriously… attending church each Sunday, praying together, etc… That is the foundation upon which lasting marriages are built…those that have God at the center … Blessings upon you both…

 

[1ke]

What is the status of that marriaged, does the church recognize this, what does this mean for me?

This marriage is a valid marriage, and what it means is that she is not free to marry you. Her marriage would have to be examined for nullity by the Catholic Church-- and that outcome is not guaranteed.

So, the first step would be for her to talk to a priest.

What should I do?

Consider dating someone who is free to marry. She is not. It is unwise to date a non-Catholic in the first place, let alone one who is not yet divorced and who will have to go through a Tribunal process to examine the prior marriage.

If you continue to see her, you need to take it slow and protect your heart until such time as she is declared free to marry by the Church-- if she is. If she is not free to marry-- you will have to end the relationship.

As I said, there is no guarantee that her marriage will be found null and this process will take quite a long time. You cannot progress with any sort of plans until you know whether or not her prior bond is valid.

Go talk to your priest.

 

[old_school]

I have some added information that I noticed I miss worded, she is not baptised in anything but was a non practicing luthern. I dont thnk that changes anything. Thanks for everyones help! God Bless.

 

[YADA]

A non baptized person is not technically a Christian, but as you say she was atttending a Lutheran Church…that may or may not change the status … I was baptized Chruch of Christ and my exH was a non batized person, who stil considered himself Christian even if marginally so [he never attended any church during our marriage - and childhood attendance was sketchy to non existant]. We still went through the entire annulment process. I am not sure to what extent he participated [answered questions, etc…all communication between him, his witnesses and the tribunal were unseen by my eyes]

We were granted an annulment and his lack of baptism may have been a factor … but as I said we were married by a Justicce of the Peace and that point was not the ‘non sacramental’ factor it would heve been de facto for a catholic person or couple…

As I stated, no annlument process can even begin until the civil divorce is settled…

Lutheran’s [as far as I understand it] can marry baptized or un-baptized, inside the church and civil ceremonies and all be considered valid…the Church starts from that position…

 

[1ke]

I have some added information that I noticed I miss worded, she is not baptised in anything but was a non practicing luthern. I dont thnk that changes anything. Thanks for everyones help! God Bless.

Well, lack of baptism *might *open up another option to her if her marriage is found to be valid. As an unbaptized person-- if she seeks baptism in the Catholic Church-- she may be able to have her first marriage dissolved via the Pauline Privilege or the Petrine Privilege depending upon whether her first spouse was baptized.

This is all very speculative– and again the first step is to talk to a priest and someone at the diocese well versed in the marriage tribunal process.

 

[drafdog]

What the bleep are you doing dating a married woman in the first place? You should be ashamed of yourself. You show very little respect for marriage in behaving in this fashion. You should cease and desist immediately. Only after her civil divorce is final should you be dating her.
Didn’t your mother teach you better?

Matthew

 

[puzzleannie]

this woman is validly married until proven otherwise. that investigation is done by the canon law tribunal of the Catholic diocese where either party resides, or where the marriage was contracted. Her baptismal status, religious affiliation or lack of it are beside the point. Even if she were Catholic and married civilly there is still a canon law procedure to go through, In any case, they are not yet divorced, therefore they are married. The tribunal will not even investigate until there is no hope of recnciliation. You have no business dating a married women. To save you and her a lot of grief break this off unless and until she is free to marry.

 

[Nevarlander]

What the bleep are you doing dating a married woman in the first place? You should be ashamed of yourself. You show very little respect for marriage in behaving in this fashion. You should cease and desist immediately. Only after her civil divorce is final should you be dating her.
Didn’t your mother teach you better?

Matthew

Dude… he said he just found out she was married.