Lent depression

[Justicia_et_Pax]

Basically I’m just wondering if anyone else gets bad depression/Catholic guilt in the run-up to and during Lent? I seem to have something like Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) but with liturgical seasons rather than weather-based ones. During Lent I become very depressed and withdrawn and feel taunted by evil spirits, telling me that I would never do for Jesus what He did for me. Does this happen to anyone else?

Just a few things to contextualise my experiences. I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression and psychosis because I hear voices. One of these is a really sinister Catholic guilt voice that tells me horrible things, brings back the terrifying imagery of the crucifixion scene in the epic ‘Jesus of Nazareth’ film and is basically trying to get me to kill myself. Since being diagnosed with psychosis, both my psychotic episodes have started around Lent and have been at there most severe during this time, both times culminating in suicide attempts During Lent 2010, I heard sinister whisperings booming around my university chapel during a play rehearsal of a scene involving “Satan”. These whisperings came from outside my head and were really overwhelmingly loud. They were not in English but in something akin to Parseltongue in Harry Potter (though unlike Harry, I didn’t understand or communicate with them). This Lent just gone I felt a dark force pushing my head down during the Maundy Thursday Mass

I know my illnesses explain everything that happens to me and my care team and priests are well aware of what happens to me. I guess basically I just want to know whether I’m the only person who finds Lent particularly difficult and undergoes a feeling of deeper depression during those weeks

 

[willofgods]

…]my care team and priests are well aware of what happens to me. I guess basically I just want to know whether I’m the only person who finds Lent particularly difficult and undergoes a feeling of deeper depression during those weeks

I’m glad it seems you are getting much needed help. Keep it going!

One man who certainly had reason to feel guilty was Judas Iscariot, who let his guilt overrun him.
BUT don’t forget, another man, Peter, also had reasons to be guilty:

[BIBLEDRB]Luke 22:61[/BIBLEDRB]

He certainly had moments where he felt he would never be able to do for Jesus what Jesus did for him!
After all, he told Jesus
[BIBLEDRB]Luke 22:33-34[/BIBLEDRB]

I bet there were times he wished he had been there with Jesus to witness his Sorrowful Passion. (Maybe you could pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet, or the Sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary, or meditate on the Stations of the Cross…preferably with a spiritual director, or a priest who understands what you are going through to adjust your visions of carnal mutilation, to images of Divine Love for you!
Despite it, Jesus gave to him the Keys to the Kingdom of Heaven! Pretty important, right?

Anyway, I’m sure you know this stuff already, so to get to your question:

During Lent I tend to feel pretty good the first week, until I fall into sin. Then things can get ugly for me. I get feelings of futility, i.e., no matter what I do, it won’t make up for the sins of my past and I might as well give up because it’s always just a matter of time before I’ll sin again. The devil tempts us all. He just does so differently from person to person.

However, I’ve only started frequently going to confession recently, so I’m hoping it may change this year! The sacraments are truly powerful!

Once again, I’m glad you have taken the steps to take care of yourself, having a care team and all. Keep on getting the help you need.

 

[Justicia_et_Pax]

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply. I hadn’t thought about Peter and Christ’s forgiveness of him

I might try and see if I can get someone to go through the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary and the Stations of the Cross with me

 

[willofgods]

Thank you for taking the time to start this thread! It helped me to apply Scripture to things I’d never thought of before

These verses will likely help you later down the road:
[BIBLEDRB]Matt 14:29-31[/BIBLEDRB]

At times, I’ve felt that if Jesus willed it, I could do anything! And at other times, that I just couldn’t do it…everything around me was too much! Jesus shows us through Peter that when we are sinking that, despite our doubts, all we have to do is call to him, “Lord, save me!” And He will do just that; all we have to do is reach out to his outstretched hand

Sometimes the winds and the rains of our lives cloud our view and we lose sight of just what is important. Not that we do what we think makes us worthy of Christ, but to have the faith that He will save us, even when we doubt.

 

[Justicia_et_Pax]

Thank you again. God bless you

 

[Neil_Anthony]

Basically I’m just wondering if anyone else gets bad depression/Catholic guilt in the run-up to and during Lent? I seem to have something like Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) but with liturgical seasons rather than weather-based ones. During Lent I become very depressed and withdrawn and feel taunted by evil spirits, telling me that I would never do for Jesus what He did for me. Does this happen to anyone else?

Just a few things to contextualise my experiences. I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression and psychosis because I hear voices. One of these is a really sinister Catholic guilt voice that tells me horrible things, brings back the terrifying imagery of the crucifixion scene in the epic ‘Jesus of Nazareth’ film and is basically trying to get me to kill myself. Since being diagnosed with psychosis, both my psychotic episodes have started around Lent and have been at there most severe during this time, both times culminating in suicide attempts During Lent 2010, I heard sinister whisperings booming around my university chapel during a play rehearsal of a scene involving “Satan”. These whisperings came from outside my head and were really overwhelmingly loud. They were not in English but in something akin to Parseltongue in Harry Potter (though unlike Harry, I didn’t understand or communicate with them). This Lent just gone I felt a dark force pushing my head down during the Maundy Thursday Mass

I know my illnesses explain everything that happens to me and my care team and priests are well aware of what happens to me. I guess basically I just want to know whether I’m the only person who finds Lent particularly difficult and undergoes a feeling of deeper depression during those weeks

Hi,

Do you know where all of this ‘catholic guilt’ came from? In my experience priests these days tend to avoid saying things that make people feel guilty. Is it from somewhere else maybe, something you could avoid?

No, I don’t get like that during lent. I seem to have the opposite problem - blaming God for making me defective and questioning whether the passion was really all that difficult for the man-God to endure. Sorry for saying that, I hope its not blasphemous.

Neil

 

[Justicia_et_Pax]

Hi,

Do you know where all of this ‘catholic guilt’ came from? In my experience priests these days tend to avoid saying things that make people feel guilty. Is it from somewhere else maybe, something you could avoid?

No, I don’t get like that during lent. I seem to have the opposite problem - blaming God for making me defective and questioning whether the passion was really all that difficult for the man-God to endure. Sorry for saying that, I hope its not blasphemous.

Neil

Don’t worry if it’s blasphemous or not: I’m a liberal Catholic (far too liberal for these forums, it would seem!)

I’m not sure where it came from. I think it was watching Jesus of Nazareth that young. I’m quite sensitive and it’s really stayed with me all my life. I’m not sure where else it would have come from, unless there are things from my childhood that I don’t rememeber

 

[Neil_Anthony]

Don’t worry if it’s blasphemous or not: I’m a liberal Catholic (far too liberal for these forums, it would seem!)

I’m not sure where it came from. I think it was watching Jesus of Nazareth that young. I’m quite sensitive and it’s really stayed with me all my life. I’m not sure where else it would have come from, unless there are things from my childhood that I don’t rememeber

Poor you! Have you heard that Jesus did this for us as a free gift, out of love? So we don’t have to feel bad about it, we can be really happy and praise Him for it. And to remember that someone cares about us so much!

Sort of like when superman saves the day. I don’t feel bad that he got hurt, I’m just happy that he saved the day. The differences being… obvious I guess

Or when your parents work hard to buy things for their kids. The kids shouldn’t feel guilty!

 

[Justicia_et_Pax]

Poor you! Have you heard that Jesus did this for us as a free gift, out of love? So we don’t have to feel bad about it, we can be really happy and praise Him for it. And to remember that someone cares about us so much!

Sort of like when superman saves the day. I don’t feel bad that he got hurt, I’m just happy that he saved the day. The differences being… obvious I guess

Or when your parents work hard to buy things for their kids. The kids shouldn’t feel guilty!

I like your Superman analogy. I’ll have to keep that in mind

Thanks for posting

 

[fred_conty]

I don’t think out family goes thu a depression during the time of Lent, it is more like
cabin fever. It’s been a long winter indoors with starring at one another and tempers
are wearing thin. I believe exercise runs a bit behind and we are plain tired of the cold and not being able to get outside. So…

And then Lent is a time of sacrifice which then lends another straw to the camel’s back.
However I sort of enjoy lent and doing something to show my appreciation for the good
things that Jesus has sent my way. And to look forward to Easter.

 

[fred_conty]

I forgot to add that I believe I suffer during the winter from lack of sunshine.
I understand there is an emotional downturn for some who don’t get enough sun
during winter. They have lights designed to make up for this but I never used them.
But I do know that when I deliberately sit in the sun for a while, it definetly helps pick up
my spirit.