Lent, Fasting, and Anorexia

[Mrdrbeckwith]

I have a question about fasting. My wife and I are joining the church at easter, and this will be our first lent. I really want to follow the tradition of fasting on all friday’s and ash wednesday. My wife thinks that it isn’t a good idea, because it could set me back on my road to recovery. I do not intend to use it as a way to “not eat” as I have never had that type of anorexia. I just get scared to gain weight and get fat again after I lost 160 lbs 5 years ago. I am getting help for the mental part, and I have beating the disorder by about 90%. I just want to know if I should fast at all, or if I should fast only on ash wednesday and good friday. Or should I not fast at all. I know that it is only meal, and two “snacks”, but I don’t want to upset my wife, my health, and god. Thank you everyone for your help.

 

[the_phoenix]

Hi Mrdrbeckwith,

Good question. There are other ways to fast besides from food. For instance, turn off the TV every Friday in Lent. Want to go further? Turn off the radio too. Even further? Internet.

If I were in your circumstances, I personally would fast according to Church guidelines … which is mandatory on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, whereas on the other Fridays in Lent what you are required to do is abstain from meat.

That said, since I am not you, but someone over the internet who has never met you, this is something you may want to talk to a priest about.

 

[Brywan]

I have a question about fasting. My wife and I are joining the church at easter, and this will be our first lent. I really want to follow the tradition of fasting on all friday’s and ash wednesday. My wife thinks that it isn’t a good idea, because it could set me back on my road to recovery. I do not intend to use it as a way to “not eat” as I have never had that type of anorexia. I just get scared to gain weight and get fat again after I lost 160 lbs 5 years ago. I am getting help for the mental part, and I have beating the disorder by about 90%. I just want to know if I should fast at all, or if I should fast only on ash wednesday and good friday. Or should I not fast at all. I know that it is only meal, and two “snacks”, but I don’t want to upset my wife, my health, and god. Thank you everyone for your help.

This is an instance where competent spiritual direction would be a good idea–if you don’t have a spiritual director or confessor (I assume you don’t, since you are just now coming into the church) my off-hand advice would be to do ONLY what the the church requires–no more. That is: fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and abstinence from Meat on the those days and all other Fridays in Lent. (Abstinence, not fasting is required on Fridays in Lent). As the other poster has already noted, you can “fast” from other things than food–TV, internet use, reading the newpaper, listening to the radio, going to movies, etc etc. Doesn’t have to be food–and in your particular case, since you have food “issues” best to take up any ideas of food fasting (beyond the Church requirement) with a priest or spiritual director…

Hope this helps, and God bless…

 

[1ke]

You need to talk to your priest.

 

[rhiannonh]

Yes good reply

I think that you will benefit from talking to your priest openly.

Or perhaps think about giving up tea or coffee for Lent, but eat normally? That way you would still be fasting, doing without something we take for granted, but your food/diet remains the same.

And allow your wife to monitor whether this is affecting you, ie, you find you are giving up other food stuff, you can both agree to stop the fast of tea/coffee straight away?

Good luck

 

[Cavaradossi]

I think you need to speak with a experienced priest, as the above posters have recommended. In the case of having an illness or recovering from illness, fasting (from a strictly food perspective) can be lessened or dispensed of altogether.

 

[Leegal]

I have a question about fasting. My wife and I are joining the church at easter, and this will be our first lent. I really want to follow the tradition of fasting on all friday’s and ash wednesday. My wife thinks that it isn’t a good idea, because it could set me back on my road to recovery. I do not intend to use it as a way to “not eat” as I have never had that type of anorexia. I just get scared to gain weight and get fat again after I lost 160 lbs 5 years ago. I am getting help for the mental part, and I have beating the disorder by about 90%. I just want to know if I should fast at all, or if I should fast only on ash wednesday and good friday. Or should I not fast at all. I know that it is only meal, and two “snacks”, but I don’t want to upset my wife, my health, and god. Thank you everyone for your help.

You need to speak with a priest and advise him of the condition. I think he will dispense you from fasting during Lent since you have an underlying condition that can be brought on by the Lenten fast. You really need to bring this up with a priest.

 

[seagal]

As another poster pointed out, there are many ways of fasting besides not eating (as my parish priest is fond of pointing out). Especially for someone whose health might be at risk as a result of fasting. You could give up time watching tv or on the internet, you could “fast” from sleep by getting up earlier and spending time in prayer. Talk to your priest, and ask God to let you know what you need to give up.

 

[agnes_therese]

You need to talk to your priest.

AND your doctor, please. Both should be involved in this decision.

 

[YoungTradCath]

I don’t get it. How can you be anorexic if you used to be overweight? As in, how can you be afraid of having a bout of anorexia if in the past your condition wasn’t anorexia but was obesity? Unless you lost so much weight that you became anorexic.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

AND your doctor, please. Both should be involved in this decision.

You need to talk to your priest.

^^These.^^

Your situation is beyond the scope CAF. You need to act in consult with your priest, your doctor, and your therapist.

Luna

 

[Anna_Claire]

You need to talk to your priest.

No…he does not…we give ourselves dispensations from fasting. A priest would tell him that. You can as others have pointed out abstain and fast from other things that would be a sacrifice for you. It’s all good. Don’t risk your health.

 

[asia53]

I don’t get it. How can you be anorexic if you used to be overweight? As in, how can you be afraid of having a bout of anorexia if in the past your condition wasn’t anorexia but was obesity? Unless you lost so much weight that you became anorexic.

The OP said this:

My wife thinks that it isn’t a good idea, because it could set me back on my road to recovery. I do not intend to use it as a way to “not eat” as I have never had that type of anorexia. I just get scared to gain weight and get fat again after I lost 160 lbs 5 years ago. I am getting help for the mental part, and I have beating the disorder by about 90%.

When people lose a major amount of weight, their fear of weight regain can lead some to anorexia.

 

[YoungTradCath]

No…he does not…we give ourselves dispensations from fasting. A priest would tell him that. You can as others have pointed out abstain and fast from other things that would be a sacrifice for you. It’s all good. Don’t risk your health.

That’s not quite correct. We can’t dispense ourselves from anything. Take mass obligation,s for example. If a woman just gave birth and doesn’t go to mass, we aren’t dispensing ourselves from mass. There is no obligation to begin with in such a case.

 

[Anna_Claire]

I am correct Young Trad…the basic rule of thumb is that the law of fast and abstinence should never impose a grave or unsupportable burden on an individual or family. We do not have to ask a priest to dispense us in these cases. We can make our own decision. Why did you bring up the Sunday obligation? That’s not at all what the discussion is about.

 

[Hopemercy]

The humility involved in giving up your will because of illness or weakness is a form of fasting in itself.

That is something that is taught very early on in religious life., when over-zealous novices are bidden rest, eat etc, when they yearn to fast and work!

And few priests etc will understand eg anorexia.

Each must take responsibility in this; the fact that the OP asked this question is its own answer.

NB the rules re fasting are not onerous or dangerous either. Someone said to me years ago that my own normal diet is what the Church calls fasting. It is enough for my needs.

The real danger for anyone prone to and fighting anorexia etc is in becoming overly preoccupied with food intake which is what is really happening here.

OP needs to take the whole idea of fasting right away from food thus; maybe do some voluntary work as an extra giving. ie giving up leisure.

 

[puppysocks]

I don’t get it. How can you be anorexic if you used to be overweight? As in, how can you be afraid of having a bout of anorexia if in the past your condition wasn’t anorexia but was obesity? Unless you lost so much weight that you became anorexic.

Most people with anorexia don’t start off unhealthily thin; it’s only once they’ve been suffering from the disease for a significant portion of time that their weight may drop to dangerous levels and they can be diagnosed with anorexia. You can only be formally diagnosed with anorexia once your body weight is 85% of what it’s supposed to be for your age/height, but in reality, the thoughts, feelings, starvation, and self-hatred can effect anyone of any weight even if their body weight does not drop to below 85% of what it should be. I will be honest and admit that I struggle with EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) and went through about a year of eating nothing more than a piece of toast a day, but because I was overweight to begin with the 45kgs (99lb) I lost was not enough to formally diagnose me with anorexia even though all the other symptoms were there. I do not mean to come off as aggressive or argumentative, I just wanted to share some knowledge as there is a lot of misinformation about eating disorders in the world and the more people know, the easier it is for parents and loved ones to spot the signs and get the individual help.

To the OP. I don’t quite understand your concerns, as you say you’ve never restricted your eating before, but then you talk about a disorder that you’re trying to beat? I can only assume that you’ve suffered from another type of eating disorder (bulimia, binge eating, EDNOS but I can’t really be sure without more details) but if this is the case, it is incredibly important to your recovery that you do not restrict. These habits are so very easy to fall back into and I’m sure neither you nor your wife want you to suffer like this. I would recommend that you speak to your priest, explain the situation, and get some spiritual guidance from him. I would most DEFINITELY get a second opinion from your doctor and/or therapist if you are seeing one.

 

[Mrdrbeckwith]

I don’t get it. How can you be anorexic if you used to be overweight? As in, how can you be afraid of having a bout of anorexia if in the past your condition wasn’t anorexia but was obesity? Unless you lost so much weight that you became anorexic.

See, this is why I hate bringing up my anorexia to anyone. You will always get the person who thinks that anorexia is a woman disorder, or a teenage disorder, or a “you have to be skinny to have it” disorder. Anorexia is a co-morbid disorder that can manifest itself in many different ways. You can refuse to eat, worry about eating too much, think you are fat when you aren’t, ect. My issue stemmed from losing 160 lbs in 7 months through eating only 500-800 calories a day and biking 45-50 miles every day. I started out at 380 lbs and now I am 210 lbs. I am also 6’5" and have a body fat of 17%. I know that I am not fat, and I know that I know how to lose weight the healthy way, but I eat something and I hate myself for eating certain things. I also equate foods to when I was fat. ( ice cream, pizza, fast food, eating out at restaurants) I have not had fast food in 6 years, and I only go out to eat if I am forced by my wife, which is maybe 2-3 times a year. Anorexia is the hardest disorder to fix, even more so than drug dependency, smoking, or alcohol abuse. As an outsider looking in, I understand that people don’t get why I " just can’t eat and not worry" or “just get over it”. I also get annoyed that people always think that I lost weight by doing a stupid diet (ie subway) or by a surgery. I lost weight, I did it because I needed to, I did it a way that wasn’t healthy, I am suffering my decisions and I turn to prayer and my councilor to help my get over the last hump.

As far the main topic, I talked to my priest after mass last night. He said that I shouldn’t fast, as I wasn’t planning on doing once I did more research. He said that fasting could mean from anything. I am going to try and eat more during lent as a way to heal myself. I am also going to set up time at night to turn off electronics and pray, read scriptures, and spend time with my wife. As for the abstinence, on ash wednesday and good friday, I am abstaining from the internet ( only at work for related business) and TV. I will not eat meat on Fridays, and pray more for help in my condition.

 

[puppysocks]

See, this is why I hate bringing up my anorexia to anyone. You will always get the person who thinks that anorexia is a woman disorder, or a teenage disorder, or a “you have to be skinny to have it” disorder.

I think a lot of people, even medical professionals, don’t seem to realise this fact. I completely understand the reluctance to bring up your anorexia as I have similar problems, and I’m sorry that you’re still struggling. I hope you manage to recover completely soon and lead a life free of this.

 

[rhiannonh]

If you never been anorexic then you won’t know the issues of concern.

If you never been depressed etc you cannot begin to understand how another may be feeling. But sometimes it can be a mistake to have own experiences because people do tend to try to relate through own understandings and think because it was/wasnt’ like that for them, then for another it be the same.

We all experience whatever we do in our own unique way. Just because a book says everyone feels… xyz. well in reality that is so untrue because we all have our little quirks on issues.