Lesbian pregnancy

[on_the_hill]

Oh-oh. Here’s one for ya!

A relative of mine, through marriage, is a lesbian and is “married” to her partner. Recently we got word that she is pregnant. No word on how it happened, but I assume a procedure was done in a doctor’s office with the help of a donor.

How to separate kindness and acceptance for the baby from being unhappy over the situation by which, and into which, he/she will have been born?

I can’t see this pregnancy as being anything other than an act of selfishness.

 

[Cruciferi]

A cousin of mine did the exact same thing. It is very selfish. The child will have a difficult childhood to be sure. A lot of kids born through IVF grow up disappointed and sad that they don’t have a father let alone know who he is. In my family’s situation I’ve never actually met my cousin’s child. That side of the family doesn’t associate with anyone who’s is Catholic

 

[1ke]

I guess it depends on how close this relative by marriage is and how much typical interaction you have. I mean, a cousin that lives across the country-- I wouldn’t even worry about it. A sister-in-law who lives next door-- harder to avoid.

I would think if you feel obligated to give a gift to the baby-- after it is born and directed to baby and not parent would not send a celebratory, parent-focused message. More like “For Baby” on the card and something practical or useful.

I would take the same approach as I would with an out of wedlock pregnancy-- which my husband and I recently had with a former confirmation student of ours who is 20, unwed, living at home, going to college, and when I saw her in Walmart… 8 months pregnant. DH and I got a gift for her, took it to her house, not a shower, and it was “for Baby”.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Every baby is a blessing and deserves to be celebrated. We should not shun a baby because it’s parent has sinned.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

Baby has no control over its own conception.
Celebrate this precious new life and be at peace.

 

[on_the_hill]

Every baby is a blessing and deserves to be celebrated. We should not shun a baby because it’s parent has sinned.

Baby has no control over its own conception.
Celebrate this precious new life and be at peace.

Of course. Holding the sins of the mother on the head of the child is not at all what I’d consider.

It’s someone who lives across the country, and we haven’t seen her for 15 years or so.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

TheLittleLady:

Every baby is a blessing and deserves to be celebrated. We should not shun a baby because it’s parent has sinned.

Baby has no control over its own conception.
Celebrate this precious new life and be at peace.

Of course. Holding the sins of the mother on the head of the child is not at all what I’d consider.

It’s someone who lives across the country, and we haven’t seen her for 15 years or so.

Probably safe to ignore it then.

Honestly, I know family is family, but if people stop putting forth effort to do the most cursory communications, it’s really time to let go.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I get where you’re coming from.
Is there a potential for giving scandal, will your love for the baby be misinterpreted as endorsement of the way they were conceived.
I guess you just take each encounter with them on a case by case basis

 

[Norseman82]

Oh-oh. Here’s one for ya!

A relative of mine, through marriage, is a lesbian and is “married” to her partner. Recently we got word that she is pregnant. No word on how it happened, but I assume a procedure was done in a doctor’s office with the help of a donor.

How to separate kindness and acceptance for the baby from being unhappy over the situation by which, and into which, he/she will have been born?

I can’t see this pregnancy as being anything other than an act of selfishness.

A cousin of mine did the exact same thing.

A cousin of mine did the exact same thing.

My cousin’s daughter also is in the same situation, except that it is her “partner” that got pregnant via the donor. The kicker: both teach at Catholic schools! At the baptism (from what I’ve been told, as I was one of those who did not get an invitation), none of my cousin’s family served as a godparent; the partner’s brother was godfather (I’m not convinced of his Catholicism based on his humor and speech) and his girlfriend was godmother(I hope they’re not living together). Based on the exclusion of my cousin’s family as godparents, I am having a hard time thinking of this baby as part of our family, but rather, the partner’s.

 

[F_Marturana]

If you haven’t seen her for 15 years, then just keep her in your prayers.

 

[1ke]

It’s someone who lives across the country, and we haven’t seen her for 15 years or so.

No reason to acknowledge.