Letter to potential candidates for religious life

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Sister_MM

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There has been some buzz about entrance requirements in various communities. Some have age restrictions; others do not. Most have health restrictions. Some even demand that applicants have no former ties to any other order, wanting a “fresh slate” in formation of their members.

Therefore, I thought it might be helpful to post a letter I recently sent in response to a woman who was asking for information about our community. It might serve as a springboard for others to ask questions, serve as encouragement to someone who has encountered obstacles, or help lead someone to the right community.

Dear N.,

Thank you for writing to the Franciscan Sisters of Mary. My name is Sister Mary Margaret, co-foundress of the community, and representative to the bishop on our behalf. With God’s help, I formulated our statutes. I would be happy to answer any questions you have.

Our spirituality is Franciscan and Marian. St. Francis had a special love for Our Lady, and deep devotion to the Blessed Sacrament and Christ Crucified, which we strive to emulate.

Health is not an obstacle to membership in our community - one simply needs to be self-supporting. Cost is the major health factor in most communities, with ability to participate in the apostolate and prayer life of the community coming in a distant second. In the middle ages, when cost was not associated with health because medical care was just not available to most people, good health was a “must” for those who aspired to undertake the rigorous penances associated with life in the cloister. That is just not the case today. Health care is available, expected, and costly. Active orders need healthy members in order to generate income for the survival of their order - not necessarily for the success of their apostolate - since most of them collaborate, if not rely heavily upon, the laity. Just taking Catholic schools as an example - in the 40’s it was unheard of to have a “lay teacher” in the Catholic schools, and paying out lay salaries would have been the end of many a Catholic school. Within 30 years, the tables had turned and now lay teachers comprise most - if not all - of the staff.

We do not have a cut off age. We interview each individual, and although we have had to turn away some applicants, the reasons have not included age - so far. The usual difficulties are either spiritual or financial.

Formation takes place in one of our homes, living with one or more sisters. Ideally, it takes place in our central house in the Peoria diocese. The two primary reasons are 1. The Blessed Sacrament is reserved there, and 2. There is some community life. Associates are welcome to participate in our prayer life from their own homes, but are not called Sisters nor do they wear the habit.

Like some of the newer (not to mention POOR communities being founded), we do not have a “motherhouse” nor do we see a need for a large building in the near future. We have small homes, the largest of which is in the Peoria diocese, and where we gather for our retreats. (We can double up in the rooms, and we had two on couches in the living room last time!) When we have too many members to accommodate, we can go to a retreat center.

How do you know if you are called to religious life? It is the same as being in love, I imagine. You just “know.” You can’t stop thinking about it. The thought of it brings a smile to your face and joy to your heart. God tugs away at your heartstrings. You visit with religious orders, and come away from the experience feeling an inner peace, so radiant that others notice. It is the same as being in love because it IS being in love. You are in love with Christ - in the Eucharist, in prayer, in service to others.

I hope this answers some of your questions - and please do not hesitate to ask if you have any others!

In Jesus and Mary,
Sister Mary Margaret

If you, or anyone you know is contemplating religious life, visit www.fsmcharism.net and tell us a little about yourself by answering some questions by clicking on the “Questions” tab.
 
How do you know if you are called to religious life? It is the same as being in love, I imagine. You just “know.” You can’t stop thinking about it. The thought of it brings a smile to your face and joy to your heart. God tugs away at your heartstrings. You visit with religious orders, and come away from the experience feeling an inner peace, so radiant that others notice. It is the same as being in love because it IS being in love. You are in love with Christ - in the Eucharist, in prayer, in service to others.
This part of the letter was very beautiful! In a world where so few people seem to comprehend vocations to the religious life anymore, these words really express the value of the calling. Thanks for posting. 👍
 
How do you know if you are called to religious life? It is the same as being in love, I imagine. You just “know.” You can’t stop thinking about it. The thought of it brings a smile to your face and joy to your heart. God tugs away at your heartstrings. You visit with religious orders, and come away from the experience feeling an inner peace, so radiant that others notice. It is the same as being in love because it IS being in love. You are in love with Christ - in the Eucharist, in prayer, in service to others.
The above is the best explanation I’ve ever heard about how God draws one to religious life. Reading it has helped me. I’ve had fears, interior difficulties and confusion, anxiety and things but when it comes down to it, somewhere deep down inside, I know - I know Jesus is saying, “Come away to Me.” I can’t give the reasons for it because what reasons could I give? I’m not worthy of such a call. I’m not able. It’s just Jesus, desire for Him and His desire for one to come in this certain way in love of Him.

Thank you for your very wise words. I’ll try to store them away in my heart and in my mind whenever my possible vocation seems impossible and ridiculous.

Pax Christi tecum.
 
To Sister, of the Franciscan Srs of Mary, Wow! From someone who is seriously discerning her call to religious life, and at a late age-- I’m 46, but feel and look younger-- you told it like it is. I am reading a beautiful book called " My All For Him", falling in total, complete LOVE for your groom to be. Not of this world, but for the one, we wish to be espoused to forevermore. Our Lord. He means the world to me, especially just staring at him in the Most Blessed Sacrament. He indeed is LOVE, MY TRUE LOVE. I await to enter a religious community, and be apart of everything I have been waiting for.:signofcross: 👋
 
Hello Sister MM (and all others contemplating religious life):

I just had to respond to this. WOW!!! As someone who has just (relatively speaking) returned from WYD 2008 in Sydney and am currently discerning a call to the religious life myself, it is SO heartening to hear religious life being spoken in that way of in that way. I will keep all of you in my prayers.
👍 :gopray2: :byzsoc: :nun1:

In Christ,
ChantalM
 
Thank you so much for this warm message. 😊 It does really help me. :rolleyes: I fell so much less… crazy and… lost!.. 🤷

Thanks, thanks for praying!.. Especially when people around you try to persuade you that you’re made for marriage and not any other call… 😦
 
Thank you so much for this warm message. 😊 It does really help me. :rolleyes: I fell so much less… crazy and… lost!.. 🤷

Thanks, thanks for praying!.. Especially when people around you try to persuade you that you’re made for marriage

and not any other call… 😦
How wonderful to have you on the forum Bebekoualy!

I do hope that you find it helpful to read and ask questions here. Also I do hope you find a priest or sister or Spiritual Director in your home city who might help you??? It helps so much to have someone who can be there for you and support you…[so that you don’t feel lost]… hugs blessings and prayers… and keep posting!*
 
How wonderful to have you on the forum Bebekoualy!

I do hope that you find it helpful to read and ask questions here. Also I do hope you find a priest or sister or Spiritual Director in your home city who might help you??? It helps so much to have someone who can be there for you and support you…[so that you don’t feel lost]… hugs blessings and prayers… and keep posting!*
Dear Poor Clare tobe,

It does help me to go there. It’s a real gift of God to have driven me to this blessed website where I can forget about French and write in English, but especially share very private and precious things with good people.
I have a Spiritual Director, whom I see once a month, and he’s also my confessor. But I’m going through hardships those days, within the darkness & I’ve to struggle, that’s why I come here so often. I’d also like to correspond with a Sister who would understand my desire (for the Orders) without saying “you’re too young” as it’s said all the time.
 
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