Letting Go of Anger and Being Able to Forgive

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BornInMarch said:
The advise I give might not be popular on this forum, but here it is anyway: you don’t have to forgive.
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No one was disrespecting you friend.

Your advice is totally wrong and against our loving Lord.

We all know how the mind works as I said a murder can love. A adulter can love.

A young child can love…

But forgiveness comes from a greater love.

Turn the other cheek.

That isn’t in everyone’s heart. So examine one’s own heart without always looking outwards to blame.

Sound advice I promise you.
 
I’m just explaining how the human mind actually works, and how to handle anger in a healthy manner. Modern psychology supports what I am saying, too. Telling people “you’re a bad person if you can’t bring yourself to forgive” is a form of victim-blaming; instead of doing that, tell the unforgiven person to repent for whatever they did

If you are waiting for another person to apology or admit their mistakes, you may have a long wait there…

We all have gifts given to us in life from the Lord. But with God all things are possible.

Thankfully Jesus knew how to forgive and showed us how to over come this world.

Anyone who cannot not forgive, has not over come this world. That is not bulling that’s my own opinion.
 
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Again, you’re just spouting saccharine platitudes with no substance to them. It’s fitting for Hallmark, but not for the difficulties of the world humans actually live in.

You’re disregarding what modern psychologists say about the human mind, which says that following your advise can cause severe mental problems down the road.

You are also ignoring the nuances of the Bible. God didn’t forgive pre-deluge humanity, or the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah, or the Canaanites, or the Amalekites. If you think the Old Testament “doesn’t count” (despite still being included in the Bible), God also didn’t forgive King Herod or the Sadducees, or Pontius Pilate.

You’ve really tried my patience, so I think I’m done talking to you here.
 
BornInMarch said:
You are also ignoring the nuances of the Bible. God didn’t forgive pre-deluge humanity, or the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah, or the Canaanites, or the Amalekites. If you think the Old Testament “doesn’t count” (despite still being included in the Bible), God also didn’t forgive King Herod or the Sadducees, or Pontius Pilate.

You’ve really tried my patience, so I think I’m done talking to you here.
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First and foremost God is Pure without Sin

All these names you have mentioned are not Pure of Heart.

Great example being : The lady to be stoned for adultery. As NO one was pure how could they judge her?

If I cannot forgive someone then how can I expect to be forgiven myself ? What sense is that.

Secondly religion is not about modern psychologists. It’s about blind faith and works.
 
englands123 said:
tell the unforgiven person to repent for whatever they did

If you are waiting for another person to apology or admit their mistakes, you may have a long wait there…
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What’s the difference? Are you saying ask for an apology instead of just waiting for one?
 
No I would do neither wait nor expect an apology, as I would try to remove myself from that situation and put my faith in God and forgive them.

I would rather consentrate of the ones who do love us in this world. Gifts given from God himself.
 
I think when we have to forgive something like this we just start with praying for the person using our will, even if we don’t feel like it. If we wait for our minds and our feelings to want to do it we’ll never forgive. According to the saints and the words of Jesus according to visionaries like St. Faustina everything is in the will.

In paragraph 1628 of Faustina’s Diary she says:

“During Holy Mass, I saw Jesus stretched out on the Cross, and He said to me, My pupil, have great love for those who cause you suffering. Do good to those who hate you. I answered, “O my Master, You see very well that I feel no love for them, and that troubles me.” Jesus answered, It is not always within your power to control your feelings. You will recognize that you have love if, after having experienced annoyance and contradiction, you do not lose your peace, but pray for those who have made you suffer and wish them well…"

So just pray for her and wish her well. Don’t worry about your feelings. Pray for her conversion and eventually the feelings towards her will mellow out. At least that has been my experience when having to forgive others for saying nasty things about me.
 
Praying the Rosary and asking Mary for a kind heart helps me.
 
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