Spehanie it sounds like there’s a lot of hurt in your relationships.
I don’t know what is the cause but it must be very painful and you must feel very betrayed to consideing ending long-term relationships, I’m really soory you are suffering.
Though I don’t know the casue, and you need to be able to flouris the best you can, if it’s okay, I’ll just say a couple of prayers on your behalf. Forgive me if my prayers are insensitive to your actual needs. Maybe all you can do if you need to protect yourself, is to pray for them as Jesus told us to love and pray for our enemies.
Forgiveness
Dear God, You do not merely suggest that we love and forgive each other. You command it. Yet sometimes it is difficult to love and forgive. I ask grace to pray for anyone who hurts loved ones or me through misunderstanding, frailty, or malice. I ask grace not to judge anyone for real or imagined injustice or injury.
You know all judgments that I have made in my life since infancy, even those so habitual that I hardly notice. They may contribute to unloving or mistrustful attitude, and thus prevent me from living a life of love, grace and joy.
Every time anyone hurts or angers me, let Your grace remind me to acknowledge my real feelingsThe matter may be trivial, but if ignored, my feelings may fester into resentment..
Grant me forgiveness that rejects negative feelings and leads to compassion and reconciliation. Heal my lack of love for myself, for any other, and for You. Let me view my flaws and others’ with humility and patience.
God, I forgive and bless anyone who hurts or neglects my loved ones or me. Restore and bless anyone I have offended or neglected. Give them grace to accept my repentance. Procure reconciliation where I am afraid to risk the other’s bitterness or rejection.
Holy Spirit please go to each person I have ever hurt, flooding him or her with God’s abundant gifts of love and healing. Allow us to experience Your love, and help us to accept Your will, Your timing and Your ways. I trust all relationships and situations into Your love. 2001