T
The_Bucket
Guest
Ok I’m not going to give the whole crazy backstory (though I’ll give more than enough) and let me first say that both my wife and I plan to speak with both a priest and a Catholic OBGYN, but here’s the deal…
After a premature birth to our son at 25 weeks (thank God he survived and is thriving)) my wife was told she shouldn’t get pregnant again for at least two years because she had an emergency c-section. Well OK, we knew that we really didn’t try too hard with NFP because it was the first couple of months of marriage when she got pregnant with little Ignatius, so we’d have to make sure all the "i"s were dotted and "t"s are crossed.
Soon after starting her cycles again (went five months without due to pumping) well, she’s pregnant again (with a daughter to be born in late May). We were shocked. Why? Because her cycle did something totally bizarre in terms of basal temp and CM. The temps went up for four days above the LTL and then DROPPED the next day, and by then it was “too late” as it were.
It shouldn’t have been overly surprising though. My wife has a bicornuate uterus and cycles that range from 33-50 days or even longer. It’s nearly impossible in those much longer cycles to really determine when ovulation is taking place.
Her OBGYN said she needs to do something to get her cycles in a somewhat regular pattern due to health concerns (she has anemia and a blood clotting disorder) AND she is endangering her own life and the life of a future unborn child if she gets pregnant in the next two years.
Herein lies the problem. Her OB, not Catholic but a religious Christian that respects Catholic teachings, wants to put her on therapy that will regulate her cycles to a certain extent. However, the only things they can give her will affect her fertility. Obviously what both my wife and I want is to abide by Church teachings while also doing something to get her cycles in order so we can practice NFP properly! So what are we to do? Obviously we will strain to find alternatives that do not affect fertility and also are not dangerous because of her clotting disorder, but I simply want to know what you folks think about this:
If she takes something that impairs fertility (but does not act as an abortifacient ) in order to regulate her cycle, is that a licit reason? Does the fact that she cannot get pregnant for two years without endangering her life and the life of a child make it more licit or does it actually undermine the argument here?
It’s a very confusing situation indeed and we both want to follow the Church’s guidelines. But I don’t know how to comprehend the idea of not having relations with my wife for two years since her condition makes NFP nearly impossible without medical intervention… which would also impact her fertility!
After a premature birth to our son at 25 weeks (thank God he survived and is thriving)) my wife was told she shouldn’t get pregnant again for at least two years because she had an emergency c-section. Well OK, we knew that we really didn’t try too hard with NFP because it was the first couple of months of marriage when she got pregnant with little Ignatius, so we’d have to make sure all the "i"s were dotted and "t"s are crossed.
Soon after starting her cycles again (went five months without due to pumping) well, she’s pregnant again (with a daughter to be born in late May). We were shocked. Why? Because her cycle did something totally bizarre in terms of basal temp and CM. The temps went up for four days above the LTL and then DROPPED the next day, and by then it was “too late” as it were.
It shouldn’t have been overly surprising though. My wife has a bicornuate uterus and cycles that range from 33-50 days or even longer. It’s nearly impossible in those much longer cycles to really determine when ovulation is taking place.
Her OBGYN said she needs to do something to get her cycles in a somewhat regular pattern due to health concerns (she has anemia and a blood clotting disorder) AND she is endangering her own life and the life of a future unborn child if she gets pregnant in the next two years.
Herein lies the problem. Her OB, not Catholic but a religious Christian that respects Catholic teachings, wants to put her on therapy that will regulate her cycles to a certain extent. However, the only things they can give her will affect her fertility. Obviously what both my wife and I want is to abide by Church teachings while also doing something to get her cycles in order so we can practice NFP properly! So what are we to do? Obviously we will strain to find alternatives that do not affect fertility and also are not dangerous because of her clotting disorder, but I simply want to know what you folks think about this:
If she takes something that impairs fertility (but does not act as an abortifacient ) in order to regulate her cycle, is that a licit reason? Does the fact that she cannot get pregnant for two years without endangering her life and the life of a child make it more licit or does it actually undermine the argument here?
It’s a very confusing situation indeed and we both want to follow the Church’s guidelines. But I don’t know how to comprehend the idea of not having relations with my wife for two years since her condition makes NFP nearly impossible without medical intervention… which would also impact her fertility!
that if you are taking birth control pills for a licit reason, it is still important to practice NFP and abstain during days of fertility.
What a difficult time that must have been for you both.
uch
raise God, he is doing so well, may he continue to grow stronger everyday.
But it does help to talk to lots of people and get lots of perspectives cause sometimes it can help us formulate the right questions to ask “the pros.”
I would have to travel about 5 hours each way to see an NFP only doctor.