Lieing

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My family is lying to my old, bedridden mother in law. we are telling her that her son is in a nursing home. In fact he passed away a few months ago. We are all afraid to tell her,since that was her most favorite son,and the news may just cause her demise or the loss of her wish to live. Not a day passes without her asking for him.
Are we committing a sin?
Yet nobody wants to be the one disclosing the sad truth to her .We are all afraid for her sake

How do you apply the Church’s rules here?
I can’t judge whether you are sinning or not, I don’t know you well enough. It’s a matter on which you should seek advice from your priest.

How do you apply the Church’s teaching? You apply it, in my humble opinion, by realising that the pain you are currently causing her, by letting her constantly ask for him and constantly wonder why he is not there, is probably as bad as any that would be caused by her knowing that he has passed. If she doesn’t remember that he is in a nursing home, then, sad but true, she may well not remember that he is gone even after you tell her so.

The news may cause her demise? To put it extremely bluntly, her demise is inevitable with or without. It will happen when and how God wills it. And if God wills that this news should contribute to it - then He just may see to it that she finds out some other way if not from you. And the knowledge that you have kept it from her all these months may contribute to the harm.

Find a trusted family friend - perhaps her priest or her doctor - and seek their advice as to how best to break the news to her. It may be that she will surprise you and use the suffering of knowing that he has passed away in a manner that brings great glory to God. Don’t deny her the opportunity.
 
I think you’re failing to see the distinction between withholding the truth and lying.
CCC2489 Charity and respect for the truth should dictate the response to every request for information or communication. The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, and the common good are sufficient reasons for being silent about what ought not be known or for making use of a discreet language. The duty to avoid scandal often commands strict discretion.
As to whether Jesus was lying, clearly that’s an absurd question. Check your translation; the Douay-Rheims says he was not going “yet”:
And the New American Bible, which is used at Mass, omits the first “yet”.
 
I can’t judge whether you are sinning or not, I don’t know you well enough. It’s a matter on which you should seek advice from your priest.

How do you apply the Church’s teaching? You apply it, in my humble opinion, by realising that the pain you are currently causing her, by letting her constantly ask for him and constantly wonder why he is not there, is probably as bad as any that would be caused by her knowing that he has passed. If she doesn’t remember that he is in a nursing home, then, sad but true, she may well not remember that he is gone even after you tell her so.

.
I may follow your advise and tell her, yet do not forget Lily that I am the daughter in law.
The blood relatives are afraid of telling her.
If I do against their best judgement,and if something bad were to happen they may be very upset with me for ever.
We could start letting her know in increments so that she gets used to the idea.Start by telling her that he is not doing well.That we must resign ourselves if things do not get better.that he is in the best hands and well taken care of.
And set a definite day to tell her he is finally gone.That though would involve a lot of untruths until we get to the real truth and maybe create a lot of anxiety.The other way is a shocking news.I will consult with my priest.
 
CCC2489 Charity and respect for the truth should dictate the response to every request for information or communication. The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, and the common good are sufficient reasons for being silent about what ought not be known or for making use of a discreet language. The duty to avoid scandal often commands strict discretion.

And the New American Bible, which is used at Mass, omits the first “yet”.
As I tried to explain earlier, the Catechism has not addressed the issue in question. We cannot say that “discreet language” is the same as deceptive language. Discreet language seems to mean simply using very vague wording or revealing only a partial truth which effectively conceals the truth which one intends to hide. It is certainly possible that one can answer the Nazi using vague words or a partial truth like say “There are no filthy Jews here,” in which one is not lying (they are good innocent Jews you’re hiding), yet at the same time you are not revealing the truth of their whereabouts. This would be an example of discreet language.

As for using deceptive language, the end does not justify the means, yet one can say that when having to make a split second decision to a simple yes or no question the circumstances might make it a mere venial sin rather than a mortal sin. One is not required to reveal to them any info, but on the other hand one also cannot intentionally deceive them. But, the intention of the Law is to further and protect the virtues of Justice and Charity. That is the end goal and according to the Catholic Encyclopedia and perhaps St. Thomas Aquinas, if one violates the law but does not prevent the end goal of the law then it cannot be said to be Mortal sin but merely venial sin. It is similar to lying to someone who asks you whether they look ugly, it is a venial sin because one is not preventing Justice or Charity. If one would want to avoid venial sin, then one need only master the art of “discreet language” to conceal a truth without expressing a falsehood to deceive.
 
Let’s not forget that the Council of Trent declared “Sacred and Canonical” the books of Sacred Scripture “as they are contained in the Old Latin Vulgate Edition” to be received as such (i.e., Sacred and Canonical) for one to avoid the penalty of the anathema…
But if any one receive not, as Sacred and Canonical, the said books entire with all their parts, as they have been used to be read in the Catholic Church, and as they are contained in the Old Latin Vulgate Edition; and knowingly and deliberately contemn the traditions aforesaid; let him be anathema.
So, if there’s some question of translation between the New American and the Douay-Rheims…the Old and Vulgate Edition of Latin Scriptures ought to be consulted…“as they have been used to be read in the Catholic Church.”

That is fine and good to quote the Catechism in reference to the use of discreet language, also, but…unless it is defined what discreet language is…we can’t very well put the information to much use.🙂 There also is no example given to allow one to come up with a definition based on the use of the words “discreet language.”

So, basically, it is one of the many examples of vague use of language in the Catechism of the Catholic Church which makes it impossible to know for certain what the author of the Catechism is trying to convey.

To use this article in the Catechism (#2489) to promote the belief that the Catechism allows lying in specific circumstances after a previous article says that lying, by its very nature, is to be condemned (showing explicitly the “intrinsic” evil of lying) and articles far preceding this section show that circumstance and intent can never make an intrinsically evil act permissible…is to promote a break in one’s first intellective principles (the specific first intellective principle being that belief that contradiction cannot exist). Breaking one’s first principles make it impossible to have the supernatural virtue of faith, since the grace must have nature upon which to build. If the first intellective principles are broken…the nature necessary as a foundation for the supernatural virtue of faith is simply not there.

Another article in the Catechism (#2508) shows direct contradiction in what is written in the Catechism itself. It directly contradicts the article which states that lying, by its very nature, is to be condemned. That, which by its very nature, is to be condemned (i.e., intrinsic evil) cannot then be defined by one’s intent. It is either an evil act in and of itself or it is a neutral act made evil by intent. It cannot be both at the same time… This is readily explainable, however, since the Catechism is not protected by the Holy Spirit from error. It was not promulgated as binding on the assent of faith, but only as binding on religious assent. It can…and does contain error, vague/ambiguous statements, etc.

It’s like the Second Vatican Council, it should be read and interpreted in light of infallible teaching. Where there is no infallible teaching to back up what is there, one binds one’s self to the teachings with religious submission of the intellect and will…unless there is a “good reason” not to do so; what one cannot understand, one cannot possibly bind one’s assent to…and one cannot understand what contradicts itself, history or higher authority, as well as what is undefined.

Here is a good review, also, of what the First Vatican Council infallibly teaches regarding contradiction:
  1. God cannot deny Himself, nor can truth ever be in opposition to truth. The appearance of this kind of specious contradiction is chiefly due to the fact that either the dogmas of faith are not understood and explained in accordance with the mind of the Church, or unsound views are mistaken for the conclusions of reason.
  1. Therefore we define that every assertion contrary to the truth of enlightened faith is totally false.
This simply states that God cannot speak in contradictions…so if we see contradiction presented as truth, we can know with certitude it is not from God. We can also know that if a teaching is asserted which claims to be from God, yet is a contradiction, that the claim is totally false…since it would be teaching contrarily to what is stated in the First Vatican Council, Ch. 4 On Faith and Reason #6 and #7.

There is also an interesting passage in Scripture (John ch. 8 v. 39-45) as food for thought:
Jesus saith to them: If you be the children of Abraham, do the works of Abraham. But now you seek to kill me, a man who have spoken the truth to you, which I have heard of God. This Abraham did not.
You do the works of your father. They said therefore to him: We are not born of fornication: we have one Father, even God. Jesus therefore said to them: If God were your Father, you would indeed love me. For from God I proceeded, and came; for I came not of myself, but he sent me: Why do you not know my speech? Because you cannot hear my word. You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and he stood not in the truth; because truth is not in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father thereof. But if I say the truth, you believe me not.
I find it an interesting passage…does it mean that lies belong to the devil? and that the devil is the father of liars (liars being those who tell lies)?

– Nicole
 
CCC2489 Charity and respect for the truth should dictate the response to every request for information or communication. The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, and the common good are sufficient reasons for being silent about what ought not be known or for making use of a discreet language. The duty to avoid scandal often commands strict discretion.
Exactly - “discreet language”. This is not the same as lying; otherwise, we would be told that it is acceptable to prevaricate.
And the New American Bible, which is used at Mass, omits the first “yet”.
But the Douay-Rheims is a direct translation of the Vulgate that is revered for its accuracy; that the NAB is “approved for liturgy” is completely unrelated to its reliability for academic study of Scripture.

Peace,
Dante
 
Actually, the difference in translation between the NAB and the Douay-Rheims simply has to do with the fact that they use different ancient manuscripts. The RSV 2nd CE explains that there are differences between ancient authorities in John 7:8. But, anyway, even if the word “yet” was not included, it does not follow that Jesus used deceptive language. He used discreet language by concealing the fact he was going on a different day during the feast. The feast lasted 8 days, the disciples went on the first couple of days which Jesus said he would not participate on “this feast day”, and Jesus went sometime within the last days of the feast in secret when his time had come according to the Divine plan.

By the way, the Church does not give greater authority on translation to the Vulgate than she does to other translations. She merely declares it to be free of heresy and to be the official liturgical translation in the Latin Rite. (Now the official translation is the Nova Vulgata, it was revised). The Church now recommends that translators refer to the original manuscripts and use the most accurate wording possible within the reader’s particular reading level. It can so happen that today scholars give more priority to older manuscripts that might not have the same words in some passages that the manuscripts that St. Jerome had access to at the time. Another example would be Genesis 3:15, St. Jerome used old Latin manuscripts that said “She shall bruise your head,” but the most ancient Hebrew manuscripts around today reads “He shall bruise your head.”
 
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