Life and death matter--please help with Church teaching!

[Veronica97]

My mom has stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to her bones and possibly her liver. She also has fluid around her lungs and heart. The cancer doctor has said that draining the fluid will not lengthen her life nor will it make her more comfortable. She has days to two weeks to live. She is in the hospital right now on iv pain meds and iv hydration. She can still swallow but hasn’t been eating much at all for the past 2-3 weeks. The nurse said today my mom could eat if she could get her awake. When my dad and I were talking to the cancer doctor, I was listening to him talk about the fluid and about how long she has to live. I didn’t think to ask him about artificial nutrition. Only when we were leaving did my dad and I ask a nurse about hydration b/c we are going to have to transport my mom to a hospice facility and the nurse said she didn’t know if they would have hydration there. That’s when she told me that she wasn’t able to get her to eat anything today b/c she couldn’t get her awake long enough due to the pain meds. I just nodded my head b/c I didn’t know what to do or say. When my dad got home, he called the hospice and they do have iv hydration, which I was happy about. But I am so worried now about what the Church teaches about artificial nutrition (feeding tube). If someone is dying of cancer, is a feeding tube extraordinary means or ordinary means? My mom has a living will and it states that she doesn’t want artifical nutrition or hydration, but my dad is the one who must make those decisions in the end. I want to advise my dad correctly and tonight I told him that I want to make sure Mom dies of cancer and not starvation or dehydration and he agreed. I’m hoping someone with experience with something like or with medical knowledge can help us to make the right decision.

 

[underacloud]

I’m very sorry to hear about you rmother. I pray she passes peacefully and into God’s care.

Hydration and nutrition are considered ordinary means.

But…

if a patient cannot or will not eat of drink, even with assistance, it is acceptable to let nature take its course. At this point treating the pain is important, but not the technicalities of how the patient actually dies, whether from the cancer or the effects of the cancer (making the patient unable to receive nutrition). Many patients, whether consciously or subconsciously, will stop taking nutrition anyway, once there is little point in fighting the innevitable. Do not trouble yourself with the morality of this, but if you have lingering concerns talk to a trusted priest.

 

[underacloud]

Veronica,

This article may help: uscatholic.org/life/2009/10/deathbed-confusion

Here is a directly relevant comment from Father Thomas Nairn, senior director of ethics for the Catholic Health Association of the United States:

“When the body begins shutting down, what I hear from physicians-including priest physicians-is that it doesn’t need nutrition and hydration, and not having that tends to dull the pain,” Nairn says. “By forcing foods and fluids it increases pain rather than helping the person. It gets back to burden and benefit. It can be an excessive burden.”

 

[petra22]

I hope you get answers to your questions. I just want to offer a few prayers for your mom and the family. My mom passed away last February…

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be world without end. Amen.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

My mom has stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to her bones and possibly her liver. She also has fluid around her lungs and heart. The cancer doctor has said that draining the fluid will not lengthen her life nor will it make her more comfortable. She has days to two weeks to live. She is in the hospital right now on iv pain meds and iv hydration. She can still swallow but hasn’t been eating much at all for the past 2-3 weeks. The nurse said today my mom could eat if she could get her awake. When my dad and I were talking to the cancer doctor, I was listening to him talk about the fluid and about how long she has to live. I didn’t think to ask him about artificial nutrition. Only when we were leaving did my dad and I ask a nurse about hydration b/c we are going to have to transport my mom to a hospice facility and the nurse said she didn’t know if they would have hydration there. That’s when she told me that she wasn’t able to get her to eat anything today b/c she couldn’t get her awake long enough due to the pain meds. I just nodded my head b/c I didn’t know what to do or say. When my dad got home, he called the hospice and they do have iv hydration, which I was happy about. But I am so worried now about what the Church teaches about artificial nutrition (feeding tube). If someone is dying of cancer, is a feeding tube extraordinary means or ordinary means? My mom has a living will and it states that she doesn’t want artifical nutrition or hydration, but my dad is the one who must make those decisions in the end. I want to advise my dad correctly and tonight I told him that I want to make sure Mom dies of cancer and not starvation or dehydration and he agreed. I’m hoping someone with experience with something like or with medical knowledge can help us to make the right decision.

In your Mon’s condition you should let nature take its course, It will only be a few days, why put her through that. My brother didn’t eat anything for several days, my Dad the same. Just keep her hydrated, that is all that you need do - and you wouldn’t need to force that on her either. If she can’t or won’t drink a few drops at a time, there is really no need to force her. It is a perfectly moral course to take in the final days. Let her rest, free of as much external intrusions as possible.

We will pray for her.

Oh yes, call the priest and tell your Mom he will be coming soon.
Linus2nd

 

[OraLabora]

I would speak to your priest as soon as possible if you’re in doubt and if necessary have the priest speak with the doctor. Has she received the anointing of the sick? If not when you speak to your priest about her condition and appropriate care, ask him to administer the anointing of the sick.

God bless and you are all in my prayers.

 

[Veronica97]

My mom is not Catholic. She was baptized in the Presbyterian church as an infant but hasn’t been to church in many years. Thankfully, some good friends of our family suggested to my dad that he have their pastor visit my mom and speak with her. My dad said he was going to ask the pastor to go with him to the hospital tomorrow.

 

[Cricket2]

I am sorry to hear that your mother is dying. When my grandmother was dying the only fluid she received was a little water on an oral sponge. Her pain medications were all liquid form and absorbed through the membranes of her mouth.

My grandmother, grandfather, and an aunt all let their end of life wishes be known and as their caregiver at that time I complied with those wishes. Providing fluids and nutriants at this time would be extraordinary care. Since your mother has let her desires be known this is what your father can do. I was reassured by my priest that allowing the dying process to proceed when it is known that the person cannot survive is not a problem. We are not committing a sin when we allow someone to die by discontinuing extraordinary types of care.

I will pray for your mother and your family at this time. I pray that you will find peace with and through each other as well as our Lord. I have assisted many people during the end of their life, and though it is hard to see one we love pass, there is also a deep spiritual experience that can occur. I pray that your mother can hear all of you speaking of God’s love for her during her last hours.

 

[JMatthewA]

I think you and your dad are right: she can’t be starved or dehydrated to make her die sooner. It would be a sin to do that.

Here is what the Catholic Church says about mercy killing and suicide to help you out. It’s from the Catechism of the Catholic Church which Pope John Paul II called a sure norm for teaching the faith:

"2276 Those whose lives are diminished or weakened deserve special respect. Sick or handicapped persons should be helped to lead lives as normal as possible.

2277 Whatever its motives and means, direct euthanasia consists in putting an end to the lives of handicapped, sick, or dying persons. It is morally unacceptable.

Thus an act or omission which, of itself or by intention, causes death in order to eliminate suffering constitutes a murder gravely contrary to the dignity of the human person and to the respect due to the living God, his Creator. The error of judgment into which one can fall in good faith does not change the nature of this murderous act, which must always be forbidden and excluded.

2278 Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of “over-zealous” treatment. Here one does not will to cause death; one’s inability to impede it is merely accepted. The decisions should be made by the patient if he is competent and able or, if not, by those legally entitled to act for the patient, whose reasonable will and legitimate interests must always be respected.

2279 Even if death is thought imminent, the ordinary care owed to a sick person cannot be legitimately interrupted. The use of painkillers to alleviate the sufferings of the dying, even at the risk of shortening their days, can be morally in conformity with human dignity if death is not willed as either an end or a means, but only foreseen and tolerated as inevitable Palliative care is a special form of disinterested charity. As such it should be encouraged.

2280 Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of.

2281 Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God.

2282 If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law.

Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.

2283 We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.

 

[judynurse]

As a former Hospice Nurse, I can tell you that while some families chose to continue hydration, most did not add nutrition once the dying person refused foods or oral liquids. Some continued IV hydration, but many did not. I alleviated thirst by use of an oral sponge or an eyedropper to give minimal hydration to prevent the drying of the mouth and throat tissues. Pain medications can now be given by oral liquid which is absorbed directly via the tissues of the mouth, such as “Roxanol”, which has the same effect as morphine. Hospice Doctors usually write such orders so that the medication can be given “as needed”, and as frequently as every 15 minutes up to a certain amount to alleviate pain. It is generally possible to discern how much is needed to prevent pain within a couple of hours, and that amount can then be given whenever necessary, and usually will last from 1 to 3 hours, sometimes longer. I’m glad you are moving her to a Hospice Unit, as they are very alert to symptoms of pain, which can be as subtle as the way they breathe or a frown, if they are unable to verbalize. I’m sure the Nurses there will keep her comfortable. If your Mother is not Catholic, whatever spiritual assistance you can provide, will be appreciated by her, even if she appears to be sleeping.

Be aware, that although appearing unconscious or asleep, dying persons are still able to HEAR, and often listen to those in the room with them. They can hear you saying you love them, are aware of prayers, and can also hear anything negative, so if you need to say something which you would not want her to hear, go outside her room and close the door to say it! They are very aware of their surroundings, even when they are not responsive to people speaking to them. I will say a prayer for you & your father and for a peaceful death for your Mother. I lost my mother some years ago, and lost my beloved husband to extensive cancer which was in his liver, stomach and lungs just 2 1/2 years ago. I made sure they had spiritual support, loving contact (holding hands and telling them they were loved) and were kept as pain free as possible. Modern methods of pain control for the terminally ill are very good and very effective. God be with you and your family.

By the way, Hospice Units DO follow the wishes of the patient expressed in a Living Will, and IV hydration, I believe, is not considered ordinary required care, and certainly a feeding tube is not. Minimal hydration as I stated above, is I believe, in accordance with the Catholic guidelines and is certainly in accordance with the Hospice guidelines.

 

[mab23]

my prayers go out to your family and your mothers soul

 

[Veronica97]

My other concern is that my mother is in such a stupor from the pain meds that she can’t speak or even take a drink of water. I am concerned that this could hasten her death. I feel like this is happening so fast. Just a week ago she could speak and had moderate pain. Now she is really hurting and cannot speak–just grunts and tries to move to get comfortable or is in a sleep stupor, with her mouth open. I hate the thought of my mom trapped in her body in the hospital, unable to tell us what she wants and needs. And I am horrified by stories on the internet about hospice being a place of slow euthanasia.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

This is all part of the process. The only way to make her more alert is to cut back on the meds. I know how you feel, I’ve been through it. Most of us have. Just pray and talk to her, she can probably hear you in a confused way. Has a priest been in yet. Time is prescious, don’t delay.

Linus2nd

 

[Bookcat]

Contact the “national Catholic Bio-ethics center in Philadelphia Pa and speak with an ethicist” regarding any moral issues. They are who CA sends people to.

 

[Veronica97]

Thank you to everyone who replied. My mother just passed away, very shortly after being transported from the hospital to hospice. We didn’t have to make the decision–God made it for us. I just kept praying to the Lord to help me do the right thing and for her not to go one minute before He calls her home. Please pray for her soul. I do not know if she made a decision for the Lord in her last moments or not. I don’t think the pastor had time to see her–she died so quickly, but I do know a very good friend of our family who is Christian prayed with her and felt she knew the Lord in her heart. I had intended to go to the Hospice facility tongiht and talk to her and pray with her. I had offered to pray with her two nights ago and she only said, “Privately”, meaning she wanted me to pray for her privately. I didn’t get a chance to tell her all the things I wanted to say.

 

[judynurse]

I am so sorry for your loss. I think the Lord took her at His appointed time, and prevented further suffering. I was told my husband would live 2 - 3 months, but he stayed only 7 days. The Lord knows when the time is right. I will pray for the Lord to comfort you.

Stories of Hospice being a place of euthanasia are false. Except in those states which have such laws and then only by request of the patient, not any family members. Hospice is dedicated to helping the terminally ill die with dignity and with as little pain as possible. They do not hasten death at all.

I will say a decade of the Rosary for you tonight, and the “Hail, Holy Queen” and Prayer for the Deceased for your mother. God bless and comfort you at this time.

 

[Cricket2]

I am sorry to hear of your mother’s passing, but also believe that the Lord took her home to Himself. He did decide so you would not have to. My experience with Hospice is that they are only there to make the dying person more comfortable and to control pain. In the three times I have worked with them to date they never did anything to hasten death. I hope for the same when my sister finally reaches that final stage herself.

God’s Peace to you and your family.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

Very sorry for your painful loss. We will keep Mom in our prayers.

Linus2nd