Life calling.

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marcaevans

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I would like to start by saying, for me, this is currently a sensitive area. I spent most of my early years as an atheist, I do not know why. My parents have always told me they left the decision up to me the decision of religion. In the last few years I started deeply believing there was a God. I spent time looking for a denomination, spent time going to different churches, every time I felt empty. There seemed to be a deep sense that I should try the Catholic Church but every time I got this feeling I sort of brushed it aside. I felt like being Catholic was not something I was going to enjoy.

At the start of Lent this year, the feeling strengthened. I decided to attend Mass for the first time after asking my parents what they thought about it. I attended and suddenly I felt complete. I did not understand why when I felt empty elsewhere. I still feel complete, I feel happy and enjoy attending Mass. Outside of Mass I am developing a steady prayer life and began reading about the faith, the Doctrine, Canon Law and the traditions of Mass.

This is where it becomes a sensitive area for me. I can feel something, very deep inside that is urging for something so much more. I keep brushing it aside and trying to ignore it. Any time I get close to the feeling and think about it, it sparks a sort of emotion throughout my body. If I am going to be honest a feeling as if I am about to start crying. I, at times, feel embarrassed about it. As I have said I try to ignore it, Im afraid to speak to anyone about it or question why the feeling is there. There has been nothing previously that has been so incredibly deep. I am worried about exploring it as I do not know what it will show.

Is this something I should be exploring, does anyone have any help about how to overcome this or should I just keep ignoring in the hope it will fade and go away.
 
It sounds beautiful, and something you should explore. I’d recommend talking to a priest about what you’re experiencing. How about the pastor at the church where you attend Mass? He’ll be best able to guide and help you understand what is happening…
 
Dear friend, I feel like this may be the light of Christ entering in to your inner darkness. You have opened the door to your heart by an inch, and the light from the outside has started to come in. As more and more light floods your soul, you will became more and more aware of the darkness that is present, and the general state of your soul which, without Christ God, is very sick. Eventually, I hope that you will learn where you can find medicine to heal this sickness. The medicine is God’s grace, and the hospital wherein it is administered is the Holy Church. I myself am a convert, and I can assure you that no matter how much we may study and learn about the Church and her teachings, whenever we make the step to commit ourselves to Christ and his Church and begin to receive the medicine of the Sacramenta, we become transformed.
 
I think that the Lord is speaking to you and that you should not just “brush it aside”. Find a spiritual director, start with your local priest in finding one near you. You are probably feeling God call you to your vocation, maybe that of His Priesthood or that of a Brother/Monk, or that of a Deacon. It sounds that He is speaking through your emotions. It is not bad to cry. There are times I want to cry during Mass because of the offering of the Eucharist and Christ’s Passion.

I would say that your definitely explore it but with a spiritual director to help direct you and help you through this time.

God Bless.
 
I would not try to overcome or ignore this. If the Lord is calling you to do something, he will keep asking. As others have suggested, it would be good to talk to a priest or spiritual director about what you are experiencing.

Tears are a very normal response to an encounter with the Lord. You should not be embarrassed by that. This happens because HE is showing you how much he loves you. St. Teresa of Avila and other mystics have said that sometimes the love he shows us spills over into our bodies. This is why the tears come, and it can be quite overwhelming. Do not be afraid.

You will find as this progresses that at other times you can’t feel the Lord at all. That is OK too as it strengthens your faith. And then he comes back again.

Our Lord loves you so much.
 
Sorry to open this thread back up but I am honestly starting to feel scared. I try to relax and take my mind off things but my mind drifts back to thinking about the priesthood. Its happening more and more frequently, I get a deep feeling of what many people describe as love (The traditional sense of love between Man & Woman). Ive never experienced love. I have palpitations, I can actually feel my heart beating fast when I think about it and sort of a butterfly feeling in my stomach.

Even when I am not feeling like going, I find myself attending Mass because there is a sense that is where I should be. I spend a lot of time googling am I being called and how did you know you should be a priest.

I have been attending Mass for about a month, these were my first steps in the Catholic Church. I watched the BBC documentary about Catholics last year and can remember feeling something but brushed it aside. My mother is keen for me not to rush into becoming Catholic, she actually wants me to attend Mass for a year before looking at confirmation.

I know she wants grandchildren, if God is actually calling me I would not know how to tell my parents. They have been very supportive in the past but I felt pushed into Nursing. I do not believe they would be supportive if I told them I was considering the priesthood.

I am scared to talk to my priest too, he seems very supportive but it feels like a massive thing. The strange thing is I found a video by Cardinal Collins of Toronto where he was talking about telling his parents he wanted to be a priest and he described people thinking about being a priest having a protective shell not wanting anyone to know. This is the feeling I am having.

The more I ignore this deep sensation within me, it goes away but it comes back stronger each time and takes more time to brush it aside again. I know previous posters have recommended not ignoring it but I do not know what else to do.
 
Sorry to open this thread back up but I am honestly starting to feel scared. I try to relax and take my mind off things but my mind drifts back to thinking about the priesthood. Its happening more and more frequently, I get a deep feeling of what many people describe as love (The traditional sense of love between Man & Woman). Ive never experienced love. I have palpitations, I can actually feel my heart beating fast when I think about it and sort of a butterfly feeling in my stomach.

Even when I am not feeling like going, I find myself attending Mass because there is a sense that is where I should be. I spend a lot of time googling am I being called and how did you know you should be a priest.

I have been attending Mass for about a month, these were my first steps in the Catholic Church. I watched the BBC documentary about Catholics last year and can remember feeling something but brushed it aside. My mother is keen for me not to rush into becoming Catholic, she actually wants me to attend Mass for a year before looking at confirmation.

I know she wants grandchildren, if God is actually calling me I would not know how to tell my parents. They have been very supportive in the past but I felt pushed into Nursing. I do not believe they would be supportive if I told them I was considering the priesthood.

I am scared to talk to my priest too, he seems very supportive but it feels like a massive thing. The strange thing is I found a video by Cardinal Collins of Toronto where he was talking about telling his parents he wanted to be a priest and he described people thinking about being a priest having a protective shell not wanting anyone to know. This is the feeling I am having.

The more I ignore this deep sensation within me, it goes away but it comes back stronger each time and takes more time to brush it aside again. I know previous posters have recommended not ignoring it but I do not know what else to do.
I know how you feel when it comes to addressing your parent about it. My mom was so disappointed when I told her that I was discerning the religious life, as a nun/sister, because she wants grandchildren.

It is becoming stronger of a call because God is trying to get your attention and besides that, we are really in dire need of priests.

Please try to find a priest or a spiritual director to confide in and help you as you become a Catholic and in discovering the Path God is calling you to.

God Bless
 
Hello marcaevans !

What you described sounds like what St John of the Cross expresses in his
Spiritual Canticle.

Here’s a part of it, with the link, should you want to read more. St. John provides commentary on the poem. Perhaps you can relate to it.

Keep in mind that the “Bride,” is the soul of the individual. The Bridegroom is Jesus
  1. Where have you hidden,
    Beloved, and left me moaning?
    You fled like the stag
    after wounding me;
    I went out calling you, but you were gone.
  1. Shepherds, you who go
    up through the sheepfolds to the hill,
    if by chance you see
    him I love most,
    tell him I am sick, I suffer, and I die.
  1. Seeking my Love
    I will head for the mountains and for watersides,
    I will not gather flowers,
    nor fear wild beasts;
    I will go beyond strong men and frontiers.
God Bless
Jim
 
Discernment is a long process that will require spiritual guidance from your pastor and other leaders. No one will push you into making a decision. They will be there to help you listen to your own heart, and what you believe God is calling you to do. Please do speak with the pastor, he will be happy to help you.

Praying for you,
Suz
 
Take things one step at a time. Your mind is running too fast. You won’t be confirmed, or even ordained, tomorrow!

Right now, take the steps to determine if you want to join the church. Normally this is RCIA. Most programs will run around a year (so you’d meet your mom’s requirements anyway). You can speak to your pastor about the priesthood, but it too is a long process of dicernment- they don’t want those who are not called to be there and miserable, either :). They may not even want you actively discerning until after you have joined the church (confirmation).

Right now, take a deep breath, and look into RCIA.
 
Take things one step at a time. Your mind is running too fast. You won’t be confirmed, or even ordained, tomorrow!

Right now, take the steps to determine if you want to join the church. Normally this is RCIA. Most programs will run around a year (so you’d meet your mom’s requirements anyway). You can speak to your pastor about the priesthood, but it too is a long process of dicernment- they don’t want those who are not called to be there and miserable, either :). They may not even want you actively discerning until after you have joined the church (confirmation).

Right now, take a deep breath, and look into RCIA.
Exactly!
 
I understand your feelings of love…that happens to me too… You do not need to be scared about it. For now, I would encourage you to just relax and enjoy the consolations the Lord is giving you. You will find there are times that it seems as if he has disappeared and you will long for him to come back…and then he will after a time.

There is no need to rush on any of this. I agree with the other posters who are recommending you take it all one step at a time and simply focus on confirmation for now. You are overwhelmed with love at this time. Your feelings of being drawn to the priesthood may change once everything settles down.
 
Sorry to open this thread back up but I am honestly starting to feel scared. I try to relax and take my mind off things but my mind drifts back to thinking about the priesthood. Its happening more and more frequently, I get a deep feeling of what many people describe as love (The traditional sense of love between Man & Woman). Ive never experienced love. I have palpitations, I can actually feel my heart beating fast when I think about it and sort of a butterfly feeling in my stomach.

Even when I am not feeling like going, I find myself attending Mass because there is a sense that is where I should be. I spend a lot of time googling am I being called and how did you know you should be a priest.

I have been attending Mass for about a month, these were my first steps in the Catholic Church. I watched the BBC documentary about Catholics last year and can remember feeling something but brushed it aside. My mother is keen for me not to rush into becoming Catholic, she actually wants me to attend Mass for a year before looking at confirmation.

I know she wants grandchildren, if God is actually calling me I would not know how to tell my parents. They have been very supportive in the past but I felt pushed into Nursing. I do not believe they would be supportive if I told them I was considering the priesthood.

I am scared to talk to my priest too, he seems very supportive but it feels like a massive thing. The strange thing is I found a video by Cardinal Collins of Toronto where he was talking about telling his parents he wanted to be a priest and he described people thinking about being a priest having a protective shell not wanting anyone to know. This is the feeling I am having.

The more I ignore this deep sensation within me, it goes away but it comes back stronger each time and takes more time to brush it aside again. I know previous posters have recommended not ignoring it but I do not know what else to do.
You might find this article on spiritual consolations helpful:

rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/2013/03/18/what-is-spiritual-consolation

But do take a deep breath and talk to a priest about what you’re experiencing so he can help you discern. This is important, and there’s no reason to go it alone. 🙂
 
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