Life from PreMarital Sex

  • Thread starter Thread starter corrgc
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
C

corrgc

Guest
Greetings fellow Christians!

I am seeking help with this confusing scenario.

Sex before Marriage is immoral and offensive to God. When you come to realize this as truth, you will be remorseful, repentant and seek forgiveness from God. As fruit of your repentance you should proclaim that all pre-marital sex is immoral and offensive to God to those following in your footsteps. But what if your premarital affairs created life? And that life, that gift from God, remains your only child.

How can one reconcile the regret and remorse of a sin that brought a gift from God?

Is it accurate to say that one regrets their sin even though without that sin, they would not have their only child?

If God is not a proponent of evil, then why would he allow an immoral act to produce Good - a child?

In conclusion - Is it ok to NOT be remorseful of the sin that produced the Child, because it was God’s will to bring that life into the world in that fashion?

Thank you for your assistance with my rambling thoughts!

Sincerely in Christ,

Corrgc
 
The sexual act that creates babies is not a sin. Sex itself is the gift from God, as well as any babies that are born of this act. The sin is the misuse of the act.

The regret we might feel is related to the context of the act. If a child was born of a relationship between unmarried people then regret would be appropriate. You are sorry that you chose to use the gift of sexual intimacy with someone to whom you were not married.

It is certainly an issue that should be discussed more often because a parent will be faced, at some point, with explaining to a child how their existence came to be. It is very difficult to fully convey that a baby is created from the love of the parents if the couple is unwilling to make the commitment to marry.

We can, however, use such situations to illustrate what our children should NOT do as they enter into young adulthood. We can also explain that the child was loved and wanted so much that he/she was brought into this world even in the face of adversity.
 
You confuse God’s Divine Will with his permissive will.

God never wills us to commit sin. Fornication is always a sin. Those who choose to engage in premarital sex can experience the natural, biological consequences of that act. You cannot conclude it was God’s will to bring a child into a situation outside the bonds of marriage.

However, in the parents choice and resulting consequence, God does not withhold his love from the child, because the child is innocent. The parents committed the sin.
 
Yes, children are always a blessing, but it does not mean the way they came about is a blessing or a good thing.
 
blessedtoo said:
The regret we might feel is related to the context of the act. If a child was born of a relationship between unmarried people then regret would be appropriate. You are sorry that you chose to use the gift of sexual intimacy with someone to whom you were not married.
Click to expand...
40.png
1ke:
You cannot conclude it was God’s will to bring a child into a situation outside the bonds of marriage
Click to expand...
40.png
JFonseka:
Yes, children are always a blessing, but it does not mean the way they came about is a blessing or a good thing.
Click to expand...
Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate your help in trying to get a handle on this delicate situation.

From your responses, I understand that:
  1. The Child from the pre-marital affair IS a gift from God.
  2. Our Lord did not will that Child to be Born, but permitted the birth of the child through the natural conclusion of his parent’s sinful fornication.
  3. True repentance would include remorse and regret of one’s fornication before marriage.
If you are remorseful and you understand that your fornication was against the will of God, you will repent of your sin. After repentance you now preach against pre-marital sex to your children, teaching them you regret your sinful action.

But if you regret the sin, does that mean that you would not repeat it if given the chance? If you could re-live the situation (knowing what you know now) you would not engage in fornication, and thus NOT bring to life - your only child?

How do you explain that to your only child, when they ask you - If you regret your decision to have pre-marital sex? (The assumption here is that the parents did not marry)

Thanks again for your opinions!

Sincerely in Christ,
Corrgc
 
corrgc said:
Greetings fellow Christians!

I am seeking help with this confusing scenario.

Sex before Marriage is immoral and offensive to God. When you come to realize this as truth, you will be remorseful, repentant and seek forgiveness from God. As fruit of your repentance you should proclaim that all pre-marital sex is immoral and offensive to God to those following in your footsteps. But what if your premarital affairs created life? And that life, that gift from God, remains your only child.

How can one reconcile the regret and remorse of a sin that brought a gift from God?

Is it accurate to say that one regrets their sin even though without that sin, they would not have their only child?

If God is not a proponent of evil, then why would he allow an immoral act to produce Good - a child?

In conclusion - Is it ok to NOT be remorseful of the sin that produced the Child, because it was God’s will to bring that life into the world in that fashion?

Thank you for your assistance with my rambling thoughts!

Sincerely in Christ,

Corrgc
Click to expand...
God has a plan, a beautiful plan: one man, one woman, becoming one body and out of that union a child. This child was to be raised in a loving home with two loving parents with Christ as the center, head and focus of the home.
However, we all know that having sex can produce children.
Sometimes God may use severe mercy to stop a person in their tracks and allow them to see the tender loving side of God the Father.
What better way than through a child. It is God’s goodness that leads us to repentance. Gods’ laws, if kept will give us peace and joy.
Maybe your child was to allow you to see the tenderness of a loving Father even though you broke his law.
 
How do you explain that to your only child, when they ask you - If you regret your decision to have pre-marital sex? (The assumption here is that the parents did not marry)
Click to expand...
This really speaks to the heart of the issue of the permissiveness in our culture which tries to convince us that a child doesn’t suffer when the parents are not married.

Children understand that they come into existence because their parents loved eachother and wanted to bring a baby into the world. It is the primary reason that divorce is so crushing for kids, because they begin to question the value of their own existence once they realize that mom and dad no longer love eachother.

You can tell a child that mom and dad (who were not married) did love eachother at one time, but that is not going to erase the pain a child will feel once he realizes that the love which created him no longer exists.

You can tell the child that mom loves him, even if dad does not, but that will not fill the hole in his heart or the yearning he will always feel for the love of both parents.

This is the consequence of engaging in pre-marital sex and it is ALWAYS the child who will suffer. The adults will experience pain and heartbreak, but they are ultimately better equipped to handle such emotions than are the children of such unions. This scenario you’ve presented only strengthens the case for strong, Christian marriages that are focused on God, spousal fidelity and love, and children.
 
corrgc said:
Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate your help in trying to get a handle on this delicate situation.

From your responses, I understand that:
  1. The Child from the pre-marital affair IS a gift from God.
  2. Our Lord did not will that Child to be Born, but permitted the birth of the child through the natural conclusion of his parent’s sinful fornication.
  3. True repentance would include remorse and regret of one’s fornication before marriage.
If you are remorseful and you understand that your fornication was against the will of God, you will repent of your sin. After repentance you now preach against pre-marital sex to your children, teaching them you regret your sinful action.

But if you regret the sin, does that mean that you would not repeat it if given the chance? If you could re-live the situation (knowing what you know now) you would not engage in fornication, and thus NOT bring to life - your only child?

How do you explain that to your only child, when they ask you - If you regret your decision to have pre-marital sex? (The assumption here is that the parents did not marry)

Thanks again for your opinions!

Sincerely in Christ,
Corrgc
Click to expand...
i would explain to my child, that the reason i regret this sin of fornication is because of the hardship it has caused in the life of me and (the child) not to mention the heartache the sin caused God. God loves the child, and loves the sinner, but hates the sin.
there are consequences to all our sins. premarital sex has some devastating effects on the children it produces. most of these children are forced to live an unstable life, without two married parents, and suffer the psychological/emotion problems common to many children raised in a single parent household. i wont even get into the “daddy issues” most people have because of abset or “loser” biological fathers.
so in this instance, regret the circumstances that you have put your child in, but never regret the child.
 
There is so much good in human sexuality that even in its abuse, so much good remains that it can be difficult to imagine why we could ever think of sexual activity as in any way wrong.

Human sexuality is, objectively taken in itself, among the greatest goods we receive from God. The fruit of that sexuality – our children – is always good, even when we make bad mistakes in how we use the gift.

I believe the inherent goodness of our sexual feelings is the main reason that people have so much trouble understanding WHY sexual relationships outside marriage are problematic.
 
corrgc said:
Greetings fellow Christians!

I am seeking help with this confusing scenario.

Sex before Marriage is immoral and offensive to God. When you come to realize this as truth, you will be remorseful, repentant and seek forgiveness from God. As fruit of your repentance you should proclaim that all pre-marital sex is immoral and offensive to God to those following in your footsteps. But what if your premarital affairs created life? And that life, that gift from God, remains your only child.

How can one reconcile the regret and remorse of a sin that brought a gift from God?

Is it accurate to say that one regrets their sin even though without that sin, they would not have their only child?

If God is not a proponent of evil, then why would he allow an immoral act to produce Good - a child?

In conclusion - Is it ok to NOT be remorseful of the sin that produced the Child, because it was God’s will to bring that life into the world in that fashion?

Thank you for your assistance with my rambling thoughts!

Sincerely in Christ,

Corrgc
Click to expand...
God often brings good out of evil. Repent of your evil deed, but thank God for the good He brought out of it :).
 
Genesis315 said:
God often brings good out of evil. Repent of your evil deed, but thank God for the good He brought out of it :).
Click to expand...
They killed Jesus Christ. That’s the epitomy of evil. They murdered God.

But it brought about the greatest good ever. The conquering of death and the salvation of humanity.

Just a thought. Dan
 
mpb74 said:
They killed Jesus Christ. That’s the epitomy of evil. They murdered God.

But it brought about the greatest good ever. The conquering of death and the salvation of humanity.

Just a thought. Dan
Click to expand...
Beautiful post. 🙂
 
corrgc said:
Greetings fellow Christians!

I am seeking help with this confusing scenario.

Sex before Marriage is immoral and offensive to God. When you come to realize this as truth, you will be remorseful, repentant and seek forgiveness from God. As fruit of your repentance you should proclaim that all pre-marital sex is immoral and offensive to God to those following in your footsteps. But what if your premarital affairs created life? And that life, that gift from God, remains your only child.

How can one reconcile the regret and remorse of a sin that brought a gift from God?

Is it accurate to say that one regrets their sin even though without that sin, they would not have their only child?

If God is not a proponent of evil, then why would he allow an immoral act to produce Good - a child?

In conclusion - Is it ok to NOT be remorseful of the sin that produced the Child, because it was God’s will to bring that life into the world in that fashion?

Thank you for your assistance with my rambling thoughts!

Sincerely in Christ,

Corrgc
Click to expand...
The priest in Graham Greene’s The Power and the Glory had this problem (he had committed fornication once and had conceived a child).

However, I don’t see this as a real problem. St. Thomas says that God allows evil to happen because He brings good out of it. That is hard to understand when it comes to something horrific like the Holocaust. But I think the example you raise is a pretty good one for St. Thomas’s point.

Edwin
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top