Life in Gay New York

[TrueLight]

TrueLight, if this is the worst thing you’ve experienced in New York City, then consider yourself fortunate. Anyhow, as a veteran subway rider, I can tell you that when riding the subway, the law is you MUST either be reading a book or newspaper, listening to music with your earphones attached, or tweeting. At the same time, ALWAYS watch out for pickpockets and terrorists but NEVER look at other people in the subway car for more than two seconds.

Ha ha. No I’ve experienced worst, but I really do feel that there was some restraint let’s say 5 years ago.

 

[TrueLight]

Smile when you detect a look of defiance. Say a prayer for any stranger you see who is engaged in immoral behavior. Look away when you see a couple engaged in over the top public displays of affection, no matter if it’s a gay or straight couple. If they’re strangers to you, I highly doubt an encounter in the spirit of fraternal correction or spreading the Gospel would be in any way productive.

Unless we work for Catholic organizations, like a parish or a Catholic charity, in many moments in our everyday lives we’re the only face of practicing Catholicism others encounter. I have to constantly, constantly remind myself of this. My words and my actions represent the Faith in my secular, public life, and I frequently stop and ask myself, “Luna, would someone want to be Catholic after what you just did or what you just said?”

Also keep in mind that - as distasteful as it is - people don’t engage in PDAs to make you uncomfortable. My personal theory is they do it because they’re insecure about the relationship they’re in.

Luna

Great advice!

 

[Brooklyn]

I havereadall of these comments because I am a native San Franciscan – you wouldn’t believe the conduct of some of the gays. Several years ago on a Sunday I went to downtown San Francisco – it definitely wasn’t the day of the Gay Pride Parade – I would have had enough sense not to attend that – BUT the street car was loaded with gays and they were all over one another – kisssing, hugging – you name it. In spite of the fact that there scores of gays in SF I was totally aghast at the behavior. This isn’t correct for anyone – straight or gay – I do believe this kind of behavior should be private!!!

San Francisco makes NYC look tame. I don’t think it’s because we’re so much better. As I said, we just have to battle so many people to get where we’re going, there just isn’t much time for grandstanding.

 

[the_phoenix]

I’d actually prefer to be in the Badlands myself, just because it is so beautiful. But in defense of my city, there are literally millions of people who ride the subway every day, and the vast, vast majority are very good people and even though it may not seem like it, most of us look out for each other. A couple of months ago I got off a train and had unknowingly left my bag on the train. The guy I was sitting next to actually got up and ran out of the train to give it to me. The problem is, you can never be sure who the bad guys are or when they will show up, so you always have to keep your guard up.

Good to hear about the humanity in NYC.

As for eye contact, if a rattlesnake makes eye contact with you, say your prayers …


I only actually saw one slithering through the grass at a rest stop along the prairie, and quickly learned never to walk on the grass in South Dakota unless it’s a well-manicured lawn pumped with chemicals and with the grass short enough such that it’s cut to within an inch of its life.

So every place has its advantages and disadvantages, it’s just a matter of choosing the set that most appeals to you.

ALL:

Anyways, so as not to divert the thread topic overly much, I also really like Luna Lovecraft’s advice.

…

 

[Brooklyn]

Everything, you just don’t do it.

New York City or Fahrenheit 451?

It’s not like they’ve framed people to meet quotas, brutalized protesters/journalist or done extreme racial profiling…

Oh yea - nothing like they just trample all over our constitutional rights and take away any privacy we may have. :sad_yes:

 

[1inICXC]

I left North America 3 years ago and haven’t seen any homosexual action since. Praised be God!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

As a non-New Yorker, what is the problem with eye contact?

When trapped in a small space packed with people, staring at others is considered an invasion of personal space, which is at a premium in such an environment. You can look over people’s heads, look “through” them with a blank expression, focus on the sides of the car, read a book or newspaper, or shut your eyes, or wear dark sunglasses and stare away. But when you are jammed up against a person in a crowded subway car, you try not to make eye contact at all.

Also do not catch people’s eyes and smile at them, or have any expression on your face at all if possible. Most people do not hold conversations, just sit and ride the train/subway. Again, too many others are there listening to your conversation.

However, quickly scan your environment as you get in the car, and glance at people getting on, to evaluate your safety. If any person raises a radar, my advice is to get off the train at the next stop, even if it is inconvenient to do so, UNLESS it’s at night and you are alone.

Just follow what everyone else is doing, it’s not hard to catch on. The rules for riding subways are pretty darn clear. Mind the gap!

 

[Allegra]

Yeah, PDA’s have a way of making everyone uncomfortable, however, I’m happy to admit that homosexual PDA’s are more disturbing to me, personally, especially if you are out with kids. This story reminds me of when my sister and I got on a farris wheel and gave my camera to my brother-in-law to take a picture of us. Everytime we came around the front, my brother in law would hold up the camera, then get a really annoyed scowl on his face. By the time the ride was over, he was just standing there with his arms crossed and glaring at the ground. I said, “Geez, Kate, what’s with your husband? Why’s he so cranky over a picture?” She said she didn’t know. We get off the ride and go up to him and I ask him what’s wrong and why he didn’t just take the picture. He told us there were two guys making out in the car behind us and he didn’t think it would make for such a great backdrop.

 

[ack]

When trapped in a small space packed with people, staring at others is considered an invasion of personal space, which is at a premium in such an environment. You can look over people’s heads, look “through” them with a blank expression, focus on the sides of the car, read a book or newspaper, or shut your eyes, or wear dark sunglasses and stare away. But when you are jammed up against a person in a crowded subway car, you try not to make eye contact at all.

Also do not catch people’s eyes and smile at them, or have any expression on your face at all if possible. Most people do not hold conversations, just sit and ride the train/subway. Again, too many others are there listening to your conversation.

This.

Also, inadvertently making eye contact with a homeless/mentally ill person will often cause him (and it’s almost always a “him”) to come over and chat with you (coherentaly or not) until you get off the train. Same with angry people looking for someone to fight.

This really isn’t just an NYC thing, though. The NYC subway is relatively safe, and I’ve had worse experiences on public transit in other cities (Cleveland, Chicago, Philadelphia).

 

[Havard]

Also keep in mind that - as distasteful as it is - people don’t engage in PDAs to make you uncomfortable. My personal theory is they do it because they’re insecure about the relationship they’re in.

I definitely agree that is a factor.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

How many of you have experienced anything like this in your face homosexuality?

I have somewhat but I’m not sure I’d be better or worse than you. If I were in your shoes, seeing gays like that makes me mentally gag like a 9-year-old brat. It’s actually that easy for me to shun and ignore.

On the other hand, if it’s two lesbians, I’d high-tail past them asap before my mind starts thinking like a stupid, hormonal, high-school kid who needs to get shot.

Ultimately though, some guys would do a lot worse. Their minds would go like: sees gays “Aww God, my eyes! Gotta think something hot! Something straight!” sees lesbians later “Oh wait, nvm. >B)”

Seeing myself think like that though makes me wanna blow my own brains out. >_<;;

TrueLight, if this is the worst thing you’ve experienced in New York City, then consider yourself fortunate. Anyhow, as a veteran subway rider, I can tell you that when riding the subway, the law is you MUST either be reading a book or newspaper, listening to music with your earphones attached, or tweeting. At the same time, ALWAYS watch out for pickpockets and terrorists but NEVER look at other people in the subway car for more than two seconds.

writes this down in his little Guidebook For The Future World Traveler

 

[Buck_Crosswhite]

I would have pointed and laughed at the Nancy boys.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

I would have pointed and laughed at the Nancy boys.

On the NYC subways that sounds like an excellent way to die. It is also highly impolite and unCatholic.

 

[CesarAugustus]

Where I live, heterosexual PDA’s and immodest clothing (specially the later) are some of the things that populate the streets and public places. Homosexuals over here aren’t so bold.

Blessings!

 

[TrueLight]

June is Pride Month.

Please help me understand why there is a pre-Pride mass at this Church?

Couched in the language of inclusion and love for all is a very explicit statement that homosexuality is okay and we are not speaking here of SSA. I mean a homosexual lifefstyle!

 

[katy]

It looks like another sad sign of the times and the rebellion of some members of Holy Church.

 

[Crescentinus]

I have somewhat but I’m not sure I’d be better or worse than you. If I were in your shoes, seeing gays like that makes me mentally gag like a 9-year-old brat. It’s actually that easy for me to shun and ignore.

On the other hand, if it’s two lesbians, I’d high-tail past them asap before my mind starts thinking like a stupid, hormonal, high-school kid who needs to get shot.

Ultimately though, some guys would do a lot worse. Their minds would go like: sees gays “Aww God, my eyes! Gotta think something hot! Something straight!” sees lesbians later “Oh wait, nvm. >B)”

Seeing myself think like that though makes me wanna blow my own brains out. >_<;;

The idea of getting turned on by two lesbians doing something sexual is an affront to the masculine! It diminishes masculinity because it objectifies the feminine and trivializing the masculine!

 

[Sapphiregirl]

Well, it is a good thing, then, that the purpose of a couple’s display of affect is not your arousal.

Seeing two fat people kissing turns me off, yet I don’t try to preach about life in “Obese Southern America”.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Well, it is a good thing, then, that the purpose of a couple’s display of affect is not your arousal.

Seeing two fat people kissing turns me off, yet I don’t try to preach about life in “Obese Southern America”.

Seeing two fat people kiss makes me smile. I think that we put far too much emphasis on looks and seeing two people that society calls ugly happy and in love is great.

 

[Sapphiregirl]

I never said I was RIGHT in my natural response to seeing two people kissing, and I never said that they were wrong for PDA. I was merely pointing out that just because I have a certain reaction to it, it doesn’t indicate anything about the morality of it. And that I think its bogus that an argument against gay PDA is “eww, icky”