Life insurance and mistrust

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strawberry1

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My parent recently passed away and I fear that my significance other’s parents have taken out a life insurance policy out on my parent. I have no evidence. Just many signs and suspicions: missing ids, papers, documents, consistent inquires regarding my parents financials post death.
The process of confirming this is a long, timely and expensive without gurantees. I am close to marrying this person and don’t know if I should simply end the relationship because of my fears. I also feel that my significant other may be behind this. They and their family feel it is not wrong to take out a policy on someone is dying and encouraged me to do so before my parent died. I did not and think it is sick and immoral to capitalize on someone’s death.
Confronting my significant other or their parents would end the relationship anyway. The significant other and their family is non catholic and their family, not the significant other, has many immoral habits leading to money loss. I feel that this will always be in the back of my head forever. On the otherhand, what if I am wrong and throwing away a good relationship. How to discern very complicated issues.
I want to believe the best in people but these doubts won’t leave me. Help.
 
Why is life insurance wrong - is this a Church teaching? :confused:

I’m not sure they’ve done anything wrong here, except dodge moral qualms that may be groundless to begin with - and are certainly financially negative.
 
Perhaps you misunderstood me. It is illegal if done behind someone’s back. It is called insurance fraud. This is a serious crime.
 
strawberry1 said:
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   Confronting my significant other or their parents would end the relationship anyway.
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If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your significant other about this, then you should not be getting married. You should be able to talk about what’s on your mind.

Feeling this level of distrust towards someone who you want to marry is not normal.
 
So the question is: should I marry the man I strongly suspect is a felon? Sheesh.:o

I think you know the answer.
 
ack said:
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your significant other about this, then you should not be getting married. You should be able to talk about what’s on your mind.

Feeling this level of distrust towards someone who you want to marry is not normal.
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Exactly.
 
Ummm not understanding this… I can certainly take out an insurance policy on my ex husband who wasn’t healthy looking last I saw him… in fact everyone has encouraged me to do it just to balance out for not getting child support.
 
I can understand taking out an insurance policy on an ex-husband – especially if there are kids involved. But why would your fiance’s parents take out an insurance policy on your parents? I don’t know that there’s nothing necessarily illegal about it but it seems kind of fishy. That’s like me taking out a policy on my next-door neighbor who is an elderly lady who I only say good morning to because she might die in the next several months. I just don’t understand their thinking.
 
Well there is some missing information in this post. Was the parent dying when the insurance was taken out? I don’t mean dying like the rest of us- all of us are terminal, obviously, but did the parent have a serious fatal illness that would have negated the possibility a policy being written without falsifying information?

To the best of my knowledge there is nothing illegal about taking out an insurance policy on another person. Generally one has to have consent, because typically for a policy of any amount one has to have a physical exam and provide information that only the insured has.

Although my interest is definitely piqued, the answer to the question is as others have posted, if you’re uncomfortable asking this question, you should not be getting married. Communication must be open and free for a marriage to be successful.
 
Legal or not, I think this provides a frightening look into the character of someone. Put the cards out onto the table about your fears in regard to this matter and you will need to make a decision from there. If your significant other is not involved, yet his parents are, your problems are not over. These people could potentially be your inlaws.

If you cannot trust at the beginning of a relationship, I don’t know how trust will ever be there again when times get tougher later.

Please discern this matter carefully and be absolutely sure that your concerns are merited. If they are and I were you, I would run as fast as I could in the opposite direction from this relationship.

Peace to you,

Kelly
 
Wow I would run, run away…

But I watch too much court tv. Even locally two old ladies are on trial for taking insurance policies out on homeless men then killing them with a car.

I would be afraid for my life, seriously, people who play the life insurance game tend to get impatient and help the insured along to their pay out.

If you suspect this type of thing is going on – go to the police. It’s not just a bad marriage you are looking at, but potentially risking your life.

How would these people have access to your parents docs in the first place?

This is a strange post.
 
Echoing KC The Mommy…

If they are doing this, you are seriously considering marrying someone who is HELPING his family invade your privacy, take documents about the personal medical and financial history of your parents and use it to play the death lottery?

RUN!

Because imagine down the road… you wonder if they’re sitting like vultures waiting for YOU to die to cash in. You’ll wonder if there is arsenic in your food.

Or worse yet, every time you have a child, you’ll wonder if their interest in the child’s health is because they have a big insurance policy on the grandchild. “How’s he doing today? Sniffles? OH REALLY? Is it getting worse?” God forbid you have a child who is seriously ill, do you want to suffer through that with the idea gnawing away at you that they are going to profit off your and your child’s agony?

Get away from these toxic people right now. And make sure you have all the paperwork on your parents. Change your locks. And let your parent’s doctor know what is going on so that so-called family members can’t call and get personal info on your relatives.

DO NOT MARRY SOMEONE YOU ALREADY DON’T TRUST.
 
strawberry1 said:
My parent recently passed away and I fear that my significance other’s parents have taken out a life insurance policy out on my parent. I have no evidence. Just many signs and suspicions: missing ids, papers, documents, consistent inquires regarding my parents financials post death.
The process of confirming this is a long, timely and expensive without gurantees. I am close to marrying this person and don’t know if I should simply end the relationship because of my fears. I also feel that my significant other may be behind this. They and their family feel it is not wrong to take out a policy on someone is dying and encouraged me to do so before my parent died. I did not and think it is sick and immoral to capitalize on someone’s death.
Confronting my significant other or their parents would end the relationship anyway. The significant other and their family is non catholic and their family, not the significant other, has many immoral habits leading to money loss. I feel that this will always be in the back of my head forever. On the otherhand, what if I am wrong and throwing away a good relationship. How to discern very complicated issues.
I want to believe the best in people but these doubts won’t leave me. Help.
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I used to sell life insurance–it’s very difficult if not impossible in some states, for people to take out life insurance policies on people they are not married to, or related to. There is no relation here between your SO’s parents and yours. Even if you were married – inlaws usually are not permitted to be listed as beneficiaries on inlaws’ policies. Insurance companies always ask what the relationship is…unless the applicants lied, which could be possible.

I would get to the bottom of what you’re feeling, though-because if they in fact were capable of taking out a policy, they could have lied about their relationship. Again, people just cannot take out insurance policies on people they are not related to, married to, etc…even homosexual people have a hard time in some states, getting life insurance when in a couple type relationship, because they are not married. I just can’t walk into a life insurance company, and take out a policy on my neighbor for example–for any amount, etc…it just doesn’t work that way.

I would definitely try to get to the bottom of it.
 
If you think a crime has been committed, why haven’t you called the police?
 
Even if they didn’t do this, you would be crazy to stay in a relationship where you already know that the person you are contemplating marrying AND that person’s parents are sneaky, underhanded, liars that you don’t trust and are non-religious people to boot.

WHY would you even be dating a person who lacks character and doesn’t share your religious beliefs, let alone be engaged to that person?

Please get some professional counseling for yourself-- go see your priest.
 
She should protect herself, but she also has a moral obligation not to let these people go unchecked, preying on others. If she really thinks they committed a crime, she is obligated to the rest of us not to be wimpy and to report that crime to the police. Each day they are in jail is another day they can’t commit insurance fraud and steal from someone else.
 
DH is in the Life Insurance business. Here is the basics. You can’t just take a life insurance policy out on just anyone you feel like taking one out on. Also, if they are above a certain age (I think 35) they have to have a medical eval before most life insurance companies will let someone else take out a policy on them. You can take out a policy on someone that you have a financial interest in (ex: business partner, ex-husband, minor child’s father, etc). If they took out a policy less than 2 years prior to your parents death then the insurance company is going to check everything they can for fraud.

I seriously doubt that they bought a life insurance policy on your parents. Although, you might want to call the credit card bureaus and insure that they are not trying to open up credit accounts. If you look up the three Credit reporting companies on google or you can call your bank, they can get you the phone numbers to call, you can get the phone numbers call and inform them that your parent has passed and that you fear someone might try to get credit in their name. They should be able to put a fraud alert on their information. I would fear that more than the life insurance from the little info you gave in your original post.
 
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