With regard to the loneliness issue, I have worked for the Church long enough to know that it can be a big issue. Today, many parishes no longer have several priests living in a rectory and it may just be the pastor. If he does not have a good developed network of friends or avails himself of invitations from parishioners, yes, his life can be very lonely. Even in rectories with a few priests, they might not get along well or keep to themselves for whatever reason. I have seen this where a pastor would be living with an associate and say that he is never home or just keeps in his room only coming down for meals. Some men can deal with this quite well with hobbies and such, but others take to drinking. There is a problem of alcoholism with priests, just as there is with lay people who are alone a lot. Others get “addicted” to the internet, video games or simply get depressed. A priest needs to address his own issues of dealing with loneliness by having a good network of priest and lay friends. Some can deal with loneliness well as they may be introverts and like the isolation so they can devote time to prayer or reading or study.
Overworking can be a way of compensating for loneliness, as with anyone. Priests are not immune to the same issues we face. And yes, some of them have to know when to say NO and to pass on some of the work to the associate if there is one.
Respect is gained, not assured. If a priest shows by his actions that he is worthy of respect he will get it. But I do agree that society in general, in the wake of the abuse scandal, are leery of the priesthood. This has an affect on the morale of some priests I know and have worked with. Some say they simply don’t care what society thinks (but I think deep down they do), and some work hard to put the priesthood in a better light among those who might be negative towards them.
The affection part is a difficult one, depending on the priest. I know several priests who are afraid to show any signs of affection towards kids. These were priests whom my kids just adored, who would hug them, go on trips with them (with chaperones), and swing the little ones around, pick them up, etc. Now they are afraid to even touch a kid on the shoulder. But the same is true with teachers and anyone who works with kids. When I was a teacher the little ones would come and hug me, I would calm kids down by holding them close or if they were needing a bit of discipline I used to stand behind them and put my hands on their shoulders. Then we were told, because of the scandals, we were no longer allowed to do any of that. It is hard to back away from a 5 year old who wants a big hug, or needs to be held after getting hurt or feeling bad. In our parish a catechist put his hands on a kid’s back and kept it there while moving him out of the door and the parent called inferring that it was abusive (there were witnesses, both adults and kids that came to the catechists defense). So it is a very sad thing that anyone who works with children have to be wary of showing affection.
